Need some thoughts and opinions re an upcoming Bumble date

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Need some opinions and thoughts for someone experienced here re a bumble date I’m going on tmrw.

This is a hotter chick than I’ve matched with so far to date
whereby I had to overcome her objections to meeting me, in that I didn’t have LTR listed as an option on my Bumble Bio, ( casual fun dates and intimacy w/o commitment I’ve selected – must revise this) and she thought I was not looking for ‘serious’ or intentful dating.

I over came this and got her number and this is what follows;

It’s an Audio recording laying out what’s happened so far (hope this is allowed)

Question I have is – do u think she’s likely down to bang or not ?

voca.ro/1jyvm4SehFrb

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Ps I will assess the situation regardless on the date and play it by ear,

if I detect interest I’ll likely try my moves on her and escalate from there

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

But just putting it out there to see what experienced playaz think is up from her behaviour,

 

[gameboy]

So you're asking us to click on some random link instead of just writing what she says?

Not sure this is even allowed as her voice could be identified.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Wasn’t sure if it would be allowed tbh
I’ll delete it.
It’s just an audio clip I’ve uploaded on a audio hosting app called Vocaroo ..

would take me too long to type it all out tbh.
Maybe I can get some voice fo text app or something to convert to text or something for Efficiency.

I hate writing tbh I’m not much of a writer Soz

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

It’s just my thoughts and musings on an interaction from bumble and a date scheduled for tmrw . There’s no chick on if.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

All good I have deleted the file off the hosting website.

Basically the situation is
I marched a chick on Bumble
She pushed back a bit saying it was a shame I’m cute but she is looking for LTR and I have listed “casual fun dates” in my profile,
I overcame her objections to this , saying I’m just playing if wide re dating and looking for dates to establish chemistry and then move on from there. Im open fo an LTR.

she happy with this answer and flicked me her number.

i texted , she rang me (!) and was very keen to meet asap. Setup a date for tmrw.

so I’m wonderful has she switched her mind over to possibly banging me now somehow or is she still gonna be cagey and LTR focused,

her eagerness to set up a date asap. And even come to my locafion for the coffee date suggests she’s very keen to meet me,

which useually indicates a bang intention,

that was all really. Looking for opinions on how to play the date.

Ill just run as per usual I guess. If I see interest I’ll make some moves and escalate.
Worst she can say is no or tell me to slow down or bail on the date,

She looks quite hot is all so a lil bit nervous.
first date with a decent chick in a while.

the LTR objection then the keenness after threw me.
I’m not really sure I want to get into an LYR it’s just dates and bangs in after.

thanks,
Jim

 

[gameboy]

Oh I thought you'd uploaded a voice note from the chick somewhere.

As for your question, who knows? Each girl is different, and even the same girl is different on different days of the month...

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Oh I thought you'd uploaded a voice note from the chick somewhere.

As for your question, who knows? Each girl is different, and even the same girl is different on different days of the month...

A fair point,
That is true.
no point over thinking a coffee date anyway hey. I’ll just assess and run my usual Arousal game and my stock moves regardless. If she pushes back I just cut and run . She may not be that hot IRL anyway.

cheers Jim

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Update -
The date went well. 2 hours of a coffee a walk and a drink,
She was flirty and we had a few pashes and she was into me afaics.
but she was cagey re me not being intentful for an LTR/ serious relationship and kept breaking my seduction moves

,An interesting thing she said was “ you’re not how I thought u would be - “ I asked for clarification she added “i thought u would have been a bit of a a Flog (dick head)”

so I’m wondering if she was initially was up for a bang as she was so keen to meet me, But now is putting me into possible LTR category.

this happens to me quite a bit . I’m TOO easy going and connect a bit TOO much sometimes I think,

Altho I intially to overcome her objections re my not being intentful for an LTR to begin with to get her on a date.

why would she want to meet a possible Flog/dickhead so quick unless she wanna bang him.

strange.

any thoughts from u real playaz?
Have I LTR -zoned myself by over connecting ?? She is pretty hot and v bangable.

Thoughts/opinions pls.

 

[WierdDough]

Girls have an easy time getting sex, but not all sex is a good option for them. Almost never is the offer just good times and sex, almost always there´s more attached to the offer.

Sex, and prospects of romance. Sex, but with a bit of misogyny. Sex, and some real emotions. Sex, but with narcissism.

A lot of the time, you simply aren´t a good option for sex, and it´s because you´re not aware of your attachments.

To me, it sounds like you wanna offer her good times and good sex, but your actual offer seems to be something else.

Feel me?

WD

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Girls have an easy time getting sex, but not all sex is a good option for them. Almost never is the offer just good times and sex, almost always there´s more attached to the offer.

Sex, and prospects of romance. Sex, but with a bit of misogyny. Sex, and some real emotions. Sex, but with narcissism.

A lot of the time, you simply aren´t a good option for sex, and it´s because you´re not aware of your attachments.

To me, it sounds like you wanna offer her good times and good sex, but your actual offer seems to be something else.

Feel me?

WD

Yeah I understand what ur sayin.

with This chick yeah it was the jumping over the speed bump of this “ ur not looking for an LTR thing. So I had a bit of head stuff going on before the date I had to quieten down.
her observation of “ your not a dickhead as I expected “ tho.. that signals to me she was keen on a bang instead as I’d overcome her objections . I’m thinking now if I’d played it more of a dickhead and a let’s just bang frame she’d probably have gone with that.

I was a bit too much of a sweetheart then on the date . I didn’t read the situ properly,

she’s lining me up for a day2.. I’ll just prepose to her if that happens “ let’s just have an affair ..and see what happens “ I reckon.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

I have suffered from this in the past in my old days as a single man Getting a fair bit of action.

its basically a bit of anxiety if the chick is hotter than I’ll lose the potential of a lay.

its really idea and best to be straight with them hey. Can lose a few lays but that’s just the way it goes. Less complicated and muddy/ vague quasi relationships and stress that way. Chicks kinda hate that. Waste of time for both parties tbh.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Girls have an easy time getting sex, but not all sex is a good option for them. Almost never is the offer just good times and sex, almost always there´s more attached to the offer.

Sex, and prospects of romance. Sex, but with a bit of misogyny. Sex, and some real emotions. Sex, but with narcissism.

A lot of the time, you simply aren´t a good option for sex, and it´s because you´re not aware of your attachments.

To me, it sounds like you wanna offer her good times and good sex, but your actual offer seems to be something else.

Feel me?

WD

So how do you think I ought to have played it differently? Skipped the date as she has issues with me not having LTR listed in my OD bio etc? Thanks Jim

 

[WierdDough]

So how do you think I ought to have played it differently? Skipped the date as she has issues with me not having LTR listed in my OD bio etc? Thanks Jim

Well, it´s hard to be specific, but in general it has to do with what you´re presenting. See, she gave you an initial test on the LTR thing, and you managed to overcome that objection. So far so good. You presented yourself as a casual dater on the website, she tested, you overcame. When you then met up, she was still expecting to meet a casual dater, but what she met was a little different. You were engaging, made good conversation, had manners and so on. Not quite casual dating material, because you might actually make good LTR material, hence her stating that you were not what she was expecting. That´s my analysis.

My suggestion: Try less for a "good conversation" and tangible connection with girls overall. If it´s logical why you like each other, it leads to a more traditional dating situation.

Try more to be stimulating, finding what her buttons are and using them, giving her a challenge etc. If the connection is more situational and the reason why you like each other is not that apparent, just that you make her feel good, then it leads to a more spontanous dating situation. Am I making sense?

Conclusion: She was probably ready for some casual dating with you, but you presented something that wasn´t "just good sex" or "good times, good vibes and sex". You probably presented something more in line of "sex, and prespects of something more", and that usually slows down the seduction.

At least that what it sounds like when I read your post. I still don´t think that your chances are that bad, the latest impression is usually the one that lasts, so just be more stimulating next time. If shes in the mood, and you seem like a valid option at the time, you´ll probably get lucky.

WD

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Well, it´s hard to be specific, but in general it has to do with what you´re presenting. See, she gave you an initial test on the LTR thing, and you managed to overcome that objection. So far so good. You presented yourself as a casual dater on the website, she tested, you overcame. When you then met up, she was still expecting to meet a casual dater, but what she met was a little different. You were engaging, made good conversation, had manners and so on. Not quite casual dating material, because you might actually make good LTR material, hence her stating that you were not what she was expecting. That´s my analysis.

My suggestion: Try less for a "good conversation" and tangible connection with girls overall. If it´s logical why you like each other, it leads to a more traditional dating situation.

Try more to be stimulating, finding what her buttons are and using them, giving her a challenge etc. If the connection is more situational and the reason why you like each other is not that apparent, just that you make her feel good, then it leads to a more spontanous dating situation. Am I making sense?

Conclusion: She was probably ready for some casual dating with you, but you presented something that wasn´t "just good sex" or "good times, good vibes and sex". You probably presented something more in line of "sex, and prespects of something more", and that usually slows down the seduction.

At least that what it sounds like when I read your post. I still don´t think that your chances are that bad, the latest impression is usually the one that lasts, so just be more stimulating next time. If shes in the mood, and you seem like a valid option at the time, you´ll probably get lucky.

WD

Thanks man
That’s some good analysis and advice,

I should say on D1 ran my usual “Arousal Game” and flirted heavy , made out w her a few times (she broke off the kissing at the bar each time keeping it from getting too hot n heavy) I petted her and touched her arms and legs a fair bit as I usually do . Date 1 went almost exactly 2 hrs

Here’s an update..the plot thickens (lol)

Had a D2 which was takeaway and wine at my place, I’m thinking “ awesome she’s dropped the dating Frame and wants to come and bang, this is a slam dunk for me plus she’s hot = happy days.

Fyi my current house is a dump with no useable lounge room so we had dinner in the kitchen with a small tv + DVD player. She had some wine .had dinner and lots of laughs , great vibe.
I have a crappy CD player + a box of old cds from 90s. She was playing DJ and laughing. All going so well…
Eacalated after dinner in kitchen sitting down on chairs opposite . She was turned on., I was feeling her up good-o.

after 15-20 mins of little make out sessions
I whack her Tits out and suck da nips. She’s arching and moaning, awesome .
Then I went to drop the hand and popped her jeans button.

denied!

next thing she breaks off , wags her finger in my face .. “ oh no no no (wag wag) we are not doing THAT tonite hahaha) cheeky boy etc

I didn’t react - ok no worries blah blah lets just make out it’s cool “ yadda yadda

I just take it down a notch and restart.
Hands up under the bra , kissing the neck , hand down the back of the pants on her ass etc etc

next thing she she breaks off “ I have to leave / gotta go home / blah blah. Stands up and puts on the jacket,

I’m like “ lol ur kidding right?”
her “ nah I really gotta go”
She had mentioned something re my housemate in room across the hall from kitchen earlier . So I though maybe it’s the location she don’t like., so I says “ U haven’t even seen the bedroom let me give u the tour “ and pulled her in .. closed the door and restart make out. Nope . She’s off again.

I say “ but wi I ever see u again” in a jokey way. Replies “ yeah I’ll see u … just take me on a proper f**kin date this time !” Haha

so I follow her out the front door giving her some banter and she’s off walking fown the street saying she’ll organise in an Uber.

i checked my watch and it’s exactly 2 hours this date also.
I call my friend for a lil debrief and 7 mins into call I think shit she might be in the area I better try one last time . So texted her “ come back! Don’t leave me this way haha” etc rtc

then she gets real frosty and sharp over text saying “ this is not going to work James - u want casual dating and I want a relationship “ blah blah

I try to keep it light and drop a few flattery lines re ur hot ur /so cute /I couldn’t help myself “

her final reply was a sharp “ what the fuck are u talking about?”

so I just ended with “ thanks nice fo see u get home safe x “

but it ended pretty frosty.

during our D2 she mentioned she had a ‘proper date ‘tonite she dropped for me,

I reckon she left to go off on that one tbh
No matter to me anyways. But we shall see if I get a D3.

 

[WierdDough]

Thanks man
That’s some good analysis and advice,

I should say on D1 ran my usual “Arousal Game” and flirted heavy , made out w her a few times (she broke off the kissing at the bar each time keeping it from getting too hot n heavy) I petted her and touched her arms and legs a fair bit as I usually do . Date 1 went almost exactly 2 hrs

Here’s an update..the plot thickens (lol)

Had a D2 which was takeaway and wine at my place, I’m thinking “ awesome she’s dropped the dating Frame and wants to come and bang, this is a slam dunk for me plus she’s hot = happy days.

Fyi my current house is a dump with no useable lounge room so we had dinner in the kitchen with a small tv + DVD player. She had some wine .had dinner and lots of laughs , great vibe.
I have a crappy CD player + a box of old cds from 90s. She was playing DJ and laughing. All going so well…
Eacalated after dinner in kitchen sitting down on chairs opposite . She was turned on., I was feeling her up good-o.

after 15-20 mins of little make out sessions
I whack her Tits out and suck da nips. She’s arching and moaning, awesome .
Then I went to drop the hand and popped her jeans button.

denied!

next thing she breaks off , wags her finger in my face .. “ oh no no no (wag wag) we are not doing THAT tonite hahaha) cheeky boy etc

I didn’t react - ok no worries blah blah lets just make out it’s cool “ yadda yadda

I just take it down a notch and restart.
Hands up under the bra , kissing the neck , hand down the back of the pants on her ass etc etc

next thing she she breaks off “ I have to leave / gotta go home / blah blah. Stands up and puts on the jacket,

I’m like “ lol ur kidding right?”
her “ nah I really gotta go”
She had mentioned something re my housemate in room across the hall from kitchen earlier . So I though maybe it’s the location she don’t like., so I says “ U haven’t even seen the bedroom let me give u the tour “ and pulled her in .. closed the door and restart make out. Nope . She’s off again.

I say “ but wi I ever see u again” in a jokey way. Replies “ yeah I’ll see u … just take me on a proper f**kin date this time !” Haha

so I follow her out the front door giving her some banter and she’s off walking fown the street saying she’ll organise in an Uber.

i checked my watch and it’s exactly 2 hours this date also.
I call my friend for a lil debrief and 7 mins into call I think shit she might be in the area I better try one last time . So texted her “ come back! Don’t leave me this way haha” etc rtc

then she gets real frosty and sharp over text saying “ this is not going to work James - u want casual dating and I want a relationship “ blah blah

I try to keep it light and drop a few flattery lines re ur hot ur /so cute /I couldn’t help myself “

her final reply was a sharp “ what the fuck are u talking about?”

so I just ended with “ thanks nice fo see u get home safe x “

but it ended pretty frosty.

during our D2 she mentioned she had a ‘proper date ‘tonite she dropped for me,

I reckon she left to go off on that one tbh
No matter to me anyways. But we shall see if I get a D3.

Alright, lots to work with this time. I think up to the point where you guys were getting hot and heavy you were doing fantastic, and she was fully enjoying herself. Sounds like it was mutual and fun, and that´s the way it should be, but after some further advances there was some friction. Again, you were met with an objection, and your response was to plow through it. Sound about right?

Here´s where we can get technical. Firstly, incidental escalation should always precede overt escalation. In this example, going straight for her pants was a mistake. Instead, rubbing against it with your leg, using body pressure, or using your forearm while caressing her thigh etc.

Secondly, realize that escalation is not stimulation. The reason you got the makeout was that you had good game before that point. Backing off from the escalation is the right move. Think of the structure like this:

1. Stimulation = Creating windows of opportunity
2. Calibration = Reading windows of opportunity
3. Escalation = Seizing windows of opportunity

So in this situation, you didn´t read the window correctly, and when you tried to escalate, the window had already closed. More stimulation was needed for this to have been a successful seduction. Escalation is hot and heavy, stimulation is cool as a cucumber. Asks, labels, qualifyers, and disqualifyers are you best bet here, let´s use lebeling as an example:

The escalation is getting more heavy, you lean back a bit, and regain your composure.

You: My god, I´m in such a naughy mood right now, being near you is just intoxicating. Am I terrible?

If yes: I know, I´m just that terrible, gotta cool down. Tell me about.. (make an ask)
If no: Well.. What are we gonna do about this? (proceed escalation, repeat process)

In this example you get the opportunity to read her level of readiness for escalation and can calibrate thereafter. Main point is to let her work through her resistance before it becomes an active objection. Most stimulation techniques can be applied to give you a bigger window of escalation, but if you don´t lean back and calibrate, the shelf life of that escalation is gonna run out.

Hope it helps, didn´t really have much time to expand on certain things.

WD

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

Alright, lots to work with this time. I think up to the point where you guys were getting hot and heavy you were doing fantastic, and she was fully enjoying herself. Sounds like it was mutual and fun, and that´s the way it should be, but after some further advances there was some friction. Again, you were met with an objection, and your response was to plow through it. Sound about right?

Here´s where we can get technical. Firstly, incidental escalation should always precede overt escalation. In this example, going straight for her pants was a mistake. Instead, rubbing against it with your leg, using body pressure, or using your forearm while caressing her thigh etc.

Secondly, realize that escalation is not stimulation. The reason you got the makeout was that you had good game before that point. Backing off from the escalation is the right move. Think of the structure like this:

1. Stimulation = Creating windows of opportunity
2. Calibration = Reading windows of opportunity
3. Escalation = Seizing windows of opportunity

So in this situation, you didn´t read the window correctly, and when you tried to escalate, the window had already closed. More stimulation was needed for this to have been a successful seduction. Escalation is hot and heavy, stimulation is cool as a cucumber. Asks, labels, qualifyers, and disqualifyers are you best bet here, let´s use lebeling as an example:

The escalation is getting more heavy, you lean back a bit, and regain your composure.

You: My god, I´m in such a naughy mood right now, being near you is just intoxicating. Am I terrible?

If yes: I know, I´m just that terrible, gotta cool down. Tell me about.. (make an ask)
If no: Well.. What are we gonna do about this? (proceed escalation, repeat process)

In this example you get the opportunity to read her level of readiness for escalation and can calibrate thereafter. Main point is to let her work through her resistance before it becomes an active objection. Most stimulation techniques can be applied to give you a bigger window of escalation, but if you don´t lean back and calibrate, the shelf life of that escalation is gonna run out.

Hope it helps, didn´t really have much time to expand on certain things.

WD

Thanks WD

hmmm yeah interesting. That could have been it.
We had this convo during the hot makeout her “ I had a date tonight”
Me “ you’re in it”
Her “ no a proper date”
Me “ well aren’t I lucky then” ( or some such)

So I think she cut and ran that night after exactly 2 hrs ( same as date 1) to go meet the other dude for that date .. she left in an UBer so quite possible,

she also said at the end when leaving
Me jokingly “ will I see u again?
Her “ yeah just take me out on a proper f’n date this time!”

i f-d it up texting her 10 mins after “ come back !don’t leave me this way lol” etc
She got real frosty then.

It prob was annoying for her and needy and try hard of me . I just thought I’d chance it if she was still in the area ,horny and on the fence about a fuck w me.

Txting me back “ this isn’t gonna work jim cos u want casual dating with multiple dates (women) and I want a relationship”

the issue to me was she was not DTF that night as I had thought . Not the escalation process per se. It was just a date2 to suss out my place and situation probably.

I’m a broke ass and my sharehouse house is crappy. ( it’s a sharehouse also!)

If she was DTF it would have been fine and she’d let me finger bang her in the kitchen etc no probs .

she may have been DTF in her mind before arriving but prob just assessed my circumstances and it was a turn off.

who knows really. But that’s my thoughts from my experience ( a lot ) w women.

a flash apartment with no flatmate across the hall in his room and it’d probably been a bang no worries for her,

Anyway the update since is I’ve text her again for a date 3 directly sms and on Bumble but she’s gone radio silence.

her bumble chats are going off no doubt as she is very sexy . And my message is way down the bottom now … haha.

ah well. I’ll leave her consider and not disconnect . She may get drunk and horny some night and come looking for Cheeky Jim of her own accord.

meanwhile I’ve banged another at that place ( she came to my house 15 mins of warm up and a bang) she was not qualify tho it was a ‘turn the lights down low ‘situation

Since then moved to a new flash sharehouse and had 1 similar situation with a top notch BJ on the couch and an awesome fuck (s) in the bedroom. ( she used a vibrator to have the big O while she was giving me a sloppy Bill attempting to deep throat me, grunting like an animal when she came).

plus another cute chick i coffeed up the road and took back for a hot pash and a grope on my coach .

online dating is going well for me now ! Happy days.

 

[Brassfaced_Jim]

I just gotta stop doing “ warm ups” and banging mid chicks and not so great chicks between chasing the hotties lol.

I like to keep my dick wet regularly so…

I have a pet theory women can smell the ‘vajajay Juice ‘off me . It seems to attract more of them to me somehow ( for real)

some will say it’s a change in my body language and being more laid back etc that they can see ( they definitely pick up on it 100%)

I theorise it’s pheromones myself .
Women are like Cats to me. Pussies I call them tbh. They can “smell” an active Tom cat when he is in their vicinity.

for sure I believe it’s a scent I’m giving off (!)
LOL.

it’s like a snowball effect getting laid.
Once I lay one pussycat suddenly I can lay 3. And then once I’m laying 3 I can suddenly lay 9.
It’s like a force multiplier or something.

also regular sex keeps the “ Mojo” high.
Paul janka thr NyC playboy wrote some good stuff on thsi “ mojo” .
He wrote in his book/ paper ‘how to get laid in NYC’ that his ‘mojo’ was at its highest after he had just fucked a chick

Very true and I agree 100%
I have noticed this many many times.

they can smell it off me I tells ya !

 

[gameboy]

Txting me back “ this isn’t gonna work jim cos u want casual dating with multiple dates (women) and I want a relationship”

Yet she is the one that just told you she had another date, that very same night?! Jeez the duplicity of some women...