Stopping your girl from from bad behaviours?

DoWhatWorks

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
198
My long-term main is an overall great well-rounded girl but she occasionally smokes weed in party environments.

I'm not the controlling type & she can do what she wants but coming from a place where I have her best interests at heart

>>> How would you "stop" a girl from doing this?


This isn't something that comes naturally for me as girls I date normally follow my lead in things they do by me either talking about experiences I've had with other girls and how I acted or me giving / withdrawing attention.

She's influenced by me already E.g. she started working out more when she saw how I was taking it seriously (she was never over-weight), then she got into fragrances literally straight after I did before most recently cooking for me a lot more often as I encouraged he behaviour and said I liked it.

I can get girls to start behaviours quite easily but never had to help end bad behaviours

Thanks in advance everyone :)
 

PalmaSailor

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Nov 24, 2019
Messages
104
Location
London
Well you’ve asked, so I’ll say don’t try to stop her doing it.

Its a fundamental incompatiblity. It’s not like game where you’re trying to keep a girl you like attracted, it’s a totally different scenario.

if you don’t like the behaviour, then relegate her or dump her.

Get a woman whose behaviour you do like.
 

DoWhatWorks

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
198
Well you’ve asked, so I’ll say don’t try to stop her doing it.

Its a fundamental incompatiblity. It’s not like game where you’re trying to keep a girl you like attracted, it’s a totally different scenario.

if you don’t like the behaviour, then relegate her or dump her.

Get a woman whose behaviour you do like.

I haven’t asked - seeking advice on the best way to approach it especially as it’s after the fact.

Assuming she carried on I agree with all the other points.
 

Will_V

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
193
My long-term main is an overall great well-rounded girl but she occasionally smokes weed in party environments.

I'm not the controlling type & she can do what she wants but coming from a place where I have her best interests at heart

>>> How would you "stop" a girl from doing this?

This isn't something that comes naturally for me as girls I date normally follow my lead in things they do by me either talking about experiences I've had with other girls and how I acted or me giving / withdrawing attention.

She's influenced by me already E.g. she started working out more when she saw how I was taking it seriously (she was never over-weight), then she got into fragrances literally straight after I did before most recently cooking for me a lot more often as I encouraged he behaviour and said I liked it.

I can get girls to start behaviours quite easily but never had to help end bad behaviours

Thanks in advance everyone :)

What did you try? You said you got her to start good behaviors by encouraging them, have you tried discouraging her from weed? Tell her you don't like the smell, find some discouraging facts or anecdotes about its effects, describe negative stereotypes of weed smokers and ask her if she wants people to see her that way etc.

It's not necessary for it to be even 100% true, it's your frame and she'll have to consider what it means to reject it.

Haven't tried this personally, but it might be worth a shot: https://www.girlschase.com/content/fixing-your-womans-bad-behavior-sex
 

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
459
My long-term main is an overall great well-rounded girl but she occasionally smokes weed in party environments.

I'm not the controlling type & she can do what she wants but coming from a place where I have her best interests at heart

>>> How would you "stop" a girl from doing this?

This isn't something that comes naturally for me as girls I date normally follow my lead in things they do by me either talking about experiences I've had with other girls and how I acted or me giving / withdrawing attention.

She's influenced by me already E.g. she started working out more when she saw how I was taking it seriously (she was never over-weight), then she got into fragrances literally straight after I did before most recently cooking for me a lot more often as I encouraged he behaviour and said I liked it.

I can get girls to start behaviours quite easily but never had to help end bad behaviours

Thanks in advance everyone :)
Firstly, you gotta find out if this is a major thing for her that means a lot. I know from experience that things like working out, making healthy food, getting new styles seem easier to change. But try to make me quit drinking alcohol at parties? Wont work, Ill either break up or smoke when youre not around. My girl dont like that I sometimes take some drugs a couple of times a year, but she has to accept it.

You can try to tell her about the negatives of smoking weed and see how she reacts to that.

One question @DoWhatWorks , when you say that she smokes occasionally, whats the deal then?
Isnt weed less "dangerous" than alcohol? Or do you have something strong against it?

Of course if you feel like this is a deal breaker then this needs to be attended fast. Altho, I dont believe in "changing" peoples behaviour.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
3,990
@DoWhatWorks,

I'd look for incidental ways to express your disapproval of it. e.g.,

  • If you catch a whiff of it: "Hey can you try and spritz some perfume on when you come back? You can do what you like but I really don't like weed and would prefer not to smell it"

  • If she comes over stoned: "Hey, I know you're just having fun, but if you're stoned, can you just meet me the next day? It really makes me think less of you, and I don't like feeling that way about you"

Just let her see you do not approve of marijuana.

If she's a good girlfriend, she will realize she is engaged in something her mate does not approve of, and either ask you for your thoughts directly or start looking to dial it down proactively.

Or if she's too hooked to the weed, she may just start to dislike you instead... which is also a good sign it's better to see sooner rather than later.

Other alternative: "Hey babe, I know you like weed, and that's no problem, that's your thing. But I've got this guy I'm mentoring and he's got things he's trying to do in life but he keeps smoking and I can tell it's dragging him down. I can't really relate to it so I'm not sure what to tell him to get it through to him the negative effects weed has on someone's prospects and abilities. You've been around these types of folks, I'm sure you've seen it. Can you tell me what I'd say to him to help him kick this habit?"

Have her craft the argument for why he should give it up. She's going to have to craft an argument convincing to herself for not being on weed. In so doing, she may just convince herself.

Chase
 

Mr STIF

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Messages
146
I remember when I started to smoke weed I had this innocent girlfriend of mine(i took her virginity) who also wanted to try it.

I'll let her take two drags and she'll be calm for long amount of hours(stoned). She saw me drink alcohol but hasnt ever shown any interest. She was always following my lead. I stopped smoking around her because she was a 19year old and I knew the habit will rub off on her even after we broke up.
 

Fuck This

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 24, 2015
Messages
1,748
Downgrade her to an FB.

Recreational drug use is an LTR dealbreaker for me.

Set your standards and stick to them.
 
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