(Not exactly a "Rookie") At my wit's end. I need to f***ing solve this before I am powerless to stop it from crumbling my self-esteem

Junior22

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Sep 23, 2017
Messages
3
I'm someone who-- like pretty much all of you-- loves women. I love it when they put time into their appearance, making themselves sexy AF. I like how supportive they can be, and how cute and shy they get when you flatter them... I love almost everything about women.

But my godforsaken problem is this: there is an almost supernatural level of talent involved in how I manage to make any woman that's into me, or that I'm into, run away from me.


In my childhood... back when I wasn't even sexually interested in women yet, I wanted to kiss the cute girls and have them tell me they have a crush on me. Well, I definitely did not get to experience that as I was the weirdest, most ostracised kid in the grade. But even then, there was this one girl who really liked me for a LONG time but I didn't find her attractive, but I was an absolute TOSSER to her, eventually driving her far away by the time 7th grade rolled around.


Same thing happened 6 times by the time I finished high school. And all of them cute too. I would kind of keep them away because I could not understand how anyone could like me. 4 of them I did go out on dates with and kiss but after a certain point I literally ghosted them, because I thought that my charm would wear off and I subconsciously felt that I wouldn't be able to handle that level of rejection if that happened. I still feel like an idiot because of it, but now I kind of understand that the lack of positive attention and "love" given to me at the time made me unused to the really positive attention and love given to me on rare occasions.

I started very early trying to find knowledge on how to win a woman's affections. I read the Art of Seduction for the first time at 12, read The Game, Rules of the Game, the Mystery Method and even Richard La Ruina's The Natural by 14. I tried but definitely could NOT truly apply the lessons learned from these books at that age, but I tried where I could. Goddammit I tried. Started cold-approaching women at 13 years old. Then I discovered Girls Chase at 15. This was back in 2017 (you can see that I last posted then). I had not even been on a date at that point.

I'm not necessarily looking for technical know-how, because that stuff just makes me overthink at this point. But I'd appreciate your advice.

Stuff has happened since then, and I won't really get into it because it's a lot of stuff-- mostly spectacular rejections. I've learned a myriad of ways of how NOT to get a woman...and I still learn new ways of screwing up everyday. I'm almost a pro at this point.


But now I've arrived at a fairly ridiculous point now. I have now discovered that I'm considered attractive-- by a lot of beautiful women. I'm a second-year in university right now, and this is supposed to be the easiest run of your life. Well, I have found success with exactly... NONE of these women. Have you ever had a woman at a PARTY tell you word for word that you're beautiful. Not "cute", not "handsome"... "BEAUTIFUL". And then still screw this seduction equivalent of a layup and watch in (I'll be honest) sadness as she makes out and subsequently goes home with some other guy. Most of the guys who I know and have seen pull multiple incredibly good-looking women look at me and greet me at first glance like I'm their king.
And I feel like a goddamned idiot knowing that I have a horrible, seemingly unceasing, rap with women.

I've also experienced TWICE that which I tried to avoid all of high school (i.e.
allowing myself to be myself and be comfortable with the feeling of being liked by a cute girl, who I liked too before she left me-- giving me either a dishonest explanation or no explanation whatsoever). And it indeed smarts as badly as I thought it would.

How the hell do I get out of the negative downward spiral of a low self-esteem caused by an innumerable number of flops with women, and socialising in general, seeping into my belief in my self, and thus making me ruin things more and more?

The trade-off is that some things "game"-wise are starting to become clear to me, slowly. I approach new women ALL THE TIME, and I am not scared to talk to a woman, unless she clearly has a man-- a good man. I also know certain unchanging facts regarding the Game.

Perhaps I'll master the art of seducing beautiful women but firstly, I know I need to fix my self-esteem issues. And secondly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to love a woman once I have that.
 
Last edited:

HumanWhoLearns

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 25, 2019
Messages
97
You definitely have to change your mindset. You're over-valuing other people's opinions too much and you let how they react dictate how you feel about yourself. That is a recipe for disaster. You can see how reactive and negative it's making you. I did that for a long time and it really held me back.

I would check out the Mindsets section of the website and also the articles on neediness, trying too hard, and finding your purpose.
 

Nicko

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 31, 2020
Messages
170
Location
Australia
You definitely have to change your mindset. You're over-valuing other people's opinions too much and you let how they react dictate how you feel about yourself. That is a recipe for disaster. You can see how reactive and negative it's making you. I did that for a long time and it really held me back.

I would check out the Mindsets section of the website and also the articles on neediness, trying too hard, and finding your purpose.
i also believe it all starts with the mindset a old article i read was this which helped men into ‘Abundance mentality’


‘The Plan’ article by Rollo Tomassi

https://therationalmale.com/2013/04/09/the-plan/

its subconscious from want i understand. Your brain needs to be ‘rewired’(lack of description lol) to think you are attractive
 

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
1,539
I'm someone who-- like pretty much all of you-- loves women. I love it when they put time into their appearance, making themselves sexy AF. I like how supportive they can be, and how cute and shy they get when you flatter them... I love almost everything about women.

But my godforsaken problem is this: there is an almost supernatural level of talent involved in how I manage to make any woman that's into me, or that I'm into, run away from me.


In my childhood... back when I wasn't even sexually interested in women yet, I wanted to kiss the cute girls and have them tell me they have a crush on me. Well, I definitely did not get to experience that as I was the weirdest, most ostracised kid in the grade. But even then, there was this one girl who really liked me for a LONG time but I didn't find her attractive, but I was an absolute TOSSER to her, eventually driving her far away by the time 7th grade rolled around.


Same thing happened 6 times by the time I finished high school. And all of them cute too. I would kind of keep them away because I could not understand how anyone could like me. 4 of them I did go out on dates with and kiss but after a certain point I literally ghosted them, because I thought that my charm would wear off and I subconsciously felt that I wouldn't be able to handle that level of rejection if that happened. I still feel like an idiot because of it, but now I kind of understand that the lack of positive attention and "love" given to me at the time made me unused to the really positive attention and love given to me on rare occasions.

I started very early trying to find knowledge on how to win a woman's affections. I read the Art of Seduction for the first time at 12, read The Game, Rules of the Game, the Mystery Method and even Richard La Ruina's The Natural by 14. I tried but definitely could NOT truly apply the lessons learned from these books at that age, but I tried where I could. Goddammit I tried. Started cold-approaching women at 13 years old. Then I discovered Girls Chase at 15. This was back in 2017 (you can see that I last posted then). I had not even been on a date at that point.

I'm not necessarily looking for technical know-how, because that stuff just makes me overthink at this point. But I'd appreciate your advice.

Stuff has happened since then, and I won't really get into it because it's a lot of stuff-- mostly spectacular rejections. I've learned a myriad of ways of how NOT to get a woman...and I still learn new ways of screwing up everyday. I'm almost a pro at this point.


But now I've arrived at a fairly ridiculous point now. I have now discovered that I'm considered attractive-- by a lot of beautiful women. I'm a second-year in university right now, and this is supposed to be the easiest run of your life. Well, I have found success with exactly... NONE of these women. Have you ever had a woman at a PARTY tell you word for word that you're beautiful. Not "cute", not "handsome"... "BEAUTIFUL". And then still screw this seduction equivalent of a layup and watch in (I'll be honest) sadness as she makes out and subsequently goes home with some other guy. Most of the guys who I know and have seen pull multiple incredibly good-looking women look at me and greet me at first glance like I'm their king.
And I feel like a goddamned idiot knowing that I have a horrible, seemingly unceasing, rap with women.

I've also experienced TWICE that which I tried to avoid all of high school (i.e.
allowing myself to be myself and be comfortable with the feeling of being liked by a cute girl, who I liked too before she left me-- giving me either a dishonest explanation or no explanation whatsoever). And it indeed smarts as badly as I thought it would.

How the hell do I get out of the negative downward spiral of a low self-esteem caused by an innumerable number of flops with women, and socialising in general, seeping into my belief in my self, and thus making me ruin things more and more?

The trade-off is that some things "game"-wise are starting to become clear to me, slowly. I approach new women ALL THE TIME, and I am not scared to talk to a woman, unless she clearly has a man-- a good man. I also know certain unchanging facts regarding the Game.

Perhaps I'll master the art of seducing beautiful women but firstly, I know I need to fix my self-esteem issues. And secondly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to love a woman once I have that.

Dude, relax and take a breath.

You say you've read multiple books on seduction, but I did not see a single technique mentioned here. I did not see any series of steps that you expected to work but it didn't. All I see is self-reproach.

Relax. Meditate. Go out and deep dive a woman, tease her, touch her, kiss her, invite her to yours for a drink. It's not that complicated, but it does take intentful practice. If there's a particular sticking point, ask for help, look for articles on girlschase, work on it until it's gone.

It's just a process, like training for a sport. All that's required from you is to hold yourself together, stay positive, and put in the right work at the right time. And ideally, enjoy yourself doing it!
 

Tony D

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jul 26, 2018
Messages
429
I'm not sure how old you are, but I get the feeling you're still in your early twenties.

You know about the psychology, tactics, and strategies to have success with women, but you lack the experience that comes from practical application.

You can't learn seduction from a book alone.

Personally I have approached ten thousand women. It took me nearly ten years. I'm great with women.

Until you do the actual ground work of learning how to approach women, you'll likely never solve your inner game issues.

That's what you have is deep rooted inner game issues. It's up to you to fix it, and it won't happen passively.
 
Top
>