Train your action muscle

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
963
When you are in field, it is important to be quick on your trigger. One second and the girl you had locked your sights on is gone. Hesitation is something we must work to remove in ourselves. When i'm out and in the headspace to approach i will tell myself "Today Phoenix you must make it a point to approach a girl when you see her as soon as possible". Sometimes it may be wise to wait a few seconds (like not running into traffic when she's on the opposite side of the street light). In strength training there is a thing called "explosive strength/power".

Explosive strength is the ability to exert maximal force in minimal time
I see many times in here how guys hesitate in one way or another. While we all commit the sin of hesitating more or less, i have noticed it as a problem with some guys on here. It goes something like "She looked like she was in a bad mood" or "she didn't stop when i did *weak open*" or "she looked like she was in a rush" etc etc. You gotta cut that shit out man! like a cancer in your flesh. CUT IT OUT. I can't count how many times girls have told me "You know, when you came up to me i was actually in a really bad mood, but you made the rest of my day" or "That was so cool of you, but i'm in such a rush, take my number, i gotta go!". Sometimes when you approach a girl and she doesn't stop fully or you don't get her full attention just be like "Wowee, hey! One second!" Alot of the times she was as much in her head as you and it didn't register. No harm in going in again. She can't mistake it a second time...

So how do you stop doing it? It is simple. You do it in the moment. So when you are in the field and the voices in your head starts coming up and you are about to approach that girl, but the hesitation builds, STOP YOURSELF. Right there. Just go "fuck that noise" and then GO. It's a bad habit to be gotten over and a new habit of always being quick on your trigger. Trust me, after a few of these bold quick action moves you will feel fucking amazing and you will also be quicker and more witty and better at improvising while in set. The voice in your head will diminish and instead your intuition and reflexes will build and make you better at going with the flow and not being in your head. Seduction is a game of action and reaction. I say that the perfect seduction is when you always know the perfect thing to say or do next. That your next move will be successful. But an action or reaction also needs to be quick. It needs to be built into your body, so you don't have to suddenly think of the next thing to say or do, your intuition will just instantly give you something that pops to your mind, and then you EXECUTE.

Hesitation is a bad habit. Cut it out! If you hesitate, you will masturbate. That's the message of this post.
Below are some examples of earlier posts i have made in the forum. One of them is from @Devilicious' journal. He has been very kind to let me include them in this post.:

Devilicious:
Girl 3:
See her staring at me from where she's coming. Some positioning/timing from my part to catch her when she crosses the street. She's from Vienna but originally USA, starting to study here. She's ask me questions back quickly without properly answering mine, I think I need to give her more time to answer.

Seeded a close after some hesitation with the usual "you seem like an interesting person" and she soft rejects by quickly going "we'll see each other around" again. Oh well, I'm glad I tried.

Girl 4:
Really beautiful brunette. I time my transition from standing into walking and without looking at her again. We draw closer, she's slightly ahead of me.
"Wow, heyy," I say, and she turns more to me as we make eye contact. I want to try out a variation of what I've been doing.
I pause for a moment, before breaking out in a smile.
"Wow, you look EXACTLY... like someone I know!" I say, as if I had just mistaken her for someone else.

"Ohh," she smiles and giggles, then turns back and slowly continues after a moment.

*Facepalm*

Two things here. It's so casual it's too casual, because it's framed with a degree of finality when you put it like that.
Second, the way I said it with a more animated interested voice is not helpful. If I had spoken slowly, there would still be pacing her into my reality and have good potential transition into further stimulating conversation.

So I learned it's better to have an intrigue bait in there.

Girl 5:
Gorgeouuus blondie in the underground train station. She doesn't stop and just mirrors my "Hii" when continuing. I realized I was saying it very warmly and disarmingly, but am starting to feel that I need to do it more assertively and dominantly. Increases sexiness, too.
My response:
Girl 3, 4 and 5 you have to be more assertive. Tell them "Wowow, wait, stop". I know you do the indirect influence style of thing, but look at it this way. You may lose the "battle" by persisting on her a second time in an assertive way, when you don't catch her the first time and make her stop. You might lose a few points or not (you won't if the girl literally was clueless about you the first time, which is most likely imo) but you will lose the girl entirely if you simply let her go at that (lose the entire war). Bold action my friend.

In this thread:
we all skip sets especially if we are not in the right state of mind, i.e. focusing on something else or not warmed up. the way i view it is like a muscle to be trained. "enter into action with boldness". i might even run really fast and really get in front of her like "HI!" a few times to really get warmed up. making sure to approach as soon as you notice her. so you train that rapid reaction in yourself. if you avoid something it will be easy to avoid it again. so make sure you kill that negative momentum and make it go your way, so that the more you do it the easier it will be to do it next time.
 

Starboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 2, 2018
Messages
485
Girls being in a bad mood,but happy you approached them is pretty encouraging to hear. I can be deterred from approaching sometimes especially if a potential approach feels more intimidating than usual. I'm really bad at frontal stops in the sidewalk. I don't try too many cuz I anticipate i'll get blownout and auto rejected immediately. I usually approach girls from the side and walk with them if they're moving.

If you do slip and hesitate and a girl walks by you in the direction you came from how do u approach her? Jog up,stop and tell her you noticed her walk by, thought she was cute/adorable and wanted to say hi?
 

Winston

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 4, 2021
Messages
145
The problem I encounter with approaching without hesitation is the opener.
Sometimes I need to think 30 seconds or even 1 minute, after seeing the girl, before coming with a situational opener. And I also try to have a few follow up in case the first reaction of the girl doesn't give much to work with, which happens often.
How do you reconcile crafting openers with no hesitation?
 

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
963
@Starboy you gotta push yourself. betterment comes from facing resistance and overcoming it. we like to stick with what is nice. for an example i was hesitant to approach in the high volume shopping pedestrian street areas. then i figured out a way to do it somewhat discreetly (open from the side instead of doing a front stop) and boom now i can do it. and yes if a girl walks past the sooner you turn your heel and run after her, the better.

@Winston having a default opener you can fall back on. IME the more spontaneous you can make your situational opener sound the better. consider this.
 

MUGENYI

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
16
Hey @Phoenix that hit me far.

This is the best advice I have found so far for AA.

Thanks for that and I won't fail myself this time.

Big up man all the way to the top.
 

Skjöldr

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
963
@MUGENYI awesome man, AA sucks ass. I still get it sometimes i.e. in situations i'm unfamiliar with. Thing with getting to intermediate level is that you beat most of your approach anxiety, but when you started approaching you started in the most comfortable approaches, so we like to stay there. We get results yknow, but we don't push ourselves beyond it. Why make it hard to approach a girl in this situation when i can just approach in this comfortable situation i'm used to? We forget how we felt when we started. I sometimes meditate on it how i couldn't even fathom approaching a girl at first, it was unreal in my head! So if we conquered that feeling before, we can do it again! In order for me to make daygame/nightgame fun and exciting and bring me in a good mood i need to play around with it. Push my boundaries, try new things etc.
 
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