Calls & Texts  What’s the best frame I can use?

Gaturro

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 25, 2021
Messages
81
I added my personal 10 on instagram like a year ago, we talked a bit, then I asked her out and she said she was going out with someone. I said oh ok I respect that and ended it there.

2 weeks ago I saw her at a party. She and 2 friends came with the photographer and sat on my table to take a picture of them. I went next to the photographer and started telling them how to pose, they laughed, it was funny lol

After the photo they just left outside to take some air, and after a few minutes so did I with a guy I met there. We started talking to the 3 girls.

The girl realized it was me who talked to her a year ago (I didn’t remember until she mentioned it lol) after that I sat down closer to her and we started chatting. She knows a friend of mine so I mentioned we would host a party and they said they will come. I added the 3 girls on instagram, but I vibed the most with my girl.

One of these girls was her step-sister, we talked a bit, she said she didn’t drink, only liked wine and I told her my family is from San Juan and we have the best wine there. I don’t think “my girl” was listening.

Then we went back to the dancefloor and I kept talking to my girl, I remembered what she texted so (I think here I fucked up) I asked her if she was still dating the dude and she said yes, I said that not every guy has everything a girl wants but I respect that, and she said that she knows not every guy has it so she’s happy with what she has. Goals lol, I liked what she said so much that I don’t even know what happened after that. I think I said I respect that but I don’t even remember.

The other one was a friend of her step-sister, later that night I sat down next to her and she gave me a bottle of water, I don’t know how it came up but I told her I made the best breakfast, and she grabbed my phone, added her number and texted me we should grab breakfast one day.

The 3 of them added me on instagram’s close friends and I only answered the other 2 girls texts (because my personal 10 didn’t text me). I wasn’t flirty at all, just banter and kept it short. The girl who has my number was really interested but I just kept it short.

We met the following week at the Christmas party, the three of them were really nice, the girl who added me on her phone noticed me and said heyyyy come with us. I talked a little bit to the three of them but a bit more with the last girl (I had another objective so I just talked to them a bit. I invited them to the after party though but they couldn’t).

For the new year’s I just said happy new year to my personal 10. I answered her close friends story, it was like:

me (1:30 am): happy new year xxx
(4 am)
her: happy new year gaturrooo
her: have a good time
(7 am)
me: if we go out this year of course yes
(11 am)
her: hahaha
her: like partying?

Now it’s 17 pm. What would you answer?

I thought “if it’s only partying then we’ll miss the best part” or something like that. Otherwise, how can I frame it so I don’t seem uncalibrated?
 

Wick

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
1,083

"What’s the best frame I can use?"​

A new one inside your head, that you should move on from this girl.

THAT is the best thing you can do, even for the goal of trying to get this girl.

It's unattractive to beat around the bush and chase an unavailable girl. Makes it seems like you don't have options.

She's unavaliable and she knows you know it. The thing that you should do, which would be to invite her out for a date, is not really an option. So set it down and move on.

Later, if and when your personal 10's available, you'll be already enjoying time with another girl, and/or did not spoil the interaction with P10. Then you can invite P10 out and do your thing.

BAM. Leave her on read. For now.
 

Gaturro

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 25, 2021
Messages
81

"What’s the best frame I can use?"​

A new one inside your head, that you should move on from this girl.

THAT is the best thing you can do, even for the goal of trying to get this girl.

It's unattractive to beat around the bush and chase an unavailable girl. Makes it seems like you don't have options.

She's unavaliable and she knows you know it. The thing that you should do, which would be to invite her out for a date, is not really an option. So set it down and move on.

Later, if and when your personal 10's available, you'll be already enjoying time with another girl, and/or did not spoil the interaction with P10. Then you can invite P10 out and do your thing.

BAM. Leave her on read. For now.
Wow, that’s a great answer!! I never even considered leaving her on read haha

And yes, I didn’t do anything with the other 2 girls not to spoil my interaction with P10, even if they gave me escalation windows for more.

What you answered makes sense, a lot, but I just have a few questions:

How can I know if and when she’s available? Pinging her a few months later? Meeting her by chance at a party and testing the waters there?

I’m sorry man, I see a personal 10 and something inside me wants to try everything lol

@fog said in the chat I could just answer “yes” and leave her on read after that, don’t you think that would be more calibrated? otherwise she might think I’m butthurt at her answer and that’s why I left her on read lol

Thanks for your answer
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
I added my personal 10 on instagram like a year ago, we talked a bit, then I asked her out and she said she was going out with someone. I said oh ok I respect that and ended it there.

2 weeks ago I saw her at a party. She and 2 friends came with the photographer and sat on my table to take a picture of them. I went next to the photographer and started telling them how to pose, they laughed, it was funny lol

After the photo they just left outside to take some air, and after a few minutes so did I with a guy I met there. We started talking to the 3 girls.

The girl realized it was me who talked to her a year ago (I didn’t remember until she mentioned it lol) after that I sat down closer to her and we started chatting. She knows a friend of mine so I mentioned we would host a party and they said they will come. I added the 3 girls on instagram, but I vibed the most with my girl.

One of these girls was her step-sister, we talked a bit, she said she didn’t drink, only liked wine and I told her my family is from San Juan and we have the best wine there. I don’t think “my girl” was listening.

Then we went back to the dancefloor and I kept talking to my girl, I remembered what she texted so (I think here I fucked up) I asked her if she was still dating the dude and she said yes, I said that not every guy has everything a girl wants but I respect that, and she said that she knows not every guy has it so she’s happy with what she has. Goals lol, I liked what she said so much that I don’t even know what happened after that. I think I said I respect that but I don’t even remember.

The other one was a friend of her step-sister, later that night I sat down next to her and she gave me a bottle of water, I don’t know how it came up but I told her I made the best breakfast, and she grabbed my phone, added her number and texted me we should grab breakfast one day.

The 3 of them added me on instagram’s close friends and I only answered the other 2 girls texts (because my personal 10 didn’t text me). I wasn’t flirty at all, just banter and kept it short. The girl who has my number was really interested but I just kept it short.

We met the following week at the Christmas party, the three of them were really nice, the girl who added me on her phone noticed me and said heyyyy come with us. I talked a little bit to the three of them but a bit more with the last girl (I had another objective so I just talked to them a bit. I invited them to the after party though but they couldn’t).

For the new year’s I just said happy new year to my personal 10. I answered her close friends story, it was like:

me (1:30 am): happy new year xxx
(4 am)
her: happy new year gaturrooo
her: have a good time
(7 am)
me: if we go out this year of course yes
(11 am)
her: hahaha
her: like partying?

Now it’s 17 pm. What would you answer?

I thought “if it’s only partying then we’ll miss the best part” or something like that. Otherwise, how can I frame it so I don’t seem uncalibrated?

yes lets celebrate, nothing better than to start a new year with the right company, club xyz or _____ Venue/meet place? if she answers positive then logistics...
 

Gaturro

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 25, 2021
Messages
81
yes lets celebrate, nothing better than to start a new year with the right company, club xyz or _____ Venue/meet place? if she answers positive then logistics...
yessss, i was thinking something like this, it’s closer to my style :)

but there are no venues open today in buenos aires. only mar del plata, punta del este, etc, aka 1 hour by plane..
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
yessss, i was thinking something like this, it’s closer to my style :)

but there are no venues open today in buenos aires. only mar del plata, punta del este, etc, aka 1 hour by plane..
that was a sample to give you how to go about soft closing, be creative, make it easy for her to meet and say yes when venue selection, low pressure for her...
 

Wick

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
1,083
And yes, I didn’t do anything with the other 2 girls not to spoil my interaction with P10, even if they gave me escalation windows for more.
That's not what I meant. I meant not spoiling it by chasing her in unattractive ways and getting into a long text convo going nowhere.

Honestly, it might have done you good to flirt and have fun with those girls. She would have seen that you do in fact have options.
How can I know if and when she’s available? Pinging her a few months later? Meeting her by chance at a party and testing the waters there?
You don't. You need to move on completely. This is oneitis, and it can fuck you up. Treat it like a real illness, you need to heal it. Get her off your mind. The whole point is that there are other girls out there, and this girl is not available. End of story.

If the stars align and you do run into her and she's available, then you're going to be in a better position if you have moved on completely. You'll start out fresh, hopefully with more experience, and less neediness since you conquered the oneitis. Or alternatively, you don't even care because you have a new girl in your life.

@fog said in the chat I could just answer “yes” and leave her on read after that, don’t you think that would be more calibrated? otherwise she might think I’m butthurt at her answer and that’s why I left her on read lol
No, personally I think it's a boring way to end a convo. If you don't reply, it could be because of many reasons, ideally because you're too busy with cool shit. I have a friend that leaves everyone on read, he's legitimately too busy with cool shit.
I’m sorry man, I see a personal 10 and something inside me wants to try everything lol
You can do whatever you want. But often with situations like this, the best action you can take is not chasing after a deadend lead, and instead focus your efforts elsewhere.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
Bro I just saw she has a boyfriend and let you know.... she is not interested

 

Gaturro

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Oct 25, 2021
Messages
81
Bro I just saw she has a boyfriend and let you know.... she is not interested

thanks, really great material, i think i will show this to my 14 year old brother, he’s gaming a girl with a boyfriend too lol (she was going to leave the bf for him but new year’s eve ruined it..) worst time of the year to destroy boyfriends i guess hahaha
 
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