FR  Some situations from pre-quarantine

hater58

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With bars opening up again tomorrow I figured I would post a couple more of my notable approaches pre-quarantine before I get rolling again.

Walked into a nightclub alone and having drank 2 shots of vodka in my apartment 10 minutes before. Go to the bar to get a drink, no one really around me. Make eye contact with cute blonde girl who leaves her friends and comes over and stands close to but not right next to me. Spent maybe 20 seconds trying to decide if I should try to talk to her. Eventually I approach her and ask her what her name is. She tells me her name and flicks her hair, but I have no follow up. Eventually she leaves and goes back to her friends.

Realistically I believe I messed that one up. She was interested in retrospect but still expected me to carry the conversation at first and I dropped the ball.

Different night, walk into nightclub alone and start conversation with a group of girls standing next to me in line. They seem cool and one is pretty touch but mentions her boyfriend but says her friend is single. Talk with them for maybe 10 min before going in. Once we get in they scatter and it is clear they do not want to talk to me anymore, which stings a bit but I try to regather myself.

Eventually I try to approach this blonde woman I am interested in. She was definitely checking me out as I was getting in line (before I started talking to the first group). When I am in the club I look at her 5 times, and 3 times she immediately looks away, when I was standing in different locations in the club each time. I decide I want to approach her but am not sure how to do it. Eventually she is at the bar with one of her friends. I thought her friend was one of the girls I had talked to earlier, so I figured that would be a good in, since I had at least talked to her friend. I approach the friend at maybe a 45 degree angle and tap her on the shoulder and say "hey". She turns around and says "do I know you" after which I kind of froze. I tapped the one I was trying to approach on the shoulder twice but she did not react to me so I had to turn around and walk away. At that point I was having no fun. I tried to approach 3 others girls who were getting drinks and ask them how their night was going, but I was ignored.

At that point I was done, left and went on a long walk to do some soul searching. I ended up throwing my phone in the snow and the screen cracked off and broke, so I had to get a new phone. Definitely a childish response, in retrospect.




Maybe I read too much into the eye contact with the blonde woman, but overall it was a horrible night.

Any thoughts?
 

Fluxcapacitor

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@hater58 dude! First situation the girl was interested, she made eye contact then positioned herself near you which is an approach invitation (AI) she tells you her name and plays with her hair which is another indication of interest (IOI) she left cause you weren't interesting and couldn't lead the conversation. Ask how her night is going, ask who she's out with, are they celebrating? Inspect her jewellery. This will keep you in the interaction dude.

Second situation, the scatter doesn't necessarily mean they're done with you. It's a change of scenery in a "wild" environment and they're there to party, the body language and vibe will determine this so maybe they weren't interested you'll have a better feel for this but you don't have to hang with them all night, you can talk to them later when you run into them.

The 45 degree angle approach, with the tap on the shoulder. Was this from behind? You'd be better coming in from the front angle or directly from the side. This lets you pre open with eye contact rather than blind siding her. The do I know you is a bitch shield defense, this can be an objection you can overcome. Think of it as a shit test, I've passed this before with saying not with that attitude! But I don't actually recommend this it might make her bitch shield bigger if not delivered right. I'd recommend being unfazed by this and just introduce yourself, do I know you? I'm hater, I thought you were Jenny my bad are you two enjoying your night? Another response, I don't believe we've met I'm hater... if you're more playfully inclined tease her for it - do I know you? Wow you're really friendly, you must have a lot of friends.

Tapping the one you wanted to approach was a bad idea, you've been hung out to dry by the top bitch so she's not going to give you any time. You've built negative compliance here she's seen her friend derail you, you didn't handle it well you froze so she's not turned on by that behaviour dude.

Throwing your phone was a childish response, but you realised this so you can work on it. You had the ball's to approach dude that's the first step a lot of dudes can't even do that so don't be hard on yourself you'll learn from this and go forward :)
 

hater58

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Another situation: Went into a brewery alone and sat down to order a drink. Sat down alone near the end of a U-shaped bar. In my peripheral vision I notice this pretty hot older woman (early 30's I'd estimate) who I think was checking me out but I was following Chase's advice to not oogle over every girl you see so I could be wrong. A few minutes later she came over near me and seemed to pay for something at the bar. Started dancing and shaking her ass to some song that was playing. Did not come up and start smiling or anything but definitely put herself in my proximity (I think in retrospect). I was completely sober and tweaking out since I did not know anyone there. Eventually I started talking with some middle aged men and never ended up approaching. Still not able to approach without alcohol so far regardless of whether or not she was interested.

Still not sure how to identify if a girl is giving an AI that well. I'm not sure about the above case.

I want to start doing more documenting to hold myself accountable and get feedback.
 

Fluxcapacitor

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@hater58 dude! That was an AI, she was checking you out, didn't get your attention, positioned herself near you and then shook her ass. She wanted you to notice, she also seemed rather forward. I'd guess checking her out at this point she'd have gave IOIs or positioned herself closer to you.

Have a drink if you need to rajesh koothrapoli style!

 

hater58

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Well it is a good sign honestly.

Edit: In a situation like this is the only option to take action immediately or not at all?
 
Last edited:

hater58

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Women in apartment complex is being very friendly. Not sure how to approach it or it I should.
 

hater58

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Tried talking to a girl who sat near me at a bar. She said "I'm just here for the hockey", to which I replied "I'm just here for the basketball". She ignored my continued attempts at conversation after so I stopped. She later mentioned her boyfriend a couple times to her friend, so I guess it's whatever.
 

Dr.X

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In sales there is a technique called, "mirroring," basically you mirror their last words to disarm objection. I just field tested it yesterday, coming up to a girl, she said "Corona," I said: "Corona, fist bump for love" and she complied.

I think you can apply it here:
Her: "I'm just here for the hockey"
You: "Hockey ___________________"

and for future interactions.
 

Velasco

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She said "I'm just here for the hockey"
hater58: Oh nice. Which team u rooting for?
girl: The Capitals.
hater58: Nice. But yeah I'm just glad that sports are back.
girl: yeah.
hater58: cause hey i don't know about you, but i was losing my fuck mind all of quarantine without them lol. How did you survive quarantine?
 

hater58

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@Velasco and @Dr.X good points I will keep that in mind for the future.
In this case though I feel that she was just unreceptive and it wouldn't have made a difference.
 

Mr STIF

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Brother, make this your rule:whenever you get into any venue you should hit up a woman and start conversation.

I read your post about the hockey girl and it seems like you were boring to her. Immediately, she could tell you're too nice and wouldn't be a good conversationalist.

I read some other posts and it seems you can notice green lights so make this your second rule. Whenever you notice those lights go green: I want you to approach without hesitation. Just fucking consider it a freestyle besides you are an artist and magic(attraction) is in the air.

Here's my go to for number close
I see woman: once you notice those lights go green don't think about it. Just move your feet!

I open woman: remember, there's no such thing as an opener as your so called opener is just there to signify the beginning of the conversation.

I sex talk with woman: this part takes away that too nice MSM spirit that's in everyone especially towards sexuality.

I close: always try to close on a high point, that is, when you two are laughing off at a joke you cracked you tell her "alright sugar, how about we hangout sometime this week?" :cool:

Mr Stif.
 

hater58

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Brother, make this your rule:whenever you get into any venue you should hit up a woman and start conversation.

I read your post about the hockey girl and it seems like you were boring to her. Immediately, she could tell you're too nice and wouldn't be a good conversationalist.

I read some other posts and it seems you can notice green lights so make this your second rule. Whenever you notice those lights go green: I want you to approach without hesitation. Just fucking consider it a freestyle besides you are an artist and magic(attraction) is in the air.

Here's my go to for number close
I see woman: once you notice those lights go green don't think about it. Just move your feet!

I open woman: remember, there's no such thing as an opener as your so called opener is just there to signify the beginning of the conversation.

I sex talk with woman: this part takes away that too nice MSM spirit that's in everyone especially towards sexuality.

I close: always try to close on a high point, that is, when you two are laughing off at a joke you cracked you tell her "alright sugar, how about we hangout sometime this week?" :cool:

Mr Stif.

Thanks for the feedback. Love your username BTW. I am getting better at recognizing signs but need to act rather than think when I see a potential sign.
 

Mr STIF

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Thanks for the feedback. Love your username BTW. I am getting better at recognizing signs but need to act rather than think when I see a potential sign.
Exactly, just fucking act. Once you see a sign
Thanks for the feedback. Love your username BTW. I am getting better at recognizing signs but need to act rather than think when I see a potential sign.
Yea. As a PUA you're just an actor using your social skills to calibrate to the situation at hand.

But to calibrate to the situation, you just have to act first and let autopilot take over. Overthinking might cause procrastination that's why you should use the three seconds rule to get you started.

Mr Stif.
 
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