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My brother is being played by his wife, how to i talk to him

sumwunimetonce

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 17, 2019
Messages
79
So, my brother was staying with us recently with his new baby and noticing the way his wife treated him really made me angry.

My brother, good bloke, good looking and great rig, average chat. > 100k salary, could be 200k in a few years

Her, 5 or 6/10, bad teeth, 36 so cant have too many more kids, very boring.

The scene ... they live in Silicon Valley, my brother works his ass off, often > 12hr days, she looks after the kids, insists on having cats so the house stinks, does not do much cooking or cleaning and is generally quite lazy and dirty. He comes home and has to cook his own food, do some childcare and share lots of laundry over the weekend.

He was recently on paternity leave and spent most of it driving round the shittest part of the UK seeing her family instead of going to Tuscany like he wanted to do.

The worst part is he is going along with it, is telling himself that he likes cooking his own dinner (he does but maybe not after a 12 hour day) and a modern man should share the childcare.

I want to speak to him about managing his relationship, I am certainly not going to advise him to leave her but he needs help.

He is a nice guy that has got used to saying yes and is getting played. She has got him doing what she wants when she wants, making the cash and doing way more housework than he should.

I think the real problem is he has no idea how to change to situation, he is too passive and not leading in the relationship and I do not think he knows how to change.

How would you guys approach opening his eyes to whats going on ?

What strategies would you advise he use to regain control ?

Is there any books or material I can point him too ? (Something like Alpha Male Strategies but for guys in monogamous relationships) ?

Help much appreciated
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
2,091
Give him a copy of the married man's sex life primer from Athol Kay. or the Mindful Attraction Plan by him as well.

But he is going to have to want it before anything will help. You see right now he is focusing on making his family work. And this will continue for at least 2 more years. He is IN LOVE with that child, as much as he was in love with his wife when he proposed. Your attitude at this point is no help. So don't say anything unless you want to damage your relationship with him. If you want to help, then you get the books, read them, and WHEN HE says something, then you can offer him the information. Let him be a good father and husband. The ship is underway and a course correction is not in the cards with an infant...
 

sumwunimetonce

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 17, 2019
Messages
79
The issue is he will never ask for help, he will probably just eat shit and be unhappy forever or until he decides to get a divorce. That’s why I want to help him not end his relationship but improve it so that his life can be better. I also think having stronger boundaries will improve his career too.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
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