FU Party pull won't come inside (my house)

[lceman]

Feel like this should've been a layup, opinions please:

edit: all good now thanks

Came back to the party just before closing time and saw a fellow white guy talking to two cute girls. I swoop in and they all happily welcome me. I talk mainly to one of the girls. Few minutes later the party closes and as I'm outside starting to walk home, her friend opens me. We're headed in the same direction, so naturally I suggest we all continue together. We pair off and I probe for plans; my girl could stay up later. I suggest we stay together longer and she's open to the idea.

My thought at this time is simple baby step pull.

I first get her to take my subway line and maybe agree to get off at my station.

At the station, the other two go the opposite direction and I think it's a done deal. The first flash of 'this is actually going to happen' hits. We do some basic vibe building chitchat with flirting mixed in so I make sure she knows what's up.

She's looking at all the maps because the last train comes soon and still isn't 100% on staying with me.

She asks what we're going to do and I say we'll chill and language exchange. She says she's tired and doesn't want to drink more. Says she's a little drunk and asks if that's okay with me. I say yes I am too.

Circumstances are a huge green light. But she's not very receptive to touch at all, which is weird.

She's on the fence so I baby step further by saying she'll just walk me home, joking about safety. Still looking at maps and even makes a comment about taking a taxi home later. I agree. We get off together.

As we walk back she tells me a story about how she got matched with a language partner who didn't want to exchange language, "only wanted love" and she blocked him because of bad vibes.

When we get to the door, she refuses to come in. I persist to no avail "we'll just talk for a few more minutes" "we won't do anything we're not comfortable with" "We have a good vibe, let's continue"

But it was a hard no I couldn't get around.

"I just met you 1 hr ago" "your home is a private space" "it's my rule" "I have to work tomorrow" -she's now saying we can meet another time somewhere else.

She leaves to take the last train so we exchange contacts and names.

I text her "get home safe" to open the convo
she says "yes I get home now"

---

my thoughts on what went wrong: journal

 

[Ragnar]

this doesn’t surprise me. she doesn’t know you from Adam and her going to your house that soon can be dangerous. It’s a lot different than interacting with a girl in a public place

 

[Rancorous]

You didn't talk to her long enough for her to warm up to you.

Or as I call it "let the pussy marinate".

Your interaction was too short notice.

She said she had work so she already didn't plan to stay out late. If you would've known this earlier in the interaction you would've known to not waste your time on her.

 

[Will_V]

Sounds like things went way too fast for her.

I suggest we stay together longer and she's open to the idea.

OK sounds like she likes you and wants to spend time with you.

We do some basic vibe building chitchat with flirting mixed in so I make sure she knows what's up.

A bit of flirting isn't the same as an escalation. Women don't think like "oh we're flirting, sex is on the table, ok great!"

She's looking at all the maps because the last train comes soon and still isn't 100% on staying with me.

She asks what we're going to do and I say we'll chill and language exchange. She says she's tired and doesn't want to drink more. Says she's a little drunk and asks if that's okay with me. I say yes I am too.

Circumstances are a huge green light. But she's not very receptive to touch at all, which is weird.

It's not weird. You say yourself she's not 100% on staying with you, she's rejecting the idea of drinking at your place, she's asking what you'll be doing there, she's clearly not sold at all even though she's being railroaded to your place.

She's on the fence so I baby step further by saying she'll just walk me home, joking about safety. Still looking at maps and even makes a comment about taking a taxi home later. I agree. We get off together.

Another warning sign, she's thinking of how she'll leave your place even before she's there. This girl is showing all the signs of not being ready for the pull.

When we get to the door, she refuses to come in. I persist to no avail "we'll just talk for a few more minutes" "we won't do anything we're not comfortable with" "We have a good vibe, let's continue"

But it was a hard no I couldn't get around.

"I just met you 1 hr ago" "your home is a private space" "it's my rule" "I have to work tomorrow" -she's now saying we can meet another time somewhere else.

This is the expected result when you pull a girl who isn't ready. When she likes you and wants to be around you she'll be amenable and agreeable but when it goes too fast, a part of her inside starts to fill her head with objections, and she voiced a lot of them! And eventually she'll simply get anxious and bail.

The analogy I like to use is taking off in a plane, if it isn't going fast enough you can pull the stick and it'll go up for a little while, but shortly after it'll come back down hard, and there isn't a lot you can do about it. That's what happened here. You needed more runway.

I'd say that once you heard all those little objections come up it would've been a good idea to take her to another venue and warm her up more.

 

[francho]

If she doesn't want to do something you must calibrate and keep her comfortable. I would've changed locations or arrange a date.

 

[OldGuy]

You let her cool off. You should have used Alex's sex talk or the 8 types of orgasm

 

[lceman]

Cheers everyone.

I assumed she was looking for a hookup after the party and she... wasn't.

A bit of flirting isn't the same as an escalation. Women don't think like "oh we're flirting, sex is on the table, ok great!"

Going to dive deeper on this

You didn't talk to her long enough for her to warm up to you.

once you heard all those little objections come up it would've been a good idea to take her to another venue and warm her up more.

Yeah.

 

[Skills]

Feel like this should've been a layup, opinions please:

edit: all good now thanks

Came back to the party just before closing time and saw a fellow white guy talking to two cute girls. I swoop in and they all happily welcome me. I talk mainly to one of the girls. Few minutes later the party closes and as I'm outside starting to walk home, her friend opens me. We're headed in the same direction, so naturally I suggest we all continue together. We pair off and I probe for plans; my girl could stay up later. I suggest we stay together longer and she's open to the idea.

My thought at this time is simple baby step pull.

I first get her to take my subway line and maybe agree to get off at my station.

At the station, the other two go the opposite direction and I think it's a done deal. The first flash of 'this is actually going to happen' hits. We do some basic vibe building chitchat with flirting mixed in so I make sure she knows what's up.

She's looking at all the maps because the last train comes soon and still isn't 100% on staying with me.

She asks what we're going to do and I say we'll chill and language exchange. She says she's tired and doesn't want to drink more. Says she's a little drunk and asks if that's okay with me. I say yes I am too.

Circumstances are a huge green light. But she's not very receptive to touch at all, which is weird.

She's on the fence so I baby step further by saying she'll just walk me home, joking about safety. Still looking at maps and even makes a comment about taking a taxi home later. I agree. We get off together.

As we walk back she tells me a story about how she got matched with a language partner who didn't want to exchange language, "only wanted love" and she blocked him because of bad vibes.

When we get to the door, she refuses to come in. I persist to no avail "we'll just talk for a few more minutes" "we won't do anything we're not comfortable with" "We have a good vibe, let's continue"

But it was a hard no I couldn't get around.

"I just met you 1 hr ago" "your home is a private space" "it's my rule" "I have to work tomorrow" -she's now saying we can meet another time somewhere else.

She leaves to take the last train so we exchange contacts and names.

I text her "get home safe" to open the convo
she says "yes I get home now"

---

my thoughts on what went wrong: journal

She needed more comfort, i would have baby step it and talk about HER well being and baby step it that way, like is not safe for you to take the train alone and walk alone, you should stay over and leave early in the morning when you are sober and is day light, i will take the couch you can take my bed" like frame it like that, but the lay was not there she was not letting you touch and escalate the timing was off...

the "work tomorrow early" many times is a killer objection if legit... you can do oh yeah just couple of minutes just so you can meet my dog real quick or art or_________ and then i will kick you out...

^ but even then the work early if true, usually for me low odds, but at least i touch make out, sexual vibe, i don't know if you had that, she did not even let you touch...