Ah dude your problem is you asked for it, instead of dominating her and making her comply. Well, for instance say you want anal sex... "hey girl can I put my cock up your poo hole?", she's gonna reply "get real" even if she's your girlfriend. Whereas, if you make a game of it, like tell her she's being punished and give her an enema which she has to hold for 15 minutes before she's allowed to go to the toilet... then lube up your cock and stick it in there... she'll be golden with it. Basically what it boils down to is girls like dominant men. If you have to ask... you're automatically disqualified. As to the oral sex, I would suggest something like, when you get home from a night out, as you walk in the door, kiss her... then tell her "if anything happens that you're not comfortable with... your safe word is 'red'... but if you use it you don't get sex"... and then take her hands and gently tie them behind her back with a rope or silk tie or something that you have conveniently to hand (I have a shoe cupboard with some of these goodies in it). And say "on your knees"... if she won't comply then you kneel on the floor, bend her over your knee and give her a spanking... then stand up and try again: "on your knees". Remember to use a commanding tone of voice. When she's on her knees you get out your cock and put it in her mouth. Girls really like giving head with their hands tied.
As another note the transparency thing is beta as hell, NEVER do this... she should always be guessing a bit what's in your phone. Well, I don't have a lock on my phone and my girl could conceivably pick it up and look through it while I'm in the shower or whatever (I had another girlfriend send me a sext the other day, etc, so there's plenty to see)... but frankly I don't think she would, and I certainly wouldn't encourage this sort of thing. If she did, what she'll see is I'm a dude who lots of women want, which will make her even more attracted (despite the fact she'll hate herself for being even more attracted, and probably cause drama which I will ignore)... and I would NEVER EVER go through my girl's phone, I must say she did get a text a month or so back from some orbiter or something, which scrolled onto the screen while she was showing me some video clip or some shit, which said "Please Leticia, I love" and I didn't see the rest because it was just a notification.... of course I was curious, but I never saw the rest, because it would send the wrong message, that I'm insecure and checking on her. Instead I just teased the hell out of her for the next few days "Leticia has a LOVER"... haha.
So basically what's happened is you've set a very beta frame with your girl and because of this she's refusing you compliance and making you court her to get what you want in bed. By the way, DO NOT BELIEVE any bullshit she says, she just made that up to explain away the fact that she doesn't feel attracted enough to want to suck your cock (because beta guys aren't attractive), and frankly, you should never have brought up this topic with her verbally, since now you've made it a "thing" it will be that much harder to gain compliance. You've now had a logical discussion about something which should be kept in the realm of an emotional decision (dominating her -> controlling her emotions). Girls are completely turned off by logic, there's no way you can ever logically reason with them as to why they should sleep with you, it's just not how their attraction system works. It's doubtful that this can be turned around, but you learned a lot about relationship management from the experience. Just do things right next time.
Ray