Should I (ever) go on a second date?

[razir110]

Hi everyone!

So I met a girl in a cafe and took her contact. A week later we went on a date. It went well, there was phisical contact between us, funny witty conversations, etc.
I invited her home and she started resisting with a very elaborate story about how she has no time. After insisting for like 5 times, she said she had to work tomorrow bla bla so I took her home. I didn't even want to go for the kiss because if I meet her again I want to go for the kiss in my place

It is true that she mentioned several times that we can meet again and then go to my place with more time. But... come on. If she were so much into me would she "have to work tomorrow"? Of course not, in my opinion.

Do girls hold sex with a guy they are interested in FOR SEX?.. Or maybe she sees me a a boyfriend or something?

So how do you guys go around these ones? Do you schedule a second date if there was no sex on the first?

Another question: Would you go for the kiss on the first date when you know there will be no sex? Or would you leave it for the second date in optimal conditions? (in your place)?

Best!

 

[ThePhoenix]

Some quick thoughts:

Firstly, how did you invite her home? I would use some innocuous excuse, such as something you want to show her. It helps her overcome the fear that she is being a slut.

I think it was wise you didn't try to kiss her. It seems like a lot of less experienced guys look at "the kiss" as a big, important step somewhere in the middle of the process, whereas I think it's much better to hold off. I don't have lots of experience but I've gotten girls home and into my bedroom on zero kissing. Have a look here for a useful guide.

As for bothering to try a second date? I would certainly try. Your chances are less, I think, but I have gotten a girl home for a second date where she indicated she could not come home with me the first date. Mind you in that case, second date was actually just directly to my home. That wasn't hard but it's important to realize I had already planted the idea for her to come to see something I got her interested in.

Now, I didn't suffer repeated refusals. That might have cemented negative compliance (she has become used to refusing you).

Don't chase her if she keeps resisting the second meet, but certainly do at least try to set it up. Make sure you get her home the next time, and if you didn't, try using an excuse such as showing her some art or music play list or some collection or cooking with her or a board game or something like that.

Cheers,
Phoenix

 

[razir110]

@ThePhoenix

Thank you for the reply,

I invited her home over a trivial excuse, I've done this loads of times and mostly it works. This time there was just too much resistance. It's interesting she mentioned it during the date in the middle of the conversation (that she had to work on something tonight for the next morning etc.)

I also think I did well not go for the kiss here. I really had nothing to get out of it in my opinion. But maybe I'm wrong

Will see if there is a second date first lol.