Is this a shit test or a done deal?

[Calibration]

A chic I met yesterday during lunch break. In person interaction was great. I think I fucked up texting a bit and had to double text with a long text. Anyway, I said I'm 32 and she was 18 and she didn't seem to mind in person. When she asked my age, I said 65 and joked around and made her guess. She guessed 30 and I said 32.

https://imgur.com/a/BLflfBD

https://imgur.com/a/Xz1CXEa

https://imgur.com/a/IeU4n6P

 

[Rakehell]

It’s not,

looks like a polite rejection.

 

[Beam]

I mean, I don't know if it was a reference to your in person convo and what this chick was like in person, but to me that text on the alchemist and follow up seems way too philosophical for an 18 year old. Also not easy to understand. I had to read it like 5 times before I understood what you meant and even then I'm not 100% sure. Not surprised she got weirded out.

 

[TomInHo]

It was a bad text

When she said "You wish" you should have taken that as a sign of negative compliance. It would have been wiser to fractionate out into conversation that would help attainability and build social frame

Although the text was cheesy, it may have worked later in the interaction after you built enough compliance and she was showing more interest.

Also you need to speak in a way that the girls understands. If you did this with a girl that was a huge book nerd and loved crystals and astrology it may worked amazing. But in this case she doesn't feel like you get her, which is why she used your age as excuse for the rejection

This would be hard to recover from so just take it as a lesson learned

 

[Calibration]

I mean, I don't know if it was a reference to your in person convo and what this chick was like in person, but to me that text on the alchemist and follow up seems way too philosophical for an 18 year old. Also not easy to understand. I had to read it like 5 times before I understood what you meant and even then I'm not 100% sure. Not surprised she got weirded out.

It was a bad text

When she said "You wish" you should have taken that as a sign of negative compliance. It would have been wiser to fractionate out into conversation that would help attainability and build social frame

Although the text was cheesy, it may have worked later in the interaction after you built enough compliance and she was showing more interest.

Also you need to speak in a way that the girls understands. If you did this with a girl that was a huge book nerd and loved crystals and astrology it may worked amazing. But in this case she doesn't feel like you get her, which is why she used your age as excuse for the rejection

This would be hard to recover from so just take it as a lesson learned

Agree, it was a bad text. I was in the middle of working and was having a back and forth chat and didn't know what else to send. So, this thing came to my mind since she had told me she likes reading and more like these kinds of books and she's not a party girl and doesn't even drink alcohol etc. Btw, in person interaction had a lot of teasing, more like asshole humour and she was giggling all the time. She took her phone out and I said "Do you want to post our selfie on IG saying you found the love of your life? It's too early.. come on. I only know you for 15 mins". Then she was not making eye contact in the beginning and then I said "I know you're too shy looking at me but you can be comfortable" and lightly poked her waist. She was laughing again and after that she got comfortable looking into my eyes. She was cracking up like crazy for everything I said. There was even a lot of physical escalation in just 20 mins I spoke to her.

I was thinking of sending "lol.. you can call me daddy then" but the tone of her text sounds like she's being serious but again my next question is, she could've just ghosted or blocked me. Why did she text me back?

 

[TomInHo]

Agree, it was a bad text. I was in the middle of working and was having a back and forth chat and didn't know what else to send. So, this thing came to my mind since she had told me she likes reading and more like these kinds of books and she's not a party girl and doesn't even drink alcohol etc. Btw, in person interaction had a lot of teasing, more like asshole humour and she was giggling all the time. She took her phone out and I said "Do you want to post our selfie on IG saying you found the love of your life? It's too early.. come on. I only know you for 15 mins". Then she was not making eye contact in the beginning and then I said "I know you're too shy looking at me but you can be comfortable" and lightly poked her waist. She was laughing again and after that she got comfortable looking into my eyes. She was cracking up like crazy for everything I said. There was even a lot of physical escalation in just 20 mins I spoke to her.

I was thinking of sending "lol.. you can call me daddy then" but the tone of her text sounds like she's being serious but again my next question is, she could've just ghosted or blocked me. Why did she text me back?

Ah! That's better context

Okay G! She liked you a lot, but I think you over-gamed in this situation. You're too focused on getting reactions and not really connecting much. Lots of entertainer stuff murders attainability

It works, but IMO it works best in doses as a way to spice up your interactions

 

[Calibration]

Ah! That's better context

Okay G! She liked you a lot, but I think you over-gamed in this situation. You're too focused on getting reactions and not really connecting much. Lots of entertainer stuff murders attainability

It works, but IMO it works best in doses as a way to spice up your interactions

This used to be my bread and butter. But I focus a lot on connection and comfort these days. You know that bro..
Anyway, I talked a lot about her dreams and aspirations and how she made the right choice to travel at her age which will expand her thinking and also learn different facets of life. I even talked to her about how brilliant that she doesn't drink alcohol (I was dispising drunk girls after that french girl lol) she was German and she said she's travelling in my country for one year and I told her to find herself. She said that's the idea. She has been an introvert all her life and find it hard to make friends and connect to people. So, this will give her an opportunity to learn and grow and hopefully she'll be a different person by the time she returns home. Then I was teasing her that she didn't ask me about me. So, she said, like I told you.. Sorry.. I'm very bad with interacting with people. I didn't know what to ask. I said, that's alright I understand and I told her few things about myself and then told her, next time someone asks you, you must be telling something like this. She beamed saying now she knows etc

When discussing age in person, I told she doesn't seem so young. She asked, the way she looks or the way she behaves. I said, the way you behave. You're able to hold a conversation with me for this long. So, you're actually good with people. You just have to recognize it. She said, thanks that means a lot to me. Then I gave her a warm hug and parted ways. There were many more topics that we connected on.

But I guess you're right. That text is a bit weird.. specially for a teenager and probably she freaked out.

 

[Will_V]

It's a done deal, you can try to send a chill text trying to re-engage but it's pretty much busted.

Read the text you sent. Type it out and send it to yourself if you have to, but imagine a girl sent that to you. Even from a teenage girl that would be a needy, overbearing, and slightly weird series of texts. You'd look at it and ask 'wtf does she want .. ?' and have a look out the window. And you're supposed to be the older man who's about his business, secure, confident and living in abundance.

I know you're learning and putting yourself out there and that's great, but you've got to train yourself to be a bit more self aware because many of your skills are far ahead of these kind of mistakes. Before you say/text stuff, ask yourself, is this something that a cool guy would say/text? Is this something that (modified for non-sexual context) a friend would say/text to you and you would be happy to receive? Do you feel that this is your normal level of self expression for the medium that it was communicated in? Don't let your anxiety to become successful with women change the way you communicate.

In person, your goal is to build rapport, set up a date, and get the number as a means to fix logistical problems related to the date. Over text, some chill banter, the kind you'd have with your little sister, is all you need while you confirm the date details, no pseudo-seductive gamey fishing routines based on pop female psychology. You're not her life guru, she's not on some email list for the latest good news from the cosmos, she's not paying you for any of that stuff, you're a man lots of shit to do who wants to spend some quality time one on one with a woman.

Good luck.

 

[Skills]

It was a bad text

When she said "You wish" you should have taken that as a sign of negative compliance. It would have been wiser to fractionate out into conversation that would help attainability and build social frame

Although the text was cheesy, it may have worked later in the interaction after you built enough compliance and she was showing more interest.

Also you need to speak in a way that the girls understands. If you did this with a girl that was a huge book nerd and loved crystals and astrology it may worked amazing. But in this case she doesn't feel like you get her, which is why she used your age as excuse for the rejection

This would be hard to recover from so just take it as a lesson learned

^ hb: you wish

Shawn: note to self traveler hottie does not know how to flirt, You disappoint (maybe sad emoji playfully teasing) after she respond change convo thread

@Shawn you are doing good is just your timing is off (is ok you will get there as you get more experiences) your calibration is still not there you come too strong to fast....

here is the squence:

flirt: push

if she is not compliant pull back and calibrate, change convo thread etc... till she invest once she invest your reward with a bit more flirt... the flirt point is to gauge reactions.... when the reaction lack investment you pull back....

Also learn what a shit test is:

How to deal with women tests aka shit tests! - The Skills Method

First, what is a shit test? A shit test is something that girls do (usually more so when you first meet them) to see whether you’re man enough for them. I mean … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

again the whole point of flirt and humor is to gauge reactions, you need to calibrate, pull back and rinse wash repeat change convo thread, also don't come too strong so fast unless she is investing (this can be feel even through text) don't double down... push pull dynamic...

 

[Calibration]

It's a done deal, you can try to send a chill text trying to re-engage but it's pretty much busted.

Read the text you sent. Type it out and send it to yourself if you have to, but imagine a girl sent that to you. Even from a teenage girl that would be a needy, overbearing, and slightly weird series of texts. You'd look at it and ask 'wtf does she want .. ?' and have a look out the window. And you're supposed to be the older man who's about his business, secure, confident and living in abundance.

I know you're learning and putting yourself out there and that's great, but you've got to train yourself to be a bit more self aware because many of your skills are far ahead of these kind of mistakes. Before you say/text stuff, ask yourself, is this something that a cool guy would say/text? Is this something that (modified for non-sexual context) a friend would say/text to you and you would be happy to receive? Do you feel that this is your normal level of self expression for the medium that it was communicated in? Don't let your anxiety to become successful with women change the way you communicate.

In person, your goal is to build rapport, set up a date, and get the number as a means to fix logistical problems related to the date. Over text, some chill banter, the kind you'd have with your little sister, is all you need while you confirm the date details, no pseudo-seductive gamey fishing routines based on pop female psychology. You're not her life guru, she's not on some email list for the latest good news from the cosmos, she's not paying you for any of that stuff, you're a man lots of shit to do who wants to spend some quality time one on one with a woman.

Good luck.

When she said "You Wish", I lost frame. To regain the frame, I did all the circus and ended up making it weird. I didn't think that it'd come across as weird and was only focused on regaining the frame. She stopped texting me after I changed the subject asking about the book. I thought, she was shit-testing and I failed the shit test and to recover from that, I sent that long ass double text. I didn't know how else to recover. Well it makes me feel like taking a looong break from all this..

^ hb: you wish

Shawn: note to self traveler hottie does not know how to flirt, You disappoint (maybe sad emoji playfully teasing) after she respond change convo thread

Ya something like this would've saved face but couldn't think of this.

@Shawn you are doing good is just your timing is off (is ok you will get there as you get more experiences) your calibration is still not there you come too strong to fast....

here is the squence:

flirt: push

if she is not compliant pull back and calibrate, change convo thread etc... till she invest once she invest your reward with a bit more flirt... the flirt point is to gauge reactions.... when the reaction lack investment you pull back....

This has happened in-person too. She'd be complying for all my compliance tests and suddenly throws a curve ball and if I fail it, it's game over. I cannot remember a time when I pulled back after non-compliance, she reengaging with me.

Also learn what a shit test is:

How to deal with women tests aka shit tests! - The Skills Method

First, what is a shit test? A shit test is something that girls do (usually more so when you first meet them) to see whether you’re man enough for them. I mean … Continue Reading →

www.theskillsmethod.com

again the whole point of flirt and humor is to gauge reactions, you need to calibrate, pull back and rinse wash repeat change convo thread, also don't come too strong so fast unless she is investing (this can be feel even through text) don't double down... push pull dynamic...

Our in person interaction was great and didn't expect her to throw a curve ball over text. I think girls are hesitant to shit test in person since their emotions are not in control as much as over texting. Oh well..

 

[Will_V]

When she said "You Wish", I lost frame. To regain the frame, I did all the circus and ended up making it weird. I didn't think that it'd come across as weird and was only focused on regaining the frame. She stopped texting me after I changed the subject asking about the book. I thought, she was shit-testing and I failed the shit test and to recover from that, I sent that long ass double text. I didn't know how else to recover. Well it makes me feel like taking a looong break from all this..

Ya something like this would've saved face but couldn't think of this.

This has happened in-person too. She'd be complying for all my compliance tests and suddenly throws a curve ball and if I fail it, it's game over. I cannot remember a time when I pulled back after non-compliance, she reengaging with me.

Our in person interaction was great and didn't expect her to throw a curve ball over text. I think girls are hesitant to shit test in person since their emotions are not in control as much as over texting. Oh well..

Sorry if my post came off as harsh, it was meant to be encouraging.

You're doing very well to get the interactions going with these women, just gotta keep a cool head no matter what happens and don't let the fear of losing her ever get the upper hand. Emotion and ego blinds us many times to simple truths, stay perceptive my friend and you will evolve quickly.

 

[Skills]

When she said "You Wish", I lost frame. To regain the frame, I did all the circus and ended up making it weird. I didn't think that it'd come across as weird and was only focused on regaining the frame. She stopped texting me after I changed the subject asking about the book. I thought, she was shit-testing and I failed the shit test and to recover from that, I sent that long ass double text. I didn't know how else to recover. Well it makes me feel like taking a looong break from all this..

Ya something like this would've saved face but couldn't think of this.

This has happened in-person too. She'd be complying for all my compliance tests and suddenly throws a curve ball and if I fail it, it's game over. I cannot remember a time when I pulled back after non-compliance, she reengaging with me.

Our in person interaction was great and didn't expect her to throw a curve ball over text. I think girls are hesitant to shit test in person since their emotions are not in control as much as over texting. Oh well..

Brah did you read what i explain about shit test.... shit test is mostly flirting total eroneus conclusion on shit test.. please read the article...

 

[Calibration]

Sorry if my post came off as harsh, it was meant to be encouraging.

You're doing very well to get the interactions going with these women, just gotta keep a cool head no matter what happens and don't let the fear of losing her ever get the upper hand. Emotion and ego blinds us many times to simple truths, stay perceptive my friend and you will evolve quickly.

Bro, please don't be sorry! You don't know how grateful I'm for this community and people like you here. I've been on a lot of communities, but it's one of the only communities where people give advice rationally and have respect for each other. Most of you guys are the most selfless people I've come across. I don't take any advice harshly unless it gets too personal. I said I feel like taking a break cos with every interaction I'm having, I fuck up at one point or the other and it's draining and emotionally very demanding. I know I'm learning and growing but the journey is intense sometimes. Thanks for all your advice and it has already helped me immensely.

 

[Calibration]

Brah did you read what i explain about shit test.... shit test is mostly flirting total eroneus conclusion on shit test.. please read the article...

Yes, I read it.. I meant shit test when she said "You Wish" and I didn't know how to respond to that. I believe that was a shit-test and things after that were not. Also, since I had the same frame in person where she was very compliant, I continued that over text too but it back fired.

 

[Calibration]

Don't let your anxiety to become successful with women change the way you communicate.

This.