OK to ask a girlfriend?

moom

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Thoughts on asking your girlfriend if you’re the best guy she’s ever been with flat out?
 

Sully

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Thoughts on asking your girlfriend if you’re the best guy she’s ever been with flat out?
Makes you look insecure. She might say yes for the sake of protecting your ego.

It's like asking someone whether they think you are ugly/bad/etc. The answer will be ego protecting.

Imagine a girl asking you if she was the best girl you have ever been with. That will put things into perspective.
 

moom

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Makes you look insecure. She might say yes for the sake of protecting your ego.

It's like asking someone whether they think you are ugly/bad/etc. The answer will be ego protecting.

Imagine a girl asking you if she was the best girl you have ever been with. That will put things into perspective.
thats what i was thinking too, thanks
 

Rakehell

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Thoughts on asking your girlfriend if you’re the best guy she’s ever been with flat out?
I think you might be projecting a little bit. Perhaps the girl you’re with is the best you’ve ever had and you want her to share that. Or maybe she doesn’t treat you like you’re the best she’s ever had and you can’t stand that.

Either way asking her won’t ever get you a straight answer and will only make you a little more crazy about her.
 

moom

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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I think you might be projecting a little bit. Perhaps the girl you’re with is the best you’ve ever had and you want her to share that. Or maybe she doesn’t treat you like you’re the best she’s ever had and you can’t stand that.

Either way asking her won’t ever get you a straight answer and will only make you a little more crazy about her.
It may be more projection (in the sense of a relationship) + competitiveness and the need to dominate. Definitely treats me the best any girl has in a relationship

thanks for the insight
 

Just a Man

Space Monkey
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Thoughts on asking your girlfriend if you’re the best guy she’s ever been with flat out?
Don't. You impose an impose an obligation on her - either to lie to you in order to make you feel good, or to hurt you by being honest with herself, or to confirm honestly that you are the best ever, which disempowers her in your relationship. Girls, in my experience, hate all sorts of sexual obligation (unless they're specifically into that kind of power dynamic.) And as has been said, it makes you look needy. Just be the best you can be.
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
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One thing to keep in mind is that if you are the best she's ever had then she will tell you without you asking

And it's the same for us and most things: "this is the best chocolate pie I've ever eaten!" You don't need to be asked, you're happy to share. And the other person doesn't need to ask because they've already heard it before
 

Just a Man

Space Monkey
space monkey
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One thing to keep in mind is that if you are the best she's ever had then she will tell you without you asking

And it's the same for us and most things: "this is the best chocolate pie I've ever eaten!" You don't need to be asked, you're happy to share. And the other person doesn't need to ask because they've already heard it before
But the way she tells you might not involve involve spelling it out. She might say, e.g., "I've never come like that", or she might cook something amazing, or she might give a very "attached" look and/or hold you in an unusually affectionate way.

It often won't just be: "Hey, you're my best ever."
 

Regal Tiger

Cro-Magnon Man
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But the way she tells you might not involve involve spelling it out. She might say, e.g., "I've never come like that", or she might cook something amazing, or she might give a very "attached" look and/or hold you in an unusually affectionate way.

It often won't just be: "Hey, you're my best ever."
Very true
 

Sully

Space Monkey
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It may be more projection (in the sense of a relationship) + competitiveness and the need to dominate. Definitely treats me the best any girl has in a relationship

thanks for the insight
Seems like you are getting attached to this girl.
You are misinterpreting insecurity, ego and your fear of loss of her as competitiveness/need to dominate.
Quite obvious when you see that you are competing with guys that aren't even in the picture.
 

moom

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Seems like you are getting attached to this girl.
You are misinterpreting insecurity, ego and your fear of loss of her as competitiveness/need to dominate.
Quite obvious when you see that you are competing with guys that aren't even in the picture.
Damn that truth hit home- it gets easier to lose abundance in a relationship. Whats a good way to fight against letting insecurity, ego, and fear of loss get in the way?
 

moom

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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But the way she tells you might not involve involve spelling it out. She might say, e.g., "I've never come like that", or she might cook something amazing, or she might give a very "attached" look and/or hold you in an unusually affectionate way.

It often won't just be: "Hey, you're my best ever."
She’s told me in the past that im the most dominant guy shes ever been with and the best guy she’s been with in bed, completely unwarranted without me asking so I guess I can take that as a sign? lol
 

topcat

Modern Human
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She’s told me in the past that im the most dominant guy shes ever been with and the best guy she’s been with in bed, completely unwarranted without me asking so I guess I can take that as a sign? lol
Bro bro bro. The way you’re posting, is the way your girl should be talking in her private group chats about you. Ideally.

“should i ask him if im the best he’s ever had girls?? how do i know??!! lol”

Act in a manner that has her feeling the way you do right now, and you’ll be okay..
 

moom

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Bro bro bro. The way you’re posting, is the way your girl should be talking in her private group chats about you. Ideally.

“should i ask him if im the best he’s ever had girls?? how do i know??!! lol”

Act in a manner that has her feeling the way you do right now, and you’ll be okay..
Lol I should explain why Ive been feeling this way, as it feels out of character for me.

Basically last 3 weeks have been a shit show, youre going to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all:

1) Got her pregnant and she got an abortion two weeks ago (please no judgement here, it was her choice and I carefully treaded on this). Pregnancy has a way of making you think about your future with a girl.

2) My ex and I had planned to go to mexico like a week before I even met my current girlfriend, and then after my girlfriend and I got official, I obviously bailed on my ex. She still had a flight to my place booked for last week. (she lives in canada currently and we broke up because it was a travel romance with an end date). So last week literally my ex comes over and stays at my place, crashing on my couch. I live with a roommate in a house, so we were never completely alone but yeah. To make my girlfriend more comfortable, I let her stayed with me the 3 days my ex was here too. It didn't go too bad as they got along well the second day but they did get a little catty with each other the last day.

3) One of my closest friends is a girl that I fooled around with ages ago. My girlfriend, her, and I have been hanging out together more the past 3 weeks.

4) In the past 2 weeks, my girlfriend has literally randomly had 4 out of the 8 guys she’s slept with reach out to her. 2 ex boyfriends and 2 guys she has slept with in the past. Every instance she told me right away without me saying anything. I just told her to make decisions that are best for our relationship and stressed the boundaries I set prior to us getting exclusive (the exact ones that Chase mentioned in his most recent article). She, unwarranted without me even saying, deleted their numbers and unfollowed them from Instagram. She said she was annoyed that they were reaching out to her randomly. She definitely didn’t do it to “protect my feelings” or any shit like that because I was very nonchalant about the whole thing. I think she did it because she wanted to prove her loyalty to me. At first I thought she was telling me this because she wanted to get me jealous after my ex stayed over, but this wasn’t the case.

So after guy number 4 reached out to her, her ex, it had me feeling like damn, why are all these guys reaching out to her now. Am I her best or na? Hope that clears it up
 

moom

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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314
the opposite.
Lol, basically I was feeling insecure that guys from her past were randomly reaching out to her recently, even though its a common thing with hot girls. She didn't respond to any of them and told me right away without me asking and I value her honesty, but still had me feeling a little insecure
 
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