Hello All,
I decided to post a thread regarding my current situation after having read a few of the articles on this website, to try and understand better what is going on and what I could do/should not do.
I have met a new girl by chance at a beauty salon I go to, as one day she had to take me as a client (her collegue aka my regular professional was not available).
Right from the beginning I was struck by how direct she was (a definite plus for me because I am direct as well), for instance after asking me what I do for living, she asked bluntly:
- do you have a girlfriend?
- are there good-looking girls where you live/work?
The second question I kind of evaded, keeping it rather neutral not saying yes and not saying no. I did not ask back the same questions to her.
The session went on with some general talking, the girl laughed a couple of times and I was pleased with the interaction.
Before leaving I asked for her number but she did not hand it over, she is very wary of guys she later told me during another session. I did not insist but booked her again for the next session.
From the first time I met her we had another 5-6 sessions spaced out roughly every 2 weeks - I have always kept things at a very professional level, but lately I noticed that for example
- she did not mind me laying my hand on her shoulder one day as I greeted her
- she offered me a coffee one morning as I came to the salon (never seen other clients getting one) and she always stops to say bye in case I have an appointment with one of the other professionals
- she opened up more, talking about herself
- she told me she was for 6years with her ex-boyfriend, giving me some details on what worked then and what not (even some hints on her sex life back then)
- we do have several interests in common and several similar characterial traits
She then told me 2 weeks ago she was “seeing” one guy and that she is very cautious with guys generally - even said that one guy might not be around a month from then (Just for infi: She wanted to go one week vacation to some place but had nobody to go with, so I asked her why she would not go with the guy she was seeing...).
Not sure if I believed that fully because it turned out that today she eventually told me she now has a boyfriend.
(However she will not go on vacation with him, she had to cancel her vacation plans for other reasons.)
Today I also managed to get her number and she said she would go out for a drink with me - but as friends.
I certainly think it would be worth for me to get to know her better, as I find lots of character similarities between us two and I enjoy her company.
She also confessed during our last appointment that she did not like me at first (came out as arrogant and domineering, which many people perceive generally), but as she talked to me she started to appreciate me more for other things.
To the point of realizing and stating herself even “we are quite similar for many things”.
Now I am not sure how to proceed. I am certainly not going to look desperate to go out, and need to find the right way to do it. But I also cannot wait forever.
I also avoid phone texting communication as much as possible, keeping texts concise without unnecessary smileys etc.
I could give up and keep this at a professional level,but at the same time I am intrigued by this girl. I give her genuine compliments - but not too often - and show appreciation by thanking her - even for example for a nice chat or time spent at the salon with her.
I think she also likes something of me - and she laughs when I make comments hinting at her liking something about me.
It could be that I missed my chance and should have acted earlier, but I am not sure how to read the whole situation now.
I know nothing about her new boyfriend and never talked about him with her.
I will meet her again a week from now for some other appointment at the salon.
Should I insist on going out for a drink then? Should I play it more passive? It could be that she will never propose to go out herself.
I do not intend to text her in the meantime, she even told me she does not like it when guys text her nonstop.
Are there any signals I could send out to read the situation better, maybe keep the attraction growing, or anything I definitely should not do?
Thank you all for any input
I decided to post a thread regarding my current situation after having read a few of the articles on this website, to try and understand better what is going on and what I could do/should not do.
I have met a new girl by chance at a beauty salon I go to, as one day she had to take me as a client (her collegue aka my regular professional was not available).
Right from the beginning I was struck by how direct she was (a definite plus for me because I am direct as well), for instance after asking me what I do for living, she asked bluntly:
- do you have a girlfriend?
- are there good-looking girls where you live/work?
The second question I kind of evaded, keeping it rather neutral not saying yes and not saying no. I did not ask back the same questions to her.
The session went on with some general talking, the girl laughed a couple of times and I was pleased with the interaction.
Before leaving I asked for her number but she did not hand it over, she is very wary of guys she later told me during another session. I did not insist but booked her again for the next session.
From the first time I met her we had another 5-6 sessions spaced out roughly every 2 weeks - I have always kept things at a very professional level, but lately I noticed that for example
- she did not mind me laying my hand on her shoulder one day as I greeted her
- she offered me a coffee one morning as I came to the salon (never seen other clients getting one) and she always stops to say bye in case I have an appointment with one of the other professionals
- she opened up more, talking about herself
- she told me she was for 6years with her ex-boyfriend, giving me some details on what worked then and what not (even some hints on her sex life back then)
- we do have several interests in common and several similar characterial traits
She then told me 2 weeks ago she was “seeing” one guy and that she is very cautious with guys generally - even said that one guy might not be around a month from then (Just for infi: She wanted to go one week vacation to some place but had nobody to go with, so I asked her why she would not go with the guy she was seeing...).
Not sure if I believed that fully because it turned out that today she eventually told me she now has a boyfriend.
(However she will not go on vacation with him, she had to cancel her vacation plans for other reasons.)
Today I also managed to get her number and she said she would go out for a drink with me - but as friends.
I certainly think it would be worth for me to get to know her better, as I find lots of character similarities between us two and I enjoy her company.
She also confessed during our last appointment that she did not like me at first (came out as arrogant and domineering, which many people perceive generally), but as she talked to me she started to appreciate me more for other things.
To the point of realizing and stating herself even “we are quite similar for many things”.
Now I am not sure how to proceed. I am certainly not going to look desperate to go out, and need to find the right way to do it. But I also cannot wait forever.
I also avoid phone texting communication as much as possible, keeping texts concise without unnecessary smileys etc.
I could give up and keep this at a professional level,but at the same time I am intrigued by this girl. I give her genuine compliments - but not too often - and show appreciation by thanking her - even for example for a nice chat or time spent at the salon with her.
I think she also likes something of me - and she laughs when I make comments hinting at her liking something about me.
It could be that I missed my chance and should have acted earlier, but I am not sure how to read the whole situation now.
I know nothing about her new boyfriend and never talked about him with her.
I will meet her again a week from now for some other appointment at the salon.
Should I insist on going out for a drink then? Should I play it more passive? It could be that she will never propose to go out herself.
I do not intend to text her in the meantime, she even told me she does not like it when guys text her nonstop.
Are there any signals I could send out to read the situation better, maybe keep the attraction growing, or anything I definitely should not do?
Thank you all for any input
