Need some backup fellas...I really do...

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,821
Okay guys,

This is a problem my dad is having, and I'm not quite sure how to go about helping with his woman problem... Never thought I'd see the day where I had to give my dad advice with women...

Anyway, my parents divorced about 7 years ago, and my dad has been holding out for my mom, and my mom lately has been coming around and warming up to the idea, his resolve to have my mom is unshakeable (by his choice). He's passed up numerous women while still holding out for my mom.

However, he was at a party like 2 weeks ago, and met a girl from his teenage years named Ellie, and while my sister was out today, he had a heart to heart with me (very fucking weird), and was crying saying he can't get Ellie out of his head. But is maintaining his resolve that he wants my mom and is telling himself that he "can't" do anything with the new girl.

I'm at a crossroad about how to deal with this.

Any ideas fellas?

-Richard
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,642
Location
Southern California
Richard,

I don't have a lot of time here, but I also don't want my opinion to be biased since it is your parents. There are more emotions involved on your end, so I'll give you the quick, unemotional response.

Your dad needs to keep his options open. As we all know here on the boards, waiting for a woman to "come around" is never a good thing -- it means somewhere along the lines, there was a mistake made by the man. If a woman truly desires you (after you've already slept with her), then there's little that can happen to change her mind about how she feels about you unless something has drastically gone wrong. Once that happens, things can get sticky, and the woman may never view you the same way again. That being said, a woman never really forgets about a man she's spent long periods of time with because it was obviously for a good reason (at least at the time).

But your dad should ask Ellie out on a date and proceed as if your mom was never in the picture. Assuming your dad moves things quickly, the best case scenario is that both Ellie and your mom desire him, and he is allowed to decide which path he wants to take. And as a matter of fact, should he choose to see Ellie for awhile, it'll likely only make your mom want your dad back even more. If things were to go awry with Ellie down the line, your mom might just be waiting right around the corner for her opportunity to get back with your dad (because, don't forget, pre-selection is still the strongest tool for attraction in seduction).

The worst case scenario is that your mom eventually decides she doesn't want your dad back (and as you may very well know now, what women want can change from day to day with the flow of their emotions), and your dad is already seeing Ellie, so he has something to fall back on. In the meantime, your dad might even realize that Ellie has great qualities as a partner, and it might perk up his spirits again. And if things don't work out with Ellie, it might even inspire him to go back out and at least start meeting new women again (rather than waiting for the pot that may never boil).

This is my completely objective point of view on things for you to consider because family/close friends usually clouds facts with emotion. So hopefully it gives you an extra perspective for you to consider.

Hope this helps, Richard!

- Franco
 

Richard

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,821
Thanks for the input Franco, and it's exactly what I want my dad to know.

I'm gonna sit him down and have him read what you wrote because he generally listens to others before he listens to me. (Weird haha).

I'm hoping that this will provide him with some clarity on the matter as well.

Thanks so much Franco,

-Richard
 

moonrayarc

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 22, 2013
Messages
31
Do you see any possible future between your dad or mom?
Maybe if you feel that your mom has still something for you dad or show any signs of longing to get with him anew, you can push him to to take a step forward.
 
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