Main chick is planning a getaway for us

[moom]

Currently seeing two chicks- my main chick is who i've been seeing for about a month now (really have had sex maybe like 10 times and I've seen her like 6 times in the month).

We were drunk one night and somehow the conversation went to us planning to go to Montana for a weekend to see Yellowstone.

I travel a TON (I'm a digital nomad)- i have atleast one week a month where I'm somewhere outside of my city.

So I'm kinda stoked to go as it will be my January trip but a couple questions raise up in my mind:

1) Is it too early?
2) How much effort should I put in to planning this trip vs her? So far she's given me some air bnbs to look through
3) Is this even a good idea at this early stage?
4) Anything I should keep in mind if I go through with it?

Thanks.

 

[moom]

Bump

 

[Fuck This]

Getaway trips is a Boyfriend behavior. It is a solid step in the Monogamous direction. If you haven't had a "What are we?" conversation yet, it is coming; most likely as pillowtalk on this trip.

 

[moom]

God damnit, how can I prolong the sex and get out of that talk? Should I cancel the trip?

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Prevention is a lot better than the cure so let's start here:

I've seen her like 6 times in the month).

This means you've seen her 1-2x per week. Very easy to fall into but if you want to keep it casual you should see her once every 1 to 2 weeks.

1) Is it too early?

Yes trips should be 6 months in. If you really can't help yourself at least wait 3 months.

2) How much effort should I put in to planning this trip vs her? So far she's given me some air bnbs to look through

Let her organise as much as possible. Just note that the more she invests the more she'll want commitment later.

Alternatively you can drag your feet and let the plans "fizzle out" which would be the best cancelling option as she saves face and it's "no ones fault"

3) Is this even a good idea at this early stage?

No

4) Anything I should keep in mind if I go through with it?

The one silver lining is that you travel a lot as a nomad. Which is pretty dam cool by the way.

So if you do go along with it, make it super chill, straight forward and no big deal.

Just be careful as the path you're on is how a lot of guys "fall" into relationships.

 

[moom]

Prevention is a lot better than the cure so let's start here:


This means you've seen her 1-2x per week. Very easy to fall into but if you want to keep it casual you should see her once every 1 to 2 weeks.


Yes trips should be 6 months in. If you really can't help yourself at least wait 3 months.


Let her organise as much as possible. Just note that the more she invests the more she'll want commitment later.

Alternatively you can drag your feet and let the plans "fizzle out" which would be the best cancelling option as she saves face and it's "no ones fault"


No



The one silver lining is that you travel a lot as a nomad. Which is pretty dam cool by the way.

So if you do go along with it, make it super chill, straight forward and no big deal.

Just be careful as the path you're on is how a lot of guys "fall" into relationships.

Yo i appreciate this- kind of what my thoughts were, good to see someone else validate them. It didnt really hit until she asked earlier this week “so are we doing this?” lol.

I had drunkenly made the trip idea with her and to me it didnt matter much at all because I travel all the time.

Going to try the drag my feet out/ fizzle out thing first and if theres no way around it, ill just treat it like no big deal and use Chase’s words if she asks “what are we”

 

[Vision]

If you don't want to be in a committed relationship with her, don't go on the trip with her.

Remember that there are a bunch of little things that, to a lot of guys, don't mean shit... but to women, it means you're progressing in the relationship.

Things like...

Pet names, going on trips together, seeing each other more often, messaging each other more often, meeting friends, meeting family, gifts, vulnerabilities, the amount of time you've been seeing each other.

Dudes be like, "What, I told you at the beginning I wasn't looking for anything serious?"

And chicks be like, "But I met your family, we live together, and are looking to buy a house?"

Dudes then be like, "But I told you at the beginning..........."

 

[moom]

If you don't want to be in a committed relationship with her, don't go on the trip with her.

Remember that there are a bunch of little things that, to a lot of guys, don't mean shit... but to women, it means you're progressing in the relationship.

Things like...

Pet names, going on trips together, seeing each other more often, messaging each other more often, meeting friends, meeting family, gifts, vulnerabilities, the amount of time you've been seeing each other.

Dudes be like, "What, I told you at the beginning I wasn't looking for anything serious?"

And chicks be like, "But I met your family, we live together, and are looking to buy a house?"

Dudes then be like, "But I told you at the beginning..........."

Lmao so true.

I’m naturally romantic (even after many lays) and don’t think before I act lmao. My roommates are my friends and my other friends are around all the time so she just kinda naturally met my friends.

I give everyone nicknames, so I gave one to her too.

I gave her a bracelet the first night after sleeping with her that I was wearing cause I’m a sentimental guy lmao and then a few weeks later she gave me one

Kinda fucked myself here lmao

The best I can do from here on is be hyper-vigilant in my actions

 

[topcat]

Yeah what @DoWhatWorks said.

I've been on trips with three of my mains before. Never had any huge issues, but bare in mind it was at 6 months in. I'd never met their friends or family. Kept it to once every two weeks, once every week at times. And they had to convince me to take the trip. I literally acted unsure the whole time and they had to beg and bow and make the trip as easy as possible for me to say yes to. They did all the planning, and paid for a good chunk of it too. Trips went swimmingly.

It's doable but you need to know what you're doing, and be comfortable saying no. Also understand that shit could go left at any time on the trip. She''ll probably think she has you and test if she does.

If you're willing to cut your losses and go home early, on your own, then you have what it takes to go on a trip with a chick I'd say.

Do your thing. You'll learn either way.