Sudden Expressive Interrupt for Boring Conversation

[Chase]

You know how sometimes you're talking to a girl, and you get onto a boring topic, and she's talking but there's no life in it?

But it would be socially inept to randomly switch topics, but there's also not a good topic you can smoothly thread-cut to?

Assuming you have an idea of a juicier topic you can switch gears to, here is a simple way to do that:

You inject a lot of expressive life into the interaction and then change the subject.


Example Sudden Expressive Interrupt

Her: What you do?​

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You: I'm a writer.​

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Her: Ooh, a writer! What do you write? [here she is interested]​

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You: Some leadership stuff. Some personal development. Also fiction. The fiction's the fun stuff. The non-fiction's what pays the bills.​

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You: Oh, I see. I thought you were a writer for a company. [she is just making small talk to make small talk now; she is getting bored]​

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You: Yeah, no, I do my own writing... [you know you need to switch topics]​

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You: [emphatic gesticulation, "let's change topics" voice tone] So, ANYWAY!​

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You: You said you work in public affairs. But that it's "just a job." Just puts food on the table?​

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Her: Yeah, it's just a job.​

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You: [big smile, looking her dead in the eyes] All right! [pause] So, I'm curious. Let me ask you this: you leave public affairs. You can work any kind of job you want. You get paid the same pay or even better. WHAT do you do???​

The sudden expressive interrupt there is the "So, ANYWAY!"

You are not just "saying the words" though.

Your nonverbal expression should be conveying that you are slightly frustrated with the boring conversation, want to cut it off, and also have something else you are much more interested to know.

This "interested thing" can be anything, but it's easiest to do it with "something you are curious" about her.


What This Does

The big thing is the delivery.

You are conveying, "Hey I'm bored with this topic. I want to talk about this other topic, which interests me more!"

If the topic you're bored with is also one that is boring her, and the topic you switch to is also one that is of interest to her, she starts feeling like you're really in-sync.

You inject life into a conversation that was getting a bit dull, switch to a more interesting topic, and show her you're both vibing.

All very helpful stuff, and will keep your conversations on the right track.

Just do not forget: the primary thing here is the delivery, not the actual words (actual words can be "So, anyway", "Switching speeds", "Changing topics", etc. The words are interruptive, but the delivery must ALSO be interruptive, and expressive!).

Chase

 

[Will_V]

Good post! I use this sometimes. I like to suddenly lean forward toward her and say something expressive even if it doesn't really have a point. The vibe is "what are we even talking about while you're here?"

It's also good for when you have forgotten to start escalating at home lol, and you realize the vibe is fizzling out.

 

[Skills]

yeah i do that, but anyway, (i usually say but anyways).... so i put a "but"


chase slight nitpick...cause i know is not the point of the post just sample...

but why answer logically, i usually steer the convo to fun, dhv and framing.... vs having a convo that it goes that way..... (the only time i get into crappy convos. is the break up stuff, but makes them vulnerable)...

her: What do you do?

me: couple of things, I am a lender, i am a capoeira instructor you know what that is (and i explain i do a bit of demostration cause is fun and intersting) but i a, also self help coach teach guys how to dress, workout and be attractive in the way they behave but my real profession is cindy future lover, please don't tell her?(same stupid predicatable reaction) What are you a teacher or nurse (in my area these the highest women professions)

 

[Skills]

Good post! I use this sometimes. I like to suddenly lean forward toward her and say something expressive even if it doesn't really have a point. The vibe is "what are we even talking about while you're here?"

It's also good for when you have forgotten to start escalating at home lol, and you realize the vibe is fizzling out.

yeah will this ^ too, i do that like this:

her: blah blah blah boring
you; blah blah blah answer
her; doubling down in blah blah blah boring shit

you: sexually escalate throwing her off.....

 

[Will_V]

yeah will this ^ too, i do that like this:

her: blah blah blah boring
you; blah blah blah answer
her; doubling down in blah blah blah boring shit

you: sexually escalate throwing her off.....

Yeah, it's fun when she's rattling on and then her wires get crossed as she feels the vibe start to shift. Sometimes she'll just trail off and look down submissively.

It doesn't work too well if she's too much in her head or the vibe is not sexual at all, then it becomes too much of a state shift to handle and she'll get defensive.

 

[Skills]

Yeah, it's fun when she's rattling on and then her wires get crossed as she feels the vibe start to shift. Sometimes she'll just trail off and look down submissively.

It doesn't work too well if she's too much in her head or the vibe is not sexual at all, then it becomes too much of a state shift to handle and she'll get defensive.

correct! you nitpick is totally right, has to be a sexual vibe implicit!

 

[James Cruse]

Owen Cook (from RSD) had a technique almost exactly like this he promoted more than a decade ago that he saw being used by popular frat guys at parties to completely overwhelm anyone or change the subject or just take control of the room.

The Energy Blowout/Energy Reframe:

The girl he was with would say something very unseductive or boring - then he'd say ANYTHING in a slow positive playful booming voice slowly to overwhelm the energy of the woman and the room like,

"Heeeeeeyyyyyy" and really stretch it out.
Do it again if it doesn't work the first time.

Whatever was being said usually gets forgotten due to the overwhelming pattern interrupt that people would completely forget what they were saying so you can move on to another topic.

 

[Chase]

but why answer logically, i usually steer the convo to fun, dhv and framing.... vs having a convo that it goes that way..... (the only time i get into crappy convos. is the break up stuff, but makes them vulnerable)...

Yeah I agree.

Sometimes your head is up your ass though or you are off your game or whatever and start giving dumb, boring answers... then you catch yourself and go, "Ah what am I doing!"

So then you get back onto the fun stuff...

 

[Chase]

Owen Cook (from RSD) had a technique almost exactly like this he promoted more than a decade ago that he saw being used by popular frat guys at parties to completely overwhelm anyone or change the subject or just take control of the room.

The Energy Blowout/Energy Reframe:

The girl he was with would say something very unseductive or boring - then he'd say ANYTHING in a slow positive playful booming voice slowly to overwhelm the energy of the woman and the room like,

"Heeeeeeyyyyyy" and really stretch it out.
Do it again if it doesn't work the first time.

Whatever was being said usually gets forgotten due to the overwhelming pattern interrupt that people would completely forget what they were saying so you can move on to another topic.

This can for sure work in a more chill scenario: party, bar, date.

I've seen a few guys do this over the years.

The note I'd have is there needs to be a clear "we're all here to have fun" vibe to pull this 'playful booming slow voice' technique off.

You don't want to do it with a girl you just cold approached on the street or at a coffee shop (vibe is not right for that there).

-C

 

[James Cruse]

The note I'd have is there needs to be a clear "we're all here to have fun" vibe to pull this 'playful booming slow voice' technique off.

You don't want to do it with a girl you just cold approached on the street or at a coffee shop (vibe is not right for that there).

Yeah exactly right - this technique is only for parties, events, clubs and bars - it's certainly unsuitable for anything daygame related or even a more subdued social circle would be unsuitable for this technique.