Men "Wearing Down" Women?

[Ambiance]

What I'm talking about is when you hear a couple talking about how they got together, and the girl will say the guy kept hounding after her for a date for months until she finally said yes, and then they hit it off and got together.

How on Earth could this work? It seems to ignore a lot of the rules of this site, like move fast, don't chase women, date multiple women... and yet I know plenty of couples who started out like this, and seem to be great together.

I'm thinking jealousy could explain a lot of this- guy chases girl, girl kinda likes guy but resists, guy gets closer to other girl and stops chasing, girl gets jealous and chases guy, they get together... but honestly I can't see the typical nice guy pulling this off with any degree of consistency.

Any thoughts or explanations?

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Ambiance,

The answer is easy.

80 pct (or so) of the guys in this planet get girlfriends and wives without following any of the rules here. Actually even doing the opposite. Yes, it's possible!

But how many months, or years, of waiting alone in the bedroom at night, before they "got lucky"? What is the likelihood that their girl just got out of a relationship with an "alpha" guy who turned out being uncontrollable, and decided to rebound on an easy to manage "beta" guy? Once such a guy finally get to fuck a girl, how dependent and clingy on her is he going to become? When is the next time he will get his dick in something if she leaves him? What is his neediness going to do with her attraction to him?

What I believe is that all girls, primarily, are chasing the guys at the top of the sexual pyramid, the so-called "alphas". These guys get the lion's share of the sexual action. The girls try to get one of these guys and lock him... However the better the guy, the harder is it to lock him - just because he has so many options. Ultimately a girl gives up on trying to secure the top, and now turns down on the bottom of the sexual pyramid, where all the "beta" guys are. Not as exciting on a sexual perspective, but they can have their usefulness... as Provider. And now, one of them will "get lucky" and eventually get the girl. Provided she likes him good enough, and if he has other value to offer, she will allow him to court him and stay around on multiple dates, and if he doesn't fuck it up too much they will become BF and GF. Under her close control. My theory is that one this happens, it's because the girl just had some hard time securing one (or many) guy(s) at the top, and is seeking some easier time. [Also note that, on this model, the girls are in the middle layer of the sexual pyramid, and the alpha guys are above them].

Whether my theory is true or not, it is possible anyway to get a girlfriend without following the rules. But how many failed dates? How many unanswered texts? How much confusion? And how much time to get one?

You're better off following the rules. You'll have a relationship because you made it happen (and not but sheer luck). You will have a relationship with the girl you choose (and not with the one who chooses you). You will be in much better control of the relationship (instead of having no clue of the relationship dynamics).

Seppuku
PS.

and yet I know plenty of couples who started out like this, and seem to be great together.

To guess how great they actually are together, just look at the statistics of divorce.

 

[Ambiance]

Haha I was definitely overthinking that... yes I think your theory hits the nail on the head. Especially when the girl herself isn't quite the hottest girl around and can't feasibly secure a top tier guy at her current level. I think what threw me off was how women presented their relationships with such men to others. Of course they're gonna want everyone to think they're with their dream guy and they are so happy together. Haha, girls probably try hard to convince themselves of that, to protect the ego... All while keeping in touch with me

Thanks for your answer Seppuku! Hope you are having a fantastic week.

A