Rejected by Reconnecting

[JacobPalmer]

Situation:

Had a great first date with a girl, didn't sleep with her though, but she stayed the night and was very into me crawling all over me during the night while sleeping, but I couldn't get past LMR. The morning was good too, we had fun and exchanged #s to set up a future meet. This was on Sunday night/Monday morning.

We text a bit/flirting etc and I ask if she's free the tonight. She said she wasn't but suggested tomorrow instead (which is a good sign). I couldn't do tomorrow as I had work, and she couldn't do Wednesday as she was getting her nails done later that night, so we opted for Sunday night as that was the next free day for both of us, and we last spoke on Tuesday.

Anyway, today (Friday) I text her again that Sunday won't work but I'm free Monday or Tuesday. And then she drops a bomb on me.

Her: So.. I'll be honest now. I reconnected with someone this past week and I think I want to explore where it could go.
(fuckkkkk)
Me: Ahh, that sucks, was looking forward to getting to know you better. But I'm happy for you
Me: All the best
Her: Thanks you as well
Me:If things don't work out, feel free to shoot me a text and perhaps we'll reconnect
Me: Bye XXX
Her: Sounds good, bye bye

So I'm pretty choked as I felt as if we had a great connection, and she was interested because she asked me to hang out again. So obviously the big issue is that I should have slept with her/gone on a second date with her quicker, as life obviously intervened before we could meet up again.

My question is: Is there a good way to handle this type of rejection, where she says she wants to pursue someone else? Or is what I did the best way?

 

[NewBeeWinner]

JacobPalmer,

Hey bro. Sucks to have this happen - I've had this happen a few times with girls.

Like you said, not getting past the LMR was likely your downfall. Anyways, I think doing what you did was the best response - but with one quick critique:

You: Ahh, that sucks, was looking forward to getting to know you better. But I'm happy for you
You: All the best

This was good. Shows you're sad you didn't get to know her more, but you're cool and OK if she moves on. Abundance mindset. But then..

You: If things don't work out, feel free to shoot me a text and perhaps we'll reconnect

To be frank, needy. You're now invested more than her and she's looking to pursue another guy - not good. Just shot yourself in the foot here as now she has the control.

Move on to the next one bro You're a man of options.

NBW

 

[sumwunimetonce]

At this point it basically f*cked, she has almost certainly slept with him and is telling you in no uncertain terms that it's over.

The reality is good girls juggle options, let me give you an example of what happened to me

Meet girl
Girl goes on vacation for a week to meet friend, we text quite a bit
Amazing first date but, real connection but nothing happened
Girl totally flakes
Find out that the old friend she was on vacation with was ex bf of 5 years who proposed to her and there is obviously still lots of feeling there (and is very good looking)

She was being a totally player, could have been love BUT timing was off, even if I had given her the best date in the world I think I would have got a kiss on the lips and forced and explanation that she is still working things out with her ex.

So, don't sweat it, it was lost before you even played the game, you will take lots of motivation from this because there will be other girls like this where the timing works for you.

As for the texts, last part was weak frame and a bit supplicating

Her: So.. I'll be honest now. I reconnected with someone this past week and I think I want to explore where it could go.
(fuckkkkk)
Me: Ahh, that sucks, was looking forward to getting to know you better. But I'm happy for you

Maybe could have included something like this ...

You: Perfect ... call me when you're ready for the affair (winky face)

Obviously she will not but its the right frame

 

[JacobPalmer]

Yeah that's a much better frame to have, thanks! I appreciate the feedback. I kindof knew nothing I'd say could turn it around, but I would have preferred ending on a higher note. Oh well.

 

[Fuck This]

Well what would you have done in that situation if you were her?

It is not a problem if you too have options...

 

[DarkKnight]

Pretty solid advice on this subject by the other posters. I would not beat myself up too much on this, it's obvious she was juggling her options in other words :not your fault. You should not have positioned yourself as a backup plan though. You're basically sacrificing your happines for hers, I say fuck that.

I do not know about you guys, but if I had a connection based setup with a girl and for whatever reason some other guy gets in between the fun is spoiled for me and I replace. I had happen that girls chased me hard down the line (actually going through this right now), but it feels like selling yourself out. Unless you saw the girl as a random hookup. Doesn't matter then.

Always go for new options and replace.

 

[Overdoze]

You could also choose to roll of her points w a bit of boldness challenge

for me similar to what Sum says - the "ok sure hun come back later if it doesnt work out" is a weak frame. passive nexting is meh and i would never write something like that. Sometimes (often) girls need to feel your desire for them. they will make up shit to get it.

you have to realise the other guy is just another option despite what she writes. you can change that w. game sometimes. Sometimes not.

like respond:
"i would highly recommend you to drop him, dress up in something ravishing and come by me tonight instead. I outrank most men by far"

add or remove the smiley dependent on where you are w her/ choice of tension level you wanna create.

shit like that goes straight into their panties
no matter you win points for persistence and confidence

field tested many times - to boldly challenge their "plans".

 

[JacobPalmer]

Yup. all solid posts guys, thank you. Not sure what I was thinking at the time texting her like that.

Fuckthis - If I was in her position....well personally I wouldn't get back together with an ex, but I know what you're saying haha.

Darkknight - I definitely beat myself up initially, but I'm ok now. Was just bummed at the time as I thought it was in the bag...don't count your chickens obviously.

Overdose - agree that the passive texting needs to go, and that yeah he is an option which can be changed with game. One thing I did ask her after this text exchange was what changed, and she said nothing changed, it's just that she's known him longer and she already has a strong connection to him. Tough to beat that argument unless your game is 100% incredible. Which I think mine was at the time, but I should have tried to break LMR or found some way to meet up again way sooner, which is sometimes a problem when I'm busy, as dates are sometimes a week apart in the beginning. But lesson learned.