Started Strong, Ended in the Friend Zone Where Did I Lose Her?

[Lucky hunt]

When we first started hanging out, we went on our first little date after getting our stuff, and she was kind of hesitant at first. But as we were walking around talking, I was thinking to myself that I needed to move fast. That’s when she told me she was a virgin. She said she didn’t really do anything like that, but at the time I didn’t know she was talking to another guy. She was talking to both of us, and they were off and on. I had kind of just come into the picture, and I think they were still technically dating at the time. I went ahead and tried to kiss her, but she stopped me and said she had never had her first kiss. So I backed off and just gave her an Eskimo kiss instead.
The next time we went out, she started acting a little strange, and that’s when I found out about the other guy. She was kind of hiding and ducking around, and I asked her why she was acting like that. She just said there were a lot of people out and she didn’t like to be seen. I thought it was weird, but I told myself maybe she was just shy because she is a shy person.
After that, when I came back to see her again, she ghosted me. Like she literally stopped texting me completely. It felt like I got ghosted, and I didn’t understand why. I started thinking maybe I was doing too much or wanting more than she could give. Looking back, I think I was already picking up on the fact that there was another guy involved. She ghosted me, went home, and then eventually came back.
When she came back, I saw her again and went over to her dorm. She was sick, and we were just talking and spending time together. That’s how I got back in with her. The next time I hung out with her after that, it felt like her and the other guy had fully broken up. She told me that she did like me, but she also said that I was too touchy. She said I made her feel like I was just trying to get in her pants, and that wasn’t the impression she expected from me. She said I was supposed to be different, but instead I made her feel like every other guy. That made her feel like she couldn’t trust me.
After hearing that, I told myself I needed to slow everything down. I needed to stop being so aggressive and bring things back. But then I think I went too far the other way. I started getting her to open up more and talk more, and I even started asking about her past and her exes. I remember thinking I might be doing something wrong, but I kept going anyway. At one point, I even said we could be best friends, and I feel like she took that seriously. Looking back, I think that’s when I really started falling into the friend role.
One thing that confused me is that she never really made eye contact with me. She’s very shy and kind of hidden, so I kept telling myself that’s just her personality. I let a lot of things slide because of that. When we would hang out, I would suggest doing things like going downtown or going out, but she would usually just follow along without much enthusiasm. She was shy, so I didn’t push it too much.
Now it feels like she only hangs out with me or texts me because the other guy isn’t around anymore and she doesn’t have anyone else to talk to. She even told me directly that she sees me more as a friend, not sexually or in a relationship way. That honestly hurt and made me mad at the same time. Now I’m trying to figure out how to get back to the position I was in before, because it feels like she doesn’t really want me like that anymore. It feels like she just talks to me when she’s bored. Every time we hang out now, it feels like I get invited over, and then after a while she finds a way to get rid of me, like I’m overstaying my welcome.
At the same time, she wants me to be the one to take her out of being bored, but she’s hard to actually get out and do anything. I tried to suggest going on a date, and she said she doesn’t date and that she doesn’t do that. That left me confused, because I’m sitting there thinking what am I supposed to do if I actually like her and want something more.
There was also a time when we were drinking together, and she opened up a lot about her past. She told me she was adopted, that her parents split, and that she went through a lot growing up. She even cried in front of me and told me about serious things that happened in her family. After that, she got upset because she said she opened up like that and then I didn’t text her for two days. The truth is, I got sick during that time and didn’t really know what to say, so I just waited. But at the same time, I was also waiting for her to show more interest in me first, so it felt like we were both waiting on each other.
Another time we hung out in the library, and I suggested watching Avatar together. While we were there, she said if she kissed me I would want it. I told her I wasn’t like that and that I wasn’t that lustful. When she leaned in, I pulled my head back and instead kissed her on the forehead. After that, she kind of looked down, and looking back on it, I feel like that might have made her feel like I wasn’t that guy anymore. It made me start thinking that maybe she feels like she has control over me now.
I also kept trying to understand why she chose the other guy over me. She told me he was her first kiss and that he made her feel more loved. That made me realize that maybe she felt more emotional comfort with him than with me. Eventually, she admitted that she did ghost me, and the reason was because she knew him longer and had more history with him. She had only been talking to me for about two months at that point.
There were also smaller moments that I think mattered. Like when I first walked into her room and tried to grab her hand to look at her nails, she pulled away like she didn’t want me touching her. Or when she made it clear again that she doesn’t see me in a sexual way and only as a friend.
At the same time, when we were drinking and talking, she told me that I’m easier to talk to when I’m more relaxed. She said I don’t stare as hard and I’m not as touchy. The problem is, I don’t really know how to control that because when I’m around her, I’m really into her. I like her a lot, and I think she can feel that, to the point where she might think I love her.
She also told me that when I call her beautiful, it doesn’t really hit for her because she feels like people don’t mean it. So I feel like she has her own mental things from her past that affect how she sees things. Meanwhile, I’m someone who shows affection through words and touch, so I think that mismatch might have played a role too.
Now I feel like I messed up by not balancing things right. I was too aggressive at first, then too soft after that. Now I feel like I’m the one chasing her, and she doesn’t really want me anymore. Even when I tried to move things forward again, like asking to date, she shut it down and said she doesn’t date.
At this point, I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to fix it or if I should just leave it alone and go no contact. I really like her, but it feels like I lost my position, and now I’m stuck trying to figure out if there’s any way to get it back or if I should just move on.



12/25/2025 - 8:58 PM
Me: Merry Christmas Maxine hope you’ve been doing well.

03/19/2026 - 10:21 PM
Max: Hey

03/19/2026 - 10:21 PM
Me: Hey

03/19/2026 - 10:21 PM
Max: This is Bruce right

03/19/2026 - 10:21 PM
Max: Bryce

03/19/2026 - 10:21 PM
Me: Yes

03/19/2026 - 10:21 PM
Me: Did you delete my number

03/19/2026 - 10:21 PM
Max: Umm maybe

03/19/2026 - 10:22 PM
Max: But I found it

03/19/2026 - 10:22 PM
Me: Smh

03/19/2026 - 10:22 PM
Me:

03/19/2026 - 10:22 PM
Max: I found it tho so

03/19/2026 - 10:22 PM
Max: Wyd

03/19/2026 - 10:22 PM
Me: Look I made my first buffalo pizza

03/19/2026 - 10:23 PM
Max: Oh that’s cool

03/19/2026 - 10:24 PM
Max: I don’t know how u eat that

03/19/2026 - 10:24 PM
Me: What you don’t like pizza?

03/19/2026 - 10:25 PM
Me: Ohh and how are you feeling

03/19/2026 - 10:38 PM
Max: Not really

03/19/2026 - 10:38 PM
Max: Still sick but now my nose is like super sneezy

03/19/2026 - 10:49 PM
Me: Nah you really going through it you need soup and to stay in bed fr

03/19/2026 - 10:50 PM
Max: Yea ik

03/19/2026 - 10:51 PM
Max: But I’m okay I’m more worried about the fact that you came over

03/19/2026 - 10:51 PM
Max: U may get sick I’m ngl

03/19/2026 - 10:56 PM
Me: You right I might get sick you better be a good nurse then

03/19/2026 - 11:03 PM
Max: Nope sorry

03/19/2026 - 11:05 PM
Me: I knew you wouldn’t be reliable

03/19/2026 - 11:08 PM
Max: Whattt no

03/19/2026 - 11:09 PM
Max: I don’t see you over here

03/19/2026 - 11:10 PM
Max: If you were nursing me back to health and got sick then I would help you
03/19/2026 - 11:16 PM
Me: So now I gotta prove I’m a good nurse first

03/19/2026 - 11:20 PM
Max: No more like if you help me I’ll help you

03/19/2026 - 11:21 PM
Max: Actually nvm I’ll help u because im a nice person

03/19/2026 - 11:23 PM
Me: Alright I’ll hold you to that

03/19/2026 - 11:24 PM
Me: But I still can’t believe you don’t like pizza though

03/19/2026 - 11:27 PM
Max: I like little Cesar’s

03/19/2026 - 11:28 PM
Max: I don’t like buffalo chicken pizza

03/19/2026 - 11:30 PM
Me: Alright I’m not judging… but I might have to put you on real pizza

03/19/2026 - 11:32 PM
Max: Hmmm I don’t know about that

03/19/2026 - 11:36 PM
Me: Yeah you don’t got a choice now

03/19/2026 - 11:41 PM
Max: I’m pretty sure I still do

03/19/2026 - 11:41 PM
Max: And I choose no

03/19/2026 - 11:42 PM
Max: I’m jp

03/19/2026 - 11:45 PM
Me: Alright keep that same energy when I prove you wrong

03/19/2026 - 11:50 PM
Max: Me?

03/19/2026 - 11:50 PM
Max: Your gonna prove me wrong

03/19/2026 - 11:51 PM
Max: Okayy I guess

03/19/2026 - 11:55 PM
Me: Yeah you, don’t act surprised… I’ll make it easy for you though

03/19/2026 - 11:59 PM
Max: What?

03/20/2026 - 12:03 AM
Me: I mean I’ll make it easy for you to admit I’m right about the pizza

03/20/2026 - 12:23 AM
Max: Okay

03/20/2026 - 12:24 AM
Max: So we gonna hang out again? As friend

03/20/2026 - 5:50 AM
Me: Why you trying to label it already, we just getting pizza

03/20/2026 - 6:56 AM
Max: Okay

03/20/2026 - 6:59 AM
Max: We shouldn’t get pizza

03/20/2026 - 10:21 AM
Me: Alright we’ll figure something better out then

03/20/2026 - 11:23 AM
Max: Maybe

03/20/2026 - 11:34 AM
Me: You always say maybe like that?

03/20/2026 - 11:44 AM
Max: I mean I guess. I just spell out maybe and send it

03/20/2026 - 11:57 AM
Me: That’s fair, I feel like you overthink a little

03/20/2026 - 12:55 PM
Max: What I do not

03/20/2026 - 12:55 PM
Max: I say maybe because I don’t know if it is a yes but it’s not a no

03/20/2026 - 12:57 PM
Me: That’s fair, I’ll take a maybe over a no… we making progress

03/20/2026 - 1:09 PM
Max: Okay

03/20/2026 - 1:12 PM
Max: Wyd

03/20/2026 - 1:12 PM
Me: In class

03/20/2026 - 1:13 PM
Me: Hby

03/20/2026 - 1:29 PM
Max: U have so many tabs open

03/20/2026 - 1:30 PM
Max: Why do u need lidocaine?

03/20/2026 - 1:38 PM
Me: yeah I got a lot going on… lidocaine is a long story tho

03/20/2026 - 1:39 PM
Max: Uh huh

03/20/2026 - 1:42 PM
Me: you not buying it huh

03/20/2026 - 1:44 PM
Me: you in class or you done for the day

03/20/2026 - 1:53 PM
Max: im done w clas

03/20/2026 - 4:02 PM
Me: so what you getting into now

03/20/2026 - 5:02 PM
Max: Nothing

03/20/2026 - 5:09 PM
Me: you bored then, I can come check on you for a bit

03/20/2026 - 5:44 PM
Max: Well I’m not really at my dorm rn

03/20/2026 - 5:45 PM
Max: But u cool for wanting to check up on me

03/20/2026 - 5:50 PM
Me: you always somewhere else huh

03/20/2026 - 6:05 PM
Max: No

03/20/2026 - 6:05 PM
Max: I’m back now

03/20/2026 - 6:06 PM
Max: But I’m lowkey just gonna go to bed

03/20/2026 - 6:10 PM
Me: alright get some rest, feel better

03/20/2026 - 7:29 PM
Max: Nope

03/20/2026 - 7:30 PM
Max: Wyd
03/21/2026 - 10:47 AM
Me: On camp

03/21/2026 - 7:21 PM
Max: cool u going to the frat thing tonight????

03/21/2026 - 7:28 PM
Me: probably not, you thinking about going?

03/22/2026 - 2:47 AM
Me: Hey what you doing max

04/03/2026 - 10:22 PM
Me: What are you doing tonight?

04/09/2026 - 8:10 PM
Max: Hey

04/09/2026 - 8:47 PM
Me: Hey

04/09/2026 - 8:53 PM
Max: How are you

04/09/2026 - 8:59 PM
Me: Good, getting ready to go to the gym hby

04/09/2026 - 9:03 PM
Max: Oooo cool

04/09/2026 - 9:03 PM
Max: I’m getting ready to go to the libary

04/09/2026 - 9:07 PM
Me: What are you going to study at the library

04/09/2026 - 9:14 PM
Max: Nothing

04/09/2026 - 9:14 PM
Max: I gotta write down some notes for class tmr

04/09/2026 - 9:21 PM
Me: Take a break from that, come to the gym with me for a bit then we’ll go back and finish your notes

04/09/2026 - 9:30 PM
Max: Hmm no

04/09/2026 - 9:30 PM
Max: U can come when u get done taking a shower

04/09/2026 - 9:30 PM
Max: U can’t hang out after working out u gonna get sweaty

04/09/2026 - 9:34 PM
Me: That way I need you to come wipe the sweat off me

04/09/2026 - 9:35 PM
Max: Ew no

04/09/2026 - 9:40 PM
Max: I’m kidding sweat is natural but a shower would be better

04/09/2026 - 9:53 PM
Me: Shower does sound good?

04/09/2026 - 9:54 PM
Me: How my best friend doing

04/09/2026 - 10:03 PM
Max: Me? I’m okay

04/09/2026 - 10:03 PM
Max: I’m just makin notes

04/09/2026 - 10:10 PM
Me: No lol

04/09/2026 - 10:10 PM
Me: Your roommate?

04/09/2026 - 10:17 PM
Max: Oh…….okay

04/09/2026 - 10:17 PM
Max: Shes good

04/09/2026 - 10:17 PM
Max: I don’t really know I don’t talk to her that much

04/09/2026 - 10:22 PM
Me: I’m just leaving the gym, you still want me to stop by?

04/09/2026 - 10:27 PM
Max: No its okay

04/09/2026 - 10:27 PM
Max: I’m prolly gonna leave at like 11:30 anyways

04/09/2026 - 10:29 PM
Me: Ok

04/09/2026 - 10:56 PM
Max: Yeaaaa

04/09/2026 - 10:56 PM
Max: U got classes tmr

04/09/2026 - 10:58 PM
Me: Yea at 11am to 11:50am and 1pm to 1:50pm

04/09/2026 - 10:59 PM
Me: Hby

04/09/2026 - 11:14 PM
Max: Oh fun

04/09/2026 - 11:14 PM
Max: I have 3 but at 9-1

04/09/2026 - 11:15 PM
Me: See you missing your opportunity

04/09/2026 - 11:18 PM
Max: Wdym

04/09/2026 - 11:20 PM
Me: Use hanging out tomorrow, but you bad for business.

04/09/2026 - 11:25 PM
Max: What?

04/09/2026 - 11:25 PM
Max: I’m bad for buisness? what does that mean

04/10/2026 - 12:30 AM
Me: That is a figure of speech.

04/10/2026 - 12:43 AM
Max: Hmmmm okay

04/10/2026 - 12:44 AM
Me: Night text you in the am

04/10/2026 - 12:58 PM
Max: Heyy

04/10/2026 - 1:35 PM
Me: Hey

04/10/2026 - 1:38 PM
Me: I'm tired, and I want to go to sleep.

04/10/2026 - 1:46 PM
Max: Oh okay

04/10/2026 - 1:46 PM
Max: Have a good nap

04/10/2026 - 9:56 PM
Max: Hello?

04/10/2026 - 9:56 PM
Me: Hello

04/10/2026 - 9:59 PM
Max: wthhh okay nvm

04/10/2026 - 9:59 PM
Max: Wyd

04/10/2026 - 9:59 PM
Me: Packing my bag. How was class today
04/10/2026 - 10:01 PM
Max: Oh you going home?

04/10/2026 - 10:02 PM
Max: My classes was good I skipped one tho

04/10/2026 - 10:02 PM
Me: Yea probably tonight or tomorrow

04/10/2026 - 10:02 PM
Max: Oooo okay sounds fun

04/10/2026 - 10:02 PM
Me: You skipped??

04/10/2026 - 10:02 PM
Max: Yea

04/10/2026 - 10:02 PM
Max: She don’t take attendance i

04/10/2026 - 10:03 PM
Me: Sounds like a Trouble maker

04/10/2026 - 10:04 PM
Max: Sure

04/10/2026 - 10:04 PM
Max: Soo u gonna leave tonight

04/10/2026 - 10:08 PM
Me: I might stay tonight, still deciding… you tryna hang?

04/10/2026 - 10:09 PM
Me: And what class was it that you skipped?

04/10/2026 - 10:13 PM
Max: Yeaa u wanna come over

04/10/2026 - 10:13 PM
Max: Ummmmm government

04/10/2026 - 10:13 PM
Me: Yea

04/10/2026 - 10:15 PM
Me: I’m on my way over

04/10/2026 - 10:16 PM
Max: Okay lemme know when u here

04/10/2026 - 10:24 PM
Me: I'm here but I'm at the back door

04/10/2026 - 10:24 PM
Me: Not the one facing the road.

04/11/2026 - 12:26 AM
Me: Yo I'm outside

04/11/2026 - 2:44 AM
Max: You good?

04/11/2026 - 2:44 AM
Max: Bruce I lowkey feel bad for you

04/11/2026 - 2:45 AM
Max: Lemme know when u get back

04/11/2026 - 9:42 PM
Me: Hey I thought I texted lol

04/11/2026 - 9:48 PM
Me: Look I got a list of movies that we need to watch

04/11/2026 - 10:16 PM
Max: okay

04/11/2026 - 10:19 PM
Me: What you do today

04/11/2026 - 10:42 PM
Max: um idk

04/11/2026 - 10:42 PM
Max: sleep

04/11/2026 - 11:10 PM
Me: I feel you, but back to the market point. What's your favorite movie genre?

04/11/2026 - 11:19 PM
Max: idk comedy or action

04/11/2026 - 11:25 PM
Me: Yo, my favorite comedy movie is Friday... Have you ever seen it?

04/11/2026 - 11:31 PM
Max: Yesss I love Chris tuckerrrrr

04/11/2026 - 11:31 PM
Max: That’s used to be my favorite movie all through hs

04/11/2026 - 11:49 PM
Me: Right 10 out of 10

04/11/2026 - 11:51 PM
Me: I really wish they would make another one.

04/12/2026 - 12:07 AM
Max: well they did

04/12/2026 - 1:24 AM
Me: Yeah, I know that but it's not a new new one

04/12/2026 - 10:09 PM
Max: yea

04/15/2026 - 8:01 PM
Max: Okay bro

04/15/2026 - 8:01 PM
Me: What

04/15/2026 - 8:01 PM
Me: ??

04/15/2026 - 8:02 PM
Max: Your most confusing dude I have ever met

04/15/2026 - 8:03 PM
Max: Actually nvm its okay

04/15/2026 - 8:05 PM
Me: Lol, I miss you too.

04/15/2026 - 8:10 PM
Max: nahh don’t do that

04/15/2026 - 8:10 PM
Max: You are so confusing

04/15/2026 - 8:10 PM
Me: Have you watched the avatar?

04/15/2026 - 8:11 PM
Me: How

04/15/2026 - 8:14 PM
Me: Avatar is the first movie we’re gonna watch together

04/15/2026 - 8:15 PM
Max: No

04/15/2026 - 8:16 PM
Max: You really think I’m gonna hang out with you again

04/15/2026 - 8:16 PM
Max: Nahhhhh you play around to much

04/15/2026 - 8:17 PM
Me: I'm confused… I'm not playing around.

04/15/2026 - 8:19 PM
Me: What made you think that ?

04/15/2026 - 8:23 PM
Max: Ew I dont wanna say it

04/15/2026 - 8:23 PM
Max: It sounds so lame

04/15/2026 - 8:24 PM
Max: But anyways

04/15/2026 - 8:24 PM
Me: Say it... I want to understand better.

04/15/2026 - 8:25 PM
Max: No

04/15/2026 - 8:27 PM
Me: I won't judge you, but I really need you to be honest with me and share things.

04/15/2026 - 8:28 PM
Me: So come on, I haven't left you or abandoned you

04/15/2026 - 8:31 PM
Max: What?

04/15/2026 - 8:31 PM
Me: Nvm

04/15/2026 - 8:32 PM
Max: I thought we were chilling

04/15/2026 - 8:32 PM
Me: So, are we still watching the Avatar movie?

04/15/2026 - 8:33 PM
Me: Let's shoot for Friday

04/15/2026 - 8:33 PM
Max: No

04/15/2026 - 8:33 PM
Max: Nah you gonna ghost me again

04/15/2026 - 8:33 PM
Max: So ima do it first \

04/15/2026 - 8:33 PM
Max: Bye Bryce

04/15/2026 - 8:33 PM
Me: I told you I didn't ghost you

04/15/2026 - 8:34 PM
Me: In the first place

04/15/2026 - 8:34 PM
Me: It's just been a day since we talked

04/15/2026 - 8:34 PM
Max: You literally did but it’s okay

04/15/2026 - 8:35 PM
Me: No I didn't

04/15/2026 - 8:39 PM
Me: Why would you even think that?
04/15/2026 - 8:59 PM
Me: Now that I'm starting to think about it your actions are really pissing me off… literally have been going over to your room trying to be the best person I could be to you and you keep putting up blocks and giving me a hard.

04/15/2026 - 9:00 PM
Me: Like I want to be. And you just said bye, Bryce. Don’t ever just tell me bye, Bryce. I hate that. I was so happy when I met you, and when we first hung out, and you told me you read your little Bible, I thought we could have a Bible study together. Then I thought we got close when we last hung out together and you cried and opened up to me. For the past two days, I have been thinking about how I felt really excited to meet somebody like you and just thinking about everything you said. I was happy that at least we could’ve kept going, and I’m sorry that you felt that I ghosted you. I reallyy

04/15/2026 - 9:02 PM
Me: Okay

04/15/2026 - 9:03 PM
Max: Okay

04/15/2026 - 9:03 PM
Max: Don’t think I wasn’t excited either but you leave me on delivered for days

04/15/2026 - 9:05 PM
Max: I mean would I invite you over to my room if I didn’t like you

04/15/2026 - 9:05 PM
Max: But then you don’t text me

04/15/2026 - 9:05 PM
Max: That’s gonna raise lots of questions

04/15/2026 - 9:06 PM
Max: How are my actions pissing you off????

04/15/2026 - 9:06 PM
Max: Your the one making me mad

04/15/2026 - 9:20 PM
Max: ???

04/15/2026 - 9:23 PM
Me: I understand where you are coming from now. And

04/15/2026 - 9:24 PM
Me: Hey give me some time to txt back. I’m not good a txt or English… I’m in a math major give me numbers and I can do that quicker

04/15/2026 - 9:28 PM
Me: lol but to finish what I was talking about I want to move pass this and I’m still stuck on the avatar movie

04/15/2026 - 9:28 PM
Me: https://flixzone.co/watch/movie-the-legend-of-aang-the-last-airbender-b5gj4#ep=1

04/15/2026 - 9:29 PM
Me: But you can’t watch it with out me

04/15/2026 - 9:36 PM
Max: Oh no I’m gonna watch it

04/15/2026 - 9:36 PM
Max: How did u find this??? It wasn’t supposed to come out till October

04/15/2026 - 9:37 PM
Me: not without me

04/15/2026 - 9:38 PM
Me: I can’t snitch on my contacts

04/15/2026 - 10:44 PM
Max: Okay I actually wanna watch it

04/15/2026 - 10:44 PM
Max: I can’t wait

04/16/2026 - 2:00 PM
Me: You know what I really need to go shopping

04/16/2026 - 2:41 PM
Max: Oh me too

04/16/2026 - 2:42 PM
Max: Wanna buy me a big pack of water

04/16/2026 - 2:57 PM
Me: That depends are you a deer spring? Or Aquafina.

04/16/2026 - 3:04 PM
Max: Aquafina

04/16/2026 - 3:27 PM
Me: That’s my favorite one too

04/16/2026 - 3:38 PM
Max: cool

04/16/2026 - 3:54 PM
Me:

04/16/2026 - 3:59 PM
Max: What

04/16/2026 - 3:59 PM
Max: It is cool we like the same water

04/16/2026 - 4:41 PM
Me: Yes wyd

04/16/2026 - 5:32 PM
Max: Nothing for right now

04/16/2026 - 5:32 PM
Max: What are you doing

04/16/2026 - 5:32 PM
Me: Dancing

04/16/2026 - 5:33 PM
Max: Where?

04/16/2026 - 5:35 PM
Me: Over here on Lewis street

04/16/2026 - 5:36 PM
Me: But frfr I need to get the HW done

04/16/2026 - 5:36 PM
Me: You want to do it

04/16/2026 - 5:43 PM
Max: no I gotta do my own

04/16/2026 - 5:43 PM
Me: Max pretty please with a cherry on top

04/16/2026 - 5:44 PM
Max: no

04/16/2026 - 5:44 PM
Max: Your a big boy

04/16/2026 - 5:44 PM
Max: Go to the library not go dancing

04/16/2026 - 5:45 PM
Me: But dance is so fun… let’s go dancing together

04/16/2026 - 5:46 PM
Max: oh no no no

04/16/2026 - 5:46 PM
Max: I’m good

04/16/2026 - 5:49 PM
Me: Stop pretending, I know you’re a good dancer.

 

[OldGuy]

I have found the friend zone is a place I put myself by not making love to women. Some points"
1. Touchy may mean you are giving too many public display of affection before the relationship is deep enough.
2. If she is having you in he dorm room alone, this is an escalation window, and you need to make love to her (if you make a mistake, it might not happen).
3. Basically, you ae only offering friendship, and she wants more!

Frankly, the whole thing sounds like a lot the relationships I had starting out!

 

[Lucky hunt]

I have found the friend zone is a place I put myself by not making love to women. Some points"
1. Touchy may mean you are giving too many public display of affection before the relationship is deep enough.
2. If she is having you in he dorm room alone, this is an escalation window, and you need to make love to her (if you make a mistake, it might not happen).
3. Basically, you ae only offering friendship, and she wants more!

Frankly, the whole thing sounds like a lot the relationships I had starting out!

Thank you for your response.


When I made the post, I had just come back from her dorm. I believe I already posted the messages, but when I was there, it was just me and her. She had music playing, and I tried to create some physical contact to build attraction. I said, “Hey, let’s dance,” and she was like, “No, no, no,” but I grabbed her and we danced anyway. She seemed shy and said she was embarrassed. Sometimes when I touch her, she pulls back, so I’m wondering how to build attraction, especially since she’s a virgin and has only had one kiss. It feels different compared to other girls where I can just start kissing them. How should I approach this so I can move things toward sex?


For the second part, I think you might be right. I noticed she kept putting on lip chapstick repeatedly, and she kept asking me, “So what are we doing?” or “Where are we going?” I would suggest going somewhere or for a walk, and she would say no. It made me feel like she wanted me to entertain her, but maybe I was wrong. At the same time, I felt like we were just sitting in the room, so I didn’t really start deeper conversations. When I asked what she does when she goes home for the summer, she told me she likes to party. Because of that, I feel like she might have been hinting at something.


I also asked her what she would think about dating, and she told me she doesn’t date people.


Before I left, she asked what time I had to go, and I said, “In a minute.” After that, she got on her phone and stayed on it a lot. I started thinking she might be talking to another guy, but at the same time, she’s always on her phone. I also think she uses her phone when she feels uncomfortable, since she texts and snaps a lot of people. Then her phone started buzzing, which really made me feel like it could’ve been another guy. She then said, “Okay, bye,” which made me feel like she might’ve been texting someone else or that I just bored her and she wanted me to leave. It felt like she was implying that I should go.


After I left, she messages me asked me to go get her something, which made me feel like she was trying to friend-zone me as the guy who gets her stuff. At one point, she asked me to get something for her, and I told her no and said I would talk to her later because I felt like she was trying to make me an orbiter.


Do you think I still have another shot? I feel like she might invite me back.


Also, I told her that for the next two weeks, since finals are coming up, I need to lock in and study, so I won’t be talking to anyone. But I do want to talk to her again after finals because my computer science workload is going to be heavy.


My main questions right now are:

1. Do you think she’ll open up another escalation window?
2. What should I do in that situation? Should I just grab her and kiss her even if she acts shy or pulls back, or should I approach it differently, since she tends to back away when things get sexual?

 

[OldGuy]

Another guy: One of the women I had this type of relationship with years later was telling me and her husband about a time I took her sailing. I was NOT the guy who took her sailing, but I am who she remembered. Don't worry about other guys, if she gets serious with someone else, she will let you know, but until you get serious with her, she is free to date other guys.
I think she will open another escalation window, but let things proceed slowly. Sit next to her, light touch to start, move closer so your legs are touching, touch her hands, face, then start kissing. One step back, two steps forward is the standard recommendation.

 

[Lucky hunt]

Another guy: One of the women I had this type of relationship with years later was telling me and her husband about a time I took her sailing. I was NOT the guy who took her sailing, but I am who she remembered. Don't worry about other guys, if she gets serious with someone else, she will let you know, but until you get serious with her, she is free to date other guys.
I think she will open another escalation window, but let things proceed slowly. Sit next to her, light touch to start, move closer so your legs are touching, touch her hands, face, then start kissing. One step back, two steps forward is the standard recommendation.

Hey, thank you I understand what you're saying.

She actually did text me, but I didn’t reply at the time because I told her I was going to focus on studying for the weekend. I’m planning to hit her back either Thursday or Friday to set something up and hang out again.

This is what the last interaction looked like:

April 19, 2026 – 3:01 PM
Max: Eye

April 19, 2026 – 3:01 PM
Max: Why

April 19, 2026 – 3:01 PM
Max: Wyd

April 19, 2026 – 4:19 PM
Me: tryna be productive today, got java work and laundry.
what you getting into?

April 19, 2026 – 4:38 PM
Max: Nothing

April 19, 2026 – 4:38 PM
Max: You wanna come over later

April 19, 2026 – 4:38 PM
Max: Like later later

April 19, 2026 – 4:39 PM
Me: Yeah, that sounds good.

April 19, 2026 – 5:04 PM
Max: The room is gonna look a little different tho

April 19, 2026 – 5:10 PM
Me: Alright

April 19, 2026 – 7:50 PM
Max: U wanna come over

April 19, 2026 – 7:57 PM
Me: Yea

April 19, 2026 – 8:01 PM
Max: Okay lemme know whe u here

April 19, 2026 – 8:12 PM
Me: I'm here

April 19, 2026 – 9:35 PM
Max: R u still gonna go out

April 19, 2026 – 9:36 PM
Me: Yea

April 19, 2026 – 9:36 PM
Max: If so can you stop by subway and get me a big bag of chips

April 19, 2026 – 9:36 PM
Max: Can you?

April 19, 2026 – 9:36 PM
Me: Subway???

April 19, 2026 – 9:38 PM
Max: Uh huh they sell like big bags of chips in there

April 19, 2026 – 9:38 PM
Max: Like family size but it’s at the west end one

April 19, 2026 – 9:39 PM
Me: Max, I'm not going that way. Doordash it.

April 19, 2026 – 9:39 PM
Me: But I ttyl

April 20, 2026 – 9:17 AM
Max: dangg Laughing face emoji

 

[Lucky hunt]

Okay, update on me and Max.

So last Friday she told me she was bored, and I was like, I'm coming over. I saw this as my chance to finally kiss her.

When I got to her dorm, it was chill. She was watching Avatar on her iPad, and we started talking about exams and then about her.

During the conversation, I was trying to build up to something by adding small touches. She said, “you make me hot and nervous,” and I played it off and kept the conversation going.

After that, I suggested we watch a movie so we could get more comfortable, which led us to laying in the bed together.

---

We started watching Encanto. I slowly got closer by having our legs touch, then putting my arm around her and moving it down.

At that point, I tried to kiss her by leaning in and looking at her face.

She said, “no, you can’t kiss me on my lips. I have boundaries.”

She said I could kiss her anywhere else, so I kissed her on the forehead.

---

After that, I leaned in again earlier while we were talking, and she told me no again. I let it go, didn’t say anything, and just played it off while we kept talking and stayed close.

Then she repeated that I could kiss her, just not on the lips, so I kissed her on the forehead.

---

She then said I could kiss her anywhere else, so I went to her neck. I pulled her hair back and kissed her neck, and she said it tickled.

I played it off like I didn’t know what she was talking about.

---

We stayed cuddled up. I had my arm around her chest, but whenever I tried to move it lower, she would move it back up.

She made a comment about it, and I joked about it but didn’t push it.

At one point she turned back, smiled, and said “how rude,” and I played that off too.

She also told me not to tell anyone what we were doing, and I told her nobody would know.

---

oh and right before the movie, she went to wash up and came back with her hair wet. She said she had never had a boy in her dorm before and was walking around in a towel. I told her it wasn’t a big deal.

After that, we went back to the bed and continued watching the movie, and she ended up laying on me and almost falling asleep.

---

When I was leaving, I was rubbing her back she was worried about her spine and everything else and I said nothing I didn't even act like I didn't hear like it wasn't that big of a deal and then I was rubbing her head this is when she was about to fall asleep But before she was about to follow asleep she turned around and looked at me and said you don't tell nobody about what we do or hang out And I was like I made a joke and said my mom and she said that's fine but you don't tell nobody else around the school or anything like that and I was like no I don't think nobody really cares And she said I got to make sure you don't kiss and tell

---

But when I tried to leave I tried to kiss her again Just to make sure I can seal the deal I tried to kiss her on her neck or forehead and I think this is where I messed up at.

The first time she gave a little resistance but didn’t fully stop it.

The second time she gave much stronger resistance.

After I left, she texted me saying we are friends.

I waited until later and just replied, “okay cool.”

---

Now I’m confused.

I don’t know if that was the right response or why she put me in the friend zone.

I’m wondering if I pushed too much, especially with trying to kiss her again.

It also feels like she might think I don’t respect boundaries.

---

But overall, I did kiss her, just not on the lips.

She stopped me twice from kissing her on the lips but allowed kisses on her forehead and neck.

We were cuddled up with her laying on me, legs on me, and she was about to fall asleep.

I was playing with her hair and rubbing her back, and she mentioned being insecure about her back.

In the text messages are also weighted the text are back because I kinda got mad she says let's just be friends and I want her to think about that and then I'll send a short text message back I don't know if that was a I don't know if that was a good

Text Messages:

I don't know if that was a good idea now that i'm reading[Friday - 10:38 AM] Me: Good morning hope you have a great da I don't know if that was a good idea now that I'm reading ity

[Friday - 12:22 PM] MAX: Good morning Bryce

[Friday - 7:54 PM] MAX: Okay I’m bored wyd

[Friday - 8:01 PM] Me: Bet I’m coming over

[Friday - 8:08 PM] MAX: Actually?

[Friday - 8:08 PM] Me: Yea

[Friday - 8:08 PM] Me: I’m on camp right now

[Friday - 8:09 PM] MAX: Lmk when u here

[Friday - 8:13 PM] Me: I’m here

[Saturday - 12:37 AM] MAX: Hey Bryce we are great friends

[Saturday - 12:37 AM] MAX: Right

[Saturday - 12:37 AM] MAX: I don’t think I wanna be more than that tho.

[Saturday - 12:40 AM] MAX: I mean we can still hang out and stuff I don’t mind but like as friends

[Saturday - 12:41 AM] MAX: Like seriously no kissing I said no

[Saturday - 12:41 AM] MAX: But I wanna be friends?

[Saturday - 8:31 AM] Me: Okay cool

 

[OldGuy]

Hot and nervous indicates lots of attraction, but not enough similarity. I don't think you are really at "just be friends" stage yet, she is just worried that you will pump and dump her.

 

[Jamster]

@Lucky hunt

I think you need to be mentally and socially prepared to leave her. That is both your door to recovering from her and your only chance of getting her.

NOTE: I definitely do NOT mean having long discussions with her where you make weak girly-man threats that you are thinking of moving on.

Distance yourself. Start paying attention to women that ARE available to you. See other women - and more importantly, take the other women seriously.

Consider doing the excellent Newbie Assignment from this forum.

You may be able to get out of the friendzone with her, but not, not, NOT if she keeps you as her little pet prisoner.

 

[gameboy]

What I would do: Keep her as semi platonic cuddle buddy, and meet other girls at the same time.

A wise man once said: Changing her mind is a woman's prerogative. And since she said she wants to be just friends you are golden to keep pursuing others.

 

[Lucky hunt]

Hot and nervous indicates lots of attraction, but not enough similarity. I don't think you are really at "just be friends" stage yet, she is just worried that you will pump and dump her.

So when I hang out with her next, I need to build more similarity.

 

[Lucky hunt]

@Lucky hunt

I think you need to be mentally and socially prepared to leave her. That is both your door to recovering from her and your only chance of getting her.

NOTE: I definitely do NOT mean having long discussions with her where you make weak girly-man threats that you are thinking of moving on.

Distance yourself. Start paying attention to women that ARE available to you. See other women - and more importantly, take the other women seriously.

Consider doing the excellent Newbie Assignment from this forum.

You may be able to get out of the friendzone with her, but not, not, NOT if she keeps you as her little pet prisoner.

You are so right. For the past week, I have been trying to distance myself, and I really planned on not texting her back, especially during the summer. Also, thank you for replying to my post.

 

[Lucky hunt]

What I would do: Keep her as semi platonic cuddle buddy, and meet other girls at the same time.

A wise man once said: Changing her mind is a woman's prerogative. And since she said she wants to be just friends you are golden to keep pursuing others.

I would love to keep her as a platonic cuddle buddy. It’s just that whenever we hang out, I don’t really know what to talk about, and the conversations start feeling boring. I know a lot of deep stuff about her, like things from her past and little details about her life, but I can’t seem to have a normal, flowing conversation with her. I don’t know if it’s just me or what. If you have any ideas on how to help with that or improve it, I’d really appreciate it. I also can’t really get her to go out or do much either.


I like the interaction, but I don’t really know how to carry on conversations with her. Since it’s summertime, I’m going to try going out more and meeting new girls to talk to. I’m thinking about just texting her, but I don’t want things to get dry on my side, and then she gets bored with me. At that point, I’d rather just leave her alone instead of forcing it.


Also, I’d like to thank you for replying to my post.

 

[Jamster]

So last Friday she told me she was bored, and I was like, I'm coming over.

Wow. Dude.

So, you want to be the guy she's bored with?

Jeez.

At the very least: "You're bored? Come over here."

Extra credit for "We can dance around to some Prince jams." Double extra credit for "Wear your best underwear."

 

[Lucky hunt]

These messages pick up right after the “Okay cool” message from our previous conversation.

Earlier that week, before she texted me again, I saw her walking across campus. I walked up and said “hey, how are you doing?” while she was passing by me. She was on the phone at the time and acted kind of weird or uncomfortable. She quickly said something like “I’ll text you later” or “talk to you later” and kept walking. It made me feel like she did not really want to talk to me in person, and I assumed it might have been because of the “Okay cool” message from before.

Later on, she texted me asking if I could get drinks/alcohol for her. The way I interpreted the messages was that she mainly wanted alcohol and wanted to get drunk, but not necessarily hang out with me the same way we had before. The last time we drank together, we were both drinking together socially, and she had told me she liked drinking with me. This time, it felt more like she wanted me to get some for her specifically. I had also already told her previously that I was busy working on finals.

That Thursday night, around 11 PM, she texted me to ask if I was done with finals. I intentionally did not reply because I still felt frustrated and honestly wanted to leave her alone for a little while. At the time, I was still mad that she only wanted to talk to me to get alcohol and then would probably leave afterward, so I thought it would be smarter not to text back right away.

Then later she texted me again saying “hey.” Since she double-texted me, I decided to reply, but I waited really late, like a power move. In the later messages, she eventually admitted she was bored because everyone had left campus. I already knew her last final was on the 7th, and she was staying on campus until then. My interpretation was that she probably did not have many people left to talk to, or just wanted me to entertain her.

In general, she is very shy and does not socialize much at school. Most of the time when we hang out, she spends a lot of time on her phone scrolling through Instagram, TikTok, or texting a couple of people. She doesn’t really post much of herself, kind of like a boy who has social media just to watch other people. Conversations between us sometimes feel dry or boring.

Also, she’s in a foster care home, and her parents are separated. The court took her from them, and her mom is about to get out of drug rehab. She’s kind of aggravated about that. From what she told me, her mom was on drugs really badly, used to choke her, and was mean to her. From what I know, when she goes back home, she’s going to hang out with her sisters, who like to go out drinking and partying. So I figured that when she gets back home, she’s probably going to go out partying with them and end up ghosting me or not talking to me at all. Because of that, after she said she was bored, part of me felt like she was mainly texting me because there was nobody else around campus at the moment.

After she agreed that she was kind of bored, I just left it there and acted as if I had gone to sleep. Right now, my mindset is that I probably should not focus too much on texting her, plus it’s summer. I feel like once she goes back home, she will probably be busy with her own life, sisters, trips, and parties. She already mentioned going to Atlanta for a concert as well.

With how awkward she acted when I saw her in person, she has left me unsure about where I stand with her.

At this point, my current plan is probably to focus on myself over the summer, go out more, meet new girls, and not depend too much on this situation. Since finals are over for me, I have more free time now. Maybe next semester I can talk to her again and see where things go, assuming she still keeps in contact with me or has feelings.

Also, I feel like I have a pretty good chance because she’s really not considered pretty by most boys’ standards, but I think she’s pretty because I’m attracted to her. She’s not the prettiest girl I’ve ever talked to, and I’m not trying to sound wrong or mean, even though it may come off that way. I just know that most boys really won't talk to her or find her Attractive. That's why when we first talked, she was like Oh my God, you find me cute So she kind of has low self-esteem. But I do understand some boys will talk to or hook up with almost anybody, so there’s always somebody.
So what do you all think? Or do you have any ideas? Please call me out on anything you feel is different, wrong, or whatever it may be, or if you have any ideas or any advice, I very much appreciate it.

[Thursday - 1:24 PM] MAX: Hey Bryce I have a question

[Thursday - 1:24 PM] MAX: Maybe a favor

[Thursday - 1:24 PM] MAX: Only if you want o

[Thursday - 1:51 PM] Me: What’s up?

[Thursday - 2:18 PM] MAX: Could you get some drinks?? You don’t have to

[Thursday - 2:18 PM] MAX: I promise you can say no

[Thursday - 2:23 PM] Me: Yeah, I could get some from my cousin.

[Thursday - 2:23 PM] Me: But I'm not in Greenville right now. I went back home this morning

[Thursday - 2:31 PM] MAX: Nooo okay that’s fine

[Thursday - 2:31 PM] MAX: Thank you tho

[Thursday - 11:24 PM] MAX: Are u done wit finals

[Friday - 5:37 PM] MAX: Hey

[Friday - 7:49 PM] Me: Hey, you know what I’m mad at you

[Friday - 7:49 PM] Me: For putting me on to Malcolm Todd

[Friday - 8:19 PM] MAX: What?? Why

[Friday - 8:24 PM] Me: because now im over here replaying his songs

[Friday - 8:28 PM] MAX: Oh I did tell you he was a good artist

[Friday - 8:29 PM] MAX: I wouldn’t lie

[Friday - 8:30 PM] MAX: But what have you been up to besides listening to music

[Friday - 8:42 PM] Me: been messing with this laser cutter for a minute trying not to burn the house down
( In this message I did send a picture of me with a laser printer my computer open)

[Friday - 8:42 PM] Me: I need more music recommendations while I work though

[Friday - 8:57 PM] MAX: Oh dang well I don’t know

[Friday - 8:57 PM] MAX: I didn’t even think you’d like Malcom

[Friday - 9:05 PM] Me: yea nah cause “i wanna share an apartment, a room, and a bed” been stuck in my head all day

[Friday - 9:07 PM] Me: whats your favorite song by him

[Friday - 9:33 PM] MAX: Idk I like them all

[Friday - 9:33 PM] MAX: Dang who got you in your feels

[Friday - 10:28 PM] Me: the laser cutter fumes lol

[Friday - 10:30 PM] Me: but what kinda trouble you been getting into

[Friday - 10:56 PM] MAX: Nothing everyone left campus so I just been hanging around

[Friday - 11:02 PM] Me: So you’re bored

[Friday - 11:07 PM] MAX: Yea jus a little

 

[Lucky hunt]

Wow. Dude.

So, you want to be the guy she's bored with?

Jeez.

At the very least: "You're bored? Come over here."

Extra credit for "We can dance around to some Prince jams." Double extra credit for "Wear your best underwear."

yea thats good idea. I believe if I'm correct, that was the night that we cuddled, but she kept stopping me from going any further, like she was putting up barriers. I was trying to rub her chest, but she kept moving my hands away. When we were cuddling, but I do like that.

 

[OldGuy]

When she is on the phone, you should not interrupt. Just wave to her unless she gets off the phone. Inviting you over for drinks in pretty much inviting you over for sex, with deniability.