What makes you think it is totally dead? Just curious, because what I see is that you once again eagerly pushed for a meet-up the next day and all she said was "I don't know about tomorrow." And listed a bunch of what could very well have been legitimate reasons she was busy. I am just highlighting how you are taking what she says and assuming the worst of it. You have literally turned "I don't know if I can meet tomorrow" into "It's done." Just be aware of these kinds of mind filters in the future, because they will affect the choices you make when relating to women. In fact, you seem to have been running this sort of filter (or similar ones) throughout the entire interaction with this gal. Might want to identify where that is coming from, for yourself.
Not trying to give you false hopes here. Not saying that it is not a dead end, sure it very well could be. I am not sure you really sold her on the meeting-up-to-talk thing. Here are some reasons why
She sounded semi-distracted the whole time
Her: *unnaturally energetic* Heyy
-She comes with this high energy, and you come in with a low energy instead of raising to match her a bit.
She is not "unnaturally energetic" she is in a high state cause she is partying with her friends and an airbnb. At least she is answering the phone with positive energy and not like "what do you want dude?"
Me: yo. what’s up
Her: Nothin much…
Me: Where u at? (i heard background noise)
Her: Just at an airbnb w my friends
She tells you about this cool thing she is doing with her friends and you barely respond at all. This is a missed opportunity to lighten the mood and make the convo feel more casual and not such a big deal. So at this point, the whole thing feels super serious
Her: What did you want to say?
Me: Ah you saw my text. I’d say that its best for an in person talk.
- at this point I didn’t want to just jump into planning “what day do we meet?” because with the vibe she’s shown me it didnt really feel right
"the vibe she's shown you" is a reflection of the vibe you've shown her. And anyway, I get that you were caught off guard, so it might have been tricky to know how to proceed. Talking about this over the phone was maybe not the best option, but it's what you went with. (In a moment I will give an example of how you could have maybe led this differently and avoided the following part of the convo you had)
I know I was a bit pushy before
Me: And a little cold too. I dont express my feelings it as well as I should
Basically, you highlight the negatives here and do nothing to highlight the positives. The whole point of this convo was to let her know how much you are about her, and that is why you were overly eager. Because she is a smoking bombshell, and why wouldn't you be about it?
So now it is like "okay so you just called me to vaguely atone for something...?"
Me: Yeah. I’ma let you back to your thing. We can talk tomorrow
What reason does she have to be compelled to talk tomorrow? It now feels like some super serious/ awkward thing. Where is the fun and excitement? Where is the chemistry? And again, you are just eagerly pushing for a meet-up asap, one-track mind
Her: *Immediately* I dont know about tomorrow. I have work and got to help my *blahblahblah*
Me: Cool. Let me know. *Hang up*
Just like that? The moment she put's up a tiny barrier you buckle.
Maybe not the most ideal position at this point, but at least get in there and attempt to do something about it.
What if you had asked for clarity? Something like "No sweat sounds like a pretty packed day. Just to be clear it would really be great to just meet up and chat when the moment is right, maybe grab a coffee and take a walk. Sound like something you're into?"
This gives her an opportunity to see where you are coming from, it is low pressure, and it gives her an opportunity to be clear about where she is at.
Even if she is not sure she can vocalize that and you can adjust from there
Her: Well, I am not sure
You: Not sure? that's okay. Is there anything in particular that is holding you back?
Her: ummm, I don't know
You: That's okay, there is no expectation to have it all figured out. What if I shoot you a text in a couple of days and we can go from there?
Her: Okay, that works
You: Awesome, have fun with your friends.
*ping her a couple days later* (though may be an uphill battle at this point).
This is just one possible route you could have taken things, but the idea here is that you have to lean into it man. You are just kind of beating around the bush. Get in there, and work with what is being given to you.
I take full responsibility.
You got a growth mindset, no doubt!
Okay, so here is an example of another way that convo could have gone.
She answers the phone with high energy and you match her
You: Hey there, what are you up to? sounds like you're having fun?
Her: haha totally, my friends and me got this airbnb
You: Dang, living large. That's whats up. You in a mansion right now or something?
Her: haha, no just somewhere we can all hang
You: Right, on, well hey I've been thinking about some things about the way we've been related. It's nothing big or super serious, but probably best to talk in person. Easier to communicate that way.
You: Awesome, well what's your week like? I'm mostly just getting some work done, hanging out with some friends. That kind of stuff
Her: Well I work the next couple days, gotta help Grannie in the garden
You: Grannie in the garden? You never told me you have a green thumb! That's cool.
Her: Haha, yeah it's fun
You: Right, on. Well hey, sounds like the next couple days are packed. What if we shoot for the weekend?
Her: Okay, I think that works, I gotta see about a few things
You: No sweat, we'll just touch base in a couple of days and we can go from there!
You: Alright Elizabeth, have fun at your mansion
Her: Haha, will do
(or maybe this convo carried on for like 10 minutes you two just having a nice catch up, before it even gets to the "we should talk about things part")
This is just some convo I pulled out of my ass here, so yeah there are a number of ways it could have all gone. But notice how in this example you
-Match her energy, bring positivity, and keep things mostly lightly
-Take what is being given to you and run with it in order to build a sense of connection
-Make the conversation mostly about connecting, and not just one track mind "I gotta talk about this one thing, I gotta get her out, I gotta make the agenda work"
- You are flexible
-You are leading the conversation and giving it a sense of direction
-Frame the whole talk you would like to have with her as not a big deal.
-You give her a sense of what the conversation will be about so that she knows a little bit about what to expect
-You are clear in the fact that it is best to have the convo in person. Rather than getting into it while she is out having fun with friends
-You don't just let eagerness get the best of you and spill the beans right away. which leaves room for wanting ("what does he want to talk about exactly?")
-You are understanding and not pushy
-You don't just fold when she puts up a little barrier, but instead, work with her on it.
-You end on a positive note
Now how likely do you think it is that she will be game to meet up again to talk?
Okay, the conversation could have gone many ways and had many different barriers or twists and turns. But the principles are the same.
It is like these other guys on here are pointing out. @Karea Ricardus D.
really getting to the heart of the matter and pointing out how you were listening to her incorrectly. And mis-conveying where you are coming from as well.
pointing out how your conversations in general have a bit of a 'normie' matter-of-fact tone.
highlighting how you are way too cagey, and also failing to offer her a sense of direction.
One last note I will leave things on. It is okay to ask for clarification on things. Like when you two were together the first time and she said something around the lines of "You don't want me" and you replied "Then why would I be here?" You were essentially glossing over what she was saying, and trying to convince her to be comfortable. But, what if you had approached it with curiosity?
You: what do you mean, I don't want you? Don't want you how so?
Her: Well, you're not really attracted to me
You: You think I am not attracted to you?
You: What makes you think that?
and so on. Once she has given you more info, then you can respond and frame your response in a way she will relate to. This also might require you to be honest about where you are coming from as well. Hence the whole be less cagey thing.
Her: You just want me for sex
You: Just for sex?
You: Your afraid I am just using you?
You: I understand, but I don't know what I can really say, cause you might not believe me anyway, but I know that I really enjoy the time we spend, cause it's always really fun and easy hanging out together. But I can understand where you're coming from, cause we're both leaving town soon, and that definitely puts a sort of limit on things. I just think you're super fine and cool, and It's fun exploring this connection, but it's not like it has to be one way or another. I'm just glad we're spending time. but if you're having trouble trusting the connection, I am not sure what we can do.
Her: I understand, I guess it does make me sad we are both leaving town soon
You: Yeah totally. I am just happy we are here together right now.
*passionately melts into your kisses*
Basically, you are getting in there, getting in front of the matter at hand, and articulating things you both are feeling anyway. Then it's all on the table and you both know what you are working with. By taking the lead you are creating the opportunity for you two to collaborate, using the psycho-emotional material on hand.
Seduction is really just a form of negotiation. It has different elements at play than something like a business negotiation, but it is a negotiation non the less. You are just negotiating psychological/emotional/biological drives and desires, instead of money. Also while there is a time and place in seduction for hardball negotiation tactics, the majority of it is softball negotiations where the intent is to keep the connection/chemistry going rather than drafting firm absolutes.
Again, the form these principles take isn't one size fits all, but the core of them will always remain true.