New girlfriend wants to go to a party

[CristianL]

In a relashionship with this chick for like a month, she seems to have high interest (she swallows, cooks, brings me food, pays for some dates). Anyways, she told me that in 2 weeks time she has to go to this dude's birthday party (they are a group of friends since highschool). She said she doesn't want to go but has to because she blew them off a lot of times already(bullshit but whatever). The thing is I think it's very disrespectful towards me and our relashionship and I want to tell her that. Do I say something? How do I say it? Am I overreacting? I feel like she almost wants me to say some shit, that's what I feel. I feel like she wanted to make me jealous somehow eversince we started dating but this I think is disrespectful.. What are your thoughts? Thanks, have a blessed Day!


LE: the thing is, I'm not afraid of her stepping out on me, we see each other 1-2 days a week, if she wants that she doesn't need a party. What fucks with me is that I won't be able to take her seriously after this, the only way she could somewhat redeem herself is if she tells me that she won't go because it's disrespectful. If I don't say anything and she goes or I say something and she doesn't go I still lose respect for her.

 

[Derek da man]

She said she doesn't want to go but has to because she blew them off a lot of times already(bullshit but whatever).

Why are you bothered that she goes without you? Are you not invited as her +1 or are you thinking she isn't serious about you as she isn't introducing you to her friends?

You mention disrespect quite a lot but I can't see how it's disrespectful at the moment - need more info

 

[CristianL]

I don't know, I don't think it's apropriate to go to a dudes house overnight while you're in a relationship. I might be old school, thanks for the reply.

 

[Derek da man]

I don't think you're old school, although maybe we both are!

You didn't say in your post she was staying overnight hence I didn't get where you were coming from. I agree it isn't appropriate. As you say you are dammed if you say something and dammed if you don't.

Maybe she's trying to trigger a conversation about you both being comitted to each other? As you say if she wants to screw around she can do that without a party. If she wanted to she could have gone to his party and not told you anything about it, therefore why is she asking?

 

[CristianL]

yeah, for the peace of my mind I'll tell her that I find this to be disrespectful and she can do whatever the fuck she wants anyway, I'm not sweating this one. I have to speak my mind so I can sleep good at night, I'll be a fucking bitch if I say nothing. I mean this party is an overnight party AND in a different city, like, really?

 

[Derek da man]

Maybe you should ask her how she would feel if you slept at a female friends house overnight.

 

[CristianL]

yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking, she won't like it for sure.

Like "yeah, I'm going to my friends house saturday night, she had a fight with her boyfriend and is afraid to sleep alone, she has a big house." The bitch would die.

 

[DarkKnight]

Tell her she can go if she likes, but you can also do what you like and this will cause you to re-evaluate your relationship. Ofcourse this is disrespectful when people are going to drink and guys grinding on her when she sleeps. Come on man. She knows what she is doing.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Is she going to a party where it is a paid lodge, chalet, cabin?

I recommend asking her if it's overnight. See her reaction. If she is eager to go, you can see her reaction. The loyal ones will meet you at 10pm after the lodge. She will often not get too heaty at the lodge.

This is what i see with many friends, acquaintances throughout the years.

If so, just tell her that she can go.
i'm very ambivalent about this because not letting her go feels unnecessary restriction.

z@c+

 

[CristianL]

@ZacAdam

it's at the dude's house, in a different city, overnight. She said she doesn't want to go but has to because she blew her friends off too many times recently. I just can't remain silent on this one, she can do whatever she wants but I have to speak my mind.

 

[Fuck This]

@ZacAdam

it's at the dude's house, in a different city, overnight. She said she doesn't want to go but has to because she blew her friends off too many times recently. I just can't remain silent on this one, she can do whatever she wants but I have to speak my mind.

She is now demoted to an FB. Cut out the boyfriendy stuff, and schedule a date for when she is gone.

If she really didn't want to go she wouldn't.

This is assuming the guy is not a "sexual nonstarter" a blood family member, an in law, etc.

 

[Roundy]

How long have you been seeing her? I think you’re overreacting. Probably just wants have a good time with her friends. If you frame everything as cheating potential just makes you look paranoid and tells her you’ve been cheated on before (and she’ll start to wonder why) so just keep your cool.

 

[trashKENNUT]

She is now demoted to an FB. Cut out the boyfriendy stuff, and schedule a date for when she is gone.

Right...........

z@c+

 

[CristianL]

This bitch couldn't hide the big fucking grin on her face when I mentioned that, she just used that party to test me, of course she knew it was disrespectful; if I would've said nothing I would've become whipped and she would've gone just to fuck with me even further.

 

[DarkKnight]

So is she going now or not? I wouldnt even mention to her that she is testing or not. Seems as too much effort and it shows you have analyzed her behavior. If you shot her the quick reply I posted above it would have helped you and be law of least effort

 

[CristianL]

no, she's not going; of course I didn't mentioned to her that she is testing; that's basically what I told her, she can go but we won't be more than fuck buddies.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Tell her that you are going to an 'impregnation post pandemic party' in November, and she is not allowed to join.
She will do the cooking. She will do the cleaning *song plays*.

p.s: I'm messing around here. I am just trying to get you to fuck her up abit. XDXD

z@c+

 

[Skjöldr]

She's trying to get a reaction from you. Don't. Just tell her you dislike her going there to sleep at a dude's house and if she says "But i really wanna go" Just say "Ok cool, but now you know" and then move on with your life. If she decides to go anyways, give her a soft next/dread game

 

[Skills]

In a relashionship with this chick for like a month, she seems to have high interest (she swallows, cooks, brings me food, pays for some dates). Anyways, she told me that in 2 weeks time she has to go to this dude's birthday party (they are a group of friends since highschool). She said she doesn't want to go but has to because she blew them off a lot of times already(bullshit but whatever). The thing is I think it's very disrespectful towards me and our relashionship and I want to tell her that. Do I say something? How do I say it? Am I overreacting? I feel like she almost wants me to say some shit, that's what I feel. I feel like she wanted to make me jealous somehow eversince we started dating but this I think is disrespectful.. What are your thoughts? Thanks, have a blessed Day!


LE: the thing is, I'm not afraid of her stepping out on me, we see each other 1-2 days a week, if she wants that she doesn't need a party. What fucks with me is that I won't be able to take her seriously after this, the only way she could somewhat redeem herself is if she tells me that she won't go because it's disrespectful. If I don't say anything and she goes or I say something and she doesn't go I still lose respect for her.

Is this an open or mono relationship?

How long you dated her before promoting to gf?

What are the terms of the relationship?

 

[CristianL]

Most likely she wanted to get a reaction from me, we had a chat and she won't go after all, the 'issue' is resolved. Thanks for all the replies, guys!