she's really upset, blocked me from social media but not on whatsapp

[blas12345]

=========TL;DR==========
dated girl for 3 weeks, things going crazy fast, LTR discussions, saw each other 7-8 times, each time her sleeping at my place except from one lunch date. pretty intense.
I "think" I fucked it up by going too rough during sex despite her saying days before she did not like it. condoms we bought were making me feel NOTHING so I kinda went deep and rough, and I'm afraid she hated it. she went cold and distant from there. next morning I found myself blocked from all social media except WhatsApp. she's reading my messages asking what happened, if we can talk, that I want to apologize for anything wrong I've done. she read them all quickly after, but giving me the silent treatment. I think she's mad, but won't give me any signs of anything, one thing is sure, she showed pretty much every sign of being super into me. we were planning holidays together already. I'm freaking out cause this is the only girl in a long time (>3 years) that I'm really into, despite having dated my faire share after breaking up with my last ex. not sure how to go from here besides giving space, expect her call sometime, and not do anything stupid. but the temptation to do stupid things is too high

=========Full story========
met this gorgeus one a restaurant, things went incredibly fast from there. only known her for 3 weeks but went on dates, social gatherings, and even did me personal favors already like bringing me stuff from home I forgot. she slept at my place 7 times already

been dating a lot in the last 3 years but it's the first time I've fallen again for someone like this, since my ex.

things went going well and I think it's clear she was super into me. we were already planning holidays, and a weekend trip after our "first month" together, like really starting to discuss LTR stuff.

and on sunday I fucked things up. before that, she made a clear statement after the first time we had sex (which was "getting to know you" sex) that she didn't like it rough.

we bought condoms with a special lube that don't irritate her, and fact is they killed pretty much every sensation I could feel.. so we went doggystyle and I kinda forgot her words , so I went for it deep and rough so I could at least feel something. she didn't complain in that moment but after we finished, she suddenly became cold and distant.

then had dinner, spent the night, but I could tell things went sideways, only I couldn't realize why so I my mind was going crazy, I asked multiple times what was going on and she gave me the "it's ok I'm just tired" canned response.

she left next morning with a cold good bye, and later when at work I realized she had blocked me from all social media. I started panicking (wouldn't have for a girl I didn't care much about)

sent 3 texts asking what happened, that I at least deserved an explanation, and that I would apologize for anything I could've done wrong but for that I'd first need to know what it was. she read them all quickly after, but no reply.

it wasn't until last night that I realized it was probably due to going so rough and she maybe hated it but couldn't just tell me. I'm not 100% sure but honestly I have absolutely no reasons to believe it was anything else I did, cause earlier that afternoon we were laughing and fucking planning holidays together.

I sent her a new message saying that "I think I know what made you so upset, and if that's the case I really want to apologize to you, can't stop thinking about it" - without being precise about WHAT, since I want to spark some curiosity on her end to reach and find out. also if she's mad about something else (unlikely), it's a risk to assume it was just for the rough sex

so anyway I'm afraid she freaked out, she's only known me for 3 weeks, I don't know what her sexual past is, and she is, giving me the silent treatment.

what's interesting is that she did block me on social media but not on whatsapp, which makes me believe she's still leaving some window open - if she really didn't want to hear from me again she would have blocked whatsapp too...

and fact is, I wasn't blind, no girl that wouldn't be as much into me as I was into her would have spent so much time with me in just 3 weeks, spending the night every single time we saw each other.

I don't think she will just disappear forever, but I'm having a hard time dealing with the anxiety of her not replying and me not knowing what else to do aside be ready for apologizing and ask for a second chance, if things went really bad in her eyes.

I know I shouldn't keep texting and give her some space, but I'm too freaked out to have screwed things with the only girl I truly liked in 3 years of nonsense dating will really average-looking/traumatized/uninteresting girls and honestly don't want to spend another 3 years before this can happen again.

any advice on where to go from here is appreciated, and thanks for reading

 

[JacobPalmer]

That's pretty harsh of her to not talk to you, but you're making a fool of yourself by apologising so much, and you don't even know what for. Stop that asap. You have no idea why she's mad and acting like this. So what you're going to text her is this, because you need to reassert yourself as a man, and she's playing games.

"Hey XXX, not sure what's up with you lately as I really enjoyed seeing you the past few weeks. I'd appreciate it if you'd talk to me and tell me what's going on, as I do care for you. But if you're not interested I can stop trying."

And that's it. No more texting her after this. She'll most likely respond with something. Or she won't and then you move on.

 

[blas12345]

Hey man, thanks for reading and this is the kind of light I was needing.

I don't feel like it's over, but I believe I'm starting to see she's got the silent treatment as her default coping mechanism when in distress and it's really lame. She keeps avoiding contact despite getting online on whatsapp every 30 minutes or so. I'll wait a day or two and then send that one last message. She is fucking gorgeus and sweet and it really pains me cause we clicked in so much stuff but if this is default behavior then she's not worth the headache, whatever the outcome she really needs to work on her coping mechanisms and communication skills

 

[Fuck This]

you have been soft nexted....you are being disciplined. If she is open to reconciliation she will reach back out.

 

[blas12345]

you have been soft nexted....you are being disciplined. If she is open to reconciliation she will reach back out.

I was not familiar with this concept, pretty interesting although it sounds like the most narcissistic form of manipulative silent treatment and I dont know this girl enough yet (just 3 weeks of really intense dating) but doesn't sound like her, dont think she's got the skills or knowledge to pull of such thing deliberately, unless if done subconciously ?

 

[blas12345]

a few minutes after my last post, she finally blocked me from whatsapp, despite myself not doing anything more than what I said.

it's impossible this was anything like a softnext or any manipulative shit

she mentioned her past relationship being pretty abusive, I guess some other childhood stuff traumatized her to the point of requiring to end things in this fashion.

there's no way she's got the street smarts to play such sophisticated game on me, specially coming from a traditional/conservative family from a mid-size town in colombia.

it's a tough one to press the next button on, she was hot af. I think I need to re-read a bunch of material on here because this recent story caught me off guard several times and put my life upside down because of developing fucking feelings

anything you can recommend for me to read on what seems to have happened, please share.

thanks