Reading Her First Reaction - Sticking around vs walking

[Aussiedude]

When approaching in the day I usually will throw out a compliment + something else depending on the situation. And based on her reaction we either begin chatting or she gives an excuse and says she's got to go, or she might stay and talk briefly but it's pretty obvious she's not interested. And of course there's the times where she doesn't respond and just walks away.

Nearly always when a girl's receptive her reaction right away is quite positive. Not even because of what she says, but her body language, the way she stops to talk, her facial expression, the way she looks at you etc.

Verbally she might say I look cute too, or very positively thank me and ask how I'm going or whatever.

To me it seems like her initial reaction is pretty indicative of how interested she is or not? And when approaching in the day you're really just fishing for those positive reactions to your approach & compliment which then leads to having a conversation which leads to getting her contact deets. Or sometimes an insta date.

Now this makes me think I should be more liberal with my compliments and really fish more for the girls who respond positively to me hitting on them. And be a bit more aggressive in culling the girls who don't respond positively and are more standoffish and don't seem too inclined in having a conversation.

Like now when I approach I'm more going into it with the idea like is this chick receptive or not? And if not well then she can get lost.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Pheww thank god. Finally a new post about something practical by a guy who is taking action and not just complaining or moaning!

A while ago I remember I went back in my memory to the last 15 dates I had had from daytime cold approach and tried to remember their initial first reactions as soon as I delivered my opener. And yes in all of them, their reaction right from the get go had been positive and enthusiastic. So I concluded that any girl who would end up going on a date would initially give me a positive reaction and contribute to the conversation.

But there was a catch, I was only asking for the number with women who had responded positively and had a conversation with me for at least 3-4 minutes.

However, I am sure if you have been approaching regularly you have also found many times taken girls give the best reactions and are even happy to have a conversation. It happens all the time that you have a great reaction to your approach, chat for 5 minutes and go for the close by pitching the date only to find out that she has a long term boyfriend or a fiance or even married.

This year, for a while just to get more immune to facing rejection and awkwardness, I challenged myself to go through a period, where I go for the close with every girl I open regardless of what signs she is giving me. And the results I got have forced me to reconsider my earlier conclusion.

Since April this year, I have gotten 6 dates with girls whom I thought were clearly not interested and where our conversations lasted less than 2 minutes. 2 of these girls who ended up coming on a date, our conversation lasted less than a minute.

Of course, still a majority of the girls you get on dates will be girls who respond positively and with whom conversation flows quite easily.

But from my field experience of this year alone, if I had left as soon as I did not get an initial very positive reaction, or when I felt in the conversation that she was not giving me "positive signs" I would have had 6 dates fewer.

That is why I have many times on field reports I have seen on this forum where a guy is describing conversations of 5, 10 or even 15 minutes or longer been like why the hell did you not go for the close???

And the answer I get is oh I could see she was not interested, I knew it would not work yada yada.

I know people hate feeling rejected. But you dont know what you dont know.

If you set aside your ego, develop a more experimental data collecting attitude, you will be surprised what you will find out.

And as a bonus, the more you face rejection, you develop a thicker emotional skin if you have the right attitude about it. That sounds like a win win to me.

So challenge your assumptions, let go of being "cool" and embrace the awkwardness and experiment by going for the number regardless of what signs you feel you are perceiving.

You will develop a more acute intuition and grow emotionally tougher.

Unless of course you are a beginner. Then sure for a while only stick around when the girl gives a very positive reaction.

 

[Aussiedude]

Pheww thank god. Finally a new post about something practical by a guy who is taking action and not just complaining or moaning!

A while ago I remember I went back in my memory to the last 15 dates I had had from daytime cold approach and tried to remember their initial first reactions as soon as I delivered my opener. And yes in all of them, their reaction right from the get go had been positive and enthusiastic. So I concluded that any girl who would end up going on a date would initially give me a positive reaction and contribute to the conversation.

But there was a catch, I was only asking for the number with women who had responded positively and had a conversation with me for at least 3-4 minutes.

However, I am sure if you have been approaching regularly you have also found many times taken girls give the best reactions and are even happy to have a conversation. It happens all the time that you have a great reaction to your approach, chat for 5 minutes and go for the close by pitching the date only to find out that she has a long term boyfriend or a fiance or even married.

Yes totally agree, few times I've had a great interaction only to find out that she has a boyfriend right at the end.

This year, for a while just to get more immune to facing rejection and awkwardness, I challenged myself to go through a period, where I go for the close with every girl I open regardless of what signs she is giving me. And the results I got have forced me to reconsider my earlier conclusion.

Since April this year, I have gotten 6 dates with girls whom I thought were clearly not interested and where our conversations lasted less than 2 minutes. 2 of these girls who ended up coming on a date, our conversation lasted less than a minute.

Of course, still a majority of the girls you get on dates will be girls who respond positively and with whom conversation flows quite easily.

But from my field experience of this year alone, if I had left as soon as I did not get an initial very positive reaction, or when I felt in the conversation that she was not giving me "positive signs" I would have had 6 dates fewer.

That is why I have many times on field reports I have seen on this forum where a guy is describing conversations of 5, 10 or even 15 minutes or longer been like why the hell did you not go for the close???

And the answer I get is oh I could see she was not interested, I knew it would not work yada yada.

I know people hate feeling rejected. But you dont know what you dont know.

If you set aside your ego, develop a more experimental data collecting attitude, you will be surprised what you will find out.

And as a bonus, the more you face rejection, you develop a thicker emotional skin if you have the right attitude about it. That sounds like a win win to me.

So challenge your assumptions, let go of being "cool" and embrace the awkwardness and experiment by going for the number regardless of what signs you feel you are perceiving.

You will develop a more acute intuition and grow emotionally tougher.

Unless of course you are a beginner. Then sure for a while only stick around when the girl gives a very positive reaction.

Yes well, I should say when I do not get a warm/positive reaction or even when she seems pretty not keen I still try a quick conversation opener anyway. Like I'll follow up saying like oh are you on your lunch break and try find an angle to get a conversation going.

I have noticed at times when they don't respond super positively to my initial approach/compliment but still open to chatting, and you can hook them as you chat and build rapport. Especially if conversation flows and you've got a lot in common. Her perception of you can change quite quickly.

I guest this post was really more focused when you get a negative or very uninterested reaction. Like where she doesn't really want to talk at all.

Because there were two today where right off the bat it looked like they really were not at all keen. Like just their facial expression and their reaction was kinda like I wanna be left alone kind of thing. And one of them I asked oh you running some errands, and the other I just asked hows her day. But both their response was just bad lol.

However I was happy because I noticed their reactions right away where it wasn't neutral where they'll hear what you have to say, and definitely was not positive where they like that you came up to them. And I tested trying to see if there were a conversational angle.

So I ducked pretty quick and I guess I was glad because cold approach is a numbers game and I was glad I was playing the numbers well, and not being bummed out because two girls were not interested in me.

Obviously some people will say oh no, they could of been interested. But they were not neutral reactions, they really were in negative territory. And their replies were like the half hearted I'm not interested one word response.



But I felt pretty good about it. Because

 

[Aussiedude]

But yes I do agree, you gotta sometimes push through a bit as well. That's why I always try to get a conversation going even if her reaction to my approach/compliment wasn't great. But if the attempt to have a conversation doesn't land that's usually when I'll duck and move on.

 

[AspiringStoic]

I guest this post was really more focused when you get a negative or very uninterested reaction. Like where she doesn't really want to talk at all

Of course, why would you want to stick around if you get a really negative reaction.

Like on a basic decency level, you dont want to bother people. And you dont want to view what you are doing as being a nuisance.

At the end of the day, if you are doing it right, most girls should be happy you approached them regardless of whether they are single or not and regardless of whether they give you their number etc.

After the beginner stage, if most girls are not leaving the interaction with a smile on their face, then you are doing something wrong.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

Since April this year, I have gotten 6 dates with girls whom I thought were clearly not interested and where our conversations lasted less than 2 minutes. 2 of these girls who ended up coming on a date, our conversation lasted less than a minute.

Question is, did you fuck any of these 6 girls? Or at least were they actually interested sexually on the date?

 

[AspiringStoic]

Question is, did you fuck any of these 6 girls? Or at least were they actually interested sexually on the date?

1 of them and with another one went back to her place but we did not go all the way.