FR  Ready for [Impulsive?] Sex, But Couldn't Pull

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
SUMMARY: I was trying to pull this girl (or at least isolate her) off the train later at night on a weeknight, I was pretty certain she had a personality disorder of some sort, and she said she was impulsive. I got her a bit horny and she started opening up deeply about her mental issues to me; troubled girls have done this to me before when they’re ready for sex but need a bit of extra connection. Knowing she was impulsive I wanted to influence this side of her to get off the train with me at my stop. Although from prior screening, she seemed pretty intent on going directly home to bed. But I messed up the ask when it came time, I wasn’t even close to getting it right!

APPROACH-HOOK

I met this girl after 9PM at the subway station. She was short and hipstery w a round tattoo’d face… Found her pretty cute. She hooked pretty easy and then I escalated the vibe with direct connection speak. So things were off to a good start. Logistics were alright, we were both heading in the same direction to go home. However, she had explained to me how she had just finished a 12 hour shift at work and was exhausted. From my screening I got the sense that she was intent on going straight home to bed to sleep, so I took down her number rather than inviting her on an insta-date.

GETTING ON THE TRAIN

Anyways fast forward to the current moment, 10 minutes later, and she’s standing right in front of me on the train and we’re vibing. She’s explaining to me how she’s so impulsive, but constantly regrets the decisions she makes as a result.

Whip out a quick contrast frame here:

FOG: You know, some people are spontaneous. They live in the moment and are able to have these exciting experiences. On the other hand, some people are so rigid and uptight…they live a boring life!

When this rolls off my tongue, a sexual look spreads across her face. She's gazing at me with bedroom eyes. And then all of a sudden, things get deep. She starts revealing all the dark, intimate details about her fight with her mental issues and the problems they cause. From previous experience when this happens with troubled girls, they are just about ready to have sex with me….but need a bit of extra connection to make it feel right.

FAILED ISOLATION/PULL

I want to try pulling her. But unfortunately I get into my head because my stop is coming up. Time’s running out and I’m trying to figure out how to accomplish getting her off the train while also managing the current dynamic. I almost drop the vibe but then I start to relate to her. I tell her how I was in a constant fight with my mind as well, to overcome my social conditioning. And how it’s always better to act against your social conditioning. She likes this.

Shortly after, I notice the train is slowing down. My stop is next, but I still don’t have a solid plan for what to do…..and the following comes out of my mouth:

FOG: hey, lets go for a walk.

Not surprisingly she says no, she’s gotta go home and go to bed. I don’t persist. She asks me if I can give her a hug. We say goodbye and I walk off the train…alone.

I'd approach it with more frame control next time. Starting from the contrast frame:

FOG: The most impulsive people I know are spontaneous. They live in the moment and are able to have these fulfilling experiences which give life meaning. Whether it’s following their instincts, suddenly diving into an unplanned break from reality or randomly finishing connecting with someone new…these are experiences that they will remember at the end of their life. On the other hand, some people are so rigid and uptight…they live a boring life! Me, I always get along with spontaneous people the best... [1]
HB:
*getting sexual* blabla mental problems
FOG: relating about how fighting my brain allows me have more fulfilling spontaneous experiences.
*train slows down*
FOG: hey...this is my stop. this has been great so far. but it doesn’t feel quite done yet.
HB: it really doesn't!
FOG: how about we step off the train for a sec so you can finish telling me your thoughts. I also have another important perspective to share about all this. You're gonna love it, especially the last part of it. It will take only a few minutes. [2]
HB:
Hmm I’m not sure, I’m really tired.
FOG: Remember, being spontaneous allows you to have experiences which give your life meaning. What’s more is this: hearing my perspective through your own viewpoint..the viewpoint of another self-directed person...will enable us to share a full moment of connection. [3]
*Train doors open, I look her in the eye and then turn to walk off the train.*
HB: *follows me off*

[1] Better initial framing
Set a better frame by including listing and qualification along with the contrasting. Tap into her long-term need: for her to have a good life.

[2] Improved invite
Justify the compliance ask by calling up in-the-moment needs of hers: to finish connecting, to resolve conversational tension.

[3] Frame recall/reinforce the frame
To influence her final decision, recall and reinforce the frame from step 1, and let her know that stepping off the train with me will fulfill her long term and in-the-moment needs.
 

Sully

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 24, 2021
Messages
226
SUMMARY: I was trying to pull this girl (or at least isolate her) off the train later at night on a weeknight, I was pretty certain she had a personality disorder of some sort, and she said she was impulsive. I got her a bit horny and she started opening up deeply about her mental issues to me; troubled girls have done this to me before when they’re ready for sex but need a bit of extra connection. Knowing she was impulsive I wanted to influence this side of her to get off the train with me at my stop. Although from prior screening, she seemed pretty intent on going directly home to bed. But I messed up the ask when it came time, I wasn’t even close to getting it right!

APPROACH-HOOK

I met this girl after 9PM at the subway station. She was short and hipstery w a round tattoo’d face… Found her pretty cute. She hooked pretty easy and then I escalated the vibe with direct connection speak. So things were off to a good start. Logistics were alright, we were both heading in the same direction to go home. However, she had explained to me how she had just finished a 12 hour shift at work and was exhausted. From my screening I got the sense that she was intent on going straight home to bed to sleep, so I took down her number rather than inviting her on an insta-date.

GETTING ON THE TRAIN

Anyways fast forward to the current moment, 10 minutes later, and she’s standing right in front of me on the train and we’re vibing. She’s explaining to me how she’s so impulsive, but constantly regrets the decisions she makes as a result.

Whip out a quick contrast frame here:



When this rolls off my tongue, a sexual look spreads across her face. She's gazing at me with bedroom eyes. And then all of a sudden, things get deep. She starts revealing all the dark, intimate details about her fight with her mental issues and the problems they cause. From previous experience when this happens with troubled girls, they are just about ready to have sex with me….but need a bit of extra connection to make it feel right.

FAILED ISOLATION/PULL

I want to try pulling her. But unfortunately I get into my head because my stop is coming up. Time’s running out and I’m trying to figure out how to accomplish getting her off the train while also managing the current dynamic. I almost drop the vibe but then I start to relate to her. I tell her how I was in a constant fight with my mind as well, to overcome my social conditioning. And how it’s always better to act against your social conditioning. She likes this.

Shortly after, I notice the train is slowing down. My stop is next, but I still don’t have a solid plan for what to do…..and the following comes out of my mouth:



Not surprisingly she says no, she’s gotta go home and go to bed. I don’t persist. She asks me if I can give her a hug. We say goodbye and I walk off the train…alone.

I'd approach it with more frame control next time. Starting from the contrast frame:

FOG: The most impulsive people I know are spontaneous. They live in the moment and are able to have these fulfilling experiences which give life meaning. Whether it’s following their instincts, suddenly diving into an unplanned break from reality or randomly finishing connecting with someone new…these are experiences that they will remember at the end of their life. On the other hand, some people are so rigid and uptight…they live a boring life! Me, I always get along with spontaneous people the best... [1]
HB:
*getting sexual* blabla mental problems
FOG: relating about how fighting my brain allows me have more fulfilling spontaneous experiences.
*train slows down*
FOG: hey...this is my stop. this has been great so far. but it doesn’t feel quite done yet.
HB: it really doesn't!
FOG: how about we step off the train for a sec so you can finish telling me your thoughts. I also have another important perspective to share about all this. You're gonna love it, especially the last part of it. It will take only a few minutes. [2]
HB:
Hmm I’m not sure, I’m really tired.
FOG: Remember, being spontaneous allows you to have experiences which give your life meaning. What’s more is this: hearing my perspective through your own viewpoint..the viewpoint of another self-directed person...will enable us to share a full moment of connection. [3]
*Train doors open, I look her in the eye and then turn to walk off the train.*
HB: *follows me off*

[1] Better initial framing
Set a better frame by including listing and qualification along with the contrasting. Tap into her long-term need: for her to have a good life.

[2] Improved invite
Justify the compliance ask by calling up in-the-moment needs of hers: to finish connecting, to resolve conversational tension.

[3] Frame recall/reinforce the frame
To influence her final decision, recall and reinforce the frame from step 1, and let her know that stepping off the train with me will fulfill her long term and in-the-moment needs.
What style of game do you use?
Is it all deep diving and NLP things?
Or do you also incorporate teasing, push-pull, cocky funny?
 

fog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 20, 2015
Messages
1,533
Location
peru
What style of game do you use?
Is it all deep diving and NLP things?
Or do you also incorporate teasing, push-pull, cocky funny?

in general i will tailor my game to the girl.

like for example, if shes a similarity girl; ill do deep diving. and if shes an arousal girl, ill do push-pull.

however, i prefer to game similarity girls.

similarity vs arousal
 
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