Rumination Over Sex Or No Sex With Friend

[PeacockMan]

My thoughts are split:

I wish I had sex when she gave me the clear opportunity
I am glad I didn't because it was the wrong thing to do

In the thread: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/a-lost-female-friend.32095/

I was detailed on the situation regarding my female friend. Some of the opinions expressed was that I'm a nice guy who low key was waiting for his shot with her. However I'm here to say again that's not the case. It's been a month since she has ended the friendship (for the 3rd time this year) and I don't know if she is going to give me another chance.

I've always avoided ambiguity in relationships because I do not know how to get back once certain boundaries are passed. I don't have sex with female friends because if I do, I end up in the very situation I am in now.

There is a lot of emotional whiplash that took place:

- She invited herself to my house
- Held onto my penis wanting sex and I didn't because I allowed her to come over as a friend first, and while I knew sex could happen she still lives with her partner and I'm the godfather for her 2 kids so it felt WRONG to push for sex in the moment.
- She asked me to do a STD test so when she comes back over, we can fuck with no condoms and I did the STD test quickly
- She sent me nudes of her pussy while masturbating and we had virtual sex with her moaning my name
- After all that she went home she got threatened by her partner that she can never leave him and so she cannot come back over

I've never been in this situation before and as much as I want to be her platonic female friend again, it's hard. There was a time she was so open with me she disclosed how she likes when her partner pushes his dick down her throat and ejaculates on her face...And from the moment we crossed the sexual boundaries, I've moved from a state of happiness for her to low key jealousy. I have seen too much and know too much it's like I don't know how to view her as a friend anymore.

The 2 guys on her side are currently talking to her to tell her to unblock me so we can work this out. However I need to get 2 things straight:

1. From a moral standpoint, did I make the right decision NOT to have sex with her knowing the consequences? At the same time I DO regret not doing it then if I knew this would have been the outcome. My dick has been limp ever since. I had a hookup last week with a new woman and I could not get an erection for her because I'm thinking of this female friend. Whenever I watch porn, it now disgusts me because all I can think about is this female friend and how we did not hook up. @Skills I understand your point but I'm not interested in the fact you had sex with female friends and go back to being just friends, I don't engage in those games, not my personality and it's what has caused this entire distress. If I break up with a woman, she is out my life, but in this case she was a FRIEND first, a friend I now have sexual feelings for.

2. If she gives me another chance at FRIENDSHIP only, how to do I condition my mind to accept that NOTHING sexual will ever happen between us again? There is no point in me trying anymore to move to sex again as she would just cut me off again. And chances are our friendship will NEVER return to the same level of closeness as before. The biggest thing keeping me stuck on her is I played a significant role to her 2 kids who I love so dearly so the typical advice of just move on is not so simple. Everytime I think of her kids my heart beats with love for them too. And i remember the days when we spent time together and we have had the most loving platonic friendship I've ever experienced in all my life.

Good friends dont come around often for me like the friendship we shared and my thoughts are messing me up.

 

[topcat]

The biggest thing keeping me stuck on her is I played a significant role to her 2 kids who I love so dearly so the typical advice of just move on is not so simple

How sweet. Look at you ruminating over the matured cum of another man…

How much does he pay you to do this?

How much does she pay you to do this?

How lucky she is to have two fathers for her children, one of which she never had to fuck, cook or clean for the favour…

Why don’t you go and make your own children given you love them so much?

Do you really enjoy taking on the responsibility of another man’s unprotected sex for free? Does it truly warm your spirit?

Answer honestly. The cure for your rumination is in there somewhere.

 

[PeacockMan]

How sweet. Look at you ruminating over the matured cum of another man…

How much does he pay you to do this?

How much does she pay you to do this?

How lucky she is to have two fathers for her children, one of which she never had to fuck, cook or clean for the favour…

Why don’t you go and make your own children given you love them so much?

Do you really enjoy taking on the responsibility of another man’s unprotected sex for free? Does it truly warm your spirit?

Answer honestly. The cure for your rumination is in there somewhere.

Everything in life is not about what I gain and I typically would keep it to birthday and Christmas gifts for the kids. Outside of that we were great friends. She's the only friend I've had where:

- I could call her at midnight and vent if something bad happened
- We would just chill and watch movies together
- We would tell each other we love each other (platonic) this was before November 2025 when in my head she was JUST MY FRIEND
- She was my ride or die, always had my back no matter what

Thing is my mind is fucking me up with all that I know now, it doesn't feel right to force myself back to platonic is what I am saying. I've always kept people in buckets:

- Platonic friend
- Lover
- Coworker, boss
- Acquaitance

But never has it ever become so complicated.

 

[topcat]

Everything in life is not about what I gain and I typically would keep it to birthday and Christmas gifts for the kids. Outside of that we were great friends. She's the only friend I've had where:

- I could call her at midnight and vent if something bad happened
- We would just chill and watch movies together
- We would tell each other we love each other (platonic) this was before November 2025 when in my head she was JUST MY FRIEND
- She was my ride or die, always had my back no matter what

Thing is my mind is fucking me up with all that I know now, it doesn't feel right to force myself back to platonic is what I am saying. I've always kept people in buckets:

- Platonic friend
- Lover
- Coworker, boss
- Acquaitance

But never has it ever become so complicated.

Then cut her off mate. The forum isnt the place for countless ruminations on abusive 'platonic' friends. Value yourself more and get a life...

 

[PeacockMan]

Then cut her off mate. The forum isnt the place for countless ruminations on abusive 'platonic' friends. Value yourself more and get a life...

Why is no one able to give advice on how to stop letting the past sexual history between us keep my mind stuck in between wanting platonic friendship and a relationship with her? Half of the problems is because of what she did pushing things past platonic and then pulling back.

The other half is me no longer seeing her platonic. I look in my phone and there is her pussy while she screams my name moaning. I haven't been able to FORGET that happened and worse that we did not fuck at least ONCE.

I just need to know how to see her platonic again. I even said to her maybe I need to go fuck 10 women and get it out my system. But I'm not in a position right now to do anything like that.

 

[topcat]

The other half is me no longer seeing her platonic. I look in my phone and there is her pussy while she screams my name moaning. I haven't been able to FORGET that happened and worse that we did not fuck at least ONCE.

I just need to know how to see her platonic again. I even said to her maybe I need to go fuck 10 women and get it out my system. But I'm not in a position right now to do anything like that.

Brother are you trolling? Delete the pictures. Delete her number. Go get a hobby.

I swear this is the user formally known as @Troy. The similaritites are uncanny...

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Why is no one able to give advice on how to stop letting the past sexual history between us keep my mind stuck in between wanting platonic friendship and a relationship with her? Half of the problems is because of what she did pushing things past platonic and then pulling back.

The other half is me no longer seeing her platonic. I look in my phone and there is her pussy while she screams my name moaning. I haven't been able to FORGET that happened and worse that we did not fuck at least ONCE.

I just need to know how to see her platonic again. I even said to her maybe I need to go fuck 10 women and get it out my system. But I'm not in a position right now to do anything like that.

Fuck other girls. Then you won't have any problems seeing her as just as Friend.

 

[PeacockMan]

Brother are you trolling? Delete the pictures. Delete her number. Go get a hobby.

I swear this is the user formally known as @Troy. The similaritites are uncanny...

I’m here for advice on the topic I posted. I’m not going to engage in identity speculation. I’ll leave it here.

Fuck other girls. Then you won't have any problems seeing her as just as Friend.

Before she blocked me I did ask her if she can just give me some time to go do that and get back to her and she said to move on. I had a hookup last week and could not get an erection either.

 

[topcat]

Ok I came on here looking for help, now I'm being classed as someone else. I'm not going to argue with you. I'll take a step back from further responding to your replies and who is Troy?

Classed? you know you speak like a caribbean person right? just like him I'll leave you alone now, but your shitting up the forum..

 

[Kshatrap A.V.]

Before she blocked me I did ask her if she can just give me some time to go do that and get back to her

🫪

 

[PeacockMan]

but your shitting up the forum..

If that's the opinion you have, I'll go book another session with one of the coaches or a therapist. The only persons who used to ring my phone before this situation was my:

Mom
Dad
this female friend

And my parents have already heard the story so I've decided not to share anymore with them. So guess I'll go back to a paid solution if it's going to be a problem here with a question. It's not easy sitting a room every day working with multiple clients and not seeing anyone else to talk to.

Biggest lessons from all this is:

1. Ensure to never have ambiguity again and NEVER cross into sexual territory with a female friend
2. NEVER accept the godfather role... in fact I might even end the godfather role with everyone else I accepted. I treat my godfather role as highly as if I'm the kids actual father and when I love them kids, I love them like my own blood. So I'll never accept another role where it can be taken away based on how the parents feel. I will make my own offspring

 

[topcat]

If that's the opinion you have, I'll go book another session with one of the coaches or a therapist. The only persons who used to ring my phone before this situation was my:

Mom
Dad
this female friend

And my parents have already heard the story so I've decided not to share anymore with them. So guess I'll go back to a paid solution if it's going to be a problem here with a question. It's not easy sitting a room every day working with multiple clients and not seeing anyone else to talk to.

We aren’t therapists bruv. We’re here to discuss seduction and self improvement to mastery. This is your second such post about this girl within the month. You were given countless good advice in the first and have done near nothing to apply the advice taken onboard. Instead your spewing more helplessness into the void hoping a sympathetic ear will be spared you. I assume this is the same thing you did to this “friend” of yours.

This isn’t a place for you to spiral and suck energy from forum contributors to sooth your mental anguish. That is selfish and as i said brings down the energy of the forum.

 

[PeacockMan]

We aren’t therapists bruv. We’re here to discuss seduction and self improvement to mastery. This is your second such post about this girl within the month. You were given countless good advice in the first and have done near nothing to apply the advice taken onboard. Instead your spewing more helplessness into the void hoping a sympathetic ear will be spared you. I assume this is the same thing you did to this “friend” of yours.

This isn’t a place for you to spiral and suck energy from forum contributors to sooth your mental anguish. That is selfish and as i said brings down the energy of the forum.

The only question that no one has been able to answer is how do I clean my mind of all the past sexual history we have so I can be her platonic friend again? Before we blurred the lines, we were just friends. This is probably the only question I should have asked... and moving on or fucking other girls is not a viable solution. I just need to know how to control my mind. That's it. I've nothing more to add if I can't get an answer to this.

She's not your friend.

If your father, nephew, son (whatever close male family member you have and feel close to) was treated by a woman as she has treated you (especially the bad things) what would you advise them to do?

I did some bad things too. What exactly bad has she done where as friends we cannot work it out? Aren't people who are good friends supposed to be able to work through arguments and disagreements and move back to being stronger friends? There seems to be a culture shift where the moment someone does something bad, the advice is cut them off and move on.

 

[topcat]

The only question that no one has been able to answer is how do I clean my mind of all the past sexual history we have so I can be her platonic friend again? Before we blurred the lines, we were just friends. This is probably the only question I should have asked... and moving on or fucking other girls is not a viable solution. I just need to know how to control my mind. That's it. I've nothing more to add if I can't get an answer to this.

She's not your friend.

If your father, nephew, son (whatever close male family member you have and feel close to) was treated by a woman as she has treated you (especially the bad things) what would you advise them to do? would you encourage them to befriend her?

Also..

She's blocked you and doesn't want to speak to you. Are you being a good friend by trying to coerce her into being your friend?

I'm not wasting my time on this anymore. You need to find your balls..

 

[POB]

Locked because OP got plenty advice on his first post.