If You Want Girls to Signal You More, Be More (Positively) Alert

[Chase]

I've long noticed (as I imagine many guys here have) that women are much more active (and emphatic) in signaling me when I'm in a confident, alert state. Just recently, playing around with @Ratata's in-field visualization concept, I went from "girls trying to get my attention from time to time with mild approach invitations" to "women sending obvious/dramatic approach invitations, parading around in front of me, and planting themselves right next to me."

I was attributing that to small-but-detectable changes in how I was carrying myself (start picturing yourself walking around with a bunch of chicks grabbing all over you, and you get a certain bounce in your step, sparkle in your eye, and sly grin on your face that wasn't there earlier). I have talked about the AI boost you get from attunement in the past.

However, here's a recent MIT brain study finding that things actually become more or less 'visible' to you based on your level of alertness / psychological arousal:

MIT scientists found that what we see is strongly influenced by how alert or active we are. Parts of the brain responsible for planning and control send specialized signals that either boost or quiet visual details. These areas seem to balance each other, sharpening important information while dimming distractions. The study shows vision is constantly being shaped by our internal state.

[H]igher arousal increased ACA's tendency to help VISp sharpen its visual representations. ORB, however, became influential only when arousal was very high, and its involvement appeared to decrease the clarity of visual encoding. According to Ährlund-Richter, ACA may help the brain focus on potentially meaningful visual details as arousal rises, while ORB may act to reduce attention to distracting or overly strong stimuli.

The primary visual cortex of the brain becomes more attuned to specific things you are looking for at higher levels of alertness.

Get to a VERY high level of alertness, and your orbitofrontal cortex starts shutting out irrelevant details to help you zero in with minute detail on whatever it is you're actually looking for.

This matches up with what you will see when you are on 'runs', where you are picking up a lot of girls in quick succession and it feels like suddenly, receptive women are everywhere, and you just know exactly what to do with them. You're in a very high arousal state where you are focused on women's signals and receptivity to the exclusion of almost everything else, and are picking up on signals most guys aren't and that you in a lower arousal state wouldn't even detect (or might detect, but might second guess yourself on: "Is she really...? Or am I reading that wrong..?").

(To be clear: I believe both effects are in play. When you are alert, and behaving in a more confident, attractive way, you are both more attuned to women's signals yourself, and also putting out your own signals that encourage women to notice you and signal for you to approach, signal you to make move and close in the conversation, signal you to move faster with them if they are ready for that, etc.)


WHAT KIND OF AROUSAL IS REQUIRED?

I've talked to beginners who've said they went out looking for approach invitations and saw none at all.

They also do not feel that women ever signal them while in conversation with them.

For some of the real hard-case guys, who claim women must not like them because "women don't signal me, ever", I have given them the task of going out to see if they can see women signaling to OTHER men... and they always come back and say nope, I didn't see that either.

I have taken out all kinds of overweight, unattractive, old guys and found girls who would signal them. And no matter where you are there are always women signaling. So, these signals are out there, but some guys don't see them much or ever.

What I think is happening for these guys is their brains may (sometimes) also be in a state of alert, but they are looking for rejection signals rather than invitations.

I had a guy recently tell me, "I went out, but all I see are women looking away from me, trying to avoid me, closing themselves off to me. Honestly, looking for women's signals and getting all these rejection signals made me feel like a creep!"

The mind sees what it is looking for. If you are looking for rejection signals, the mind is going to focus on those and ignore anything else (including signals of receptivity).

When you are in a HIGHLY attuned state, where you are also calm and outcome independent, you will go out and have women shooting you both rejection signals and approach signals. In conversation, they will be shooting you "do not escalate" and "escalate" signals. You will recognize these signals without much emotion and simply adjust your approach accordingly.

That is the one cautionary note for any guy going out "trying to be more alert to women's signals": make sure you are doing so in an excited and opportunistic way, ideally also outcome detached, where you are seeking positive signals, and not a fatalistic "women are probably not going to be interested in me" way, where you are subconsciously telling your brain to focus on rejection signals (and ignore invitations).

(It is probably also the case that there is a similar 'two pronged effect' in play here, with pessimistic guys putting out signals that make women more likely to want those guys to stay away, as well as pessimistic guys simply ignoring approach invitations and zeroing in on rejection signals.)

tl;dr: Seeing is believing... however, with how the brain works, believing is also seeing.

Chase

 

[James D]

have talked about the AI boost you get from attunement in the past

Me reading this scratching my head thinking "When did Chase talk about an AI (Artificial Intelligence) boost one gets from attunement... Until I clicked ofc.

Great post!

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

I've long noticed (as I imagine many guys here have) that women are much more active (and emphatic) in signaling me when I'm in a confident, alert state. Just recently, playing around with @Ratata's in-field visualization concept, I went from "girls trying to get my attention from time to time with mild approach invitations" to "women sending obvious/dramatic approach invitations, parading around in front of me, and planting themselves right next to me."

I was attributing that to small-but-detectable changes in how I was carrying myself (start picturing yourself walking around with a bunch of chicks grabbing all over you, and you get a certain bounce in your step, sparkle in your eye, and sly grin on your face that wasn't there earlier). I have talked about the AI boost you get from attunement in the past.

However, here's a recent MIT brain study finding that things actually become more or less 'visible' to you based on your level of alertness / psychological arousal:





The primary visual cortex of the brain becomes more attuned to specific things you are looking for at higher levels of alertness.

Get to a VERY high level of alertness, and your orbitofrontal cortex starts shutting out irrelevant details to help you zero in with minute detail on whatever it is you're actually looking for.

This matches up with what you will see when you are on 'runs', where you are picking up a lot of girls in quick succession and it feels like suddenly, receptive women are everywhere, and you just know exactly what to do with them. You're in a very high arousal state where you are focused on women's signals and receptivity to the exclusion of almost everything else, and are picking up on signals most guys aren't and that you in a lower arousal state wouldn't even detect (or might detect, but might second guess yourself on: "Is she really...? Or am I reading that wrong..?").

(To be clear: I believe both effects are in play. When you are alert, and behaving in a more confident, attractive way, you are both more attuned to women's signals yourself, and also putting out your own signals that encourage women to notice you and signal for you to approach, signal you to make move and close in the conversation, signal you to move faster with them if they are ready for that, etc.)


WHAT KIND OF AROUSAL IS REQUIRED?

I've talked to beginners who've said they went out looking for approach invitations and saw none at all.

They also do not feel that women ever signal them while in conversation with them.

For some of the real hard-case guys, who claim women must not like them because "women don't signal me, ever", I have given them the task of going out to see if they can see women signaling to OTHER men... and they always come back and say nope, I didn't see that either.

I have taken out all kinds of overweight, unattractive, old guys and found girls who would signal them. And no matter where you are there are always women signaling. So, these signals are out there, but some guys don't see them much or ever.

What I think is happening for these guys is their brains may (sometimes) also be in a state of alert, but they are looking for rejection signals rather than invitations.

I had a guy recently tell me, "I went out, but all I see are women looking away from me, trying to avoid me, closing themselves off to me. Honestly, looking for women's signals and getting all these rejection signals made me feel like a creep!"

The mind sees what it is looking for. If you are looking for rejection signals, the mind is going to focus on those and ignore anything else (including signals of receptivity).

When you are in a HIGHLY attuned state, where you are also calm and outcome independent, you will go out and have women shooting you both rejection signals and approach signals. In conversation, they will be shooting you "do not escalate" and "escalate" signals. You will recognize these signals without much emotion and simply adjust your approach accordingly.

That is the one cautionary note for any guy going out "trying to be more alert to women's signals": make sure you are doing so in an excited and opportunistic way, ideally also outcome detached, where you are seeking positive signals, and not a fatalistic "women are probably not going to be interested in me" way, where you are subconsciously telling your brain to focus on rejection signals (and ignore invitations).

(It is probably also the case that there is a similar 'two pronged effect' in play here, with pessimistic guys putting out signals that make women more likely to want those guys to stay away, as well as pessimistic guys simply ignoring approach invitations and zeroing in on rejection signals.)

tl;dr: Seeing is believing... however, with how the brain works, believing is also seeing.

Chase

Former Hard case here.

I can talk something similar from my experience that back when as a teen, I got super stressed about lot of things in my life and especially the feeling at that time that I can't get girls cuz they are dangerous ( due to all the manosphere stuff of late 2016 and early 2017)and Real learned helplessness and "I don't deserve love so i would rather do emotional harm to myself"... And along with the depression at that time. I lost arousal to visual cues and later years after that I realised that I had shifted to comfort based arousal... Where I needed to feel comfort with a certain girl and a guarantee that she likes me and then it was easier for me to feel arousal and not just to her but anyone who looked like her in the street.

And I saw that the girls i felt were safe or easy ( cuz of how they looked ) gave me more eye contacts than hotter chicks.

But with time, experiencing and improving inner game.... I saw that all kind of chicks ( even hotter ones) gave me AIs, IOIs. And then I realised that it was due to my stress and anxiety a d self belief that I would not register the AIs i got since teenage.


So, the more comfort I feel with women, I notice their signs a lot than when i was super stressed and even though at that time they signalled and a few even approached me but my mind refused to register it cuz it saw women as a sign of disaster at that time.

And even though last year, just a month of doing social circle game made me automatically see which women look at me or have signs of interest which i never thought was possible for me to get in the past.

And let me repeat again. Maybe it is cuz of my looks but I always got women looking at me but as I was afraid of them so my mind made me not register them.

But the major problem of negativity came for me when it was time to take action or what kind of personality i would show to women.
So, i solved that too. I solved everything that was there.

Note: As for believing is seeing. It's true cuz lot of mental health issues ( even physical ones in some cases) stem from repeatedly telling your mind things that are harmful. And the opposite is also true.

 

[Water69]

So if im dust ugly must I still behave as attractively?

 

[Chase]

Me reading this scratching my head thinking "When did Chase talk about an AI (Artificial Intelligence) boost one gets from attunement... Until I clicked ofc.

Great post!

The sages were correct... we can no longer use the term 'AI' as an abbreviation for 'approach invitation' any longer...

It has been completely overwhelmed by artificial intelligence!

 

[Chase]

@Kshatrap A.V.,

This is great to read, man. Nice progress, & thanks for sharing your experience!

But with time, experiencing and improving inner game.... I saw that all kind of chicks ( even hotter ones) gave me AIs, IOIs. And then I realised that it was due to my stress and anxiety a d self belief that I would not register the AIs i got since teenage.

Amazing, right?

So, the more comfort I feel with women, I notice their signs a lot than when i was super stressed and even though at that time they signalled and a few even approached me but my mind refused to register it cuz it saw women as a sign of disaster at that time.

And even though last year, just a month of doing social circle game made me automatically see which women look at me or have signs of interest which i never thought was possible for me to get in the past.

That's fantastic.

Note: As for believing is seeing. It's true cuz lot of mental health issues ( even physical ones in some cases) stem from repeatedly telling your mind things that are harmful. And the opposite is also true.

It's kinda crazy how big an effect the mind has on what you are actually able to see (or not) in your life and environment.

The deeper you get into it, the more you start to question, "What else am I not seeing due to my own biases?"

Then you're really into the rabbit hole..!

Chase

 

[Chase]

@Water69,

So if im dust ugly must I still behave as attractively?

It is even more important if you are "dust ugly."

If you are ugly, the only two reliable ways to get women (aside from waiting for the occasional "for who knows what reason this random woman is simply attracted to you for you" girl to come along) is to either get rich and famous or develop attractive behavior.

(Though even if you go the rich and famous route, rich and famous guys without attractive behavior have a hard time over the long-term with girls... getting the girl is much easier than compared to when they were broke nobodies, but keeping her on her best behavior... well, not so much...! So even then, I recommend: learn to behave in attractive ways!)

Chase

 

[Water69]

@Water69,



It is even more important if you are "dust ugly."

IT's a very tricky situation.

I have big money good style , used designer purple clothes, big perfumes, but it has to do something in the Face... I have glasses aswell but ridding it doesn't seem to improve a thing.

I don t want to be famous i prefer hiding more, but as Sex is important, i wanna practice it still. for free...?

I used more than 300 Escorts daily now one, from mid 2023 to early 2024, it was a good time, but I felt like a total Betta Provider, and my dad said providing isn't good because the see you as a ATM, and not genuine.

Everyone know some are used for sex and some used for money. But i couldn t esape this latter catergory.

 

[lceman]

Feeling more confident but especially more horny gets me eyeballs. Opposite is when I'm stressed and busy and notice nothing. Kind of like a mirror.

"I want to bring someone home tonight" vs "I'm going to go out and talk to girls" gets me way more attention.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

@Kshatrap A.V.,

This is great to read, man. Nice progress, & thanks for sharing your experience!



Amazing, right?



That's fantastic.



It's kinda crazy how big an effect the mind has on what you are actually able to see (or not) in your life and environment.

The deeper you get into it, the more you start to question, "What else am I not seeing due to my own biases?"

Then you're really into the rabbit hole..!

Chase

Actually I should thank you. Cuz Had i not been reading girlschase, i don't know where I would be in life.

Speaking of biases, These days I am having biases which support my success so everyday it looks like the world wants me to succeed.

 

[gameboy]

the world wants me to succeed.

That's an excellent mindset to have!

I believe mindset is actually one of the most important factors for pretty much anything in life.

 

[Water69]

Feeling more confident but especially more horny gets me eyeballs

trvke

 

[Francis]

The sages were correct... we can no longer use the term 'AI' as an abbreviation for 'approach invitation' any longer...

It has been completely overwhelmed by artificial intelligence!

Lol fuck these robots... It's fun, but sometimes they neg in C3. Sheesh.

Maybe "red pill" can be stolen back like a Matrix unplugging.

Or OS (operating system) could be stolen in exchange. Opener Signal... or Solicitation... Then pAImAI would trickle down to pOSmOS lol

 

[Francis]

I tried this trick and it was really cold out, so I got confused about what outfits they should be in. Turned into some kind of skimpy Eskimo parka and I almost started laughing, which got me an AI.

So it works!

For real though... I do notice this when I've got sex on the mind generally and am walking around - usually with my head elsewhere rather than overlayed on reality. Will have to give it a real shot while in a conversation. Or maybe turn on multiple windows of striptease dance porn when heading out the door or something.

 

[Marty]

The mind sees what it is looking for. If you are looking for rejection signals, the mind is going to focus on those and ignore anything else (including signals of receptivity).

When I first learned to drive (in 1993) I failed my test the first time, then got a new instructor who completely transformed my view of this crucial life skill. Until then I had been cautious and hesitant, which paradoxically made my driving less safe. He encouraged me to "know where I'm going" and be positive and assertive. Suddenly I started making fast progress, passed my test before the year-end without difficulty, and became a confident and responsible driver.

Of the many wise pieces of advice he gave me, one that particularly stuck with me was the following:

Don't look at the obstacle. If you do that, you might hit it. Look instead at the gap between obstacles. Your hand-eye coordination will do the rest by itself.

This doesn't just apply to driving, by the way. In the decades since, it's been priceless in avoiding sticky situations when skiing, bicycling, walking down the street in a hurry, running for a closing flight at the airport, skating, crossing a busy street in heavy traffic on foot, and even maneuvering a shopping cart through a grocery store.

However, here's a recent MIT brain study finding that things actually become more or less 'visible' to you based on your level of alertness / psychological arousal:

This is very interesting, and I love how you provide citations from the literature to back up your assertions, although given your track record, Chase, I'd be inclined to believe it just because you say it. However, I think that why it works is probably more than what I need at the moment. For now, I will stick to resources that describe how to do it: I see that you've linked to one of your own articles to get me started, and I'd be fascinated to read more.

I've talked to beginners who've said they went out looking for approach invitations and saw none at all.

They also do not feel that women ever signal them while in conversation with them.

For some of the real hard-case guys, who claim women must not like them because "women don't signal me, ever", I have given them the task of going out to see if they can see women signaling to OTHER men... and they always come back and say nope, I didn't see that either.

This certainly resonates with me; I can't recall ever seeing a woman signal to another man.

As for receiving invitations myself, there was one time in my early thirties, before I found the Girls Chase website, when I left my office in Moscow to buy some hygiene products in a pedestrian underpass beneath the Garden Ring. The rather foxy saleswoman, a little bit older than me at the time and in very fetching hose and heels, made long-lasting, repeated, and very intense eye contact with me over the course of the five minutes or so that I was in the store, coming over close to the shelf where I was choosing the items and making sure that I could see that she was looking at me, several times. (We used to dress nicely for the office in those days: suit, tie, cufflinks, the works.)

I reckoned something must be up, although I wasn't sure what, so I asked her name at the checkout, got her phone number, and called her and met with her a few times over the following weeks. I didn't know the term "approach invitation" at the time, but I am guessing that's what it was.

I don't remember anything like that happening again in the 15+ years since. It would be great if I could learn to recognize it; for me it's more one of those things you have to take on faith until you see it for yourself.

 

[Chase]

@Water69,

Everyone know some are used for sex and some used for money. But i couldn t esape this latter catergory.

There are two parts to that:

1. Helping women to see you more as the lover
2. Preventing women from viewing you as a provider

On the former, see here:

What’s the Difference Between a Lover and a Loser?

C. Wong posed a question on the article about social value several weeks back, trying to tease out what exactly is the difference between a lover and a loser: “Dear Chase, This is another enlightening post, it clarify a lot of misconceptions that confuse men. I am currently digesting the first...

www.girlschase.com

Sexiness: What It Is & How to Have It

Sexiness is the quality of being carnally desirable. Yet it seems so abstract: why are some people sexy while many aren’t? It all boils down to 3 items: intent, confidence, & appeal. Earlier this year in my article on insider vs. outsider seduction frames, reader JimmyS asked about the crux of...

www.girlschase.com

On the latter, see here:

Telling Women You're NOT Boyfriend Material

Last weekend I spoke at a gathering of the San Diego pickup community. One of the things I skirted over briefly, due to time constraints, but that guys asked me to spend a little more time on and seemed very interested in hearing about, was on disqualifying yourself as a boyfriend. Why would any...

www.girlschase.com

Boyfriend Disqualifiers: Must They Fully Disqualify You?

A boyfriend disqualifier gets a girl to think of you as just a lover, not a boyfriend. When you use these, must you ‘go all the way’ in having her disqualify you – or not? Lately there’s been a fair bit of discussion on the Skilled Seducer Forum about how far you need to go in disqualifying...

www.girlschase.com

Though also be mindful of this:

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Do If You're Not That Sexy (Yet)

It takes time to be sexy. Yet while you’re working on it, there’s no reason for you to go dateless in the meantime. Writing on the Girls Chase boards, a member by the name GottaChange says: “From what I’ve seen around the only men who manage to consistently bed women using a normal...

www.girlschase.com

@Marty,

Of the many wise pieces of advice he gave me, one that particularly stuck with me was the following:

Don't look at the obstacle. If you do that, you might hit it. Look instead at the gap between obstacles. Your hand-eye coordination will do the rest by itself.

This doesn't just apply to driving, by the way. In the decades since, it's been priceless in avoiding sticky situations when skiing, bicycling, walking down the street in a hurry, running for a closing flight at the airport, skating, crossing a busy street in heavy traffic on foot, and even maneuvering a shopping cart through a grocery store.

That's a cool piece of advice from that driving instructor!

I have certainly seen that effect all kinds of places (driving, playing fast-paced first-person shooter games, shooting basketballs, playing billiards) and was sort of aware of it but never had it conscious.

Crazy. You learn something new every day!

This certainly resonates with me; I can't recall ever seeing a woman signal to another man.

Yep. It is the "signal blindness" problem.

I see women signaling other guys, signaling in general, and signaling me everywhere I have been, regardless of continent or culture.

Taking guys out in the field I am often surprised how much they do not see women's signals though. Stuff that seems glaringly obvious to me many guys do not even pick up on. Kinda wild..!

As for receiving invitations myself, there was one time in my early thirties, before I found the Girls Chase website, when I left my office in Moscow to buy some hygiene products in a pedestrian underpass beneath the Garden Ring. The rather foxy saleswoman, a little bit older than me at the time and in very fetching hose and heels, made long-lasting, repeated, and very intense eye contact with me over the course of the five minutes or so that I was in the store, coming over close to the shelf where I was choosing the items and making sure that I could see that she was looking at me, several times. (We used to dress nicely for the office in those days: suit, tie, cufflinks, the works.)

I reckoned something must be up, although I wasn't sure what, so I asked her name at the checkout, got her phone number, and called her and met with her a few times over the following weeks. I didn't know the term "approach invitation" at the time, but I am guessing that's what it was.

I don't remember anything like that happening again in the 15+ years since. It would be great if I could learn to recognize it; for me it's more one of those things you have to take on faith until you see it for yourself.

Yeah, see, that's about as blatant an approach invitation as you will get.

It's a rare woman who has the kind of confidence and iron will (or incredibly strong, primal attraction to you) to just stare you down like a piece of meat and not let up. Women are typically far more ambiguous.

If you want to look for signals, start looking for these:

• Hair flips
• Repeated glances
• Hovering

They're the three most common ones.

Just start by looking for hair flips. Examine every woman you see and see if she flips or adjusts her hair.

It's not always an approach invitation (she might just be fixing her hair because "someone is looking at me"... or even just because of the wind), but it often is. Especially if you see multiple hair flips / fixes, and ESPECIALLY if it's combined with repeated glances or a hover.

Chase

 

[Water69]

I got 15 hair flip from Afghan girl back time so good, was true.

 

[Marty]

I have certainly seen that effect all kinds of places (driving, playing fast-paced first-person shooter games, shooting basketballs, playing billiards) and was sort of aware of it but never had it conscious.

Totally. And I figured that if I could learn to look at the gap, not the obstacle, as a 17-year-old, and become better driver as a result, then as an adult I can probably learn to look for the favorable female signal, not the adverse one, as you suggested, and become a juicier catch for the opposite sex.

Taking guys out in the field I am often surprised how much they do not see women's signals though. Stuff that seems glaringly obvious to me many guys do not even pick up on. Kinda wild..!

Indeed. I'm generally observant and aware of my surroundings and conscious of others' actions, but this stuff beneath the surface tends to elude me. Probably I see something but don't recognize or perceive it because I don't know what it means.

Yeah, see, that's about as blatant an approach invitation as you will get.

It's a rare woman who has the kind of confidence and iron will (or incredibly strong, primal attraction to you) to just stare you down like a piece of meat and not let up. Women are typically far more ambiguous.

That's interesting. Thinking about it, there was one occasion over 3 years ago when a woman made persistent, strong eye contact again. It was a youngish 30s professional lady who had moved into my building in the apartment below me. Near midnight one night I was taking out the trash, dressed only in my pajamas with a winter jacket thrown over for warmth, when she stopped me on the stairs and introduced myself as my new neighbor. She was doing the intense eye contact thing, which took me aback because I wasn't properly dressed and was carrying foul-smelling garbage... anyway, when I met her again in the stairwell a few days later, she repeated the unrelenting eye contact. By this period I was already well familiar with your work, Chase, and figured that she might possibly be interested in me; and since she was reasonably attractive, I asked for her number and suggested we meet for coffee. But when I texted her, she replied but said she was too busy. We ran into each other a few more times in the couple years or so she lived there. On one of these occasions, she asked me whether I was busy too, to which I replied in the negative, hoping that we would be able to find a mutually convenient slot to meet, but no dice. Once when we were walking the same way in the street, she brushed up against me and got pretty touchy-feely, but still I couldn't persuade her to join me on a date, and then she left and went off to live somewhere else. Too bad I guess.

If you want to look for signals, start looking for these:

• Hair flips
• Repeated glances
• Hovering

I have definitely seen these on an almost constant basis, especially the last. Like I said, I tend to be aware of what people are doing. However, all my adult life I have also tended to trust my instinct, because I discovered in childhood that if I made all decisions logically and ignored my intuition I tended to get myself in bad situations. And when I've seen those signals, my intuitive reaction has been that they do not indicate interest in me as a man. I can't quite express why, it's just the way it comes across.

Could it be that in this case, I lack experience, therefore, my instinct has not learned to adapt, and that I should take these signals "on trust", ignore my own intuitive response, and try to get the woman's attention?

And on the hovering: if she's hovering near me, does it mean she's hovering "at" me, assuming no one else is nearby?

 

[Will_V]

I've long noticed (as I imagine many guys here have) that women are much more active (and emphatic) in signaling me when I'm in a confident, alert state. Just recently, playing around with @Ratata's in-field visualization concept, I went from "girls trying to get my attention from time to time with mild approach invitations" to "women sending obvious/dramatic approach invitations, parading around in front of me, and planting themselves right next to me."

I was attributing that to small-but-detectable changes in how I was carrying myself (start picturing yourself walking around with a bunch of chicks grabbing all over you, and you get a certain bounce in your step, sparkle in your eye, and sly grin on your face that wasn't there earlier). I have talked about the AI boost you get from attunement in the past.

I haven't tried a lot of visualization, but it's very clear to me that state plays a huuge role in getting IOIs. The way I conceptualize it, the best state is the one you're in lying in bed on a lazy sunday afternoon with your girl - very low anxiety, with your body language, facial expressions, and movements soft and at ease, communicating openness and a desire for intimacy.

From the small amount I know and have experienced about visualization, it's important not to deviate too far from reality, to not visualize something too wild, because - at least for me - it creates a kind of internal dissonance and tension. I have to focus on what lies a little further down the path of idealism from where I currently am.

However, here's a recent MIT brain study finding that things actually become more or less 'visible' to you based on your level of alertness / psychological arousal:

The primary visual cortex of the brain becomes more attuned to specific things you are looking for at higher levels of alertness.

Yeah, I read somewhere (probably one of the David Eagleman books I've got) that the brain only 'sees' what is different and unexpected. That is, the visual cortex compares the incoming image to the image it has stored in memory (more or less), and only passes the information that is markedly different. So you can walk past something and even if it's completely inside your field of view, you might literally not see it if you are not specifically looking for it.

The behavior of girls around me is something I reflexively look for at this point. I know immediately when I have their attention, how they responded to me, and I am already adjusting my body language and attention accordingly.

What I think is happening for these guys is their brains may (sometimes) also be in a state of alert, but they are looking for rejection signals rather than invitations.

I had a guy recently tell me, "I went out, but all I see are women looking away from me, trying to avoid me, closing themselves off to me. Honestly, looking for women's signals and getting all these rejection signals made me feel like a creep!"

The mind sees what it is looking for. If you are looking for rejection signals, the mind is going to focus on those and ignore anything else (including signals of receptivity).

That's interesting. When I had pretty strong social anxiety, I'd see all these negative signals. Over time I learned to look at them not as signals of rejection, but signals that I was successfully capturing her attention, and that all I had to do was transform the impression into a positive one.

To this day I'm much more weirded out when I get no attention at all compared to negative reactions, because any attention at all can be transformed into something positive with skill.

 

[D. Gately]

Aside from the repeated glances which is clearly far & away #1, for me the signal trinity has always been:
1) Hair flipping,
2) Lip licking,
3) Shoe Dangling.

These are pretty unmistakable signals if you're 'not sure' she's glancing in your direction.

Hell, even if she was initially looking at the guy behind you if she's exhibiting these behaviors you need to move in confidently because she is ready to hook up with *somebody*.