These aren't new problems for you. These were the same problems you were dealing with when I was giving you advice last year. I mean almost identical in the way you describe them.
Yeah but once you start actually handling them (i.e. making progress on a career, losing weight at the gym, getting 1% better in pickup every time you go out, changing your mindset to be positive and get out of bad thought loops) you'll start to feel more self-esteem and be confident in where you're going.
Right now you're not confident in where you're going and perhaps don't even know what it is exactly your going after or how to get there.
I mean you can still 100% turn this around and start killing it in life and get all the things you want (good career, sleep with loads of women, live your life like a boss).
I mean aren't you still in your 30's? There are guys who get locked up in prison at age 18 and released at age 42 with no success or few women to their name at that point that go on to start million dollar businesses and get a rocking trophy wife. All with a felony on their record.
Your not even 40 yet and you have no felony's on your record and are just trying to land a steady respectable job and pickup some chicks.
You can for sure turn things around.
If you committed and gave 110% you could make a ton of progress in just 6-9 months time and probably get out of all these negative thought loops that are really just pointless thoughts that aren't true and don't help you.
BUT its going to require a massive ton of mental/physical effort and military like discipline.
So the question becomes how bad do you really want to achieve these goals?
What is more painful to you? The dread and agony of daily discipline and little pleasure in your life for 2 years of getting your life handled... OR the dread and agony of waking up 2 years from now and not being any closer to your goals.
(and to be fair Im sure you've taken action over the past year to get closer but being that most of your thoughts are still in the same place I can tell you haven't made enough progress to elevate out of your mental rut).
If I remember correctly discipline was a big issue for you and you had a habit of putting things off and being lazy with regards to your life goals.
No judgement I can relate to that as I did plenty of that before I got into self-development/pickup.
But you need an extreme overhaul.
Like if you still have a problem with discipline you need to do something like what David Goggins did and put yourself in a situation where you're FORCED to become a beast. A situation that doesn't give you an option but to transform into Sub-Zero the beast, the champion.
I would seriously consider joining the Marine Corp and going through bootcamp. You can do a 2 year enlistment and you'll have money and you'll be able to pickup girls on the weekend with your fellow marine corp buddies.
Or maybe get a commission only sales job in a different town and live homeless on the street until you make enough money to live in a real place.
You've got to get some extreme evolutionary pressure going to slap you out of this rut and put a Tiger chasing after your ass where you've got to run fast or get eaten.
You've got to take the pleasure in your life and replace it with pain.
You've got to become mentally strong to where the current mental issues you're dealing with are pathetically easy to deal with.
I'd start by reading David Goggins book "
You Can't Hurt Me". He tells the story of how he went from an overweight pathetic loser to a mentally strong Navy Seal that is capable of some crazy mental fortitude. You'd like the book, maybe it'd motivate you to do something similar.
But if you don't do something extreme to get out of your rut I don't think your just going to magically wake up one day and start hustling 14+ hrs a day on your career and pickup skills to get where you want to be in life.
Yeah, they’re the same thoughts, but they’re even worse now. At first I felt old, but it’s like now I feel really old because a lot of women I see are teens or early 20s, that’s why I like night game, but with night game it costs money to consistently go out, and this year I have been busy af, so I couldn’t really afford to go out.
These thoughts I have about myself make everything so difficult.
I think the biggest thing for me is that I feel so down because I’m no where near where I’m supposed to be at all.
I can see if I had a career, at least that’s handled, but I feel like a grown ass kid.
So I think my late development really messes with my head.
Another thing with that is, I did the steps to at least have some kind of career, I went to school, am very calm during interviews, used very high connections to get interviews, but I still couldn’t get in the door.
So that just messes with my mind.
Then with the girl thing it’s like if the chick doesn’t 100% want to have sex, I don’t get her. I went out for years every week for club game, I got flakes, I even tried apps where people are getting lucky as hell, flakes.
So it’s basically wasting my time doing these things, but I know it needs to be done.
I have been going out a few days a week to try day game and for some reason I’m not getting any invitations, it’s mind boggling to me tbh. Not too long ago I would get them way more.
Now I rarely get them, and of course I think to myself it’s because of age.
Plus seeing women a lot younger than me, doesn’t help me.
Before I felt that I was older, now I feel like a creep if I talk to girls that are 18-22.
Enough about that though, so I’ve been trying to do day game and have been going out and for some reason still can’t muster up an approach, all I can do is ask questions and be super indirect.
Then comes the point where I feel I have to approach every single girl I see that’s not even that attractive, I don’t know if it’s good or bad, but I think about fuckin a majority of the women I interact with, and it makes me feel thirsty and I should calm down.
I can approach more at night though with no problem because it feels “normal”. Me talking to 18-22 year old women during the day and I’m trying to date them doesn’t feel “normal”, I feel like an old creep.
In my head the social stigma makes me feel like I should be married, not trying to fuck a lot of women.
These are my thoughts though, not saying that it’s true, but what I feel.
I have watched some of Goggins clips and interviews on YouTube and he’s motivating for sure.
I’ll check the book out.
The other extreme scenarios I’ll keep in mind when I’m really at wits end.
The only thing I can do right now, is force myself everyday to do something.
I used to mess up on my diet and then I’d say fuck it I’ll start next week, so now I say, I’ll start next meal.
I have been cutting down on the sweets and have been counting calories everyday.
With chicks I'm going out a lot more, but still have my problems.
I just gotta approach with interest.
The thing with self improvement really comes down to being consistent for a long ass time.
I used to think you get early wins and get used to it, no, you gotta think of doing the same shit no matter the results for like 6 months fuckin straight.
Last year I would have a good month or two with working out and going out to get girls, then I see no results then say fuck this, then I go on hiatus for a few months and try again.
So that’s pretty much what happens with my self improvement; I go hard for some time, give up for some time, try again later.
What I’m supposed to do is just stay with it and not give up.
The dating apps, really fucked with my head too, I was going hard on them and getting matches and numbers, I got text back, phone calls, girls stating interest in seeing me, then they straight up flake and try to play games.
Who wouldn’t want to give up after that? Then you got guys just doing good on apps who barely even try, it’s like a cheat code for them to get good.
Imagine you hear all this success from dudes who use apps, apps have literally saved their sanity with girls. But then when you get on apps you get bullshit, even with matches.
These guys are regular looking guys, they show me the pics they use, they don’t have any of the stuff that everyone says you need to have to get results.
They have no muscle, no dog pic, they aren’t tall at all, their pics are not high quality, etc.
But they get results, while I’m dealing with bullshit.
Who wouldn’t be angry and want to give up on everything after dealing with that?
So you mean to tell me everything I do results in the same outcome no matter the avenue? night game, women at job game, app game.
All those avenues have been nothing but flakes for me over the years.
You get to the point where you just say fuck it all.
That’s where the bad thoughts come in.
But I still try.
Only thing I’ll focus on is just being consistent longer, doing things for a month or two isn’t long enough to see results.
With diet and gym, I plan on keeping calories low and being consistent with it, no cheat days where I bing on food. If I can’t go to the gym 5 days consistently for 2 weeks straight, I’ll go less and focus on that.
With career or job, I’ll just keep looking and try to learn skills.
With women, I just won’t give a fuck about them anymore, if we don’t meet in a week, she has to reach out if she wants to go out. Have to literally see each women as a number and a fickle number at that.
So that’s what I’ll focus on.
Thanks again Rob for caring and helping me out. You give me a lot of encouragement during this time of my negative mental state taking over.
I appreciate you