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- Oct 9, 2012
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I realized a long time ago that women are more responsive & enthusiastic when you leave in a way that makes things feel 'unfinished'.
e.g., she's clearly enjoying the conversation with you, having a great time, and then you tell her, "Well, I've gotta go, but let's reconnect!"
She looks stunned ("He's leaving?") blurts out an "Okay" or "Yeah, for sure", and then you are off with a smile and a wink... and she's super receptive over messages and eager to meet up whenever.
Some ways I added this to my game was to leave in a 'romantic-feeling' way, so she feels there's a budding romance between us, but unfulfilled; or the ol' 'leave her on a high note' technique, where she's right in the middle of the fun & connection then suddenly you are gone.
www.girlschase.com
In psychology, there's something called the Zeigarnik effect, which states that people better recall interrupted or unfinished tasks/events than ones they have completed. Something that feels 'uncompleted' leaves a tension in the mind that the mind keeps going back to.
Or in other words:
The effect was identified by a Soviet psychologist after a colleague of his noticed that waiters could easily remember unpaid orders but struggled more to recall the orders that were already paid and fulfilled.
The Zeigarnik effect has a sister effect called the Ovsiankina effect that finds that people are eager to resume tasks they left incomplete. i.e., if her conversation with you was left unfinished, she wants to get back to it and finish that unfinished business.
The caveat is there's a 2025 meta-study that found the Zeigarnik effect is not universal; i.e., it's not "any old task is remembered better when incomplete vs. complete." The study authors suggest that the effect may be dependent on "situational influences and individual differences, such as the experimenter’s authority, situational demands of task performance, and task involvement."
If you think about a waiter's orders, the waiter is under a lot of pressure to get the order right, until he's finished with it. Then he can forget about it. That pressure causes him to keep returning to the order mentally.
I sometimes see guys trying to "exit early" with girls who clearly aren't hooked. It doesn't work and the girl doesn't remember them.
This makes pretty clear why it works sometimes vs. other times:
She has to be at the point where she emotionally wants to see things through or get some kind of satisfaction.
Then, at that point, if you leave things unfinished, the Zeigarnik effect kicks in and she obsesses over you when you're not there.
So cautionary note to beginners: this does not apply if she's not sufficiently curious about you and where things might go with you first.
However, if she's intrigued by you, if she's curious about you, if she's attracted to you, and you suddenly make your exit in a way that feels unfinished to her, she is going to remember you well and want to resume her 'unfinished business' with you.
How Do You Use the Zeigarnik Effect?
The way you use this is to
The real art is in creating the intrigue + avoiding things ever feeling 'finished'.
There are a number of existing techniques in seduction for this; i.e., setting open loops.
Anyway, again, I'll throw a note in here for beginners that the Zeigarnik effect does not mean you should "intrigue girls then run away."
If guys are just using this as an excuse to eject because they're scared to push things forward, it likely won't work because they probably won't create enough intrigue or investment before they bail.
Likewise, if you're using this as an excuse to bail early, you will miss a lot of girls you could've closed just by hanging in there and finding a way to escalate.
www.girlschase.com
However:
If you have a girl you're talking to, and you've managed to intrigue her and get her invested, however the logistics aren't there and you don't have the time or ability to progress things with her now, or you're talking to her over text and you want to ensure you get her out on a date without her losing interest first, the Zeigarnik effect is what you want.
Get her intrigued enough, give her the feeling that there's something good here, then leave things in an interrupted-feeling, unfinished way, so she'll be thinking about you later and eager to resume with you when the time is right and you reappear.
Chase
e.g., she's clearly enjoying the conversation with you, having a great time, and then you tell her, "Well, I've gotta go, but let's reconnect!"
She looks stunned ("He's leaving?") blurts out an "Okay" or "Yeah, for sure", and then you are off with a smile and a wink... and she's super receptive over messages and eager to meet up whenever.
Some ways I added this to my game was to leave in a 'romantic-feeling' way, so she feels there's a budding romance between us, but unfulfilled; or the ol' 'leave her on a high note' technique, where she's right in the middle of the fun & connection then suddenly you are gone.
Leaving on a High Note: The Art of Great Last Impressions
A great last impression makes women eager to see you again. It’s the ultimate flake reduction strategy. Turn far more of your approaches into dates & lays! Everyone knows about the importance of first impressions. Well, everyone knows it in theory. I see all these videos men are posting of...
www.girlschase.com
In psychology, there's something called the Zeigarnik effect, which states that people better recall interrupted or unfinished tasks/events than ones they have completed. Something that feels 'uncompleted' leaves a tension in the mind that the mind keeps going back to.
Or in other words:
- If something is interrupted while you're in the middle of it, your mind continues to return to it, think about it, and wonder about it, because you have unfinished business with it.
- If, on the other hand, you reach a feeling of 'completeness', your mind puts a bow on it, says, "We've done all we have to do there!" and then you promptly forget all about it.
The effect was identified by a Soviet psychologist after a colleague of his noticed that waiters could easily remember unpaid orders but struggled more to recall the orders that were already paid and fulfilled.
The Zeigarnik effect has a sister effect called the Ovsiankina effect that finds that people are eager to resume tasks they left incomplete. i.e., if her conversation with you was left unfinished, she wants to get back to it and finish that unfinished business.
The caveat is there's a 2025 meta-study that found the Zeigarnik effect is not universal; i.e., it's not "any old task is remembered better when incomplete vs. complete." The study authors suggest that the effect may be dependent on "situational influences and individual differences, such as the experimenter’s authority, situational demands of task performance, and task involvement."
If you think about a waiter's orders, the waiter is under a lot of pressure to get the order right, until he's finished with it. Then he can forget about it. That pressure causes him to keep returning to the order mentally.
I sometimes see guys trying to "exit early" with girls who clearly aren't hooked. It doesn't work and the girl doesn't remember them.
This makes pretty clear why it works sometimes vs. other times:
- When she's hooked, attracted, invested, and feeling like this might lead somewhere, if you exit in a way that leaves things feeling "unfinished", she keeps coming back to it, wondering about it, thinking about you, and grows more invested in the outcome.
- When she's not hooked, attracted, invested, or feeling like it might lead somewhere, she doesn't care even if you exit in an "unfinished" way, because there was never anything she strongly cared about 'finishing' in the first place.
She has to be at the point where she emotionally wants to see things through or get some kind of satisfaction.
Then, at that point, if you leave things unfinished, the Zeigarnik effect kicks in and she obsesses over you when you're not there.
So cautionary note to beginners: this does not apply if she's not sufficiently curious about you and where things might go with you first.
However, if she's intrigued by you, if she's curious about you, if she's attracted to you, and you suddenly make your exit in a way that feels unfinished to her, she is going to remember you well and want to resume her 'unfinished business' with you.
How Do You Use the Zeigarnik Effect?
The way you use this is to
- First, get her hooked, intrigued, and invested in getting to know you.
- Then, exit the interaction with her, on a high note or in a romantic way (i.e., leave her wanting more).
- Either re-approach her or message her later. She should be happy to hear from you.
- Continue to leave things feeling 'intriguing but unfinished' with her until she fully complies (isolates, comes out onto a date, comes home with you and goes to bed).
The real art is in creating the intrigue + avoiding things ever feeling 'finished'.
There are a number of existing techniques in seduction for this; i.e., setting open loops.
Anyway, again, I'll throw a note in here for beginners that the Zeigarnik effect does not mean you should "intrigue girls then run away."
If guys are just using this as an excuse to eject because they're scared to push things forward, it likely won't work because they probably won't create enough intrigue or investment before they bail.
Likewise, if you're using this as an excuse to bail early, you will miss a lot of girls you could've closed just by hanging in there and finding a way to escalate.
When It's Going Well with a Girl, Keep Spending Time with Her
Many guys bail on girls it’s going well with… only to never see those girls again. Want to get those girls, not lose them? Keep spending time with them! I see guys do this a lot: They have a girl they’ve met, or they’re on a date, and it’s going really well, and then at some point the guys end...
www.girlschase.com
However:
If you have a girl you're talking to, and you've managed to intrigue her and get her invested, however the logistics aren't there and you don't have the time or ability to progress things with her now, or you're talking to her over text and you want to ensure you get her out on a date without her losing interest first, the Zeigarnik effect is what you want.
Get her intrigued enough, give her the feeling that there's something good here, then leave things in an interrupted-feeling, unfinished way, so she'll be thinking about you later and eager to resume with you when the time is right and you reappear.
Chase
