No Sex In 5 Years

Jack Swave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
42
Location
USA
Life has been very rough for me these past years. I have gone without sex since 2015 to now and it is driving me crazy. I have not been on the forum for a long time and I honestly at an all time low. For years now women have always seemed to blow me off when I get their number, I rarely got dates and when I did, I only got as far as kissing.

Now that it is COVID I am stuck at home and cannot cold approach... I am going crazy to be honest. To the point I dont even feel like a man anymore. I was wondering is there any first steps I should take to get out of this rut? Do I need to put more details into my question?

How do you handle loneliness?
How to handle not being sexual with a woman in 5 years?

I feel very embarrassed to write this...I dont feel like a man anymore :(
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Hey man sorry your going through a rough patch brother. Been through some hard times myself that have led to prolonged social isolation and involuntary celibacy.

Obviously COVID depending on where you are can be a factor, but care to explain why you weren't able to get girls before COVID?

In detail what the issues were. We're you approaching regularly and just not able to get results? Or were you not taking enough action? Or was there some sort of extraneous life event that caused you to be unable to meet girls?
 

Whiteheart

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 20, 2020
Messages
142
I thought I am the only one in this situation. I am in literally in the same situation, i.e. without sex since 2015. I have done 200-300 approaches since last year but had no luck at all. Mostly run into extremely awkward girls that didn’t give me possibility to reach hook up point, attention seekers, girls that have boyfriends, girls that became cold in the middle of conversation, girls that flaked and I mostly went into friend zoned dates. I am horny 24/7 and don’t know what to do. These days I masturbate more than I should. In normal situation I would pay good prostitute but this covid situation made it difficult. Any advice for Bubinile will be helpful for me too.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
There was a poster named sarge maximus, that we all bet he would never get laid, and even he got laid... So something is fundamentally wrong, maybe a handycap... But there are no details, other than: "i don't think like a man" "women reject me and want attention" and the likes....
 

Jack Swave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
42
Location
USA
Hey dudes!

Sorry I did not give more details before. I did not know what to write. Since @Blackheart can relate to my experience I am going to give a more in depth story because I do not know what is important from what is not. Some details are very personal, its the first time I will be sharing this with anyone...but the only way I am going to get help is to be vulnerable right now.

I am 25 years old right now. I lost my virginity when I was 18 to my 1st girlfriend right before I left high school and she broke things off after we had sex 3 times. She said the sex was horrible. From 18-19 years old I was unemployed. I was so broke I could not even afford to buy food. I come from a very poor family here in Trinidad.

Age 19 - I got a job working in a call center and I still working the job now at 25 years old. Job opportunities are very hard in my country so I earn like $3558 Trinidadian money. That is about $500 USD a month income to give some perspective which is poverty. For the rest of this post, I will refer to the USD to help reading my post easier.

I live with my parents, I have my own room but its small and I grew up in a family where bringing friends over was not allowed. Rents here are so high that if I were to move out into a basic apartment, I would end spending $300 USD minimum just to find a decent apartment. Which would leave me with $200 USD to buy food, pay bills e.t.c.

Money is so scare I could never afford to date girls. I have been trying cold approach from I was 20 years old and I had high hopes when I found Girls Chase. I would cold approach girls in the mall, at the beach, during carnival time, on the streets and girls would sometimes give me their number, I always asked for the date before getting the number. Most times the girls would reject me saying "I have a boyfriend", "I have to go somewhere" etc.

I come from a reserved background and my approach anxiety is very high. Many days and nights I go out to approach girls, I would just walk around the streets. My job working in a call center has been affecting my health. I usually forced on the job to try and talk with an American accent on the phones. I am given 100 calls to take in a 8 hour period for 5 day a week and now my voice is affected because I stutter a lot when I talk to women in my own Trini accent. And that just gets me more nervous.

Because of that I never get a lot of dates or phone numbers and I end up turning off girls on dates. A typical date is Ice cream at a shop, or KFC. And let me just mention that food is very expensive so I end up not being able to even afford simple dates like this most times.

In 2019 I did very little cold approach because I wanted to get my own apartment and my job does not pay enough for me to do that. I have such little sexual experience I dont even know how to pull girls for sex in public areas. This just discouraged me from even trying to date.

I go on a few dates the past 5 years and the girls just never seem to like the experience. And so I never got a 2nd date. This has left me terrified to talk to girls.

My money is very low
My logistics is bad
My confidence is low
My voice is weak

The only good things I have is girls think I am good looking. This is so embarassing to admit, girls from a distance would think I get laid. The moment they talk to me, their interest goes to zero.

It makes me question myself as a man. 5 years without sex? Am I even important, it just feels like no girl wants me. Its been a very rough 5 years, all I could do was masturbate whenever I felt lonely.

I wanted to work on my money because I think that would help elevate my status. To get my apartment and shit in order. I was looking online to find a better job or 2nd job to help pay the bills but that has not worked. I have been looking for more income opportunities since 2016, nothing has come through. I was planning on moving to the US to find opportunity. Out of the $500 USD I earn a month, I end up spending $400 on just basic living expenses. Here is my breakdown

$8 a day on cheap food
$4 a day on light, water, wifi, gas
$3 a day on public tranport for work and gym time
$2 for miscellaneous expenses

= $17 a day (my pay check ends there)

So I am basically broke. When I do go on dates, I have to sacrifice something from my expenses above to end up taking a girl out on a cheap ice cream date or a walk in the park. I avoid movie dates because those are expense and Girls Chase said to avoid those. But you can already see I am struggling from what I wrote above.

Its as if no girl wants to see me for 2nd dates. Some outright reject me. And that makes me more depressed. I have not felt the closeness of a woman for 5 years and I am nervous as hell around them.

Thats my story in a nutshell. I hope someone can show me the right direction.
 

Toby2030

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 1, 2019
Messages
312
When it comes to dates, what you are doing as a date won't matter. The only thing that matters are the emotions you create in her. My go to date here in the summer is meeting up in a nearby park close to my apartment. That's free.

You are obviously not happy with your life at the moment. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What kind of job and which kind of education? Are you looking for a LTR? In which part of the town do you want to live? Set yourself some goals, and break down how to achieve them. You have been stuck in the same situation since you were 19. Do something about it, or accept that your life won't change. Because it won't if you don't take action and push yourself. It's a harsh message but really, your life won't change AT ALL if you don't take action. Kudos for getting on here and taking a step in the right direction.

Everybody have problems with the fundamentals when starting out. It's normal. Force yourself to do 5-10 approaches 3 times a week. When you have done that, write a detailed FR about how you did it, and what you felt went wrong. You will get sparring from more experienced guys than you, which will help you correct your problems. Over a short period of time, approaching random people won't be terrifying, your fundamentals will become solid, and you'll start pulling girls.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
Hey dudes!

Sorry I did not give more details before. I did not know what to write. Since @Blackheart can relate to my experience I am going to give a more in depth story because I do not know what is important from what is not. Some details are very personal, its the first time I will be sharing this with anyone...but the only way I am going to get help is to be vulnerable right now.

I am 25 years old right now. I lost my virginity when I was 18 to my 1st girlfriend right before I left high school and she broke things off after we had sex 3 times. She said the sex was horrible. From 18-19 years old I was unemployed. I was so broke I could not even afford to buy food. I come from a very poor family here in Trinidad.

Age 19 - I got a job working in a call center and I still working the job now at 25 years old. Job opportunities are very hard in my country so I earn like $3558 Trinidadian money. That is about $500 USD a month income to give some perspective which is poverty. For the rest of this post, I will refer to the USD to help reading my post easier.

I live with my parents, I have my own room but its small and I grew up in a family where bringing friends over was not allowed. Rents here are so high that if I were to move out into a basic apartment, I would end spending $300 USD minimum just to find a decent apartment. Which would leave me with $200 USD to buy food, pay bills e.t.c.

Money is so scare I could never afford to date girls. I have been trying cold approach from I was 20 years old and I had high hopes when I found Girls Chase. I would cold approach girls in the mall, at the beach, during carnival time, on the streets and girls would sometimes give me their number, I always asked for the date before getting the number. Most times the girls would reject me saying "I have a boyfriend", "I have to go somewhere" etc.

I come from a reserved background and my approach anxiety is very high. Many days and nights I go out to approach girls, I would just walk around the streets. My job working in a call center has been affecting my health. I usually forced on the job to try and talk with an American accent on the phones. I am given 100 calls to take in a 8 hour period for 5 day a week and now my voice is affected because I stutter a lot when I talk to women in my own Trini accent. And that just gets me more nervous.

Because of that I never get a lot of dates or phone numbers and I end up turning off girls on dates. A typical date is Ice cream at a shop, or KFC. And let me just mention that food is very expensive so I end up not being able to even afford simple dates like this most times.

In 2019 I did very little cold approach because I wanted to get my own apartment and my job does not pay enough for me to do that. I have such little sexual experience I dont even know how to pull girls for sex in public areas. This just discouraged me from even trying to date.

I go on a few dates the past 5 years and the girls just never seem to like the experience. And so I never got a 2nd date. This has left me terrified to talk to girls.

My money is very low
My logistics is bad
My confidence is low
My voice is weak

The only good things I have is girls think I am good looking. This is so embarassing to admit, girls from a distance would think I get laid. The moment they talk to me, their interest goes to zero.

It makes me question myself as a man. 5 years without sex? Am I even important, it just feels like no girl wants me. Its been a very rough 5 years, all I could do was masturbate whenever I felt lonely.

I wanted to work on my money because I think that would help elevate my status. To get my apartment and shit in order. I was looking online to find a better job or 2nd job to help pay the bills but that has not worked. I have been looking for more income opportunities since 2016, nothing has come through. I was planning on moving to the US to find opportunity. Out of the $500 USD I earn a month, I end up spending $400 on just basic living expenses. Here is my breakdown

$8 a day on cheap food
$4 a day on light, water, wifi, gas
$3 a day on public tranport for work and gym time
$2 for miscellaneous expenses

= $17 a day (my pay check ends there)

So I am basically broke. When I do go on dates, I have to sacrifice something from my expenses above to end up taking a girl out on a cheap ice cream date or a walk in the park. I avoid movie dates because those are expense and Girls Chase said to avoid those. But you can already see I am struggling from what I wrote above.

Its as if no girl wants to see me for 2nd dates. Some outright reject me. And that makes me more depressed. I have not felt the closeness of a woman for 5 years and I am nervous as hell around them.

Thats my story in a nutshell. I hope someone can show me the right direction.

This is so interesting cause I come and know people from 3rd world countries, i lived in a 3rd world country part of my life, and at 25 a lot of the girls that are in your same situation don't really care, and as you know in 3rd world countries a lot of people live and are expected to live with parents to old age....

So logistics and money in a 3rd world country should not be an issue, taking girls for movies, is a huge mistakes even if you were a multimillionare... So your fundamentals are more important than anything, you need to read a basic 101 seduction book, or something, specially if women think you are good looking....

Why don't you do a journal and start doing the newbie challenges... watch this video

at 25 i was in similar situations like you and getting laid like crazy in usa btw....

 

Jack Swave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
42
Location
USA
When it comes to dates, what you are doing as a date won't matter. The only thing that matters are the emotions you create in her. My go to date here in the summer is meeting up in a nearby park close to my apartment. That's free.

You are obviously not happy with your life at the moment. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What kind of job and which kind of education? Are you looking for a LTR? In which part of the town do you want to live? Set yourself some goals, and break down how to achieve them. You have been stuck in the same situation since you were 19. Do something about it, or accept that your life won't change. Because it won't if you don't take action and push yourself. It's a harsh message but really, your life won't change AT ALL if you don't take action. Kudos for getting on here and taking a step in the right direction.

Everybody have problems with the fundamentals when starting out. It's normal. Force yourself to do 5-10 approaches 3 times a week. When you have done that, write a detailed FR about how you did it, and what you felt went wrong. You will get sparring from more experienced guys than you, which will help you correct your problems. Over a short period of time, approaching random people won't be terrifying, your fundamentals will become solid, and you'll start pulling girls.

Dude!

Yeah thanks man, I will get some field reports up as soon as I can cold approach again. In the meantime how can I fix my voice problems? My voice is stressful and is damaging my voice. I purposely left out some very sensitive info which I will reveal now. There are days when I leave work, my voice is so sore from talking to so many strangers on the phone, I end up very depressed. My boss pushes me to talk so much and meet strict call times that sometimes my mouth bleeds, I went to the bathroom last week to cough up some blood. I did not want to say it here. But there is the facts.

I just am not cut out to be working in a call center where i shout all day long to get my message across and have strangers disrespect me for the companys policies. Customers calling me "cunt", "pussy", "motherfucker". And all sorts of things like "you speak the worse english I ever heard". This does serious damage to my self confidence.

And affects me deeply when I go to interact with women.

This is so interesting cause I come and know people from 3rd world countries, i lived in a 3rd world country part of my life, and at 25 a lot of the girls that are in your same situation don't really care, and as you know in 3rd world countries a lot of people live and are expected to live with parents to old age....

So logistics and money in a 3rd world country should not be an issue, taking girls for movies, is a huge mistakes even if you were a multimillionare... So your fundamentals are more important than anything, you need to read a basic 101 seduction book, or something, specially if women think you are good looking....

Why don't you do a journal and start doing the newbie challenges... watch this video

at 25 i was in similar situations like you and getting laid like crazy in usa btw....


Dude!

I appreciate the newbie video and I will start a journal. What I dont get is why you said "at 25 i was in similar situations like you and getting laid like crazy in usa btw....".

I know you are trying to help me out. The thing is, if life were that easy for me, I would not have spent 5 years without sex. Its embarassing which makes me feel so beta.

2 weeks ago I got sick and I had to run a $120 USD doctor visit and medication on my credit card which I am struggling to pay back because I dont earn enough. I dont even know how I can start dating with such bum ass finances. I can barely feed myself. I can barely afford new clothes. I dont know where exactly to start.

It feels like I am running out of time. All the alpha men are fucking all the girls, a lot of them are getting pregnant and settling down with boyfriends. And here I am struggling to talk to women because of my voice issues and self confidence.

It pains me to even talk about it
 

Mr STIF

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
150
Dude!

Yeah thanks man, I will get some field reports up as soon as I can cold approach again. In the meantime how can I fix my voice problems? My voice is stressful and is damaging my voice. I purposely left out some very sensitive info which I will reveal now. There are days when I leave work, my voice is so sore from talking to so many strangers on the phone, I end up very depressed. My boss pushes me to talk so much and meet strict call times that sometimes my mouth bleeds, I went to the bathroom last week to cough up some blood. I did not want to say it here. But there is the facts.

I just am not cut out to be working in a call center where i shout all day long to get my message across and have strangers disrespect me for the companys policies. Customers calling me "cunt", "pussy", "motherfucker". And all sorts of things like "you speak the worse english I ever heard". This does serious damage to my self confidence.

And affects me deeply when I go to interact with women.



Dude!

I appreciate the newbie video and I will start a journal. What I dont get is why you said "at 25 i was in similar situations like you and getting laid like crazy in usa btw....".

I know you are trying to help me out. The thing is, if life were that easy for me, I would not have spent 5 years without sex. Its embarassing which makes me feel so beta.

2 weeks ago I got sick and I had to run a $120 USD doctor visit and medication on my credit card which I am struggling to pay back because I dont earn enough. I dont even know how I can start dating with such bum ass finances. I can barely feed myself. I can barely afford new clothes. I dont know where exactly to start.

It feels like I am running out of time. All the alpha men are fucking all the girls, a lot of them are getting pregnant and settling down with boyfriends. And here I am struggling to talk to women because of my voice issues and self confidence.

It pains me to even talk about it
I currently live in a Third World country. I work in my dad's shop, I live in his house.

I love my parents but hate doing the jobs they do, I have no other source of income but what I can save from the shop, which isn't that much as saving and extravagant spending might ruin the capital.

I'm currently saving to buy one Ethereum and watch it grow. I'd also love to be advanced in seduction and teach it online with the help of my not-so-honed digital marketing skills.

If you ask me I'm not happy with my situation but I still practice cold approach but no where to isolate these chicks to. It has to either be your house or a hotel room.

I took a computer program 2018 and met this guy who at least has an idea of what pick up is: he knows gc, sosuave e.t.c but just from receiving newsletters on his email. He doesn't practice. I sold him the idea of starting a pick up company, he's into digital marketing and sees the benefits.

We've been off and on since that year but we are currently planning on becoming roommates to help our goal. Once we rent the place, I plan on spending two weeks of Every month perfecting my seduction process and digital marketing skills. Then the next two weeks working with my Father.

Once, I start experiencing some income flow from digital marketing and pickup or I start getting reliable income-- I'll stop doing what I hate and focus my energy on what I love.

Anytime I feel bored or over worked I get on a bus and head to somewhere far from home that is crowded. I practice until I get tired and leave, back to my boring life of being a salesman.

But it's all good that I'm racking up those cold approach experiences so that when I start to have my own money my developed personality start to seem congruent to that of someone that is really high value.

Besides I love cold approaches, now. I don't even do it because I want to get laid. For now: I do it to have the experience so that when the money comes and logistics is handled, dates are handled then my communication skills won't be an obstacle in my seduction process.

Cheers!
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
So @Bubinile

You have 2 seperate problems that you're mixing up as one problem.

You have a girls problem, and you also have a money/career problem. They are two separate issues.

As Skills points out a skilled seducer could be put in your situation financially and still get sex and a girlfriend despite being poor and down n out.

You don't need money to be able to succeed with women. I know guys in the US who have gotten girls and sex living at home with their parents (where living with your parents is looked down upon).


Your main issue with girls seems to be a combination of internal issues (lack confidence and self-esteem) and external issues (poor execution and bad vibe/fundamentals).

I would cold approach girls in the mall, at the beach, during carnival time, on the streets and girls would sometimes give me their number, I always asked for the date before getting the number. Most times the girls would reject me saying "I have a boyfriend", "I have to go somewhere" etc.

Nice job man. This is common with beginners, don't give up so easy because you're not getting results --> Instead figure out why you're running into these common sticking points and work to improve your skillset until you're able to take girls on instant dates and build attraction so girls stop giving you lame excuses to get you to leave them alone.

This isn't a reflection of YOU but how you're presenting yourself. The fix is learning how to present yourself better to girls so they see you as attractive.

As DML said it's all about how you make girls feel that determines if they want to stick around.

What you'll want to do to fix this is get back out, start meeting women again, and posting regular journal and field reports to analyze where things are going wrong and get feedback from guys on how to improve.

Also you'll need to be working on your inner self confidence/esteem at the same time. Ideally you should be at the point where you feel totally comfortable and at ease being broke and living at your parents.. this should not impact your seduction abilities.

I wanted to work on my money because I think that would help elevate my status. To get my apartment and shit in order. I was looking online to find a better job or 2nd job to help pay the bills but that has not worked. I have been looking for more income opportunities since 2016, nothing has come through.

Now to problem #2 the financial career issue... yeah man it sounds like you're stuck in a real rut here.

The way I look at finances is it all comes down to skills. What skills do you have (or can develop) that are valuable to other businesses or people?

If you have internet you can teach yourself a multitude of digital based skills for free on the side until you get proficient and are able to start making money. Living in a 3rd world country you might have to get creative and determined to break out of poverty but there is a way.

Like dude I attended a free seminar recently on how to make money for free building FaceBook groups and selling them stuff based around their interests.

Like you could spend a year learning something like that (or whatever type of skill / hustle that interests you) and double your income from your stupid call center job.

I agree with the other posters you need to get some goals and start hacking your way out of this pit of despair and start dreaming again.

A good book you should read is The Travelers Gift by Andy Andrews - if you dont have the $$ at least read the scrolls outlining the 7 decisions: https://www.andyandrews.com/downloads/print/AA_SevenDecisions.pdf

It sounds like your in good health and have the capacity to succeed, need to get a gameplan and start executing on it!

We'll be here to help you along the way
 

Jack Swave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
42
Location
USA
I am definitely In a rut @Mr.Rob

I am so broke, I am in debt from having to rely on credit cards to supplement where my income does not help. I honestly dont know where to start. I have tried for so long to be better with no results.

I did not want to mention a very sensitive topic earlier because I am not sure of all the Girls Chase rules...but I really hope someone is listening. I am at such a low point in life, I sometimes think of suicide :(

I tried going to counselling and all they tell me is "just be yourself", "no need to change yourself. if girls dont like you for who you are, just move on". And I heard a lot of unhelpful B.S. from counsellors.

I am struggling with just normal living expenses that its doing serious damage to my self confidence. And that is just a spiral down into me not being confident with girls. I cannot even afford to date. Girls say I am cute but I am just struggling so much I dont even know where to turn. Girls just ignore me when I ask them out on dates. And that is even more destroying my confidence.

I honestly dont know how much longer I can hold out with this stressful job and being sex deprived :(
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
@Bubinile

Sounds like your understandably stressed. Can't blame you for that.

But the one thing that's guaranteed is if you don't change anything your going to keep getting the same shitty results.

You're in an extreme situation, if you want to get out of your rut it's going to require an equally extreme change in behavior.

If you want radical results, it requires radical behavior.

Were you listening to the suggestions I and the rest of the guys laid out?

We gave you some great advice to consider on the girls situation.. And I gave you an idea on the career side of things.

I told you I've been in been messed up life situations as well.. but I saw that if I didn't step up to the plate and make some radical changes in my life I was going to be toast, ... You're going to have to step up and rise to the occasion to pull yourself out of this mess.

It's not going to be easy but it is possible.
 

Velasco

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
1,059
I am given 100 calls to take in a 8 hour period for 5 day a week
I am struggling to pay back because I dont earn enough. I dont even know how I can start dating with such bum ass finances. I can barely feed myself. I can barely afford new clothes.
Stop spending money on dates. Save that money to buy yourself a couple of good going out clothes instead.

-> Inspiration

Once covid clears up (could be a while), start going to the rich area of where you live. Go out weekend nights only (i highlighted the part where you mentioned you work 5 days a week. So going out weekends gives your voice a chance to recover from that workload VS daygaming immediately after leaving work) at last half of night (if clubs open from 11PM - 4AM, go at 2AM (not much game is needed here. As the majority of girls remaining are pretty tipsy at this point. All you need is high energy, so I'd recommend having a drink or two before walking into the club (obviously way cheaper than getting them AT the club) to help you as you approach girls to build social momentum. Paying attention to what girls are DTF.

Why? Rich area clubs/bars attracts rich women (target just the 24-35 year old women for now. Because odds are high they live alone or with a roommate that has her own room) Where they are in an environment looking for sexy good looking guys (regardless if those guys are rich or not). Dancefloor game is great for guys who have a shit voice/accent. I know the guy above, Skills, used to have a really bad latin accent, so this way he avoided getting dismissed on his voice. And judged on his fundamentals (face, height, physique, style, body language), dancing skills, and nonverbals (eye contact, touch, kissing). After picking her up, bring her back to her place. Bang. Then stay over and build an emotional connection with her. You will have to talk here. But it will be so much easier doing it now VS before banging her, because you have female backwards rationalization riding on your side. Meaning she will be more willing to have a deeper conversation with you because she banged you.


(Skip to "Stuff that (almost) always works" in that article, and do everything in that section).

And then you'll want to keep going to her place once a week or 2 weeks, to bang. And have her cook you meals. To make it seem like shes doing you this favor as a means of ultimately winning you over to be her boyfriend. Do not reveal what you do for a living. Because that'll just kill her motivation to want to make you her boyfriend (hence not put all this effort to want to keep seeing you). Keep it vague.

Good luck.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
Stop spending money on dates. Save that money to buy yourself a couple of good going out clothes instead.

-> Inspiration

Once covid clears up (could be a while), start going to the rich area of where you live. Go out weekend nights only (i highlighted the part where you mentioned you work 5 days a week. So going out weekends gives your voice a chance to recover from that workload VS daygaming immediately after leaving work) at last half of night (if clubs open from 11PM - 4AM, go at 2AM (not much game is needed here. As the majority of girls remaining are pretty tipsy at this point. All you need is high energy, so I'd recommend having a drink or two before walking into the club (obviously way cheaper than getting them AT the club) to help you as you approach girls to build social momentum. Paying attention to what girls are DTF.

Why? Rich area clubs/bars attracts rich women (target just the 24-35 year old women for now. Because odds are high they live alone or with a roommate that has her own room) Where they are in an environment looking for sexy good looking guys (regardless if those guys are rich or not). Dancefloor game is great for guys who have a shit voice/accent. I know the guy above, Skills, used to have a really bad latin accent, so this way he avoided getting dismissed on his voice. And judged on his fundamentals (face, height, physique, style, body language), dancing skills, and nonverbals (eye contact, touch, kissing). After picking her up, bring her back to her place. Bang. Then stay over and build an emotional connection with her. You will have to talk here. But it will be so much easier doing it now VS before banging her, because you have female backwards rationalization riding on your side. Meaning she will be more willing to have a deeper conversation with you because she banged you.


(Skip to "Stuff that (almost) always works" in that article, and do everything in that section).

And then you'll want to keep going to her place once a week or 2 weeks, to bang. And have her cook you meals. To make it seem like shes doing you this favor as a means of ultimately winning you over to be her boyfriend. Do not reveal what you do for a living. Because that'll just kill her motivation to want to make you her boyfriend (hence not put all this effort to want to keep seeing you). Keep it vague.

Good luck.
Just lol at "used to"
 

Jack Swave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
42
Location
USA
@Skills

I hope my last post reply did not come off as dismissive to your advice. I do appreciate you chimming in to help. I am only frustrated I have not been able to get laid with my current situation at 25. Good for you to have gotten laid quite a lot before you were my age :)

I currently live in a Third World country. I work in my dad's shop, I live in his house.

I love my parents but hate doing the jobs they do, I have no other source of income but what I can save from the shop, which isn't that much as saving and extravagant spending might ruin the capital.

I'm currently saving to buy one Ethereum and watch it grow. I'd also love to be advanced in seduction and teach it online with the help of my not-so-honed digital marketing skills.

If you ask me I'm not happy with my situation but I still practice cold approach but no where to isolate these chicks to. It has to either be your house or a hotel room.

I took a computer program 2018 and met this guy who at least has an idea of what pick up is: he knows gc, sosuave e.t.c but just from receiving newsletters on his email. He doesn't practice. I sold him the idea of starting a pick up company, he's into digital marketing and sees the benefits.

We've been off and on since that year but we are currently planning on becoming roommates to help our goal. Once we rent the place, I plan on spending two weeks of Every month perfecting my seduction process and digital marketing skills. Then the next two weeks working with my Father.

Once, I start experiencing some income flow from digital marketing and pickup or I start getting reliable income-- I'll stop doing what I hate and focus my energy on what I love.

Anytime I feel bored or over worked I get on a bus and head to somewhere far from home that is crowded. I practice until I get tired and leave, back to my boring life of being a salesman.

But it's all good that I'm racking up those cold approach experiences so that when I start to have my own money my developed personality start to seem congruent to that of someone that is really high value.

Besides I love cold approaches, now. I don't even do it because I want to get laid. For now: I do it to have the experience so that when the money comes and logistics is handled, dates are handled then my communication skills won't be an obstacle in my seduction process.

Cheers!

Ethereum, I think that is something similar to Bitcoin. I heard about that it was very hot back in 2018. I am not sure where it stands right now. I did play around with cryptocurrency before it crashed, I did not really get involved because it was too expensive for my job income. But I do want to learn more and buy it in the future if it makes sense then. Do keep me and the others updated if it works for you. Thanks for also sharing your story.

@Bubinile

Sounds like your understandably stressed. Can't blame you for that.

But the one thing that's guaranteed is if you don't change anything your going to keep getting the same shitty results.

You're in an extreme situation, if you want to get out of your rut it's going to require an equally extreme change in behavior.

If you want radical results, it requires radical behavior.

Were you listening to the suggestions I and the rest of the guys laid out?

We gave you some great advice to consider on the girls situation.. And I gave you an idea on the career side of things.

I told you I've been in been messed up life situations as well.. but I saw that if I didn't step up to the plate and make some radical changes in my life I was going to be toast, ... You're going to have to step up and rise to the occasion to pull yourself out of this mess.

It's not going to be easy but it is possible.

Yes I read the advice above and I downloaded the PDF book you sent. Thanks for that. Guys sorry for all the negativity I poured out into this post. I have no one else to tell it to and I my lid was so full for not having voice for so many years. I do hope to get laid soon and get back my manly power. I am going to have to figure out a game plan by posting more so I can see where I am going wrong.

Stop spending money on dates. Save that money to buy yourself a couple of good going out clothes instead.

-> Inspiration

Once covid clears up (could be a while), start going to the rich area of where you live. Go out weekend nights only (i highlighted the part where you mentioned you work 5 days a week. So going out weekends gives your voice a chance to recover from that workload VS daygaming immediately after leaving work) at last half of night (if clubs open from 11PM - 4AM, go at 2AM (not much game is needed here. As the majority of girls remaining are pretty tipsy at this point. All you need is high energy, so I'd recommend having a drink or two before walking into the club (obviously way cheaper than getting them AT the club) to help you as you approach girls to build social momentum. Paying attention to what girls are DTF.

Why? Rich area clubs/bars attracts rich women (target just the 24-35 year old women for now. Because odds are high they live alone or with a roommate that has her own room) Where they are in an environment looking for sexy good looking guys (regardless if those guys are rich or not). Dancefloor game is great for guys who have a shit voice/accent. I know the guy above, Skills, used to have a really bad latin accent, so this way he avoided getting dismissed on his voice. And judged on his fundamentals (face, height, physique, style, body language), dancing skills, and nonverbals (eye contact, touch, kissing). After picking her up, bring her back to her place. Bang. Then stay over and build an emotional connection with her. You will have to talk here. But it will be so much easier doing it now VS before banging her, because you have female backwards rationalization riding on your side. Meaning she will be more willing to have a deeper conversation with you because she banged you.


(Skip to "Stuff that (almost) always works" in that article, and do everything in that section).

And then you'll want to keep going to her place once a week or 2 weeks, to bang. And have her cook you meals. To make it seem like shes doing you this favor as a means of ultimately winning you over to be her boyfriend. Do not reveal what you do for a living. Because that'll just kill her motivation to want to make you her boyfriend (hence not put all this effort to want to keep seeing you). Keep it vague.

Good luck.

Sound plan! I like that. I will stop by the clubs in the uptown part of my country and find out the entry fees. I Googled a club in my area and to just walk in is $40 USD, which is way ahead of my salary. I would have to work 4 days, and skip on other expenses just to find that entrance fee to enter a club. So I may have to find one that is either free where I go in and pay for drinks (I hope those arent expensive either or else I will just drink before arriving. I can get cheap liquor at the drug stores).

Clubs are closed at the moment due to the COVID so I understand why you say save up my money and get nice clothes in the meantime. I think Chase has an article on how to go back to a girls place. I'd have to Google and see if can find it. Like I mentioned before I have approach anxiety and from not being with a woman for 5 years, I dont even know how to act once I go to her apartment, assuming I get that far. I will take it one step at a time

P.s. I live with my family who has a building in the same lot as other buildings. All of which share the same water bill. Despite me struggling with living costs, I was constantly paying my water bill and yesterday I came to got off work I discovered the water company came to the property and disconnected all the water from the entire buildings because my family and the neighbors were not paying their bill all throughout COVID.

Thats why it took me so long to reply. I go through shit like this in my family all the time. Sometimes they even forget to pay the electric bill and I end up in darkness for days on end until they find the money to pay their part of the bill.

This is just fueling my depression even more. Because now it seems like I should be focusing on making more money instead of going after girls. But I am horny and depressed at the same time.
 
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Velasco

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
1,059
I Googled a club in my area and to just walk in is $40 USD, which is way ahead of my salary. I would have to work 4 days, and skip on other expenses just to find that entrance fee to enter a club.
Find the ones with free entry (or under $10). When I said "clubs" I meant bars with dancefloors in them (not those overpriced mainstream clubs) Which are usually free entry. Walk around the area and see what looks good (are the girls standing in line hot? Get in line and ask the person in front of you, "hey is there a cover?" Again if it's under $10, then give it a look inside and see if you like the layout of the bar).
I dont even know how to act once I go to her apartment, assuming I get that far.
Check out My lay reports thread. Either the girl will just be down and you can escalate as soon as you get in her bedroom. Or you will feel like if you were to escalate on her right away, there would be resistance. If you feel its the later, like it's not totally down. Then focus on making her feel comfortable. Then turn her on via sex talk. Once you see her looking at you sexually, if when you start escalating on her. So she wont resist your escalation attempts. Let me just preempt this by saying, you will fuck this up many times. And will lose maybe a bunch of easy lay up lays. But understand that this is totally normal. We've all been there. If she says "NO" (a very serious NO) then please stop.
Because now it seems like I should be focusing on making more money instead of going after girls. But I am horny and depressed at the same time
We now have an actionable plan in place. So we can forget about women and dates for now. And put our full attention on using that saved money, towards getting an apartment. And a few clothing pieces for when clubs/bars open up again. I dont know about finding a job that pays better in your area. So hopefully others can chime in on that part.
 

Mr.Rob

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
Yes I read the advice above and I downloaded the PDF book you sent. Thanks for that. Guys sorry for all the negativity I poured out into this post. I have no one else to tell it to and I my lid was so full for not having voice for so many years. I do hope to get laid soon and get back my manly power. I am going to have to figure out a game plan by posting more so I can see where I am going wrong.

Yeah understandable man, you've been grinded down by life a bit and can understand a bit of venting no worries. What I'm more worried about is that you're going to get mad and fired up that your life sucks, take responsibility for your situation, and then make some big time herculean changes to get out of this rut.

Sounds like you're thinking along those lines tho, so well done.

This is just fueling my depression even more. Because now it seems like I should be focusing on making more money instead of going after girls. But I am horny and depressed at the same time.

You should be doing both, tho you may want to prioritize one over the other.

If you have access to internet and a computer I'd strongly recommend you learn a monetizable digital skill (or do sales if you're decent at talking to ppl... tho you may need close to perfect english w/out a strong accent if you want to get hired by an american company), and work to replace your income working online. I mean it wouldn't be too hard to double your income from $500/month to $1,000/month if you were able to freelance or get hired by a 1st world company... though to do that you'll have to build a skillset first in your spare time.

These are going to be things such as: social media, copywriting, computer programming, graphic design, etc. Tho since you literally have no money to spare you may want to go with something that you can literally learn and get good at for free (writing or social media come to mind).

Nat Eliason has some good guides on his site about this:

Also maybe you can get creative locally and find a better job or use your sales/phone skills to land something better... or do something entreprenuerial.

I mean it's tough, you're gonna have to get creative.
 

POB

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 13, 2019
Messages
984
Location
South America
If you have a PC and internet connection, you can start making money RIGHT NOW.
Some ideas to get you out of your bad financial situation without having to start a business today...

ask for charitable money:
I'm dead serious!!! Just come up with the basic value you need to get to a better place ASAP and ask people on the internet to support you. Promise them you'll reward each and everyone with a personal thanks once you are better off (and keep that promise please).
- gofundme.com
- gogetfunding.com
- fundrazr.com
- fundly.com
- justgiving.com
- plumfund.com

offer your knowledge to work for others:
you probably have some skills...just use them for those who need! Remember that people don't care about diplomas or titles...they care about getting the job done fast and cheap. Here is an article to help you get started.
- www.ryrob.com

These are the basic two, but I'm sure there are other alternatives till you figure out a business. Keep us posted on your progress!
 
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Jack Swave

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
42
Location
USA
Find the ones with free entry (or under $10). When I said "clubs" I meant bars with dancefloors in them (not those overpriced mainstream clubs) Which are usually free entry. Walk around the area and see what looks good (are the girls standing in line hot? Get in line and ask the person in front of you, "hey is there a cover?" Again if it's under $10, then give it a look inside and see if you like the layout of the bar).

Ok yeah I can do that. Definitely once those bars reopen I will take a look and then make a field report.

Check out My lay reports thread. Either the girl will just be down and you can escalate as soon as you get in her bedroom. Or you will feel like if you were to escalate on her right away, there would be resistance. If you feel its the later, like it's not totally down. Then focus on making her feel comfortable. Then turn her on via sex talk. Once you see her looking at you sexually, if when you start escalating on her. So she wont resist your escalation attempts. Let me just preempt this by saying, you will fuck this up many times. And will lose maybe a bunch of easy lay up lays. But understand that this is totally normal. We've all been there. If she says "NO" (a very serious NO) then please stop.

I read your lay reports, those are pretty cool and inspiring. I wish to get there soon and do good like you are :)

We now have an actionable plan in place. So we can forget about women and dates for now. And put our full attention on using that saved money, towards getting an apartment. And a few clothing pieces for when clubs/bars open up again. I dont know about finding a job that pays better in your area. So hopefully others can chime in on that part.

I agree because of all the trouble I experience at home, I need an apartment. I will start saving what I can.

Yeah understandable man, you've been grinded down by life a bit and can understand a bit of venting no worries. What I'm more worried about is that you're going to get mad and fired up that your life sucks, take responsibility for your situation, and then make some big time herculean changes to get out of this rut.

Sounds like you're thinking along those lines tho, so well done.

To be honest, I am both angry and sad at the same time for how my life has turned out so far. And because I came here for help, I know you guys are doing your best to help so that is the most comforting that I have a shot at turning my life around.

If you have access to internet and a computer I'd strongly recommend you learn a monetizable digital skill (or do sales if you're decent at talking to ppl... tho you may need close to perfect english w/out a strong accent if you want to get hired by an american company), and work to replace your income working online. I mean it wouldn't be too hard to double your income from $500/month to $1,000/month if you were able to freelance or get hired by a 1st world company... though to do that you'll have to build a skillset first in your spare time.

These are going to be things such as: social media, copywriting, computer programming, graphic design, etc. Tho since you literally have no money to spare you may want to go with something that you can literally learn and get good at for free (writing or social media come to mind).
.

Its cool you mentioned that. I typed into Google tonight "how to do copywriting" and I found a few websites which interest me so I signed up for a few upcoming webinar meetings and I bookmarked a book on Amazon which talks about how to write ad copy. I have always been more of an introvert and so writing is something I enjoy doing in my leisure time. The $1,000 a month would do me very well right now. I could get a decent apartment here in Trinidad for $400 a month and then use the other $600 for other life esxpenses. I will get moving on that.

If you have a PC and internet connection, you can start making money RIGHT NOW.
Some ideas to get you out of your bad financial situation without having to start a business today...

ask for charitable money:
I'm dead serious!!! Just come up with the basic value you need to get to a better place ASAP and ask people on the internet to support you. Promise them you'll reward each and everyone with a personal thanks once you are better off (and keep that promise please).
- gofundme.com
- gogetfunding.com
- fundrazr.com
- fundly.com
- justgiving.com
- plumfund.com

offer your knowledge to work for others:
you probably have some skills...just use them for those who need! Remember that people don't care about diplomas or titles...they care about getting the job done fast and cheap. Here is an article to help you get started.
- www.ryrob.com

These are the basic two, but I'm sure there are other alternatives till you figure out a business. Keep us posted on your progress!

I am not sure what skills I have, as in how good. I would have to sit down more and really think how good my job skills are and how I can monetize that on the internet. Luckily I have a Windows PC I bought back in 2016, I saved up my money and got a laptop for $400 USD. The battery has gone bad, but its plugged in like a regular desktop computer and it works really good still.. I am typing this on it now.

I never thought about asking people for money. Thats a great idea. Ok I will sign up for those pages and ask people to help me. I promise to give a personal thanks to everyone who helps me. I have been betrayed and hurt in the past so I would never do this to anyone.
 

Mike Silvertree

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
296
Location
A long time ago
Five years in a call center, you must be super human. My wife did that one summer when she was young, and still says it was the worst job she ever had. If nothing else, you must have an armor plated psyche by now. Any other job is going to seem easy. At least people won't be yelling at you and calling you names all day.

I looked it up. Trinidad is one of the richest island nations in the Caribbean. There has to better jobs available than a call center. If nothing else, five years of that has given you a lot of experience interacting with people and a thick skin. But you need to find something better to work at. I see two possible courses.

Here, in the US, we have what are called community colleges, but they may be called trade schools elsewhere. They offer job training and certification and degrees in anywhere from 6 months to 2 years depending on the field of work, and cost a lot less than any regular college. I went to one a long time ago, learned computer programming, and had a well paid career because of it. I had been working crap jobs before that. There may be government programs to help you go to school, you won't know until you look. The school has people paid to help students get financial aid. The school I went to also had a "Work Study" program that allowed students to have part time jobs at the school that ranged from janitor and cafeteria jobs to tutoring students if you were skilled in some subject. The school I went to trained skilled tradesmen, white collar workers with degrees in accounting, management, and computers, and medical and dental technicians.

If that is not a viable option, get a job where rich people spend money. I highly recommend a car dealership. I worked at four as a young man. The entry level job is washing cars, which they need a lot of. The dealer I take my car to washes it free every time I take it there, even if I just get an oil change or need a light bulb replaced. They have two guys who just do that all day long. it pays better than a call center and there is a strong possibility of advancement. Good hard workers are hard to find and if you can reliably wash cars and show up on time ready to work each and every day, you will get promoted. A car dealership is a river of money, needs a lot of different skills, and will train you if you are reliable and smart. Restaurants for rich people are another place to make money. Again, you will likely wash dishes at first, but it is lower stress than what you are doing, and again, good workers are hard to find, and they can and will train you to do higher paid work if you are reliable.

What you are doing is not working for you. You are in a rut and depressed, and I don't blame you. Most people would have given up on life a few years back. You need to look for a new path in life. You have no idea what is possible until you take a look.
 
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