Should you go out everyday?

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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836
To get good, yes you should be going out 4-5 times a week and schedule it as a routine.

The reason is that you'll consistently start hitting your sticking points over and over again, see them, and everytually you'll be able to work through them as you test new methods.

Going out 1-2 times a week is fine too but it's better when you already have the skillset rather than when you're building it - the lack of consistency means slower growth.
Thing is most places suck every day of the week except Friday and Saturday. Fridays actually kinda suck too.

but other days, there are no attractive women there or there aren’t any people there at all.

Most places have people go on the weekends. I don’t even think clubs are open sun-wed.

So that would leave Thursdays which no one goes out and I have gone out a lot those days, and Friday and Saturday.

Plus it isn’t cheap and takes a lot of money.

How long should one go to clubs 4-5 days a week until they can scale back? What is the main goal to reach in order to go out less?
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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@Sub-Zero

Hey man you don;t need to be so hard on yourself. No one here wants you to leave or stop interacting with the community man. Every one is rooting for you to break out of your rut man!

Even the guys you think are talking shit really there just being a little over top in hopes to inspire you to do something different and break out.

There isn't anyone on here that is hoping you fail or stay stuck. So you definitely shouldnt just leave ship.

All any of us wants to see is to have you report back on any advice you've been given and tell us what happened and what worked/didnt work when you tried out the advice.

What sucks as a mentor is when you plow a bunch of time into helping someone and they either don;t use the advice or don;t report back on how it went but are still complaining and asking the same questions about being stuck at the same problem. You have to see it from our perspective.

Now that said Elder Price makes a good point on the doing the same thing expecting different results aspect.

If you're going out semi regularly like you say you are and getting stuck at the same point everytime then there is 100% something wrong you;re doing or missing. You've never really posted regular field reports detailing your approaches and singling out the exact point where things went off the rails.

Ive seen you post a question here or there but the way you detail your interactions is always pretty general vague.

I honestly feel like if you posted 5 really detailed field reports of exactly what happened and came up with a gameplan to get to the next level we could get you to advance in progress.

But you have this weird attitude of "I don't need to write field reports because I know what I;m doing wrong, and really I;m doing everything right but these girls all play games and I can figure it out on my own but I want to vent about how unfair it is" Im not really sure how thats a helpful outlook for any of us.

It would be one thing if you;ve posted loads of field reports and asked detailed questions about all your sticking points in field (most of your questions revolve around non infield specific questions) and had gone out diligently to try every single piece of advice you received 5 times and then reported back on exactly whats worked and what hasn't.

But you've never done that, other than ask the odd question here and there and then go radio silent as to if you ever tried out the advice.

It would be super awesome to see you on here posting field reports regularly (even if they're bad interactions) and being more positive getting after it like "Im determined to figure out what I need to change and try differently to get just the next step further in taking a girl home from the club".

You've got to take responsibility for your situation and always come back to the man in the mirror when things aren't going wrong.

When you admit the problem is YOU only then can you take back the control to change the only thing you can control... Yourself.

So I understand if you need to take a break from pickup or a breather but come back to it.

And when you come back to it do it with a winners attitude, get to posting a field report for every major interaction in nightgame, or online dating, or daygame and just implement the best advice and report back until you make that breakthrough.

But if you want to get out of this rut you've got to take responsibility for putting yourself in the rut and then change things up entirely in your approach, attitude, forum habits, and reinvent a new and improve Sub-Zero.

We're all pulling for you and are on board to help you however we can but you've got to be willing to make some big changes to help yourself first.

-Rob
I’ve posted field reports on online dating on here before. One for example is when I set up a date and didn’t know where to take her, but thought of a hotel. So I asked on here should I do a hotel or try her house, they say hotel, but not only hotel, they said to actually pay for the hotel in advance to bring her back smoothly.

I was against it, but I agreed that it made sense because that would be easier, but little did they know, the chick who showed so much interest in me, flaked and I wasted money on a hotel by doing that in advance when I know I shouldn’t have done that.

I will not get a hotel before a date with a girl, it made no fuckin sense, but I took advice and was out of money because of that shit.

I made another FR about a chick who I got her number and went radio silent when I asked her out.

Just last week, I didn’t exactly make a field report, but a poster was asking me when was the last time I went out to talk to girls, guess what? I went out that night and had two chicks approach me showing me a lot of attraction, but the poster didn’t say anything when I told them that, but they sure were trying to question me and when I show proof that I put in work, I hear not a peep.

I’m also not fond of posting multiple FR about all of the times I strike out. Does nothing for me but make me feel like I wasted my time.

Some guys do the same shit, but it doesn’t work out the same. Some people just get good results no matter what.

I’ll post some FR or PM you about my outings a few times.

I appreciate you being here, so I’ll try more.
 
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Zanardi

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Thing is most places suck every day of the week except Friday and Saturday. Fridays actually kinda suck too.

but other days, there are no attractive women there or there aren’t any people there at all.

Most places have people go on the weekends. I don’t even think clubs are open sun-wed.

So that would leave Thursdays which no one goes out and I have gone out a lot those days, and Friday and Saturday.

Plus it isn’t cheap and takes a lot of money.

How long should one go to clubs 4-5 days a week until they can scale back? What is the main goal to reach in order to go out less?

You can always daygame. It's completely free and you are location independent.
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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You can always daygame. It's completely free and you are location independent.
I feel you, but with night game I have more women to talk to and can learn faster. Not against day game being apart of it. From what I read, it was recommended to go out to baclubs, don’t know if I read wrong or not.

Im sure day game would be included too, but I don’t live in a big city where I can approach many chicks and the volume isn’t there.

But if 2 nights and 2 days work, then maybe I can do that instead.
 

Chrance

Cro-Magnon Man
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I change my mind. Just go out as much as possible. Anything involving when to go out is excuse making.
 

Mr.Rob

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1,902
Sub man I understand your a bit frustrated about being in a rut but I tell you the truth my brother... If you cannot choose a more positive attitude and outlook you will not be able to get out of said rut.

This is exactly what we were discussing a year ago (which it seemed like at first you made a few positive changes but have fallen off). The first step to getting different results to have different thoughts running through your head.

Case in point:

So I asked on here should I do a hotel or try her house, they say hotel, but not only hotel, they said to actually pay for the hotel in advance to bring her back smoothly.

I was against it, but I agreed that it made sense because that would be easier, but little did they know, the chick who showed so much interest in me, flaked and I wasted money on a hotel by doing that in advance when I know I shouldn’t have done that.

Instead of focusing on the money you lost, did you ask 20 questions detailing everything in great detail as to what led up to this girl flaking?

I made another FR about a chick who I got her number and went radio silent when I asked her out.

If no one replied to your FR did you post a question detailing the situation and asking for advice as to why she went radio silent?

I went out that night and had two chicks approach me showing me a lot of attraction, but the poster didn’t say anything when I told them that, but they sure were trying to question me and when I show proof that I put in work, I hear not a peep.

Well to be fair the girls did the work in the instance approaching you no?

Anyway did you post a FR detailing the interaction and ask 20 questions to get feedback on where exactly things went wrong here?

Yeah I've seen you very occaisonally post a FR asking a question here and their typically not very detailed when you do post them.

I’m also not fond of posting multiple FR about all of the times I strike out. Does nothing for me but make me feel like I wasted my time.

Another way to think about it is your wasting your time by NOT writing FR dooming yourself to make the same mistakes over and over again without detailing what went wrong and getting feedback and advice on how to improve.

Some guys do the same shit, but it doesn’t work out the same. Some people just get good results no matter what.

Not true.

I was one of those people when I first joined that DIDNT get good results no matter what.

I posted field reports detailing my interactions in GREAT detail for about 2 1/2 years straight which allowed me to go from getting nothing but flakes and unable to pull off one night stands to being able to become above average at this stuff.

Even after 3+ years and putting in TONS of work I was still never at the level of the advanced guys on here who had twice or three times as many lays in that same period of time.

Compare that to a guy like Richard (an awesome guy who's been a huge part of the GC community) who joined the same time as me and was posting back to back lay reports in just a month and a half.

Yeah some guys have it easier. Some guys have a harder path where the results dont come as quick or as consistently.

But every guy I've seen post regular field reports and take massive action always is able to improve slowly and steady. And if they keep that up they get to experience results.

I think the next step of your journey Sub is to start thinking more positively about what YOU can control, take responsibility for not getting the results you've been after, and then after you regroup hit it up hard and change things up 100% differently than what you've been doing.

I want to see you on these forums like I don't hardly recognize you in the way you talk/think/do.

I want to see a new and improved Sub-Zero who isn't focused on what is going wrong but what he can do differently to get the results he's after.
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Sub man I understand your a bit frustrated about being in a rut but I tell you the truth my brother... If you cannot choose a more positive attitude and outlook you will not be able to get out of said rut.

This is exactly what we were discussing a year ago (which it seemed like at first you made a few positive changes but have fallen off). The first step to getting different results to have different thoughts running through your head.

Case in point:



Instead of focusing on the money you lost, did you ask 20 questions detailing everything in great detail as to what led up to this girl flaking?



If no one replied to your FR did you post a question detailing the situation and asking for advice as to why she went radio silent?



Well to be fair the girls did the work in the instance approaching you no?

Anyway did you post a FR detailing the interaction and ask 20 questions to get feedback on where exactly things went wrong here?

Yeah I've seen you very occaisonally post a FR asking a question here and their typically not very detailed when you do post them.



Another way to think about it is your wasting your time by NOT writing FR dooming yourself to make the same mistakes over and over again without detailing what went wrong and getting feedback and advice on how to improve.



Not true.

I was one of those people when I first joined that DIDNT get good results no matter what.

I posted field reports detailing my interactions in GREAT detail for about 2 1/2 years straight which allowed me to go from getting nothing but flakes and unable to pull off one night stands to being able to become above average at this stuff.

Even after 3+ years and putting in TONS of work I was still never at the level of the advanced guys on here who had twice or three times as many lays in that same period of time.

Compare that to a guy like Richard (an awesome guy who's been a huge part of the GC community) who joined the same time as me and was posting back to back lay reports in just a month and a half.

Yeah some guys have it easier. Some guys have a harder path where the results dont come as quick or as consistently.

But every guy I've seen post regular field reports and take massive action always is able to improve slowly and steady. And if they keep that up they get to experience results.

I think the next step of your journey Sub is to start thinking more positively about what YOU can control, take responsibility for not getting the results you've been after, and then after you regroup hit it up hard and change things up 100% differently than what you've been doing.

I want to see you on these forums like I don't hardly recognize you in the way you talk/think/do.

I want to see a new and improved Sub-Zero who isn't focused on what is going wrong but what he can do differently to get the results he's after.
I plan on pushing through bro. But now I have even a bigger problem; my mindset is really fucked up now.

Whenever I go out to approach I feel like such an old ass dude, all these girls are 19 and early 20 something year olds. I feel so old.

Then to add on to it, I have no career, so it’s like I’m in an early 20s dude’s position without being early 20s.

So I’m like why would young women want me? What do I offer that she can’t get from someone else her age?

Then with women my age, they all have careers, I don’t tell them much of what I do, but to hear how far they got, that messes with me.

So in my mind I’m fucked up, I don’t have shit to offer.

So while I am going out and trying, my mind is getting more fucked up by the day.

So that is also fuckin my mind up.

To me I could at least be decent at pick up by now, but I’m not.

So basically I have nothing to offer any chick and I’m starting off as if I’m a teenager.

Gotta get so many things handled.

I know it’s all on me, but I’m not gonna say all of this was on purpose, I never wanted to be like this or even thought this would happen, never.

I say this multiple times, but I stopped really caring about the seduction game while younger because it was too much, but I still yearned for it while I was on a break for a few years, big mistake. I lost out on youth doing that.

And before that break I was going out a whole lot, like 4 times a week for years where I was getting a lot of flakes, so I had to just say fuck it and not go out anymore.

But I wish I kept going.

So that’s why now I want to keep pushing, but then comes my mindset getting worse by the day.

I’m too old to not be good with seduction, I’m too old not to have a career, etc.

I don’t see why girls would want me at this age without these things.

I attract girls, but they know nothing about me, I worry about when they find out later, whether that be my age after they get to know me, my career, etc.

I say that to say that this is what I’m dealing with now, even more so when I go out.

I’m still trying and still gaming, but these thoughts of less than stay in my thoughts.

I could see if I was older and had money and a career then I could think, “hey I’m older, but at least I have a career blah blah blah”.

And when you’re younger you have thoughts of all the good shit you’ll achieve later on.

But this shit right now is nothing, but me feeling not good enough and having messed up.

It’s at the point where I feel “that maybe this isn’t for me, maybe I should give up on everything, just isn’t meant to be. Just give up and this is how it is. You messed up, deal with it and just quit. You knew about this site for so long and barely improved, this just ain’t for you, if it was you’d be better by now.”

“I should get the first attractive girl pregnant and marry her before I’m too old.”

And then I get on dating apps where these guys are getting all these lays, while I still am getting flaked on no matter how many numbers and matches I get.

They get all this shit and I get barely get anything.

A huge majority of these guys only get laid with apps, if it wasn’t for apps they wouldn’t get any girls because they didn’t before.

These are some regular, out of shape dudes too, with no game.

I used similar messages that they used and everything.

I checked what they wrote chicks and their pictures, it all is very basic. Idk wtf is going on and it makes me get even more pissed.

Not even apps where everyone seems to be getting easy success works. Nothing works.

That’s how I feel, but I also don’t want to give up and want to improve.

You guys keep me sane and actually try to help me and it helps my mind feel I can do this.

It seems some of you believe in me more than I do myself.

So these are just how I feel mentally, but I still plan on getting better at this because it’s just something I want.

I didn’t want to write a lot about field reports because I was paranoid that it could be found out.

I plan to write more detailed ones now.

I really thank you and the others for helping me out and being there for me for real, thank you.
 
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Mr.Rob

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Jun 16, 2013
Messages
1,902
I plan on pushing through bro. But now I have even a bigger problem; my mindset is really fucked up now.

These aren't new problems for you. These were the same problems you were dealing with when I was giving you advice last year. I mean almost identical in the way you describe them.

Gotta get so many things handled.

Yeah but once you start actually handling them (i.e. making progress on a career, losing weight at the gym, getting 1% better in pickup every time you go out, changing your mindset to be positive and get out of bad thought loops) you'll start to feel more self-esteem and be confident in where you're going.

Right now you're not confident in where you're going and perhaps don't even know what it is exactly your going after or how to get there.

I mean you can still 100% turn this around and start killing it in life and get all the things you want (good career, sleep with loads of women, live your life like a boss).

I mean aren't you still in your 30's? There are guys who get locked up in prison at age 18 and released at age 42 with no success or few women to their name at that point that go on to start million dollar businesses and get a rocking trophy wife. All with a felony on their record.

Your not even 40 yet and you have no felony's on your record and are just trying to land a steady respectable job and pickup some chicks.

You can for sure turn things around.

If you committed and gave 110% you could make a ton of progress in just 6-9 months time and probably get out of all these negative thought loops that are really just pointless thoughts that aren't true and don't help you.

BUT its going to require a massive ton of mental/physical effort and military like discipline.

So the question becomes how bad do you really want to achieve these goals?

What is more painful to you? The dread and agony of daily discipline and little pleasure in your life for 2 years of getting your life handled... OR the dread and agony of waking up 2 years from now and not being any closer to your goals.

(and to be fair Im sure you've taken action over the past year to get closer but being that most of your thoughts are still in the same place I can tell you haven't made enough progress to elevate out of your mental rut).

If I remember correctly discipline was a big issue for you and you had a habit of putting things off and being lazy with regards to your life goals.

No judgement I can relate to that as I did plenty of that before I got into self-development/pickup.

But you need an extreme overhaul.

Like if you still have a problem with discipline you need to do something like what David Goggins did and put yourself in a situation where you're FORCED to become a beast. A situation that doesn't give you an option but to transform into Sub-Zero the beast, the champion.

I would seriously consider joining the Marine Corp and going through bootcamp. You can do a 2 year enlistment and you'll have money and you'll be able to pickup girls on the weekend with your fellow marine corp buddies.

Or maybe get a commission only sales job in a different town and live homeless on the street until you make enough money to live in a real place.

You've got to get some extreme evolutionary pressure going to slap you out of this rut and put a Tiger chasing after your ass where you've got to run fast or get eaten.

You've got to take the pleasure in your life and replace it with pain.

You've got to become mentally strong to where the current mental issues you're dealing with are pathetically easy to deal with.

I'd start by reading David Goggins book "You Can't Hurt Me". He tells the story of how he went from an overweight pathetic loser to a mentally strong Navy Seal that is capable of some crazy mental fortitude. You'd like the book, maybe it'd motivate you to do something similar.

But if you don't do something extreme to get out of your rut I don't think your just going to magically wake up one day and start hustling 14+ hrs a day on your career and pickup skills to get where you want to be in life.
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
815
the more you go out the more likely you are to basically catch fire. then the good reference experiences add up and you develop inner game. once you know you can succeed shit gets way easier. i’m a huge believer in inner game. i think it’s basically the end all be all. if you know you’re good you’ll be good. getting the reference experiences to buy in fully is the hard part. i used to repeat mantras like “i’m fucking awesome” and “there is no reason i am not enough and i deserve hot girls” while going out. i know it sounds woo woo but it works.
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
836
These aren't new problems for you. These were the same problems you were dealing with when I was giving you advice last year. I mean almost identical in the way you describe them.



Yeah but once you start actually handling them (i.e. making progress on a career, losing weight at the gym, getting 1% better in pickup every time you go out, changing your mindset to be positive and get out of bad thought loops) you'll start to feel more self-esteem and be confident in where you're going.

Right now you're not confident in where you're going and perhaps don't even know what it is exactly your going after or how to get there.

I mean you can still 100% turn this around and start killing it in life and get all the things you want (good career, sleep with loads of women, live your life like a boss).

I mean aren't you still in your 30's? There are guys who get locked up in prison at age 18 and released at age 42 with no success or few women to their name at that point that go on to start million dollar businesses and get a rocking trophy wife. All with a felony on their record.

Your not even 40 yet and you have no felony's on your record and are just trying to land a steady respectable job and pickup some chicks.

You can for sure turn things around.

If you committed and gave 110% you could make a ton of progress in just 6-9 months time and probably get out of all these negative thought loops that are really just pointless thoughts that aren't true and don't help you.

BUT its going to require a massive ton of mental/physical effort and military like discipline.

So the question becomes how bad do you really want to achieve these goals?

What is more painful to you? The dread and agony of daily discipline and little pleasure in your life for 2 years of getting your life handled... OR the dread and agony of waking up 2 years from now and not being any closer to your goals.

(and to be fair Im sure you've taken action over the past year to get closer but being that most of your thoughts are still in the same place I can tell you haven't made enough progress to elevate out of your mental rut).

If I remember correctly discipline was a big issue for you and you had a habit of putting things off and being lazy with regards to your life goals.

No judgement I can relate to that as I did plenty of that before I got into self-development/pickup.

But you need an extreme overhaul.

Like if you still have a problem with discipline you need to do something like what David Goggins did and put yourself in a situation where you're FORCED to become a beast. A situation that doesn't give you an option but to transform into Sub-Zero the beast, the champion.

I would seriously consider joining the Marine Corp and going through bootcamp. You can do a 2 year enlistment and you'll have money and you'll be able to pickup girls on the weekend with your fellow marine corp buddies.

Or maybe get a commission only sales job in a different town and live homeless on the street until you make enough money to live in a real place.

You've got to get some extreme evolutionary pressure going to slap you out of this rut and put a Tiger chasing after your ass where you've got to run fast or get eaten.

You've got to take the pleasure in your life and replace it with pain.

You've got to become mentally strong to where the current mental issues you're dealing with are pathetically easy to deal with.

I'd start by reading David Goggins book "You Can't Hurt Me". He tells the story of how he went from an overweight pathetic loser to a mentally strong Navy Seal that is capable of some crazy mental fortitude. You'd like the book, maybe it'd motivate you to do something similar.

But if you don't do something extreme to get out of your rut I don't think your just going to magically wake up one day and start hustling 14+ hrs a day on your career and pickup skills to get where you want to be in life.
Yeah, they’re the same thoughts, but they’re even worse now. At first I felt old, but it’s like now I feel really old because a lot of women I see are teens or early 20s, that’s why I like night game, but with night game it costs money to consistently go out, and this year I have been busy af, so I couldn’t really afford to go out.

These thoughts I have about myself make everything so difficult.

I think the biggest thing for me is that I feel so down because I’m no where near where I’m supposed to be at all.

I can see if I had a career, at least that’s handled, but I feel like a grown ass kid.

So I think my late development really messes with my head.

Another thing with that is, I did the steps to at least have some kind of career, I went to school, am very calm during interviews, used very high connections to get interviews, but I still couldn’t get in the door.

So that just messes with my mind.

Then with the girl thing it’s like if the chick doesn’t 100% want to have sex, I don’t get her. I went out for years every week for club game, I got flakes, I even tried apps where people are getting lucky as hell, flakes.

So it’s basically wasting my time doing these things, but I know it needs to be done.

I have been going out a few days a week to try day game and for some reason I’m not getting any invitations, it’s mind boggling to me tbh. Not too long ago I would get them way more.

Now I rarely get them, and of course I think to myself it’s because of age.

Plus seeing women a lot younger than me, doesn’t help me.

Before I felt that I was older, now I feel like a creep if I talk to girls that are 18-22.

Enough about that though, so I’ve been trying to do day game and have been going out and for some reason still can’t muster up an approach, all I can do is ask questions and be super indirect.

Then comes the point where I feel I have to approach every single girl I see that’s not even that attractive, I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I think about fuckin a majority of the women I interact with, and it makes me feel thirsty and I should calm down.

I can approach more at night though with no problem because it feels “normal”. Me talking to 18-22 year old women during the day and I’m trying to date them doesn’t feel “normal”, I feel like an old creep.

In my head the social stigma makes me feel like I should be married, not trying to fuck a lot of women.

These are my thoughts though, not saying that it’s true, but what I feel.

I have watched some of Goggins clips and interviews on YouTube and he’s motivating for sure.

I’ll check the book out.

The other extreme scenarios I’ll keep in mind when I’m really at wits end.

The only thing I can do right now, is force myself everyday to do something.

I used to mess up on my diet and then I’d say fuck it I’ll start next week, so now I say, I’ll start next meal.

I have been cutting down on the sweets and have been counting calories everyday.

With chicks I'm going out a lot more, but still have my problems.

I just gotta approach with interest.

The thing with self improvement really comes down to being consistent for a long ass time.

I used to think you get early wins and get used to it, no, you gotta think of doing the same shit no matter the results for like 6 months fuckin straight.

Last year I would have a good month or two with working out and going out to get girls, then I see no results then say fuck this, then I go on hiatus for a few months and try again.

So that’s pretty much what happens with my self improvement; I go hard for some time, give up for some time, try again later.

What I’m supposed to do is just stay with it and not give up.

The dating apps, really fucked with my head too, I was going hard on them and getting matches and numbers, I got text back, phone calls, girls stating interest in seeing me, then they straight up flake and try to play games.

Who wouldn’t want to give up after that? Then you got guys just doing good on apps who barely even try, it’s like a cheat code for them to get good.

Imagine you hear all this success from dudes who use apps, apps have literally saved their sanity with girls. But then when you get on apps you get bullshit, even with matches.

These guys are regular looking guys, they show me the pics they use, they don’t have any of the stuff that everyone says you need to have to get results.

They have no muscle, no dog pic, they aren’t tall at all, their pics are not high quality, etc.

But they get results, while I’m dealing with bullshit.

Who wouldn’t be angry and want to give up on everything after dealing with that?

So you mean to tell me everything I do results in the same outcome no matter the avenue? night game, women at job game, app game.

All those avenues have been nothing but flakes for me over the years.

You get to the point where you just say fuck it all.

That’s where the bad thoughts come in.

But I still try.

Only thing I’ll focus on is just being consistent longer, doing things for a month or two isn’t long enough to see results.

With diet and gym, I plan on keeping calories low and being consistent with it, no cheat days where I bing on food. If I can’t go to the gym 5 days consistently for 2 weeks straight, I’ll go less and focus on that.

With career or job, I’ll just keep looking and try to learn skills.

With women, I just won’t give a fuck about them anymore, if we don’t meet in a week, she has to reach out if she wants to go out. Have to literally see each women as a number and a fickle number at that.

So that’s what I’ll focus on.

Thanks again Rob for caring and helping me out. You give me a lot of encouragement during this time of my negative mental state taking over.

I appreciate you
 

Sub-Zero

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 6, 2014
Messages
836
the more you go out the more likely you are to basically catch fire. then the good reference experiences add up and you develop inner game. once you know you can succeed shit gets way easier. i’m a huge believer in inner game. i think it’s basically the end all be all. if you know you’re good you’ll be good. getting the reference experiences to buy in fully is the hard part. i used to repeat mantras like “i’m fucking awesome” and “there is no reason i am not enough and i deserve hot girls” while going out. i know it sounds woo woo but it works.
Good to see you back bro, yeah I’m going to have to do the good mantras, I do a lot of the bad mantras without even realizing it. I think bad of myself, but it isn’t a conscious thought, with the good thoughts, it’s like I have to force myself to think these good things, maybe that’ll help me with all areas that need to be taken care of.

Thanks.
 

Razorjack

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Feb 22, 2020
Messages
145
@Sub-Zero and everyone else:

When I was re-learning pick up 20 years ago, I went out 2-3 nights a week maximum, I didn't have time for daytime pickup. And I personally felt that nightclub pick up was much more efficient as all the women were in one place and I could hit multiple targets at once.
It was also easier to pick up 2 girls for threesomes! :p

This worked for me because I was obsessed with learning pick up and so even on those days when I didn't go out, I would be constantly analyzing past interactions, what I did right or wrong, what I was going to focus on the next night out etc. I had a specific process for learning and getting better and I personally needed time between going out to analyze, rehearse, think out the next steps, set new goals or things to try out for the next night etc.

Whether this would work for you or not is what priority pick up / seduction has for you. I think you guys have it a lot harder today than I had when I was learning. Back in my day, all the good seducers were all in one place and information about pickup was limited to a few places. Nowadays, people's (and girls') attention spans are extremely short, there is so much other stimulants you need to compete against and there is so much (crap) information that needs to be waded through.

From what I read, it seems like guys are doing things the same way as we did 20 years ago, not sure this is the most effective way to learn today.
I would probably take a completely different approach today than the going out (night clubs/ daygame) hitting up one target at a time, etc. I would need to think this through, but there are probably so many ways to do this on a much larger, more time efficient scale than what I did in the "old days"

@Sub-Zero: You seem like you're a bit lost, not just with seduction / pick up but with life in general. Happens to everyone, happened to me about 15 years ago.

Here is some unconventional advice:

I find that trying to figure things out on a micro-level (seduction tactics, going out everyday or not, do day game / night game, online game etc) is impossible because it never addresses the root causes. These questions and the associated confusion around them were really symptoms from not knowing what I wanted out of life, not having any larger goals, etc. Once I figured out the "big picture" then everything else started to fall in place. If I were you that's probably where I would start.
 

Kvothe

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 5, 2017
Messages
872
If you can do every day, obviously increased frequency is better. I generally need a day to recharge to avoid burnout.
 
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