Hey
@Arnav, IMHO you should first tackle basic convo skills then the man-to-woman...
I’m looking for a simple conceptual understanding that a beginner can apply in short conversations.
I would say that this simple rule of thumb can serve you as a guide:
Emotion over Information.
And TBH it is my mantra and I believe this is an extremely powerful lesson for men that need it, like me at the time... So, always look for emotions not information.
Generalising (maybe too much):
Being right vs
Being fun /
Ask vs
Guess /
Making sense vs.
Making jokes / Being logical vs Being absurd /
Think vs
Act /
Monotonous vs
Expressive / "
Me frame" vs "
Us frame", etc I got more of those mental shortcuts if you want...
Very simple example:
-
Information: I traveled to X, nice place and the hotel was quite comfortable, would totally recommend.
-
Emotion: I
can't deal with routine, it
drives me mad... Last month I needed an
impromptu mini quest, so I went to this
wild X place to meet random
people looking for adventure. Beach, people having fun and bottomless mimosas (*or whatever)... What about you?
-
Information: I think Jane had a point when confronting Dave, but Dave said X which makes me think that maybe Jane hasn't considered Y.
-
Emotion: I
can't believe that Dave is such a X... What
was he thinking of? So
funny seeing Jane walking up to him, it was like a
Final Boss fight... I should have
started asking for bets.
Don't tell me that you are on Dave's side! (*or whatever)
Code:
Note: I was about to end the post there bc that's solid and enough advice IMHO for you. But, I slept 4 hs and running on too much caffeine, so here I go...
Here are some little tools (
all of these need
calibration which comes w/practice)... IMO it's all a stupid and fun game, you want to
have a good time, and don't forget to smile -sincerely-, she will be watching your face at first:
Two notes first:
- beware of monkey jumping, these are just tools, you are not there to entertain anyone
- I repeat: these are just some tools for socializing w/her (not focusing on compliance, polarization, man-to-woman, dhv, reaching sexual hook, physical escalation, planting seeds, logistics, fundamentals, opener, qualification, creating mystery, blah blah blah)
- ok 3 notes: Do all IRL, do not become a KJ
So (always ofc considering posture, voice, eyes, etc):
- Role play:
- (this is from MM... IIRC) 'you are cute, let's marry, but I'll keep the dog after the divorce"
- (if talking about dreams) 'Ok I'll do it, I'll build my Casino... I'll let you prepare the cocktails.' (cocky & funny, from David D)
- Us vs The World mentality
- 'this place is boring, let's steal that car and start a new life in Mexico'
- Neg (AS IN: you don't fear poking at her, she's just a human to you... this is *NOT* about making her feel bad):
- Her: "I love coffee"
- You: "Oh ok, I was thinking: I need what she’s on… but maybe a little less"
- Cocky & Funny ("funny" = at least "i know i'm being a jerk")
- Her: "I love playing X" (pool, chess, whatever)
- You: "Ok, you call me when looking to be defeated... I was trained by The Shaolin" (being true or false = irrelevant).
- Teasing misinterpretation:
- Her: "I love coffee"
- You: "Hey! Don't invite me yet... I need deep connection first" (you are the prize)
- Playful mininterpretation:
- Her: It's so hot in here
- You: Ok ok, I'll take one step back (*ok maybe something more witty)
- Push & Pull:
- I would love to you, too bad we aren't compatible
Also you can always mess w/her or make fun in a playful way, and do lil challenges/competitions/mini games... This has been very useful to me (and fun)... It shows you both are at least at the same level, you have fun and disarm the 'bitch shield' at the same time.
(not a native speaker btw)
BTW every answer has
sub-threads, you can't ran out of them...
- Find threads always through the emotion filter (not information):
- She: I work at a bank
- You: Ah yes money, you went straight to the source of all happiness... Aside from that what was your dream as a kid?(*note the sarcasms, I don't know if you are autistic or smth lol)
So from there you can find threads "
Oh I love/hate that" / "
I did a similar thing" / "
I was total opposite" ...
give opinions,
ask for opinions... this is
NOT a debate nor interview
Other silly questions: "what would you be if you were a vegetable/place/pokemon" / "you press a button: 10 years younger or 1 mill in the bank?" / "would you rather..." / "fuck, marry, kill..." etc
I must add: don't wait for the perfect timing, be random (but not too adhd) and unapologetic (also again, calibration: if you are already getting sexual obviously don't talk about pokemon -or maybe try it idk lol-)
Have a shortcut mental list of fun topics (
relationships, tattoos, dreams, adventures, the paranormal, art...) and I can't stress this enough:
do not debate... you can (and possibly should) disagree and give a couple of opinions but that's it, at least in my book
But I digress... I wrote lots of pages for myself w/tools, models, tactics, etc; from years of trial and error, if you want to I can drop here a few more (and be corrected by the pros when that's the case). Also, I suggest you actually think of better examples than mine, it's a good exercise. You can also try light playful shit tests with her, be the one having high standards.
Keep it up anon you seem a chill dude.
I would add that: if sexual innuendos are too much for you -I don't know how chill are you w/this topic- you can try just by talking about sex, it shows it's normal for you (also, check this article by Chase).
And remember if she starts talking 'randomly' about sex, that's a good sign don't let it pass.
