The set up
Date was originally to be saturady night. On friday she is out with gfs to celebrate one of their b'days
i text hello at lunvh to begin the sedution
hi
did your frind have a good birthday
yes, she did indeed
good i'm glad
her last year of her 20's
needs to go out with a bang!
she apologises and asks to meet in afternoon, the girl gang are out for more b'day party fun tonight
i play it cool
she says she has to go at 5:30, is that okay or if not can we do tomorrow instead
i continue to play it cool
so it's on for 3:30 at the park in town
i get there
she texts to say she's running a few mins late (women eh?)
her - on my way, but will be a few mins late
me - Can't wait
her - ok
her ha ha
she turned up a few mins later - looking hot as fuck - a good sign i thought
The girl
35, dental nurse from Lithuania, hot as fuck! - Sunglasses, Jeans, low cut sleeveless black girltop thing, open top (?) girlshoes, red painted toenails (got an eye for detail, me, she was wearing a nice watch too, had a handbag, y’know, had all the girlstuff), 5ft 7 (?) very slighty taller than me, and hot as fuck! Did I mention that’s she’s hot as fuck, yep, she’s hot as fuck!
The guy
Cool dude, sunglasses (see, told you I was cool), dark navy jean shorts, red t-shirt (I read, I know about red stuff), grey vans, grey ankle socks, black watch - PS - clothes fit well, I’m looking good, Chanel de Blue cologne, yes Chanel
The setting
Busy Park near city centre, hot day (for Scotland) 20 degrees C - so shorts and sunglasses weather, Saturday afternoon
The date
Met at park - I give her a hug to say hi, and say we should get a coffee and an ice cream and stay here. I say it’s a beautiful day to spend with a beautiful lady. She liked that.
Overall theme
Me being talkative, asking her stuff about herself, her being very talkative, asks stuff about me.
She laughs a lot, I’m very funny.
She seems to be impressed that I know lots about stuff
Deeper dive into themes
I tell her the things I know about Lithuania (Baltic country, indy from USSR in 1990 - not sure of exact year, their football team play in green etc) she says, wow you’ve done your homework, I say no, I haven’t at all, I just know lots of useless information about random things, I’m great at pub quizzes
I tease her throughout about being ‘fancy’ because she likes the finer things in life - she enjoys this
I take several opportunities to make flirty remarks, there is defo lots of sexy talk in the air- examples below
She knows she’s hot - this is a topic of conversation - she says she can eat whatever she likes and it has no effect, all her friends are jealous, says she has good genes, I say, well you look very good in those jeans - she laughs and seems to find this outrageous, but is obviously loving it.
She tells me about a beach in Lithuania, near where she grew up, says there are loads of beautiful women in bikinis there and then says to me “you would love it there!”
Figure I’ve successfully framed myself as fuck boy and not boyfriend guy (I need to learn more about the whole frame thing - led to believe it’s important, but dont think I quite understand exactly what it is yet tbh - the persona and image you’re presenting???)
We talk about alcohol - I tell her I’m getting into wine - story about ordering lots of wine online and have lots of bottles at home, but can’t drink them myself, maybe she could help me - she’s like “back at your flat?” I plan to revisit this at a future date - obv can’t today becuz of the birthday party (not Nick Cave’s old band in Oz - no-one will get this reference)
She says during alcohol talk that she likes Guiness - well, I grew up in Northern Ireland so I love Guinness - I do big silly overreaction “wow, I love you!” and give her a big hug - she seems to enjoy this, and I talk about me liking Guinness and a mildly amusing story about this, seems to go down well, like a good pint of the black stuff!
She goes to smoke, asks if I am having one too - I say, wow you’re a very bad girl for trying to get me to smoke, that’s terrible - she laughs
There is a lot of this type of chat - she is totally loving it and laughs a lot, looks at me like she can’t believe I said that to her, a lot.
Also, she’s caught customers (patients? I dunno) at work checking out her ass when going up the stairs behind her - of course they do, it looks amazing! - Obviously, I run with this and she loves it.
She knows I’m a fun guy
Talk of yoga, so I get up (in busy park) and show her my yoga skills - I am unskilled in the art of yoga evidently, she laughs, we talk more yoga
Also, she maybe thinks I’m a bad boy
There is the smell of marijuana in the air - I smoke roll your own cigs, she also smokes - she smells the Cypress Hill theme tune, and asks is that me? I say, no I don’t know anyone to get any here.
My friendship with Snoop Dogg comes up again a little bit later on
Both have lots of fun, no dull moments
Themes of conversation
Travel, family, past relationships, alcohol, work, places she’d like to visit in Edinburgh, exercise, her interests, hopes and dreams, and more.
Mostly about her, 70/30 - she does ask me questions about myself (she’s not rude)
I tell her what I know about these local hotspots and take opportunity to suggest that we should go to these places together - not asking if she’d like to go, but saying we should go there together with the no question assumption that we will be seeing each other again
She thought it was cool I was in a band - I say well we weren’t very good so I never became a rock star - (it’s a lie, we were amazing!) do I pay guitar she asks - very badly I joke (I’m mediocre, not ‘very bad’ for anyone who’s interested), she thinks this is funny - obviously, she expects some Joe Satriani if get the chance to serenade her.
She asks have I been married. Been no relationship chat so far, she starts it with this - I say I’m almost divorced, small explanation to her, no gory details, just split last year, wasn’t working out - I ask if she’ been married - she’d been engaged but, in her words, ran away, becuz guy got super weird. We talk about that for a while.
She suggests that I’ve had lots of girlfriends since my split with the ex, I say oh yes, models, actresses, pop stars, and maybe even a dental nurse - seems to go down well (let’s hope she does!)
Asks me if I got to the gym? Good sign - I don’t look like a gym guy, but have been doing pushups, I told her, plus shoulders look good, t-shirt was worn today to show that off - maybe it worked.
Some early tests that I passed with aplomb
She didn’t want ice cream - that’s cool with me, and transition this to talk of well best not to eat some bad sugar stuff when you’re on a date with a dental nurse - cue laughs and her telling me some stuff about bad sugar stuff
She goes to pay for the coffees, I tell her no, she asks are you sure, I say, yeah, I can stretch to a few coffees (all cool like)
Park area, looking for place to sit - she says did I not bring a blanket to sit on (I have kanken rucksack with me) - I make ridiculous “oh no, I can’t believe I didn’t being a blanket” and make joke of the whole thing, she laughs
I seem to pass the girl-tests unphased
The end
5:40 ish, I suggest that the date ends because she has to go meet her friend for tonights b’day celebrations
We get up to go and to find a bin put out empty coffee cups in, she menions our first contact and that the first thisg I ever said to her was “is there a bin round here” this apparently threw here at the time (that was my intention, glad to know it worked - I say well you look like the sort of person who would know where all the good bins are - she does not find this funny at all and is highly offended and storms off in a huff, lol, don’t be daft, she find this hilarious and laughs a lot, I riff on this for more laughs
we walk down busy high street to where we would have to part ways - walk takes 10 mins - me being funny, flirty, her laughing and looking super hot, whilst loser guys on street check out her fantastic figure, pretty face and amazing ass and look at me with envy in their eyes.
During walk she mentions that her dad was meant to move to Edinburgh and she had originally intended to move to another place where he now lives, but they ended up swapping round - I said maybe if that hadn’t the case I’d have been going out with him this afternoon - she enthusiastically agrees (an odd reaction) - I think that maybe she misunderstood and thought I was suggesting that when her dad comes to town, the three of us go out somewhere. Could be wrong but I think that’s what went down
Also, finishing with a bang - lots of callbacks to earlier funnies to keep the laughter track rolling
End of the road - we have to part ways after laughing all the way down the road - busy street city centre
I’m all like, oh no that’s rubbish, you have to go, ask her if she had a good time, she says she did (I think she did too), I tell her I had a good time too,
I ask what her b’day girls friiends name is, Ingrida she replies, I say, well wish Ingrida a happy birthday from me, she says she will
I give her a hug, tell her I want another one, and then have a third - I say this is great, I could this all day, she laughs again
I say that she needs to that way, I’m going to go this way, but I’ll be very lonely (in a funny way, not like a saddo).
So she walks up the street whilst I check out her amazing ass and go “fuck me” to myself. I then walk off into the distance, and say things “jesus fucking christ, wow, well fuck me, that seems to go really well, fuck me, she’s fucking gorgeous, wow, fuck me man, holy fuck, how did I manage that, jesus, wow, shes’ super fucking hot, fuck me, and wow, I would fuck the shit out of her“
Total touch point count
5 hugs, one hand held while I helped her get up a hilly part of park (how chivalrous of me)
Then… (oh dear, there’s a then)
I don’t know if this was a bad idea or what. But here’s my thinking.
Twice during the date, she asked me what I was doing later on this evening. We know she’s out with the birthday gang. I said both times I had no plans, might look for something to go to, music stuff maybe, might go out for a walk because I don’t like sitting at home and often go out for a walk in the town at night - she likes walking too, we talked about this earlier.
So… I thought, hmmmm. I’m maybe going out for a walk in the town tonight, she knows I may do this, she knows that is a normal thing for me to do. She asked me twice what I was doing that night, and I thought things had gone very well indeed.
The plan
Nip home, get shower, put on jeans, shirt, jacket, nice sneakers (not going out on the town boots, but walking about the town sneakers), Paco Rabanne Invictus (good party boy scent - yeah Party Boy from Jackass! Remember him? Chris Pontius!!! Snappy dresser and lord of the dance) worked out the timing - so 10pm, text to say hi, ask about the birthday girl, say wish her a happy birthday from me
Hoping for reply to effect of - thanks Anrdew, she is having a great time, what are you doing, so I’d be on a walk listening to Guns n Roses on my headphones (she’s form Lithuania - Axl and Co are gonna be 1. heard of and 2. thought of as pretty cool there - it’s what I do anyway, and she knows that I smoke my cigarette with style. Appetite for Destruction btw, not Use Your Illusion 1 - Use Your Illusion 2 is much better than 1 - Debate… there is no debate. I like some of the Spaghetti Incident too - New Rose, Down on the Farm, Raw Power, Aint it Fun, that’s it though) - maybe she asks where am I, I’d be in city centre - obv hoping to get an invite to bar, where I’d have replied, great, you could buy me a pint of Guinness
At bar plan would be make a fuss of birthday girl, but obv my baby is top dog, basically be fun cool guy, and get the girl gang onside so I don’t have an vag owners as a cock block
Thoughts guys - Good idea, terrible idea, what are you thinking you idiot!
Anyway, it went down like this…
22:01 Me - Hi Gerda
22:05 Me - How's the birthday girl
and that's it!
Bit of an anti-climax really - for you guys and for me
Issues
I have no clue how to escalate and go for kiss and more
Felt that busy high street in city centre wasn’t really the place for it, and not sure if we are there yet
Sunglasses worn by both didn’t help with eye fucking - she wore hers throughout - as did I, plan was to match her with the sunnies and change to regular specs if she got rid of her shades - sun stayed out so no dice
Next steps
Andrew has another terrible idea - it’s almost as if he doesn’t want to get her pussy juice all over his face
She’s got the day off tomorrow, evidently nothing planned as Sunday was suggested as date day. she is pretty indestructible hangover wise, probs up early for a Sunday, the weather will be good, she mentioned not having been able to go to any museum/art gallery things - she likes them, I like that stuff too, I’ve been to them before - I can’t show off and be funny and learn about history and art at the same time, maybe even get to touch her bum
Look for opportunities to re-introduce the wine sharing at my place scenario
Options
might get a reply to anti-climactic text convo
or could instigate again
Words to effect of - hope last night was good, fancy going to museum today?
Good idea?
Bad idea?
I have no idea!