My inner game+ trauma healing work has made my life too peaceful

[Kshatrap A.V.]

I will give a bit of background and context here. ( Btw my former name was.
Spyce d)

Since childhood my life was filled with lot of experiences but generally it aligned more with the negative. Middle school days were filled with bullying, abuse ( verbal , physical and even sexual ) , humiliation and all those things had lead me in a weird mindset. And that also lead me into all my vices like compulsive internet usage, porn usage etc. in that time and all that had fucked up my inner self.

You know that how some posts of mine used to be just about trying to overcome fear, anxiety, and all those weird things. And how I was never able to take action and also got hooked to smoking and drinking.


But right now, I am all healed up.

I no longer have any anxiety or panic that used to have back in the past. Nor do I feel any emotional reaction when such thoughts come up.


I am more cool headed than i have ever been in my life. I don't even have my daily evening anxiety that I had for many years.

Even, in career .... I no longer feel that I will fail and my mind automatically thinks of confronting problems rather than running away from it.


I do feel like my life has gotten too peaceful to the point where I feel that it's something that I had never experienced. Cuz even though i have all the material luxuries in life but never had peace of mind.


My identity feels more masculine, now.

All the past fears and trauma based arousal symptoms that had been causing me anxiety ha e vanished or are not making me react emotionally.


I would just say that all this is making me a bit lazy tho and like what do I do now. Lol.


I will definitely write what I did to solve all issues in detail in future.


But as for now. I can say that girlschase and the gents of this forum had a big role in helping me. I got to know about this website when I first searched for how to get out of depression on Google many years ago.

So, thank you so much. And other than that I would say that daily journaling, meditation, taking action in different fields ( even though i would end up failing in lot of them cuz of my inner issues), traveling, learning pickup, dating, mma , living in different city, talking with close friends and even to psychologists ( they werent much of help but it gave me new experiences in life).

I feel like my life has just started.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Few more thing that helped were

Psycho-cybernetics.

Reading lot of history.

 

[Karea Ricardus D.]

Congratulations man.

I would just say that all this is making me a bit lazy tho and like what do I do now. Lol.

Pursue a spiritual awakening. A real one, not new age nonsense or religion.

I feel like my life has just started.

It has.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Congratulations man.

thanks man.

Pursue a spiritual awakening.

I already have chosen a certain path. It's my own.

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

New realisations now that my irrational beliefs, feelings, body functions, habits etc. were simply due to lack of experience In fields I desired deeply and then those deep desires turned inward and gave me more irrational beliefs, feelings and bodily functions. I just want to say that my deep and strong desires towards women couldn't get a way out so they turned inside and did this.

So, cuz I was never focusing on gaining experience but solving my issues so maybe that is why issues persisted or I do not know tbh cuz those issues themsleves were not letting me take consistent action. So, removing them first was necessary.

And to be honest, I had bad beliefs due to conditioning so gaining experience was already tough. And gaining experience while having a set of negative core beliefs is not good either. It is like drinking milk in a copper utensil.

Anyways, I see that phase of my life as paying my dues, now.

At that time when I wrote this post I still had trouble trying to replace it with good beliefs but now It feels easier.

To quote @Chase from this .

When an individual has passionate desires, but lacks an outlet for them, those passions turn inward and he slips into despair.

And that despair has no limits.