This thing of ours

[samuraijack]

Its Wednesday night..i go out solo again to work on approaching.

I walk around for an hour and didn't do a single approach yet. I decide to go into a boba shop. It's pretty busy.

While i'm waiting a girl comes in and waits near me. We make eye contact and she looks away. There was a perfect moment to speak to her then but I don't. Instead I wait 5 more minutes and say

Me: "they are pretty backed up...Ive been here for 10 minutes and havent ordered"
Her: Oh really, wow.

Obviously I could say more but I don't because my wing walks in and I say hi to him then order. I don't continue talking to her anymore.

We go to the park. We don't approach any 2 sets but he does 1-2 solo sets.

We then follow a 2 set out of the park. They spot us walking behind them, in a empty dark street....which is obviously not good. I wait a bit until I am further ahead of them, and when I am about to say something, she says theres blood on the floor to her friend. I say "oh shit" and pretend to almost trip. This gets their attention and I ask them if they know any good bars around the area. The conversation is very platonic and one of the girls never even turns her head to talk, she keeps looking straight and walking like shes on a mission. We walk and talk for 5 more minutes and then leave the set.

We walk by barcade (a bar / arcade) and he spots a 2 set inside. Again I have to fight my brain when he ask me if i want to go in. I say "what the hell". In my previous LR, i also remember saying "what the hell" before approaching a set and that turned out into a lay. My reference experience is building.He walks straight to the girls and we stand behind them. He opens one, and I wait a bit and go in to open her friend.

Opener:

Me: Is there more to this place or is this just it? Someone told me there was that game, with the ball you roll...you know what I mean?
Her:No this is it...Yeah I know that game. Uhm....what is it called again?? Bowling? No... I can't remember

We chat about some BS...Since she is from north carolina originally (lives here now) I tease her about being a trump supporter, how racially diverse it is there (sarcasm), and how shes not use to being around asian people. Then she tells me she has an asian best friend and I correctly guess hes gay (I've noticed white girls with a bestfriend thats asian is 90% of the time a gay dude).

When her friends moved out of the seat i took the opportunity to sit next to her
I do some light touching while joking around and looking at her tattoos. I take the opportunity to grab her arm to inspect the tats.
I hold good eye contact throughout the conversation
Earlier in the night at the park some gay dudes approached me very creepily and I used this to relate

Me: You know..early tonight some gay dudes approached me and they were very creepy about it. I realized thats how girls must feel when guys approach them most of the time...
Her: Yeah that happens to me all the time...

Me: You seem to be the more rationale and level headed of the group...
Her: Yeah..i am
Me: Your like the mom then....
Her: yeah...but im tired of being the mom
Me: yeah..you probably sometimes just want to let go of that responsibility right?
Her: Yeah...totally

I seed that I just moved to new apartment with a new rooftop that has 360 views of the city
She mentions she doesn't do casual sex anymore...I try to pace:

Me: Yeah me neither...when I want to sleep with someone, its someone I can see myself seeing again...
Her: Yeah....
Me: And its not that I don't like sex...but I only want to have good sex....
Me: And for good sex there needs to be a connection you know?
Her: Yeah I agree...

There's probably better frames I couldve set here...maybe talk about how important sex is in a relationship, etc...

I also did not project a higher sexual state as time went on...it was probably at a constant 3/10....

She looks at her friends and she tells me they probably want to leave soon to go to another bar...and she number closes me. I could've told her we can meet later, but i try to do this through text later. They leave and me and my wing go back on the streets.

Screenshots of text messages:

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Image Whats-App-Image-2021-06-10-at-3-44-00-AM hosted in ImgBB

ibb.co

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Image Whats-App-Image-2021-06-10-at-3-44-00-AM-1 hosted in ImgBB

ibb.co

Whats-App-Image-2021-06-10-at-3-44-00-AM-2 hosted at ImgBB

Image Whats-App-Image-2021-06-10-at-3-44-00-AM-2 hosted in ImgBB

ibb.co

Any advice? Would be appreciated on how I couldve isolated and pulled. Wing tried to tell them to go to our rooftop but the 3rd and always least attractive girl says no.

Im going to text her tomorrow and see if I can set up a date. Looking forward to overcoming the casual sex objection.

Me and my wing walk past a mixed set group 3 girls and 1 guy. I overhear them talking about the bar the previous set was going to go to "clockwork" and I say "did you just say clockwork?". Group opens up and at least 2 girls are receptive. We chat for a bit then leave them, to go walk to the bar. Then we end up close in front of them...i turn back and say "Are you guys following us?....you weirdos". They say yes and laugh. Theres one girl who I think gave me the "eyes" but we reach a corner and she dips out. Looking back I couldve definitely talk to her more and pulled.

I start chatting with this other girl but I needed more time alone with her. She was immersed for a bit when we talk about her growing up in Chinatown and I relate to when my parents worked there and i visited, and how everything must be different now. But we meet up with more of their friends and her attention is gone. I think she also has a thing with one of the guys we met up with. Me and my wing leave after spending a few more minutes.

I used to say i love game because nights like this....you never know where youll end up. its so fun.

 

[samuraijack]

Went on a date with the girl from yesterday....make out, finger, stroking my cock but no close.... Any advice?

I meet with her at 9pm. We go to a bar close by. After one drink at that bar, I purposefully go to another bar thats closed so that I can say "oh lets just grab some drinks and go to my rooftop". She complies.

On rooftop conversation touches on traveling, being non judgemental, submissive/dominance, briefly go into how most guys are bad in bed and don't know about different kind of orgasms

my sexual projection is much stronger now, and I am touching a lot more. I feel like my sexual key was on point, and I was definitely emotionally stimulating....

When I say its cold and lets go chill downstairs at my place, she says "if i go down there I know Im probably going to do stuff and I dont want to tonight"...I make out with her more, and grab her hair, and say "we dont have to do anything you dont want to, its just super cold here". She says ok lets go.

In my room we makeout more, I get resistance from fingering her, but after pulling back and pushing forward, I get her buttons off and I can finger her.But every step of the way is like a battle. She keeps telling me she wants to but just not now. I say ok, and just keep making out and retry escalating. Eventually i get her stroking my cock, but then she stops and says I dont want to do anymore. I say ok and kind of just give up at this point...im thinking I can close another day. She ask to borrow one of my jackets cause its cold and I give her one, then we makeout hard and she leaves.

I 100% believe with some verbal judo during the date I couldve bypassed this LMR. I just dont know what I couldve said. Maybe some anti slut shaming or how important sexual chemistry is in a relationship. I dont know..need tips

 

[samuraijack]

I had a fun night, not very effective but some good reference experiences...

I go out with roommate to do street game...we split up. I do one approach to this girl I saw a few times walking around the area. We made eye contact a few times before. So i thought I would open with "hey...it seems i keep running into you..." In a very dismissive "yeah probably". I tried continuing the conversation but she keeps walking and I leave.

I go back to the park and my wing is in set. He pulls after a few minutes.

I bump into 2 more wings, they go open a 2 set, and I decide to go home to freshen up and eat something...

As I wait for the elevator, 2 girls are behind me and I pick up a package. I debate on what to say when the elevator opens and there is a group of 6 white girls and 1 asian dude. I walk in and they ask me if Im going to the rooftop, I say no. And press my floor.

One girl compliments my tattoos and I say thanks, and they invite me to go to the rooftop later.

I walk into my apartment and its my roommate with the girl he pulled. (he told me she gave him a period objection). Now i'm up on the rooftop and start chatting with the girls and this guy. I'm mainly talking to the girl who invited me, the one who lives in the building. I go into how to gives off a hippie vibe, and that she must be very spiritual. Shes wearing a lot of crystals. And i was right.

I start talking with some of her other friends. One is an actress and I'm doing a lot of teasing with her. I do find out that lots of them have boyfriends though, but they are all visiting from nearby city.

I end up following them to a bar, and I invite some wings. Its been so long since I went dancing and it was fun.

I haven't done night game too much, and its been a long time. So besides doing low effort situational openers, I didn't feel comfortable going direct. The music was loud and the environment was very hard to actually talk. This called for dance floor game which I lack.

My roommate shows up with the girl he pulled. Shes a stripper and bi. I invite my ex who is also bi. I introduce her to everyone. She makes out with my roommates girl, but doesn't like any of the girls from the rooftop.

I introduce her to a few girls I opened earlier in the night, but nothing clicks. I'm here trying to make a threesome happen but my dance floor game is lacking and most of these girls are straight. Its a very basic college white girl scene. She opens a few girls, but they all think shes just being friendly cause they are straight. She does try to get one girl for me by simply asking if she was attracted, but i told her it doesn't work like that.

Outside the bar we talk to the strippers friends. I start to mini isolate one of the girls and dive deeper now that we can actually talk. I basically touch on the topics I always talk about...traveling ->new cultures -> open sexuality -> sub/dom -> non judgemental etc... I do very light touching because her friends are there, but I feel like I could've done more. There was one moment her friends left for a bit to get pizza and that was probably the moment to escalate and then try and pull. Well i dont capitalize and just grab her instagram. I also forget to set plans to meet up before we say bye.

Me, my ex, my roomate, and stripper girl go back to our apartment. My ex gets mad cause I dont want to fuck her (lol). I'm just not horny, and Id rather fuck new girls. We all just chill and then go to sleep. My roomie tries again till 5 AM to fuck but still period objection.

Texted my neighbor thanking her for the invite and saying it was fun. She says they will be up on the roof again tonight. Not sure how i feel about trying to escalate on someone who lives in my building.

 

[Lofty]

Went on a date with the girl from yesterday....make out, finger, stroking my cock but no close.... Any advice?

I meet with her at 9pm. We go to a bar close by. After one drink at that bar, I purposefully go to another bar thats closed so that I can say "oh lets just grab some drinks and go to my rooftop". She complies.

On rooftop conversation touches on traveling, being non judgemental, submissive/dominance, briefly go into how most guys are bad in bed and don't know about different kind of orgasms

my sexual projection is much stronger now, and I am touching a lot more. I feel like my sexual key was on point, and I was definitely emotionally stimulating....

When I say its cold and lets go chill downstairs at my place, she says "if i go down there I know Im probably going to do stuff and I dont want to tonight"...I make out with her more, and grab her hair, and say "we dont have to do anything you dont want to, its just super cold here". She says ok lets go.

In my room we makeout more, I get resistance from fingering her, but after pulling back and pushing forward, I get her buttons off and I can finger her.But every step of the way is like a battle. She keeps telling me she wants to but just not now. I say ok, and just keep making out and retry escalating. Eventually i get her stroking my cock, but then she stops and says I dont want to do anymore. I say ok and kind of just give up at this point...im thinking I can close another day. She ask to borrow one of my jackets cause its cold and I give her one, then we makeout hard and she leaves.

I 100% believe with some verbal judo during the date I couldve bypassed this LMR. I just dont know what I couldve said. Maybe some anti slut shaming or how important sexual chemistry is in a relationship. I dont know..need tips

Hey @samuraijack,

It's clear that you're a good seducer. Good stuff and I'm excited to read about your adventures here.

A few notes that may be of use:

• I know you were using some sex talk - awesome. Now when it comes to the escalation in your room, here's where it can help to keep going with it and turn that sexual tension up to 11. As @Glow says, you want to arouse and tempt to the point where she can't take it anymore - perhaps even to the point where she is uncontrollably escalating on you (I've noticed that some girls still may need you to move it forward in the end, but they'll be ready to go). Fundamental things to harness in these moments also include deep eye contact, sensual and calm voice/cadence, and sexual projection. For the cherry-on-top, work in a refined understanding of female fantasies that will allow you to cater your sex talk to her. And alongside all of this, more sexual prizing.
• Once escalating, I've found it extremely helpful to continue the sex talk while taking the escalation very slow as arousal continues to climb. Lots of soft, sensual kisses around her body and little whispers into her ear. Rich and vivid reality-pacing of what you're doing to her in that specific moment. Keep and keep talking to her hypnotically (key point in the video is his verbals, not the girls) as you sexually prize all the way through penetration.
• Another strategy to combat LMR is fractionation. There are lots of forms of fractionation, and you already did one by pulling back and pushing forward. An alternate fashion is to escalate a little before completely dropping back to do something else, like listening to music. And then more sex talk, prizing, etc. Then a little more escalation. Then do something else. Rinse, repeat until she's ready to go.
• An additional SOT and gambit that could be run effectively here is that of sexual purity. Basically more sexually prizing about how sex and desire is as natural as the air that we breathe, and as we would never withhold ourselves from breathing air, then why would we ever withhold ourselves from what we feel deep inside? Related points include the blissful indulgence of finally allowing yourself to do something that you want to do for once, as she is so selfless all of the time, and that she completely deserves the waves of pleasure that she will receive with your full attention on her satisfaction because your favorite part about sex is pleasuring the woman.

Alright, those were my quick thoughts. And to develop verbal game further, I think a great place to start is with these authors:

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

Articles by Author: Daniel Adebayo | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

Articles by Author: Allen Reyes | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

I've personally learned a lot from all these resources, so hopefully they might help you as well!

 

[samuraijack]

Hey @samuraijack,

It's clear that you're a good seducer. Good stuff and I'm excited to read about your adventures here.

A few notes that may be of use:

• I know you were using some sex talk - awesome. Now when it comes to the escalation in your room, here's where it can help to keep going with it and turn that sexual tension up to 11. As @Glow says, you want to arouse and tempt to the point where she can't take it anymore - perhaps even to the point where she is uncontrollably escalating on you (I've noticed that some girls still may need you to move it forward in the end, but they'll be ready to go). Fundamental things to harness in these moments also include deep eye contact, sensual and calm voice/cadence, and sexual projection. For the cherry-on-top, work in a refined understanding of female fantasies that will allow you to cater your sex talk to her. And alongside all of this, more sexual prizing.
• Once escalating, I've found it extremely helpful to continue the sex talk while taking the escalation very slow as arousal continues to climb. Lots of soft, sensual kisses around her body and little whispers into her ear. Rich and vivid reality-pacing of what you're doing to her in that specific moment. Keep and keep talking to her hypnotically (key point in the video is his verbals, not the girls) as you sexually prize all the way through penetration.
• Another strategy to combat LMR is fractionation. There are lots of forms of fractionation, and you already did one by pulling back and pushing forward. An alternate fashion is to escalate a little before completely dropping back to do something else, like listening to music. And then more sex talk, prizing, etc. Then a little more escalation. Then do something else. Rinse, repeat until she's ready to go.
• An additional SOT and gambit that could be run effectively here is that of sexual purity. Basically more sexually prizing about how sex and desire is as natural as the air that we breathe, and as we would never withhold ourselves from breathing air, then why would we ever withhold ourselves from what we feel deep inside? Related points include the blissful indulgence of finally allowing yourself to do something that you want to do for once, as she is so selfless all of the time, and that she completely deserves the waves of pleasure that she will receive with your full attention on her satisfaction because your favorite part about sex is pleasuring the woman.

Alright, those were my quick thoughts. And to develop verbal game further, I think a great place to start is with these authors:

Articles by Author: Alek Rolstad | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

Articles by Author: Daniel Adebayo | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

Articles by Author: Allen Reyes | Girls Chase

www.girlschase.com

I've personally learned a lot from all these resources, so hopefully they might help you as well!

Yup, i realized once i started escalating i was all physical and i stopped talking. Also I didnt arouse and tempt to the point where she couldnt hold back any longer. All the things we were doing was just releasing tension, not building it. Thanks!

 

[samuraijack]

July 9th Friday

Out at rooftop vende again. Ex rsd instructors Todd V and Jeffy are also here with clients.

Noticeable set lasted around an hour and a half.

I opened a 3 set with "did you all coordinate your outfits tonight". It didn't really make sense but they were wearing black. It opened well as all 3 were engaged and contributing to the conversation. My wing was kinda in the way of my target so i moved sides to be closer (almost touching her) to her.

I immediately started being physical, with my hands on her shoulder, arms, then around her back. The other 2 girls were also getting along well with my wings.

At one point we were all making out with our girls at the same time. Each one of us seeded the pull, but they had a girl and gay guy friend who was also there. Girls went to bathroom, we waited outside, but eventually all the work we put in was nullified by the passage of time and friends. The friends pulled the girls away and we never saw them again.

One thing I thought we could've done was use another excuse to pull instead of saying to come chill on our rooftop. Maybe pizza after party lol.

A few more 2 sets, and a single set that didn't go anywhere. I thought the single set was giving me AI because I was alone on the corner with my phone and she was just standing there for a long time. I got off my phone and went after her but couldn't get her to stop. I went pretty direct with this one.

 

[samuraijack]

July 10th Saturday

At the same venue as last night...we used familiarity and name dropping to cut the line and get in through reservations line (we didn't have any). I think next week well just wait in the normal line cause we've been taking advantage of this a lot lately and don't want to burn the relationship. We did also bring in 2 girls who wanted to cut in with us. They were meh, but good for some momentum before entering the venue.

Todd & Jeffy are also here again with students. We chat a bit.

A really tall black guy starts talking shit to Todd's student, saying how he should stop talking to girls (he's a salty chode) and Todd stands straight in front of him and uses his alpha de-escalation skills. It was pretty close to a fight.

Girl with friend talking to guy: Opened with curiosity "Hey, has anyone told you who you look a lot like?". Made her chase a bit, and pinky promise that she won't be offended. I make a few assumptions and joke around with them. Later in interaction she called out that I made a lot of assumptions about her. I'm teasing her from where she's from (she's a blonde white girl from the south). I remember putting my arm around her lower back a few times, but never held it there long. A guy comes by and sits nearby us. He's a friend of the guy who's talking to my target's friend. I just ignore him. His friend tries to bring him into my set by saying "Hey, you've met _____ right? isn't he a cool guy?". She says "yeah". I just ignore all of this and keep talking to her. He doesn't come in set. Eventually my wing comes by and we merge with a group of girls behind us. I lose my focus on her and just chat with the group. This goes nowhere because im not focused on anyone.

Two blondies: My wing spots a 2 set and I go open them asking if they were enjoying the view (they were staring at the skyline). Opens well. I do some teasing on her accent. Not much physicality in this set except for a few shoulder touches. There wasn't really a reason to leave this set, but I wasn't going in for the kill, neither was my wing, so we decide to say bye and go around hunting.

I can't remember anything else, probably another group set we did.

Todd told my wing (who took a bootcamp from him 2 years ago) that he see's him in a lot of good sets, but nothing ever pans out. This was very true for me as well.

Lesson: If I'm going to talk to a girl or group of girls for 30+ minutes, that's committing, and might as well go in for the kill (more physicality, talking slower closer to her ear, building tension). I've been playing it safe and I should play to win. Otherwise that time could've been used to approach.

 

[samuraijack]

July 16th Friday...

Out with a bunch of wings, met up with @Kvothe

We bounced around to different venues but the lines were crazy everywhere.

Ended up going to a cave like bar that was downstairs.

Approached a two set sitting at the bar. Opened from the left of the girl. I use the "hey, I have a question..." "Do you know who you look a lot like". She's receptive and starts trying to Google the person I said. I tease a lot...I think I might be going overboard with it. But I also don't want to be boring so I need more verbals in that regard. She never really turns her body to face me, except once and she turned back to her friend. The rest of the time I'm talking to the side of her head. I leave the set.

Dont think I did anymore sets in there, and we all go hit the streets.

Im solo now and I spot a purple hair girl. She goes into the deli and I follow. I buy a water and open her from behind her in the line. She's buying Apple Jacks and goldfish cookies. I tease her on her choices. She's responding fairly well, but She's going across the street to get tacos. If I had a killer instinct I would've followed. I continue walking down the street.

I spot another set. She's way taller than me and wearing her hair in buns and bell bottom jeans. I pass her, and go back to open. I open with the same "I have a question...do you know who you look a lot like" and I try to bait her more by saying she might be ofended if she hates the celeb I mention. Forgot to do my pinky promise thing here where I go "ok ill tell you but promise you won't get offended"
I'm walking and talking and then she slows down so I come to a complete stop. I'm escalating more now right in the middle of the street. My hands are on her waist, touching her chest. I think I fucked up when I dont go for the makeout or escalate harder because after a while she says she has to go. She walks 10 feet away and I repente her and get her to stop again. But alas she says she has to go. I'm pretty sure I could've pulled if I built more tension and gave her an excuse to go to my rooftop. I did ask her to rate her night from 1-10 and then ask her why She's ending it so early. At one point I also had my hands around her face, I was very close, my brain had thoughts of "she's going to pull back if I try". But that's stupid cause I'm playing it safe again, might as well go for it, the end result is the same.

Another street set earlier was a pink hair girl. I open her again with the same "do you know who you look like". It hits and she stops. She starts asking me questions about myself. Its weird because on one hand She's staying but on the other hand her vibe seems a bit defensive. We chat more but I didn't feel comfortable getting closer and escalating. One point she said if I'm trying to push her in the sidewalk, which was weird cause I wasn't even moving towards her.

3 set in LES street. 2 asians 1 mexican girl. 1 asian is fanning herself with a traditional Asian style fan. I walk up and open with "I need to borrow that". She starts fanning me. Mexican girl has a bf. Other friend is cute. I had bad positioning because my target was in front of me but her ugly friend was closer to me. I needed to stand closer to my target and have more sexual projection. I was keeping them engaged and fun, but I wasn't leading the seduction forward. Eventually they left to find a venue to go to.

Gotta strike while the Iron is hot.

 

[samuraijack]

I didn't go out this Saturday, my body was wrecked since I've had trouble sleeping for a few weeks. Before my roommate (whos also my wing) left, I joked saying if he pulls a girl home for me I'd pay him some money.

It's like 4 am, and I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I open it and it's a naked chick and my roommate goes here ya go. She's a little shocked but says it's kinda hot. My roommate just got done fucking her.. Bring her inside and close after 5 minutes of talking. I guess it counts

 

[Beam]

It's like 4 am, and I hear a knock on my bedroom door. I open it and it's a naked chick and my roommate goes here ya go. She's a little shocked but says it's kinda hot. Bring her inside and close after 5 minutes of talking. I guess it counts

WTF that is one of the craziest things I have ever heard and you say it so nonchalantly

 

[samuraijack]

WTF that is one of the craziest things I have ever heard and you say it so nonchalantly

Edited post. Forgot to say he closed her then passed her to me. Happens a lot in our PuA circle here in nyc

 

[samuraijack]

For those with high AA, this might help. I just had a realization.

Recently I have been playing games with wings. 10 minute timer, who ever doesnt approach, has to buy dinner. Then 5 minutes. Then 3.

Or venmo $500 to my wing. Every 10 minutes without an approach, my wing keeps $100.

Today I played these games and did 9 approaches. The 2 days I played these games, I only failed once to do an approach, when the timer was for 1 minute.

Whereas, normally if they pointed a girl out and told me to approach, I wouldn't do it. If you called me a wuss for not approaching, I still wouldn't do it. When I'm alone, I can walk around for hours and not approach.

I was thinking...why does potentially buying wings dinner or losing $500 motivate me to approach, but looking at a hot girl walk by does not?

What do they all have in common? It is the focus on not losing. If i don't approach I have to buy dinner? I don't want to lose that game, so I approach.

If i don't approach and my friend keeps $100, I don't want to lose that money to him, so I approach.

If a hot girl walks by, I don't want to lose (bad reaction) so I don't approach.

Instead of focusing on what I can win (sex, adventure, etc...)

Girl says she likes my tattoo, I say thanks...and walk away (only when im very present, do I catch this reaction, and stay to chat). It's automatic, ingrained into my subconscious. I won something (validation) now I don't want to lose.

The question is, how do I switch my mind to focus on winning?

I think it is by doing whatever it takes to get me into set (like playing these games), and gaining more positive references so overtime I focus on what good things can happen. By positive experiences I mean just enough so my brain counts it as a "win".

The thing is I have plenty of good experiences after approaching. But its so inconsistent that the days with low to no approaches, basically reverts all the progress. Days spent not approaching = good job keep doing that, you're not losing (bad reactions).

If going out solo, I guess I can still use this hack if I venmo money to a wing, time myself, and be honest.

I don't think affirmations or any inner game at home work will help in this because it is an almost automatic reaction in field.

Open to anyones thoughts on this

 

[samuraijack]

Continuing with the theme of focusing on one thing at a time, like Gunwitch says.

My current goal is just to approach, and let all my past experience and "creative mechanism" (Pyscho-Cybernetics) take over.

Today I did 7 approaches. Yesterday was 10. The day before was 9 i think. It's been more daily approaches than I have done any days this year. I'll keep doing this until I no longer need the emotional leverage of losing $ to my wings to approach. I have been using mostly indirect, will challenge myself to go direct more because i feel uncomfortable with it.

 

[samuraijack]

On my 6th or so approach, I ended spending the entire night with this girl, but no close

I open with something about her being familiar, seeing her at a party. It's relevant because its the 1st week back in school, lots of new students who went to welcome week parties.

Then when she says no, I just go "oh, someone just looked just like you, its probably the mask". I ask her if she goes to the school nearby but she says a different one. Details after are hazy but she says she was on the way home but shes not really in a rush. Probably thrown in some cold reads here and there. She says we can walk around, and I say ok and say to get some boba.

We walk around and sit at a park but mosquitoes are eating me alive. We bounce to another bench. I suggest we get tacos cause shes hungry. I try to pull to my rooftop to eat the tacos, but she says she prefers to go somewhere else. So we eat on steps at an adjacent building from mine.

She has to go to bathroom so i suggest my place. Shes hesitant, so i try to add some comfort by telling her its cool, I can just let you in and you can use it. Even though we just end up going in my apartment normally.

Basically what ends up happening is I do some touching here and there, but i don't go for makeout until really late. By this time it is like 2 AM. We first met at like 7pm. Many times she would say "ok we can do this...then I have to go"...repeat 5x, which i knew she didnt really want to go.

She gives me an objection when i try to kiss. She says something about making good decisions, and her being 17. Yes its legal in NYC. (im 32 but told her im 22 lol). There was a point in the convo where she said "Do you really think im not too young?" She also mentioned she only had sex with 2 guys and like kissed 10 or something. I was like perfect opportunity for me to reframe. But then my roommate walks in. We chat and eventually she leaves. I walk her down, give her a hug, and seed a future date as a last ditch effort.

I honeslty dropped the ball on this one hard. Partly because its been a while since I had a instadate and wasn't mentally prepared. Partly because she was super hot when she took her mask off around the initial approach. This combined with how high energy she was at certain times, led to me to lose focus too much and not pay attention to where along the seduction process I was.

I 100% believe all her objections and frames could have been overcome with verbals, combined with properly timed physical escalation I could of had this close.

Unfortunate but I do not want to dwell. I came out to work on AA, and this experience counts as a win because its a substantial "positive" story of approaching my brain has. Getting Instagrams / phone numbers and having conversations on the street is nice, but pulling a girl to sex location is really king of positive reinforcement of approaching (besides closing).

 

[tearsofjoy]

Hey man, just wanted to say I've been keeping along with your journal and it's really inspirational stuff. I'm still a beginner so can't provide any advice but it's cool to see how far you've progressed. I'm trying to incorporate some of Gunwitch's stuff slowly since I have his SMMA course. I see you've already started doing that.

 

[samuraijack]

Today, i knocked out 10 approaches pretty quickly, plus 2 more bonuses. That's an improvement.

Goal for tomorrow is to do all 10 on my timer, then do 5 more without it.

 

[samuraijack]

AHHHHH dumb mistakes cost me a potential close just now. But lets start with the good.

Did my AA exercise today, and approached all 10 girls. Then i approached 3-4 more without the timer.

Instagram closed 1 from a 2 set i did by myself.

Last set of the night, i see her tiny petite body strolling down the street.

I open indirect, i think something about knowing her from somewhere and I transition to how shes different than the girl i thought she was.

She was tipsy + high. Buying temp was pretty high. I took her to get some boba (1st mistake). But i didnt stay long, just like 10 minutes.

We start walking and I'm escalating physically more.

We reach her street where she lives. I tell her that I actually enjoy her company. I start physically escalating here the most. Arms around her waist...holding her hand. I don't make out (not sure if this is the right or wrong move....but probably wrong).

I invite her to spend more time by smoking weed on my rooftop. She says shell love to, but she just wants to shower. And she admits also she hasnt shaved in a long time. She says "shell text me" (haha yeah right).

I try to overcome that by saying I enjoy her company, dont really care about that stuff.

Biggest mistake is..... I don't try to pull to her place.

FACEPALM

I couldve used bathroom excuse, or just watching tv, or any BS.

Now i have my dick in my hand, with a useless number.

But hey, I learn my lessons...keep the positive things I did today in mind.

edit: 1 more good thing just happened. A hot girl my wing opened (3 set) that i was in, ended up Instagram closing me and DM'd me just now. She also did not follow my wing back. He did all the work i barely spoke to her lol hes mad

 

[samuraijack]

Did my 10 approaches today without fail. Also did a few more on my own.

Again had a few early approaches where the girl would stop (or was already stopped) and turn completely to me. Early approaches I eject, but i notice as the day goes on, I stay in set longer.

Had an instant date with a nerdy asian girl. I wasn't attracted to her, but I knew going on an instant date would drive my momentum up higher than just ejecting so I stayed for a bit. Didn't try for much, just instagram closed.

90% of PUAs are time wasters. I know this because I was the biggest one of them. Now that I am taking more action, i notice lots of them still skip sets with decent to hot looking girls because of their own rationalizations.

 

[samuraijack]

Still doing my AA exercise. Skipped 2 today, did 8 approaches. More so because I was not keeping awareness of my challenge then anxiety. Wings around can be a bit of a distraction....but they kind of need to be there for the challenge to work. I did get my 1st approach out of the way quicker.

2 noticeable sets.

1st girl was stationary outside a school building. I open with "Are you here waiting for your Tinder date as well?". She laughs and says no. We banter back and forth a bit, I tease about her being white (ah the super power us minorities have). I normally would have ejected but i said fuck it and just kept talking even though I was not showing any intent. Eventually her friends came and she said nice chatting and left.

2nd girl was walking around campus with a suitcase looking thing. I open her over my shoulder, pretend that I might know her from somewhere, and slow down my walk to a crawl. She stops and starts thinking and asking me my name. I tell her she probably has a twin, and start talking about how her personality seems different. Within like 5 minutes she ask for my Instagram. I hit a few topics like what she does for fun, her background (russian). This interaction was pretty long, maybe like 15 minutes on the sidewalk. I didn't go for instadate cause she said she was dropping off her heavy suitcase and then meeting a friend. I told her we should grab a drink sometime and got her number since I dont use instagram much.

There was only 1 girl i passed on that I actually felt bad about. Well i feel bad skipping sets, but this one, made my heart sink cause there was just something about her.

 

[samuraijack]

Friday

3 approaches during the day. My wing who i was doing the exercise with went on an instant date on his first approach, so it made my challenge even harder to stick to. Plus the street volume was not as good as previous days. But i did 3 solo which is nice.

One was a tourist here for fashion week. Very easy to open since she was dressed uniquely and I just said "that is a very interesting outfit you have...." and let her explain herself from there. She was waiting for an uber. I eventually ejected . Didn't go for contact close.

Then i went to watch Shang Chi movie with wing. After it was about 1 AM so we hit the streets for nightgame. I went to do one approach but because the streets were dim and I wanted to make a smooth approach, i ended up overthinking and not approaching at all. Stupid cause going in rocky is better than not going in at all.