- Joined
- Apr 5, 2025
- Messages
- 370
Right, I wasn't sure how to feel about this as I almost wanted to hold off the field report as I wanted to process what happened, but I also want to write the field report whilst the experience is fresh in my mind.
I almost didn't go out after hitting the gym today as it was raining, but the air was still. If it was raining and winding, I would not have bothered.
I went to the gym in the neighbouring town to my home town then went to my bigger approaching town to hit the streets.
Initially, I walked up and down, I saw a couple of sets, including a girl who I know for sure was in her 20s carrying a cat carrier which put me off a bit as I felt like she might feel protective of her pet. But I remember turning around, thinking "run back" but the cat carrier put me off. I didn't even know if there was a cat in it!
So that was a definite set and the cat carrier could have been used as a prop as well. As a cat enthusiast myself, it would have make a great talking point.
I saw a couple of "maybes" but didn't bother.
The open
Then I was just not particularly switched on or anything, but frustration made me push myself when I saw a chick with a side ponytail who was dressed kind of hip-hop/skater so I went used my latest opener.
"Hey, can I give you a compliment"
She said "yes, go on then"
I said "You look good"
Which she said she was grateful for.
It's worth noting that this is the 2nd close this opener has gained in about 10 approaches. So it's a good opener. Later in the insta date, the girl said she has never had anyone say that to her before.
I thought, "wait, that's an easy hook, What's the catch". I asked her what she was doing and she said "just walking" so I replied, "well that makes two of us". I asked her what she had planned for the day and she said she was just going to meet a friend, but it wasn't until 1600 this was about 1400 in the afternoon.
She also asked about one of my eyes (which was bloodshot red as it caught a glancing blow in kickboxing) and she said she noticed immediately. This was interesting because I was self conscious about this and it has definitely increased my approach anxiety since it happened. However, I have still been putting myself out in the field and making a few half assed approaches as it has affected my confidence and made me wonder if chicks might think I was homeless or prone to violence. But I am happy that I still pushed myself and the reactions weren't that different to usual.
Instead of telling her the boring truth I said the boyfriend of a girl I approached came and caught me talking to her and hit me. It was a little test to see if she was interested or not. As it happens, it still didn't put her off. I was just self amusing myself with that story.
Anyway, she was so happy to chat and even moved herself out of the way as the rain was going in her face. I didn't realise she was going to stay in the interaction at this point. So I followed her and kept talking underneath a shop's awning. I recall we ask each other which towns we are from and exchange notes why we like this small city in which we have both met better than the towns in which we live.
I have improved so much during daygame when the girl hooks as there was a time (back in 2018/19) when I got a hook, I would be shaking in this situation and my voice would tremble,but now I can come across as relatively calm. To begin with, the whole thing feels like a weird daygame trap.
Location change from initial approach location
I ask if she would like to go for a coffee which she says she doesn't like coffee. For a moment, I thought she was letting me down gently. I do even verbalise that and she smiles but gives the impression that she didn't mean it that way.
She suggests going for a walk so we do that, I ask if she has seen the cathedral from inside and she says no, so I lead her towards the Cathedral but they are charging for entry now instead of it being free like it was earlier this year.
So that was that romantic idea done with, instead we continue walking. I take her past one of my favourite computer shops with a display of old Apple devices, macs, Mac books, iPods and the original iPhone. I don't go into too much detail as I don't want to highlight the age gap too much at this point. But needless to say, I was 18 when the first iPhone dropped, but I don't want to go down that tricky subject just yet.
We move on from the computer shop and then look in a book shop with a book display in the window, it's got a Halloween theme. I ask if she likes to read and she says yes, she does indeed read books. Oh, also, earlier when we were near the cathedral she said she also likes to journal as well. She is also studying media studies at college so I ask if she plans to become a journalist and she says yes. I guess that tallies up with journalling herself well. I wonder if she will journal about our insta date?
She suggests we go to the uni campus as there is a shelter like structure there to sit down on. It's interesting, she is almost leading at some points, she seems enthusiastic, more so than usual.
It is a bench under a circular tent-like structure sheltering us from the rain but the walls are open.
Discussion topics underneath shelter
She sits down at the picnic bench under the shelter with her body language open towards me, straddling the bench seat between her legs. Honestly, I wonder if she was getting tinglings in her lady area, because I think she was quite aroused.
To begin with, I sit side ways to her, with my thighs long ways to her legs facing me.
But then, at some point, I bring my legs inside the outer wooden strut of the picnic table close to hers, so our knees are touching. It is rare for me to be this close to a girl and I like it.
So here is the meat of the insta date. It is just me and her under this shelter, it is semi private, with people walking past outside, but we are somewhat obscured.
Pickup advice rings in my head with guys writing "dude, she wants you to kiss her". But it is way too soon for that and I am not comfortable in this situation yet.
Here the conversation is flowing smoothly, my eye contact is strong. She holds it, her eyes aren't darting around all over the place like in my last number close. By this point, I have totally forgotten about my bloodshot eye.
I am trying to figure this chick out, she has a kinda breakdancer/skater look, at one point I tell her she reminds me of the artist "Lady Sovereign" a British rapper who was big when I was a teenager. Again, I am careful not to bring age at this stage, so when I Google the artist, I am careful not to show her the main google bio which has her age and date of birth in big numbers on the biography page.
Anyway, I show her a pic of the artist she vaguely reminds me of and she mildly agrees that she does bear a passing resemblance.
I also ask if she has a car and she says no due to the expense to run one. I agree with hers despite being a former "car guy" this is Europe where peasants are priced out of running cars which are generally only for the well off!
So then I say "but I can see you on a motorbike" and she agrees and says she has thought about getting one. I tease her and say "try not to get squished though, as then I would be slightly disappointed if I didn't see you again". To which she laughs.
We discuss holidays and how we like to get out of England, because we find it depressing. It turns out, she has been to Amsterdam 4 times and likes the' magic mushrooms. She says they really open your mind up. She is also partial to weed. Maybe that is why she is so relaxed?
I wonder if she had some before this insta date as this is honestly kind of bizarre. I even say to her "this is weird" on a couple of occasions. Maybe she is even neurodiverse. It's just so weird how comfortable and passive she was compared to the receptions I usually get. But this is not the first time, this is now my 3rd date from daygame, the second being an insta date back in March and the first being May 2024 which was actually a prearranged meetup after a number close.
Despite being in daygame since 2018, it took me a couple of years to just become comfortable with approaching and conversations, let alone escalating to insta dates and getting numbers.
Infact, back when I started cold approach in 2018 distinctly remember a few encounters like this, but I was much more nervous back then and my voice would start trembling which made me have to abort the interaction despite the girl's apparent interest.
At this point and after so much discussion, I decide it is time to be a bit more intimate. I almost ask if I can touch her platted side ponytail but I stop myself and just gently do it under the guise of feeling the weight/density of it. I start with this and then do it again, later, for longer.
I also ask what she likes doing with her time and she says painting her nails, so I ask to see them and I can see they are not painted so I exclaim "oh, but they are so plain" as I use my fingers to hold up her fingers and look closely at them.
That was the extent of the kino escalation, aside from knees touching under the table and general close proximity to her. I did feel pressure to try to kiss her and I think that was what she was expecting but I have just never kissed a girl before and it was a semi public location which added to the pressure.
I also don't know how to aim a kiss, for instance, what if she moves her head and you get her eye or something?
So needless to say, a kiss didn't happen.
There are a couple of times where the conversation dies down and there is about a literal minute of silence with neither of us saying anything. I decided to just let it stew and one of us would eventually break the silence. I was scared that she would make her excuses and leave, but she didn't.
I asked about her piercing, she had a top lip stud piercing in the middle. I asked if she had tattoos and she said she had 2 which she describes to me. So I tried to ask more intimate things and she was okay with that, which is a good sign!
I didn't keep track of the time but I think we spent almost an hour out there under that shack on the uni campus. Eventually, we were both getting cold and shivering.
I have probably forgotten a few conversation topics because we spoke about loads but those were the highlights anyway.
So despite not going for the kiss, it was still progress from my last insta date as I was able to initiate some kino escalation although it wasn't very much but it didn't feel forced either.
Venue change to cafe
Since we were getting cold in the outside shelter, we decided to head indoors to the campus cafe where I did offer to buy her something but she declined. I honestly find this chick so unusual. It's odd that she doesn't want anything and just wants to chill. I haven't had an experience like this since the last instant date in March.
I actually get onto the subject of caring for elderly people and I admire the nurses that do so! She said she would appreciate that if she worked as a nurse and I said I thought she was quite caring and would make a good nurse to which she agreed.
We also discuss movies, she says she likes zombie horrors but I say I think they are boring and prefer psychological horrors. There is this classic British zombie horror called "28 days later" which I ask her if she has seen but she says she hasn't. I was surprised to find she hasn't seen it, but apparently she missed it. I suggest that we could both watch it together at some point and she agrees.
So now it's finally getting to the point where she has to meet her friend and we are starting to make a move. She says she felt comfortable with me which is great feedback.
So we walk together to the bus station and when we get there it's crowded and packed so we say our good bye's at that end of the bus station, I give her a little awkward side hug and she reciprocates.
So there it is then, the longest time I have spent with a girl, completely unexpectedly, too.
Opening text and reply
I texted her that I enjoyed spending time with her and hope that she did too and that I would like to see her again. I ended asking if she made it home.
She replied saying she enjoyed my company and of course she would like to see me again.
Potential obstacle over age gap
I am pretty sure this chick assumes I am in my 20s and believe me, I feel like I am. But I am just about to turn 36 and I feel like this will be a deal breaker if the subject of age comes up.
In the insta date back in March, the chick said she thought I was 25 initially (I was honest with my age and told her I was 35) and brought it up a couple of times which I think might have put her off as she never got back to me despite giving her my number afterwards. I am not sure how to broach this subject. So there is a paranoia that she thinks I am 10 years younger than I am.
Moving forward from here
For once, I have a live number and need to know the goals of a second meetup. She lives at home with her parents so we can't go there. I have a feeling if I don't atleast kiss her she will be disappointed and I feel I should escalate somehow as that is what she is expecting and I could do with a lay on the books.
I could suggest she comes back to my place but it is not the best for this sort of thing as my bedroom isn't very private due to being at the front of the apartment where the windows are.
So I am unsure what to do as sim
ply meeting up and chatting is probably going to lead to her losing interest.
It is nice to need this kind of advice for once!
I almost didn't go out after hitting the gym today as it was raining, but the air was still. If it was raining and winding, I would not have bothered.
I went to the gym in the neighbouring town to my home town then went to my bigger approaching town to hit the streets.
Initially, I walked up and down, I saw a couple of sets, including a girl who I know for sure was in her 20s carrying a cat carrier which put me off a bit as I felt like she might feel protective of her pet. But I remember turning around, thinking "run back" but the cat carrier put me off. I didn't even know if there was a cat in it!
So that was a definite set and the cat carrier could have been used as a prop as well. As a cat enthusiast myself, it would have make a great talking point.
I saw a couple of "maybes" but didn't bother.
The open
Then I was just not particularly switched on or anything, but frustration made me push myself when I saw a chick with a side ponytail who was dressed kind of hip-hop/skater so I went used my latest opener.
"Hey, can I give you a compliment"
She said "yes, go on then"
I said "You look good"
Which she said she was grateful for.
It's worth noting that this is the 2nd close this opener has gained in about 10 approaches. So it's a good opener. Later in the insta date, the girl said she has never had anyone say that to her before.
I thought, "wait, that's an easy hook, What's the catch". I asked her what she was doing and she said "just walking" so I replied, "well that makes two of us". I asked her what she had planned for the day and she said she was just going to meet a friend, but it wasn't until 1600 this was about 1400 in the afternoon.
She also asked about one of my eyes (which was bloodshot red as it caught a glancing blow in kickboxing) and she said she noticed immediately. This was interesting because I was self conscious about this and it has definitely increased my approach anxiety since it happened. However, I have still been putting myself out in the field and making a few half assed approaches as it has affected my confidence and made me wonder if chicks might think I was homeless or prone to violence. But I am happy that I still pushed myself and the reactions weren't that different to usual.
Instead of telling her the boring truth I said the boyfriend of a girl I approached came and caught me talking to her and hit me. It was a little test to see if she was interested or not. As it happens, it still didn't put her off. I was just self amusing myself with that story.
Anyway, she was so happy to chat and even moved herself out of the way as the rain was going in her face. I didn't realise she was going to stay in the interaction at this point. So I followed her and kept talking underneath a shop's awning. I recall we ask each other which towns we are from and exchange notes why we like this small city in which we have both met better than the towns in which we live.
I have improved so much during daygame when the girl hooks as there was a time (back in 2018/19) when I got a hook, I would be shaking in this situation and my voice would tremble,but now I can come across as relatively calm. To begin with, the whole thing feels like a weird daygame trap.
Location change from initial approach location
I ask if she would like to go for a coffee which she says she doesn't like coffee. For a moment, I thought she was letting me down gently. I do even verbalise that and she smiles but gives the impression that she didn't mean it that way.
She suggests going for a walk so we do that, I ask if she has seen the cathedral from inside and she says no, so I lead her towards the Cathedral but they are charging for entry now instead of it being free like it was earlier this year.
So that was that romantic idea done with, instead we continue walking. I take her past one of my favourite computer shops with a display of old Apple devices, macs, Mac books, iPods and the original iPhone. I don't go into too much detail as I don't want to highlight the age gap too much at this point. But needless to say, I was 18 when the first iPhone dropped, but I don't want to go down that tricky subject just yet.
We move on from the computer shop and then look in a book shop with a book display in the window, it's got a Halloween theme. I ask if she likes to read and she says yes, she does indeed read books. Oh, also, earlier when we were near the cathedral she said she also likes to journal as well. She is also studying media studies at college so I ask if she plans to become a journalist and she says yes. I guess that tallies up with journalling herself well. I wonder if she will journal about our insta date?
She suggests we go to the uni campus as there is a shelter like structure there to sit down on. It's interesting, she is almost leading at some points, she seems enthusiastic, more so than usual.
It is a bench under a circular tent-like structure sheltering us from the rain but the walls are open.
Discussion topics underneath shelter
She sits down at the picnic bench under the shelter with her body language open towards me, straddling the bench seat between her legs. Honestly, I wonder if she was getting tinglings in her lady area, because I think she was quite aroused.
To begin with, I sit side ways to her, with my thighs long ways to her legs facing me.
But then, at some point, I bring my legs inside the outer wooden strut of the picnic table close to hers, so our knees are touching. It is rare for me to be this close to a girl and I like it.
So here is the meat of the insta date. It is just me and her under this shelter, it is semi private, with people walking past outside, but we are somewhat obscured.
Pickup advice rings in my head with guys writing "dude, she wants you to kiss her". But it is way too soon for that and I am not comfortable in this situation yet.
Here the conversation is flowing smoothly, my eye contact is strong. She holds it, her eyes aren't darting around all over the place like in my last number close. By this point, I have totally forgotten about my bloodshot eye.
I am trying to figure this chick out, she has a kinda breakdancer/skater look, at one point I tell her she reminds me of the artist "Lady Sovereign" a British rapper who was big when I was a teenager. Again, I am careful not to bring age at this stage, so when I Google the artist, I am careful not to show her the main google bio which has her age and date of birth in big numbers on the biography page.
Anyway, I show her a pic of the artist she vaguely reminds me of and she mildly agrees that she does bear a passing resemblance.
I also ask if she has a car and she says no due to the expense to run one. I agree with hers despite being a former "car guy" this is Europe where peasants are priced out of running cars which are generally only for the well off!
So then I say "but I can see you on a motorbike" and she agrees and says she has thought about getting one. I tease her and say "try not to get squished though, as then I would be slightly disappointed if I didn't see you again". To which she laughs.
We discuss holidays and how we like to get out of England, because we find it depressing. It turns out, she has been to Amsterdam 4 times and likes the' magic mushrooms. She says they really open your mind up. She is also partial to weed. Maybe that is why she is so relaxed?
I wonder if she had some before this insta date as this is honestly kind of bizarre. I even say to her "this is weird" on a couple of occasions. Maybe she is even neurodiverse. It's just so weird how comfortable and passive she was compared to the receptions I usually get. But this is not the first time, this is now my 3rd date from daygame, the second being an insta date back in March and the first being May 2024 which was actually a prearranged meetup after a number close.
Despite being in daygame since 2018, it took me a couple of years to just become comfortable with approaching and conversations, let alone escalating to insta dates and getting numbers.
Infact, back when I started cold approach in 2018 distinctly remember a few encounters like this, but I was much more nervous back then and my voice would start trembling which made me have to abort the interaction despite the girl's apparent interest.
At this point and after so much discussion, I decide it is time to be a bit more intimate. I almost ask if I can touch her platted side ponytail but I stop myself and just gently do it under the guise of feeling the weight/density of it. I start with this and then do it again, later, for longer.
I also ask what she likes doing with her time and she says painting her nails, so I ask to see them and I can see they are not painted so I exclaim "oh, but they are so plain" as I use my fingers to hold up her fingers and look closely at them.
That was the extent of the kino escalation, aside from knees touching under the table and general close proximity to her. I did feel pressure to try to kiss her and I think that was what she was expecting but I have just never kissed a girl before and it was a semi public location which added to the pressure.
I also don't know how to aim a kiss, for instance, what if she moves her head and you get her eye or something?
So needless to say, a kiss didn't happen.
There are a couple of times where the conversation dies down and there is about a literal minute of silence with neither of us saying anything. I decided to just let it stew and one of us would eventually break the silence. I was scared that she would make her excuses and leave, but she didn't.
I asked about her piercing, she had a top lip stud piercing in the middle. I asked if she had tattoos and she said she had 2 which she describes to me. So I tried to ask more intimate things and she was okay with that, which is a good sign!
I didn't keep track of the time but I think we spent almost an hour out there under that shack on the uni campus. Eventually, we were both getting cold and shivering.
I have probably forgotten a few conversation topics because we spoke about loads but those were the highlights anyway.
So despite not going for the kiss, it was still progress from my last insta date as I was able to initiate some kino escalation although it wasn't very much but it didn't feel forced either.
Venue change to cafe
Since we were getting cold in the outside shelter, we decided to head indoors to the campus cafe where I did offer to buy her something but she declined. I honestly find this chick so unusual. It's odd that she doesn't want anything and just wants to chill. I haven't had an experience like this since the last instant date in March.
I actually get onto the subject of caring for elderly people and I admire the nurses that do so! She said she would appreciate that if she worked as a nurse and I said I thought she was quite caring and would make a good nurse to which she agreed.
We also discuss movies, she says she likes zombie horrors but I say I think they are boring and prefer psychological horrors. There is this classic British zombie horror called "28 days later" which I ask her if she has seen but she says she hasn't. I was surprised to find she hasn't seen it, but apparently she missed it. I suggest that we could both watch it together at some point and she agrees.
So now it's finally getting to the point where she has to meet her friend and we are starting to make a move. She says she felt comfortable with me which is great feedback.
So we walk together to the bus station and when we get there it's crowded and packed so we say our good bye's at that end of the bus station, I give her a little awkward side hug and she reciprocates.
So there it is then, the longest time I have spent with a girl, completely unexpectedly, too.
Opening text and reply
I texted her that I enjoyed spending time with her and hope that she did too and that I would like to see her again. I ended asking if she made it home.
She replied saying she enjoyed my company and of course she would like to see me again.
Potential obstacle over age gap
I am pretty sure this chick assumes I am in my 20s and believe me, I feel like I am. But I am just about to turn 36 and I feel like this will be a deal breaker if the subject of age comes up.
In the insta date back in March, the chick said she thought I was 25 initially (I was honest with my age and told her I was 35) and brought it up a couple of times which I think might have put her off as she never got back to me despite giving her my number afterwards. I am not sure how to broach this subject. So there is a paranoia that she thinks I am 10 years younger than I am.
Moving forward from here
For once, I have a live number and need to know the goals of a second meetup. She lives at home with her parents so we can't go there. I have a feeling if I don't atleast kiss her she will be disappointed and I feel I should escalate somehow as that is what she is expecting and I could do with a lay on the books.
I could suggest she comes back to my place but it is not the best for this sort of thing as my bedroom isn't very private due to being at the front of the apartment where the windows are.
So I am unsure what to do as sim
ply meeting up and chatting is probably going to lead to her losing interest.
It is nice to need this kind of advice for once!
