Expectations Poll: Short Term Hookups For Life Or Long Term At Some Point?

[Troy]

Good day gentlemen,

I have a poll. The question is: Short Term Hookups For Life Or Long Term At Some Point?

Select one option:

1. Hooking up with new women consistently for life
2. Hooking up with new women for now but plan to settle down with one woman later in life
3. Long term relationships with one woman (marriage or just living with her) is the only goal
4. Hook up here and there but eventually find a girl who will be sexually and emotionally loyal to you. Whereas you are only emotionally loyal to her. You set the expectation with your main girl that you will occasionally sleep with new women. If your main woman tries to use sex as a weapon, you will just exercise options with other women

Thanks
Troy

Edit: @Regal Tiger that's a good one you shared. I have added that to the list.

 

[Regal Tiger]

4. Hook up here and there but eventually finding a girl who will be sexually and emotionally loyal to me whereas I'm only emotionally loyal to her. Continuing to hook up when freebies fall in my lap or if the main ever tries to use sex as a weapon

 

[trashKENNUT]

I have to admit.

This is a long answer.
Dear members, bear with me on this church boring type of talk. Lolx.
*Dear brothers and Sisters. LOLX!*
I sincerely believe that after all my life, experience, and hopefully more experience, and more of my readings and search.

...
Having one girl who wants you to be a Hero, is more powerful than what men thinks.

Women... is the Physical Representation
of Men's 'Feeel', variable.
and Men are the physical representation of Women's 'Objective', variable.

Accept who you are, guys. That is the secret.

If all guys accepts this, the economy will tank. Because jeans company will die. Cologne companies will die. Every company will die by 50%

Quick sidenote: this is in my opinion, why Casual sex destroys women.

*Continue*
It triggers Men"s heroism into something bigger than him, and this is where the tricky part is. Because a lot of women, manipulate men into their own version of happiness.

A lot of women do this, unconsciously and consciously.

And this also is why I felt, all the high level guys in the forums, have this vibe that @Beam continuing his relationship is not ideal for him. Not only is it not ideal for him, but it is also not ideal for her.

But Zac, how do I find a wife who has my best interest at heart, and doesn't manipulate my happiness into her own version of happiness?

I have to say. I don't have the answer.

Because all females, do this. Just as all males have their own biological interest, and then personal legacy interest at core. She has her own biological interest, and then personal interest at it's core.

Thus, this is why @Chase fucking ask you guys to

Screen.
Screen.
SCREEN GIRLS.

And don't do too much FWB. Eventually, you will kinda like her and be lazy. And you will be trap by your own sales funnel.

All of us are kinda trapped by our own sales funnel per se. Now, It's what you bring into that funnel, that matters. Females with the same value systems and hopefully, some self awareness.

and by achieving that, she will not manipulate you as much of making her version of happiness as your own.

This is why our society has failed. Because in order for the society to work, Women must be in the state of being righteous. To do the "right thing".

and to do the right thing, one must be in the state of that idea, believe in that idea. That idea, that belief is only accessible when Men guides her to that place. She can't access that place. She can't. She really can't.

Is not why we are here, today, in our society?

z@c+

Thank you for listening to my 'Pope rant'. Sincerely.

 

[Alpha13SC]

or if the main ever tries to use sex as a weapon

touché

 

[Skills]

people should do what they feel like doing at any particular point, even if they vote, they don't know what circumstances, conditions, feelings they will have in any particular future... My advice everyone should be flexible and not pragmatic in their approach... With that being said hands down the best set up i found after doing all of those set up is: - she has her place you have your place and you see each other vs living together... and you still have some hook ups here and there if you feel like it...

i also explain a phenomenon that happens at times here...

 

[Will_V]

Pretty much what Regal Tiger mentioned, not sure how I'm going to navigate it yet but the plan is a wife and mistresses. Probably not possible in the West, unfortunately.

I wouldn't say it's impossible for a woman to make me monogamous but I haven't met her yet.

 

[Tim Iron]

Option 4 of course! It's the best of both worlds.

 

[topcat]

people should do what they feel like doing at any particular point, even if they vote, they don't know what circumstances, conditions, feelings they will have in any particular future... My advice everyone should be flexible and not pragmatic in their approach... With that being said hands down the best set up i found after doing all of those set up is: - she has her place you have your place and you see each other vs living together... and you still have some hook ups here and there if you feel like it...

i also explain a phenomenon that happens at times here...

I see myself running this method..

Can’t ever see myself living with a woman. never have. But things can change so I leave open the possibility of that happening.. Live out situation for both, maybe a serious dom/sub master/slave dynamic perhaps, totally non-monogamous.

I’ve never had a mono gf, so maybe once I try that and have a girl totally loyal to me, my mind will change. The responsibility and interdependence gives me a yucky feeling though..

And having a girl that is a total doormat and would put up with one sided knowingly makes me think something is wrong with her.. like how unattractive/desperate/codependent/stupid are you that you would put up with that? why then should I want you?

Maybe this is all fantasy? lots of experimentation to do..

Great topic @Troy !

 

[Troy]

people should do what they feel like doing at any particular point, even if they vote, they don't know what circumstances, conditions, feelings they will have in any particular future... My advice everyone should be flexible and not pragmatic in their approach...

That's a fair response Skills. I do think people can change overtime. For instance, a guy who has slept with 5 women in the past decade may lean more towards marriage.

However, if his life circumstances change eg. gets more social status, more money, better game... then that same guy may now want to sleep with a new woman every week. And may even proclaim "I will never settle".

With that being said hands down the best set up i found after doing all of those set up is: - she has her place you have your place and you see each other vs living together... and you still have some hook ups here and there if you feel like it...

i also explain a phenomenon that happens at times here...

I read the post. Good one Skills. One question, how would this apply for men who want kids? I could understand that if the goal is to just have a main woman...she has her own place, you have yours it would give freedom and flexibility to continue sleeping with new women.

However, would you get a woman pregnant and have her live at her own house and you at yours?

Troy

 

[Skills]

That's a fair response Skills. I do think people can change overtime. For instance, a guy who has slept with 5 women in the past decade may lean more towards marriage.

However, if his life circumstances change eg. gets more social status, more money, better game... then that same guy may now want to sleep with a new woman every week. And may even proclaim "I will never settle".


I read the post. Good one Skills. One question, how would this apply for men who want kids? I could understand that if the goal is to just have a main woman...she has her own place, you have yours it would give freedom and flexibility to continue sleeping with new women.

However, would you get a woman pregnant and have her live at her own house and you at yours?

Troy

yeah that is different story... i have no experience on that so would be kj, i think @Fuck This has kids....

 

[ulrich]

I’m looking to do the wife and family thing at some point so I’m closer to 2.

But in all honesty, I have no idea what married life is like and probably I will need to find some mistress eventually.
I don’t know… I’ll see how it feels when I get there.

The other thing is, with divorce rate only going higher, you never know if you will eventually need to get back in the game, even if that’s not your plan so… better stay sexy and attractive for life.

 

[trashKENNUT]

I’m looking to do the wife and family thing at some point so I’m closer to 2.

But in all honesty, I have no idea what married life is like and probably I will need to find some mistress eventually.
I don’t know… I’ll see how it feels when I get there.

The other thing is, with divorce rate only going higher, you never know if you will eventually need to get back in the game, even if that’s not your plan so… better stay sexy and attractive for life.

Exactly.

It's not so much that you can't get sidechicks and mistresses.It's more of other people trying to shame you, that is until they are exposed like CNN.

If they can't get you, they attack your main.
Then, they attack your children.
Then, they attack your career/job.

The future, today actually... will be interesting with the internet.
Because all of us are literally FRAME battling, at every single fucking thing.

I be having penis fights with Troy or some guy over why I never buy a Tesla when I can only afford a Toyota.

z@c+

 

[DoWhatWorks]

Interesting topic... I’m leaning on 4 for now.

2 is tempting if I convert to Islam & have 4 wives and tons of children to carry on the family legacy with me as Sheikh

(Only half joking)

 

[Just a Man]

4. Hook up here and there but eventually finding a girl who will be sexually and emotionally loyal to me whereas I'm only emotionally loyal to her. Continuing to hook up when freebies fall in my lap or if the main ever tries to use sex as a weapon

This, definitely.

 

[ulrich]

Interesting topic... I’m leaning on 4 for now.

2 is tempting if I convert to Islam & have 4 wives and tons of children to carry on the family legacy with me as Sheikh

(Only half joking)

Yeah! I wouldn’t mind having several wives.

But that is currently forbidden in the West.
I feel so oppressed.

 

[Alpha13SC]

Yeah! I wouldn’t mind having several wives.

But that is currently forbidden in the West.
I feel so oppressed.

#MeToo

 

[trashKENNUT]

2 is tempting if I convert to Islam & have 4 wives and tons of children to carry on the family legacy with me as Sheikh

(Only half joking

Malaysia is very pro, about this.

You don't need to be Sheikh. My uncle has 3 wives but no kids. And I see him still flirting with other women.

We all gotta do what we gotta do.

z@c+

 

[Just a Man]

4. Hook up here and there but eventually find a girl who will be sexually and emotionally loyal to you. Whereas you are only emotionally loyal to her. You set the expectation with your main girl that you will occasionally sleep with new women. If your main woman tries to use sex as a weapon, you will just exercise options with other women

Thanks
Troy

Edit: @Regal Tiger that's a good one you shared. I have added that to the list.

I think the question in the OP is a great question. It boils down, as I see it, to: what is it all for and where is it going?

I replied earlier to Regal Tiger because I think his specific phrasing of option 4 was the right phrasing. Troy, I think you've added: "You set the expectation with your main girl that you will occasionally sleep with new women." I personally, actually, wouldn't add this. (Obviously, it could be another option, option 5 say, but in that case I wouldn't want to choose it.) The thing is, if you're aiming for mono on her part, no self-respecting girl would agree to the man behaving this way; but if you're aiming for poly, she'll rightly want equal freedoms. What girl in the Western world (and maybe elsewhere) would knowingly sign up to a life of male infidelity with a commitment on her part to stay sexually as well as emotionally faithful? It won't work, IMO.

To go back to Regal Tiger's original phrasing, if I've got it right: "Hook up here and there but eventually finding a girl who will be sexually and emotionally loyal to me whereas I'm only emotionally loyal to her. Continuing to hook up when freebies fall in my lap or if the main ever tries to use sex as a weapon".

I can't speak for what exactly Regal Tiger meant but, for me, the strength of this version is that it allows for male infidelity that is not discussed with the main girl, and does not rest on her approval. For some men, and probably lots of women, this will trigger moral shout-outs about cheating. But I can speak to the reality of marriage, which is that it's a mixed bag. A good marriage (which I have) offers plenty of human upside: the companionship can be great. But even so, I can promise that parts of it are hard work and that the "spark" that brings a guy and a girl together is not an eternal flame. If people tell you they've kept it going for decades, that's because they've worked hard to re-ignite it in different ways over time. It's not the same rush as that first attraction or that first couple of years.

Different guys will have different motives for PU. For some, marriage or a permanent style LTR might be a holy grail. Others will realize that, with the wonders of modern medicine, a marriage might last 50 years. No matter how great your girl is, this simply means that, for some guys, a little light infidelity here and there - without spousal knowledge or approval - will eventually become part of the glue that actually keeps the marriage / permanent LTR together in a happy way, rather than as a cross to bear.

Ironic but true. And the interesting thing is that there are women out there who know this. Smart, sophisticated women who understand that sex is sex and would welcome a guy who's up to speed on that, whether he's married or not. Married sometimes helps, in fact: it's a form of social proof that scientists call "mate-choice copying". I'm talking, for example, divorced women in their 30s with no real interest in remarrying and quite possibly no interest in children. That's a hard-nosed demographic that will go out and get sex when they want it.

Now, on this point, we're probably more in an age dynamic of 30s/40s and beyond for the man as well as the woman. I'm not suggesting that my reasoning will work for a bunch of randy teenagers or people in their 20s. But surely that's the great thing here. These skills can be for life, not just for Christmas

 

[trashKENNUT]

But that is currently forbidden in the West.
I feel so oppressed.

For everyone.

To make it simple: Keep your core, strong. You must have open conversations with all your wifes/girlfriends, for it to work, because belief is the essence of life.

The word Belief, the physical Representation of belief is Men and women

Redirect Notice

www.google.com

 

[Regal Tiger]

I think the question in the OP is a great question. It boils down, as I see it, to: what is it all for and where is it going?

I replied earlier to Regal Tiger because I think his specific phrasing of option 4 was the right phrasing. Troy, I think you've added: "You set the expectation with your main girl that you will occasionally sleep with new women." I personally, actually, wouldn't add this. (Obviously, it could be another option, option 5 say, but in that case I wouldn't want to choose it.) The thing is, if you're aiming for mono on her part, no self-respecting girl would agree to the man behaving this way; but if you're aiming for poly, she'll rightly want equal freedoms. What girl in the Western world (and maybe elsewhere) would knowingly sign up to a life of male infidelity with a commitment on her part to stay sexually as well as emotionally faithful? It won't work, IMO.

You'd be surprised what women are willing to go with. Especially if they're invested in a relationship

But also to clear any miscommunications; I do have this talk with women after around 2-3 months. I used to do open relationships both ways but it's not for me, now I'm doing one-way monogamy

In my talk, I even tell them it's a way to keep my personal freedom. I also tell them it's a way to stay attractive

I do not, in any way condone cheating. Although I fully admit that there are times when it's quietly accepted. I actually know of a real life older family who is in this position. It's basically an open secret and everybody believes the wife is in the dark. However I think she knows deep down, she just ignores it because he has quite a bit of money AND rules the roost

To go back to Regal Tiger's original phrasing, if I've got it right: "Hook up here and there but eventually finding a girl who will be sexually and emotionally loyal to me whereas I'm only emotionally loyal to her. Continuing to hook up when freebies fall in my lap or if the main ever tries to use sex as a weapon".

I can't speak for what exactly Regal Tiger meant but, for me, the strength of this version is that it allows for male infidelity that is not discussed with the main girl, and does not rest on her approval. For some men, and probably lots of women, this will trigger moral shout-outs about cheating. But I can speak to the reality of marriage, which is that it's a mixed bag. A good marriage (which I have) offers plenty of human upside: the companionship can be great. But even so, I can promise that parts of it are hard work and that the "spark" that brings a guy and a girl together is not an eternal flame. If people tell you they've kept it going for decades, that's because they've worked hard to re-ignite it in different ways over time. It's not the same rush as that first attraction or that first couple of years.

100% agree marriages are hard work to make them work. Just from watching older families like my grandparents

Plus, relationships can be the same so I can only imagine that a marriage must make it moreso

Different guys will have different motives for PU. For some, marriage or a permanent style LTR might be a holy grail. Others will realize that, with the wonders of modern medicine, a marriage might last 50 years. No matter how great your girl is, this simply means that, for some guys, a little light infidelity here and there - without spousal knowledge or approval - will eventually become part of the glue that actually keeps the marriage / permanent LTR together in a happy way, rather than as a cross to bear.

Ironic but true. And the interesting thing is that there are women out there who know this. Smart, sophisticated women who understand that sex is sex and would welcome a guy who's up to speed on that, whether he's married or not. Married sometimes helps, in fact: it's a form of social proof that scientists call "mate-choice copying". I'm talking, for example, divorced women in their 30s with no real interest in remarrying and quite possibly no interest in children. That's a hard-nosed demographic that will go out and get sex when they want it.

Now, on this point, we're probably more in an age dynamic of 30s/40s and beyond for the man as well as the woman. I'm not suggesting that my reasoning will work for a bunch of randy teenagers or people in their 20s. But surely that's the great thing here. These skills can be for life, not just for Christmas