NYC Dancefloor Game

[NYCasanova]

Night 103 – Tuesday – 7 approaches – 1 beer

It rained all weekend, some sort of Nor'easter, so I didn't go out at all. Yesterday I went to a gallery party. As the weather gets colder, clubbing seem to be slowing down compared with the summer, so I'm planning to shift some of my focus toward street approaches and indoor events. I’ll try to go out dancing Fridays or Saturdays, but will likely stop going out on other days. Some approaches that stand out.

The first was with a racially ambiguous brown woman. I approached with the "all that beauty" opener (hey where’d you get that?... all that beauty), and she smiled. We talked about galleries and going out. She was there with a friend, but we were both asking each other questions and keeping the conversation moving. She’s from Texas. I tried to make a cold read about Texans, but my mind briefly went blank, so I blurted out, "Well, you're not as arrogant as other people from Texas." I should use better material. Shortly afterward, she said she was going to keep looking at the art and left with her friend. I have to get better at making cold reads in the moment.

The next interaction was with a short-haired brunette. Instead of using my usual opener, I asked, "What's your favorite piece in the room?" She pointed one out and explained why she liked it, then asked for my favorite. I chose one and explained my answer. I told her she gave off an artist vibe. She’s a journalist, not an artist, but she said she'd gotten that before. Shortly afterward, she said, "Great meeting you," and ejected.

A black girl was standing beside a sculpture, so I walked over and asked her what her favorite piece in the room was. She was working the event, so wasn’t really looking at the art. I joked, "You're just trying to do your job and go home, right? You're not trying to interact with this stuff." She agreed and laughed a bit.

Later, I saw a redhead wearing jeans and a brown jacket. I approached with the "all that beauty" opener. She smiled, but then turned away. I didn’t pursue further.

I saw this blonde girl looking closely at a painting. I asked what her favorite painting in the room was, and she pointed to the one directly in front of her. She was Russian and didn't go to galleries very often. At one point, I noticed her bright blue eyes and told her, "You have really piercing eyes." She thanked me. She was engaged and asking me questions as well. I eventually ejected. Looking back, I probably should have stayed longer because she was engaged in the conversation, but the spark wasn’t there.

I then saw this black girl wearing an outfit built with different shades of brown. I approached by complimenting her outfit. I asked whether brown was her favorite color, but she said it was actually pink. I joked, "I wouldn't know that based on what you're wearing." She explained that she'd chosen the outfit because she was working the event. I responded, "Oh, so this is the gallery fit." She laughed and agreed.

The final meaningful approach was a couple, a guy and a brunette girl. They were peeking around the side of a painting. I walked over and asked what they were doing. She started laughing. They explained that they were trying to figure out whether the painting had been made on a copper plate, so I joined them and started examining it too. We agreed it was probably copper. I ejected shortly after. But it was good practice approaching a guy/girl group.

Overall, it was a solid night. I made 7 approaches, continued the conversation past the the "all that beauty" opener, and showed some intent.

 

[NYCasanova]

Night 104 – Wednesday – 7 approaches – 1 drink

I apologize if my writing is wordy lately. I usually record my speech and transcribe/clean up with Chatgpt.

I went out to an art gallery on Wednesday instead of going dancing. The event itself wasn't particularly good, but I was already out, so I decided to stay for a while and make the best of it. I made 7 approaches over the course of the night, although I think I'm going to stop counting approaches. I'm getting to the point where approaching is more fluid. Instead of standing around thinking about whether I should approach someone, I'm increasingly just going with the flow and doing it when the vibe feels right.

I'd been at the gallery for about half an hour, and almost nothing was happening. I'd made one approach by asking someone whether she was the artist, but otherwise the room wasn't giving me much to work with. Eventually, I decided to leave. As I walked out, though, I saw a cute brunette wearing glasses heading into the gallery. I thought, “You know what? I'm going to stay and try to talk to her.” So I turned around and went right back inside.

Eventually, I saw her walking toward the door to leave. I stopped her with, "Hey, where'd you get that?" She asked, "Get what?" and I replied, "All that beauty." She flashed a big smile, and I transitioned into talking about the gallery and whether she came there often. She was smiling throughout. She is from Connecticut and lives in the neighborhood, so I joked that the gallery was basically in her backyard. She was a consultant and now working on a startup. Before we separated, I got her Instagram.

I eventually left and started walking around. I passed two women sitting on a patio, one of whom was a brunette with a nose piercing and a very cute face. I approached her with the all that beauty line. She looked at me confused and asked, "What?" I flashed a small smile, and she actually started smiling before I'd even delivered the punchline. When I delivered the puncline, She and her friend started laughing. For some reason, I didn't continue the conversation. I simply told her, "I was walking, saw you and had to say something." They kept laughing, and I wished them a good night and walked away. That was a clear opening to continue.

As I continued walking, I came across a long line of people waiting outside a venue. I asked a blonde girl in line what everyone was waiting for, and she told me it was a comedy show. I asked, "Oh, is he really that funny?" Then then I continued on my way.

Later, I saw a brunette wearing a shell necklace standing on the sidewalk near four guys who were talking among themselves. I approached her with the "all that beauty" line, and she immediately responded, "Oh my God, you're so sweet! You're so sweet!" I told her I'd been walking by, saw her, and had to approach. She repeated, "Oh, you're so sweet." This time, I tried to push the conversation forward. I asked whether she'd just come from a night out, and she said she'd been out with her friend. Shortly afterward, her blonde friend started walking toward her. I wished them a good night and continued on my way. The vibe wasn't incredible, but I probably still could have stayed in the interaction a little longer.

Toward the end of the night, I was walking home when I noticed a cute Latina inside a taco shop. I'd originally planned to go straight home, but I thought, “You know what? I'm getting tacos tonight.” So I went inside and ordered two. While they were making my food, I walked over to her and said, "Hey, where'd you get that?" She looked confused and pointed toward the cash register. English was her second language. I clarified, "No, I meant all that beauty." She physically jumped back in surprise. I jumped back too, mirroring her. That was essentially the end of the interaction. She left, and I left shortly afterward once my food was ready.

On the walk home, though, we unexpectedly crossed paths again. We were walking directly toward each other, and as we passed, she stared at me. I looked back at her for a moment, but neither of us said anything. In retrospect, that was another opportunity to reopen the interaction naturally—even something as simple as waving or asking what she was up to.

I'm becoming much more fluid about making the initial approach. I'm increasingly willing to act when I see an opportunity. I still need to work on continuing the conversation and reopening when I encounter someone again in a different situation.

 

[NYgeorgian]

Great reading this log. Just joined this forum but if you're looking for wings in the city I'd be happy to wing w/ you.

 

[NYCasanova]

Great reading this log. Just joined this forum but if you're looking for wings in the city I'd be happy to wing w/ you.

Awesome, my style can be pretty intense, but i'm getting to the point where i'm actually going out with more wings

 

[NYCasanova]

Night 105 – Thursday – 3+ drinks

I went out to the galleries again last Thursday and made a number of approaches before eventually transitioning to the clubs. A few interactions stood out:

At one gallery, I noticed a cute brunette wearing glasses and looking at different pieces on the wall. I walked over and said, "Hey, where'd you get that?" She asked, "Get what?" I answered, "All that beauty," and she flashed a big smile. We made small talk about the gallery, where she was from, what she did, and whether she went to gallery openings often. I got her IG before ejecting. Turns out she’s engaged, so likely going nowhere.

At another gallery, I saw a blonde who stood out because she was dressed very elegantly—a dress, lots of jewelry, and an overall classy look. I approached with the "all that beauty" line. She smiled, thanked me, and we continued talking. She was from Spain and was in a master's program nearby. After talking about that for a while, I complimented her outfit and looked around the room before telling her, "Yeah, you're the best-dressed person here." That got a huge smile out of her. We continued talking for a little longer, and I eventually got her IG.

I approached a tall blonde with the same "all that beauty" opener. She was receptive, but during the conversation she mentioned a boyfriend. We made small talk for a bit, but I eventually moved on.

On my way out of the galleries, I was standing with two guys when I noticed an alt brunette heading out. I stopped her with a situational opener and asked whether she came to galleries often. She stopped and engaged, and we ended up talking for around 7 minutes about art and things to do in New York. She was new to the city and still figuring everything out. Because I was with two other guys, I didn't really push for contact information. Eventually, she left to meet her friend, and I headed toward the clubs.

On the way to the club, I saw a brunette sitting on the train platform. I approached with the "all that beauty" line. She wasn't receptive and simply put her earphones back in after I delivered the line. I took the hint.

Once I got to the club, I noticed a brunette sitting by herself and approached with the "all that beauty" line. She was receptive, and we started talking. Pretty quickly, though, I learned that she was there with her husband. I ejected shortly after that came out.

Later, another guy and I were heading to a different venue when we came across two Black girls. One had blue hair and piercings, while the other had a more conventional look. We approached the two of them together. The woman with blue hair immediately lit up when we said hello, so the guy I was with started talking to her while I talked to her friend. I asked for her name, and we shook hands. While shaking her hand, I noticed tattoos on her arm. I touched her arms and mentioned the tattoos. She freaked out and said not to touch her. She then asked me to buy her a drink. I told her, "I just met you. I don't even know if you're cool yet." Shortly afterward, I left the interaction, and we continued down the block to a karaoke bar.

At the karaoke bar, we started talking to a group of three women. We were all social, watching people perform, and talking about the songs. One of the women was a curvy brunette in a white top. She was a Chris Brown fan; I told her I preferred The Weeknd, and we started bantering over which artist was better. At one point she challenged me: "You're all talk. I want to see you get up there and sing." I didn't particularly feel like singing, and the wait to perform was around an hour anyway, so I passed. The conversation continued, and she was physically engaged throughout it—touching my arm and my back while we talked. She asked what I did, and I learned that she was a therapist. Overall, the interaction seemed to be going well.

Eventually, the guy and I were ready to head back to the first venue. The curvy brunette went to the restroom, and I decided I'd wait until she returned, get her IG, and then leave. When she came back, I asked for her Instagram. "I don't have Instagram," she said. I stared at her for a few seconds, and she added, "I'm too old for that."

I responded, "youth is a state of mind," and we talked for a bit, then I left. I didn't ask for her number because I probably wouldn’t have pursued her for a proper date.

There was another group at the karaoke bar, three brunettes. They sat down behind us, and I immediately turned around and asked, "When are you guys gonna sing?" They told me they had a song planned. I tried to guess, but one of them just told me, "Wait and see." Eventually they got onstage and sang. When they returned, I told them they'd done a great job. I was already occupied with the curvy brunette and her group, so I ejected.

When we returned to the first bar, I noticed a blonde standing by herself near the bar while her friend talked to a guy. She was wearing a tight dress and had a striking silhouette—small waist and wider hips. I approached with, "Hey, where'd you get that?" She was receptive to the "all that beauty" punchline, and we started talking.

She was highly engaged from the beginning. She touched me while we talked, asked questions about where I was from, and told me she worked in tech. She was based in Norway but came to New York frequently.

After talking for a while, I said, "Let's dance," and took her toward the dance floor. She initially came with me. I pulled her into a turn and transitioned toward dancing and grinding, but after only a few seconds she disengaged and returned to the bar. I continued toward the dance floor instead of following her.

Looking back, I probably should have given her some space and reapproached later. Her wanting to stop dancing didn't necessarily mean the entire interaction was over. I never circled back, though. I didn’t get many chances (though I had a couple) to reapproach because she started talking with a guy for the rest of the night.

Downstairs, I saw two blonde women talking to a guy. He was clearly flirting with one of them, while the other was standing there as the third wheel. It was an obvious opening to talk to her, but I hesitated. I told myself I'd wait and see what happened. A few moments later, another guy approached the third wheel. Before long, they were making out. You snooze you lose.

For the last interaction, three women were sitting together near the bar, and one of them was wearing a necklace with the letter M. I'd met one of the other women upstairs earlier, and her name also started with M, so I walked over and pointed it out. "Oh, M. You guys both have the same first letter." She smiled and told me her name. They were roommates, so I asked, "Who's the nice one and who's the naughty one?" She pointed to her roommate as the naughty one, so I said, "Oh, so you're the nice one." She smiled and agreed.

Then I tried to guess where she was from. I guessed the Midwest, and she told me I was wrong. She said she was from the South. Before I could guess the state, her friend jumped in and said South Carolina. Eventually, they announced that they needed to have a little huddle. They talked among themselves for a while and then left.

Later, while I was walking toward the train, I saw the same group again at a food spot. I recognized them, but I didn't say anything. Looking back, I could have easily reopened with something playful, even just a “hey, you guys again!”



Solid night. The biggest miss was probably the third wheelin blonde or the Norwegian blonde. I need to 1) stop overanalyzing and 2) reapproach even after a soft rejection.

 

[NYgeorgian]

Awesome, my style can be pretty intense, but i'm getting to the point where i'm actually going out with more wings

Cool man. Email me at dannygrainger77@gmail.com

 

[NYCasanova]

Night 106 – Friday – 1 drink

I went to Top 40 night at the club on Friday. I've stopped counting the number of approaches I make because I'm getting to the point where approaching feels nearly automatic. I'm much more comfortable. I can dance in the middle of the floor or stand around, and when someone catches my attention as she walks by, I can approach without having to think much about it. A few interactions stood out.

The first was a black girl with a nose ring, jean shorts, and a cast on her wrist. She was giving me the eyes. I approached with something situational: "Did you beat someone up to get that?" She looked confused and said, "No, I broke it at a concert." I responded, "Going too hard, huh?" She shrugged, then I told her she was pretty cute and asked her name. We talked for a bit before I eventually asked her to dance, but she turned me down. I reapproached later in the night and said, "You're too cute to be dancing by yourself." She responded, "Sorry, I don't want to dance." So I ejected.

Later, I was standing on the dance floor when a blonde in a jean skirt walked past. I stopped her with, "Hey, where'd you get that?" She asked, "Get what?" and I answered, "All that beauty." She immediately started smiling. We talked, and I learned that she was from Brooklyn and was out for a college-friends night. At one point, she said she liked my glasses, so I responded, "I like your face." She immediately told me there would be "no funny business" happening that night. I leaned toward her ear and softly said, "I just said I liked your face. I didn't say anything about funny business. Get your head out of the gutter." Immediately, she turned around and started grinding on me.

We danced for a bit until one of her guy friends came over, whispered something in her ear, and pulled her away. I saw her several times later in the night, but she was constantly surrounded by guy friends and other girls. It didn’t seem like they were out to meet people, but I still should’ve reapproached.

I then approached a tall blonde with jean shorts and a sheer, almost see-through top. I used the "all that beauty" opener, and she was receptive. She was from Arizona, and when I told her I'd grown up in California, she joked that we were neighbors. She was engaged and asking me questions. Eventually I said, "Hey, let's dance." She agreed, and we started dancing face-to-face.

After a song or so, her friend came over and started tapping her hand, trying to get her attention. She told me, "I've got to get back to my friend, but I'll find you later, okay?" I agreed, but she lingered for a moment and kept looking at me.. I leaned in and kissed her, and we kissed twice. She then repeated, "I'll find you later. I've got to go with my friends," and returned to her group.

Later, I approached a blonde wearing white shorts with the "all that beauty" opener. She was visiting from Germany, so we talked about her trip to New York and how it had been going. Eventually I asked her to dance, and she declined. Later I decided to reapproach later. I told her, "You're too cute to be dancing by yourself." She shrugged it off and still wasn't interested.

I continued the wordless approaches. I noticed a curvy Latina dancing with her friend. I lightly touched her arm, took her hand, and twirled her toward me. She responded immediately and started dancing with me. I turned her around, and we started grinding. We danced together for about a song before she eventually returned to her friend.



Solid night. I’m able to fluidly stop girls who are just walking around the dancefloor. These days I’m working on charisma. I found a copy of Charisma on Command. The goal is to get better at long, sustained, flirty conversations.

 

[NYCasanova]

Night 107 – Saturday – 1 drink

I went to Top 40 night at the club on Saturday. This club has been very good to me. I'd been there three times before Saturday, and I'd kissed someone every time. I've also settled into a new approach style on the dance floor. I stand in the middle of the floor, dance, and react to what's happening around me. If I see an approachable pair, someone third-wheeling, a girl dancing with good vibes or high energy, a girl giving me eyes or smiling at me, or someone I find attractive walking by, I can go up to her. A few interactions stood out.

The first was an Asian girl in a black dress. I caught her staring at me a few times, so I smiled at her and she smiled back. I approached with, "You're pretty cute. What's your name?" We started talking, and I learned that she was from California and worked in policy. I tried asking more about her work, but she shut me down, saying her work is boring. I talked to her friend for a bit as well, who was also from California. She asked what I did. I responded that I used to be a lawyer and now host art events. This probably turned her off a little. She struck me as a status chaser. Next time I should give a joke answer first, then tell her what I do.

I tried to get her to dance. She went along with it somewhat, but she seemed awkward, almost like a fish out of water. The conversation had already started losing energy by that point, so I ejected.

Next, I saw a black woman in a red dress and approached her, again using the "You're pretty cute” opener. She was from Madagascar. I told her she was the first person from Madagascar I'd ever met, which got a smile out of her. We chatted for a bit, but over the course of the conversation she gradually started backing toward her friends. I wasn't interested in chasing the interaction into her friends, so I moved on.

I saw a very curvy Black woman in jeans dancing, so I moved next to her and lightly caressed her arm. I moved my hand down toward hers, took her hand, raised it, and guided her toward me. She came with me, and we immediately started grinding. We danced together for a song or two before her friends started walking away. She looked at them, then looked back at me and said, "Sorry," before following them.

Later, I saw a tall Indian girl in a long, tight white skirt and crop top walking across the dance floor with three other Indian women. I stopped her with, "Hey, where'd you get that?" She asked, "What?" and I answered, "All that beauty." She smiled, and we started talking. They were sisters, and she was born and raised in New York. We talked about nightlife and how often she went out, and after a while I took her hand and said, "Hey, let's dance." We danced a bit, but the dancing never became particularly close. There was still a lot of space between us, and she didn't seem completely into it, so we alternated between talking and lightly dancing.

I guessed that she was the second-youngest, but she got excited and told me she was actually the second-oldest. I responded, "Damn, it's because you're so high-energy. I thought you were younger." Eventually she told me it was nice meeting me and went to the bar with her sisters.

Maybe 45 minutes later, I saw them again on the dance floor, and this time she was eating a bag of Doritos. She smiled at me. I made a hand gesture mimicking smoking a joint. She immediately laughed and said, "Yes." I joked, "That's the only reason you'd have a bag of Doritos." She smiled, but then turned back toward her sisters and continued dancing with them. I watched for a while instead of reapproaching. Eventually another guy went over and started talking to her, so I decided to move on and find someone else to talk to.

I noticed a blonde girl third-wheeling while her friend talked to a guy. I approached her with the "all that beauty" line. She was from Germany, and almost immediately she gave me a hard time. "I can't understand you. You speak too fast." I slowed down, but she repeated that I was still speaking too quickly, so I slowed my speech down dramatically. She started smiling as I was talking comically slow. Eventually, the conversation started flowing well. Usually I would walk away if the girl started the conversation like this, but I decided to play along.

She was a student visiting New York for about a week with her friend. We talked about what she studied, her experiences visiting America, and all sorts of other things. She was asking questions, contributing, and staying engaged. A few times her friend tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention but she ignored her because she was so into our conversation. Eventually I got her Instagram and made the rounds.

Later, I saw them again. Her friend was talking to a new guy, leaving her by herself, so I reapproached and picked the conversation back up. She tried to guess my age and guessed 28. I told her I was 32, then tried to guess hers. When she revealed that she was 21, there was a brief awkward moment. I basically responded, "Yeah, it is what it is," and she reassured me, "Oh, it's okay, it's okay." We continued talking and eventually danced. Throughout the interaction I was touching her shoulder and hips, and while we danced I had both hands around her waist. We kept moving naturally between dancing and conversation.

At one point while dancing, I went in for the kiss. She turned her face away and said, "No, I can't. I'm so sorry." I simply continued talking to her. Eventually she and her friend needed to go to the bathroom, so we separated again.

I ended up running into her for a third time later in the night. Once again, her friend was talking to a guy, so I approached her. This time I joked, "You're honey and I'm a bee. I was gonna find you." She smiled, and we started talking again.

When the club closed, she gave me a big hug and rubbed my back, and we went our separate ways. Across the three interactions, we'd probably spent close to an hour together in total. I didn't have to rely heavily on dancing to sustain her interest. We danced at different points, but most of the interaction was carried by conversation.

Solid night. I was able to stay in the moment and approach girls as they walked by. Also this is one of the first times I was able to rely on a long conversation to build attraction, even though we were standing on the dancefloor.