Calls & Texts  what am I doing right and wrong.

Nicko

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Hey guys! :D

ok so I decided to super-charge my text games, by asking everyone's feed back, I need to know what I'm doing right and what Im doing wrong to figure it out. I have three recent phone numbers I got this Saturday and Sunday.

Goal: to develop good text game

I won't be doing this too frequent because thats just spammy lol, maybe once every 2 weeks sounds ok lol

Girl1 : number closed when her friend arrived, her girl friend was chill and didn't say anything to screw up the interaction which was nice. Korean( nice touch) kinda cute.
Me:Hey Hb, I notice something intriguing about u :) 2:43pm
Her: Hmm what is it? 2:56pm
Me: ill tell u soon, when my date finishes. How's urs going? 3:33pm (by 'date' i mean my cold approach session lol, and said I was meeting a friend when we met for social frame)
her: okim mines going good hbu 5:50pm
me: Im good, im consultalting him im betting ur gossiping right now :) 6:24pm
her: bahaha going home now :) 8:45 pm
me: did u actually study all that time? 9:13pm
her: nope nope I was just talking most of the time 10:45pm

the next day

me: haha, what were u guys talking about? consulting as well ;) 12:45pm
( no response )
OK now I look at it now , I left that 'I notice something intriuging about u'' unfished and making it awkward/un-calibrated. what can I say to re-open her?

''Hey I completely forgot my date finished haha :), you wanna hear what made u so intriguing?''

my ideas to make the conversation interesting is to lead her into cold reading or something about her vibe that struck out.

I can try and play on the idea of being intrigued if she responds, '' were u and ur friend related? because I get this strong sense you two are like sisters lol"
Something like that might work

Girl 2: A girl from a train with a pop-culture/ a bit nerdy vibe. wholesome girl girl who's into pop culture reference, mainly memes. Talkative and open. Long conversation on the train ride, opened her before the train came. Looks decent? she said she was in her work clothes and didn't really try to look good( understandable). She showed me a photo of her outfit, with the phone covering her face and I reckon she probably cute if she dresses properly

Fun and loud personality give or take

wasn't comfortable with giving her number out, I persisted twice with social media frame destroyers.

''I have mulitple ex's that stalk people, I don't want to cause trouble for both of us''
stuff like that.

So she convinced me into giving my Discord out to her, which I was pleasantly surprised how much she texts back. Honestly the way she texts matches her personality in person

It was a pain in the ass to type this one up.

Me: hey HB the salad girl, how is the train ride lol
Her:
THE SALAD GIRL LMAOO ( I shit you not thats how she texts)
is that my title now ( * 3x laughing emoji*)
train rid'es not bad still on it
(*2x laughing emoji faces* )

Me: yes salad girl is ur new name :) u gossiping to ur friends?

Her: (Im back lmao I didn't die)
(*2 laughing emoji faces*)

-> responds to my reply ''Yes salad girl is ur new name :) u gosiping to ur friends?''
*spasm of random texts lol* NO ACTUALLY

Me: I have a gut feeling ur lying haha * smily with a tounge out* have u reached ur destination

Her:
*having a seizure of texts lol) IM NOT LYING LMAO nah like been talking bout other stuff( one of my friend's toxic bf like I mentioned before being problematic *2 skull face emoji* )
Yeah i got home a while back been just chilling w my sister
I assume you made it to wherever your were going * sweating smiling emoji face*

Me: Yeah I got back and doing my assignments, so ur giving ur 'best' relationships advices? *winky face* ahah

Her:
LMAOOO yeah look my relationship advice is kinda shit so like
mostly being the hype girl * 2 skull emoji faces+ 2 laughing emoji*
yeah uni assingments are gonna be the death of me (*2 skull laughing emoji+ 2 laughing emoji* )

Me:
Yeah get ur self a hype girl* laughing emoji* ngl u could be probably be a motivational speaker

her:
LMAOO
ironically i did do a bit of public speaking in highschool (* 3x laughing emoji* )

Me:
how did the public speaking went? *laughing emoji *

her:
*2x Laughing emoji*
actually pretty good ngl( 2x laughing emoji) like I think was pretty good at it ( *4x laughing emoji)

Me:
Yeah it shines through over text but I reckon over some coffee/tea would be better *winky face*

Her:
HAHAHAH
okay that was good (* 2 laughing face emoji*)
I literally have no clue when im tho ( 3x crying emoji)

Me:
lol how come

Her:
uni ( 3x crying emoji)
and work
and like literally everything( 4x skull emoji + 2 laughing emoji)
but like if i ever get a chance where im not completely dying ill lyk ( 2x skull+ 2 laughing emoji)

Me:
even when ur completely dying its proven going on a hot date will revive you *winky face*

Her:
(4x laughing emoji)
how are your assignments doing
what sort of stuff you have for commerce

Me:
U got the magical woo woo theory and the practical work, ok what u study again I forgot haha* laughing emoji*

Her:
*3x laughing emoji*
desgin
(specficially majoring in graphic desgin and performance desgin)
yet for some reason they still make us do an architecture subject as a prereq .-.

Ok I went for the soft close, She is green light but don't know her schedule.. ''if im not completely dying ill lyk''. I push again and she brushes it off... It seems like I did something wrong here?? I think I came off too needy

Girl 3: In terms of looks, I would say this one is the one to bank. short Philippine girl, a bit bratty but cute, curly hair with volume. gold necklace which inspected turns out it had a rose engraving which meant her last name. cute isn't it . Her first name is shorten and I mentioned ''we'll leave ur first name for our next date''


This one is interesting, with the switch up where she wanted to call after called be out for chasing a bit hard. I used Gun's girlfriend opener on her

Me: Hey Rose girl, are u third wheeling haha? 2:23pm
Her: Bahaha nah nah we're all like a family 2:23pm
Her:we're just waiting for the fourth additon 2:23pm
Me:Could have been the forth ;) what do u love to do? 2:29pm
her:hmm mainly watch anime and write stories 2:31pm
Her:im a big english nerd 2:31pm
Me: u sound interesting, what do u find stories and english facinating? 2:44pm
Her: idk rly I think its the fact i can interpret it anyway 2:53pm
Me:is it feeling of being able to see it with ur lens? also move or book person? 3:54pm
Her: hmm kinda? I can't rlly describe it...its just a soul/heart type of thing 4:00pm
Her: book, but I do love movies 4:01pm
Her: wbu, book or movie 4:01pm
Me: im more book but moves are nice alternatives for dates ;) 4:42pm
Her:you really want that date from me, huh? 4:45pm
Me: Just making ur little wishes come true haha * smiling tounge out emoji* 5:01pm
Her: its not *my* wish, its urs * eyes looking up emoji* 5:05pm
Her: plus being compared to your ex is a little bit of a red flag~5:05pm


Her: hey, very weird and random but r u down to call or ft tonight? 7:57pm


Me: Hey lets call tmrw night at 6:20pm( today) im exhausted tdy? and what makes u think being compared to my ex is bad* thinking emoji* haha 9:25pm


Her:
ooo 6:20pm~so specific 9:26pm
and because it seems like youre not really over her? 9:26pm
btw, what side of [city] r u from? 9:26pm

me:
haha, lets save this convo for tmrw, is getting late for me 9:39pm

Her:

fine fine 9:40pm
good night : ) 9:40pm * I liked her comment*

I don't know that sudden wanting to call was a strange switch up.. and asking city logistics were kinda weird, im over-thinking that part a bit too much lol
 

Velasco

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OK now I look at it now , I left that 'I notice something intriuging about u'' unfished and making it awkward/un-calibrated.
Leaving an open loop, open does not make I awkward lol. It gives her the opportunity to ask you about it later if shes really interested. If shes not, then you dont need to close it.

Not gonna bother with girl#2.
asking city logistics were kinda weird,
Not weird lol. Shes trying schedule her dick appointment. See how long itd take to get there. And come back to hers in time for school/work whatever.
 

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
5,550
@Nicko,

Have you read my "how to text girls" article?


You're using what I call the 'RIWIG' style. Focused on being funny and witty. And you are! But it's also generally a much less efficient method than simply asking the girl out then texting for logistics.

For easier texting and less flakey women, try this:

  1. Make a really solid first impression
  2. Ask her out when you're with her
  3. Use your texts to set up the date
  4. Be witty with her in person, on your date

Chase
 

Glow

Tribal Elder
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Joined
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Messages
503
For easier texting and less flakey women, try this:

  1. Make a really solid first impression
  2. Ask her out when you're with her
  3. Use your texts to set up the date
  4. Be witty with her in person, on your date

Chase

I agree w. this.
The key is to fix the pull for her towards you before you get into texting
 
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Rakkum

Cro-Magnon Man
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Joined
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Messages
198
@Chase & @Glow

Are there exceptional instance where you would recommend a bit of funny-witty texting?

For example: Quite often my number grabs are really short and I'm suspecting that the lack of investment on her part leads to dead numbers. Today, for example, I was at a department store and picked up vague signals from a girl (glancing, hovering) and approached her after finishing my purchase.. Max 1 minute from hi to me saving her number after having suggested we meet up at later time.

Should I break the rule here and try to get some feel-good fluff going ( Soft-close in @Skill's parlance) before setting up logistics for the date?

Also, Chase, I recall you prescribing trimming down the conversation after opening as a potential solution for low number-to-date ratio. What is the underlying reasoning for that?
 

Chase

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@Rakkum,

Yeah, a little light flirty texting can be okay.

If you ask me, if you feel like you need to do a bunch of flirtatious texting, it's a sign you're not making strong enough first impressions, and/or the first impression was so quick she doesn't really have a feel for you.

You can try to build that feel via clever words written on a screen. But far more effective (if 'lacking connection' is your issue) is either going to be a phone call or video messages.

A lot of guys are afraid of doing phone calls. Guys have always been afraid of doing phone calls, but these days phone calls are also not common, so there's an additional worry of "I'll be doing something weird!" on top of it.

Video messages are a good other alternative if you don't want to do calls.

Also, Chase, I recall you prescribing trimming down the conversation after opening as a potential solution for low number-to-date ratio. What is the underlying reasoning for that?

Long interactions can get buggy for followup in a lot of ways.

e.g., maybe you got a great connection going and she hoped it would go somewhere but then you left. Then she had to backward rationalize in her mind why it didn't go anywhere. The rationalization becomes "I guess I wasn't as into him as I thought." Now she doesn't want to come on a date with you.

That's just one example -- there are others (you had a 10 minute conversation that went great at the beginning, then lost steam. Some guys who try to talk to girls "as long as I can before I take the number" are talking to girls until they run out of things to say, then taking numbers -- so they are taking them after things have started running out of gas, which is not the best memory to leave her with when you close).

Chase
 

Nicko

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Leaving an open loop, open does not make I awkward lol. It gives her the opportunity to ask you about it later if shes really interested. If shes not, then you dont need to close it.

Not gonna bother with girl#2.

Not weird lol. Shes trying schedule her dick appointment. See how long itd take to get there. And come back to hers in time for school/work whatever.
Yeah i see now lol, problem is that she is 1 hour and 30 minutes away(other side of the city)

we had our little phone call(she initiated) and we talked for about 30-50 minutes, i really lost track of time but she was very giggly with my jokes or whatever and did a bit of sexual frame.

I did lost of cold reading. ‘Are pillopine girls like this?’ Re-opening the open loop she left at with ‘the ex girlfriend part’ and small part of non judgemental sexual frames.

But I hinted with a coffee date which she sounded interested so asked what her schedule was and she said ‘im not too sure’

There was a ‘deal breaker’ at the end, 2 questions she asked me if I ‘smoke’ or ‘vape’ ‘drugs’ ect. I obviously said no and flipped the scrip ‘are u profiling me’ she giggles

she a ‘phone person’ which I tried to persuade her out and leave our more interesting conversation for our date in person

How to proceed ? make 1 short phone call and get her invested as much as possible and bring her our for a date near me or in the city then follow up a close date near my place?
 

Rakkum

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
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Messages
198
it's a sign you're not making strong enough first impressions, and/or the first impression was so quick she doesn't really have a feel for you.

I guess it's both to some extent. In one of your articles you recommend treating new people as if they are old friends and in my experience it works with in cold approach too ... if you go in with that vibe, you trigger the corresponding emotions in her too. Maybe you have some suggestions on how to trigger the right emotions in a short span of time?

Long interactions can get buggy for followup in a lot of ways.

By long you mean more than 2-3 minutes (in your style and preferences)?

Yeah, a little light flirty texting can be okay.

I think it's quite necessary when doing online game and perhaps guys are bringing those habits into their other texting as well..

@Nicko Check out Chase's texting manual. It made a significant impact on my texting success.
 

Nicko

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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@Nicko,

Have you read my "how to text girls" article?


You're using what I call the 'RIWIG' style. Focused on being funny and witty. And you are! But it's also generally a much less efficient method than simply asking the girl out then texting for logistics.

For easier texting and less flakey women, try this:

  1. Make a really solid first impression
  2. Ask her out when you're with her
  3. Use your texts to set up the date
  4. Be witty with her in person, on your date

Chase
Hey chase thanks for dropping by! :D

haha I have kinda naturally kinda devaloped that style to soft close girls because hard closing immediately doesn’t work for me

i have read it a few months back but ill check it later when im more free

Correct me if im wrong, do u suggest that once i confirmed the date in person(she is green light) exchanged numbers shoot her an ice breaker and hard close on the date?

Ex. we chit chat in person nice vibe, naturally exchange numbers and set a date too met up( she doesn’t know her schedule( and continued our conversation and leave with a time constraint

ice breaker: ‘’hey HBgirl I notice something intriguing about u :)’’

girl responds ‘’hmmm what is it?’’

[ 24-36 hours later]

immediately close on the idea of the date?

‘’ill tell you in person its much more cozy in a coffee shop, what is ur schedule like ;)’’

I find these don’t quite work for me, It has to be that im screwing up the interaction in person, like setting the date in person and confirming it, if I recall girls typically say

‘’idk when im free or im not so sure’’

In the past i tried closing but haven’t really succeeded if my memory served me right trying to hard close early on.

as a result i follow the skills method of texting with more soft closing, qualifying before hand and getting her a bit more invested for better responses

what are ur guys experience?
 
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Skills

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Yeah i see now lol, problem is that she is 1 hour and 30 minutes away(other side of the city)

we had our little phone call(she initiated) and we talked for about 30-50 minutes, i really lost track of time but she was very giggly with my jokes or whatever and did a bit of sexual frame.

I did lost of cold reading. ‘Are pillopine girls like this?’ Re-opening the open loop she left at with ‘the ex girlfriend part’ and small part of non judgemental sexual frames.

But I hinted with a coffee date which she sounded interested so asked what her schedule was and she said ‘im not too sure’

There was a ‘deal breaker’ at the end, 2 questions she asked me if I ‘smoke’ or ‘vape’ ‘drugs’ ect. I obviously said no and flipped the scrip ‘are u profiling me’ she giggles

she a ‘phone person’ which I tried to persuade her out and leave our more interesting conversation for our date in person

How to proceed ? make 1 short phone call and get her invested as much as possible and bring her our for a date near me or in the city then follow up a close date near my place?
That is not a deal breaker, say no but I don't mind if you do, so they don't feel you are judgmental or better than them... you are doing good cause you have the type of personality were flirty humor can work to your advantage, you can see that they are responding and investing,just try to drop the mr pua stuff and you will be ok, cause the problem with you trying to be mr pua at your stage since is not fully calibrated yet, comes across weird.
 

Skills

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Hey chase thanks for dropping by! :D

haha I have kinda naturally kinda devaloped that style to soft close girls because hard closing immediately doesn’t work for me

i have read it a few months back but ill check it later when im more free

Correct me if im wrong, do u suggest that once i confirmed the date in person(she is green light) exchanged numbers shoot her an ice breaker and hard close on the date?

Ex. we chit chat in person nice vibe, naturally exchange numbers and set a date too met up( she doesn’t know her schedule( and continued our conversation and leave with a time constraint

ice breaker: ‘’hey HBgirl I notice something intriguing about u :)’’

girl responds ‘’hmmm what is it?’’

[ 24-36 hours later]

immediately close on the idea of the date?

‘’ill tell you in person its much more cozy in a coffee shop, what is ur schedule like ;)’’

I find these don’t quite work for me, It has to be that im screwing up the interaction in person, like setting the date in person and confirming it, if I recall girls typically say

‘’idk when im free or im not so sure’’

In the past i tried closing but haven’t really succeeded if my memory served me right trying to hard close early on.

as a result i follow the skills method of texting with more soft closing, qualifying before hand and getting her a bit more invested for better responses

what are ur guys experience?
Please drop the intriguing crap, Nikko normal as possible
 

Nicko

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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That is not a deal breaker, say no but I don't mind if you do, so they don't feel you are judgmental or better than them... you are doing good cause you have the type of personality were flirty humor can work to your advantage, you can see that they are responding and investing,just try to drop the mr pua stuff and you will be ok, cause the problem with you trying to be mr pua at your stage since is not fully calibrated yet, comes across weird.
haha yeah i can’t quite get the sexual stuff down quite yet. I have a more natural ‘fun and flirty’ type personality and instantly getting surreal and sexual comes off as weird and uncalibrated
 

Nicko

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Please drop the intriguing crap, Nikko normal as possible
mmhh, haha im a bit conflicted I have few ice breakers to work with

‘’hey HB, i notice sometime intresting about you’’ Fogs usual response

‘’hey this is Nicko, nice meeting you+continuing the convo topic’’

Skill which I u told me to drop the cringy emojis lol

‘’Hey [call back humor] this is Nicko+continuing convo topic’’


I saw it as her throwing it out, as a plausible deniability reason for him to come over to her place and fuck.
forgot to mention she has an older brother, i don’t know how that will play out, must likely her coming over instead( she is around my age, played it smooth when she asked my age, said i was recently 17 making me bit older just in case if she was way older then expected)

I think shes still a bit flakey cuz she hasn’t honed in her schedule for our date and she said i was insisting with the idea when i mentioned ‘’we’ll leave it over for some coffee’
 

Velasco

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I think shes still a bit flakey cuz she hasn’t honed in her schedule for our date and she said i was insisting with the idea when i mentioned ‘’we’ll leave it over for some coffee’
Think shes not trying go on a date and skip straight to coming over to your place. But you dont smoke/vape so..
 

Nicko

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Think shes not trying go on a date and skip straight to coming over to your place. But you dont smoke/vape so..
Oh nooo i just realised, shit yeah I could 100% see it now, at first i thought it was a social frame question.

also I got bit suspicious when i heard someone in the background and there was some random dudes voices during our call(maybe she is in a call with other people, her older brother, or clicked on some intagram vid who knows) so i played it off like that
 

Skills

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mmhh, haha im a bit conflicted I have few ice breakers to work with

‘’hey HB, i notice sometime intresting about you’’ Fogs usual response

‘’hey this is Nicko, nice meeting you+continuing the convo topic’’

Skill which I u told me to drop the cringy emojis lol

‘’Hey [call back humor] this is Nicko+continuing convo topic’’



forgot to mention she has an older brother, i don’t know how that will play out, must likely her coming over instead( she is around my age, played it smooth when she asked my age, said i was recently 17 making me bit older just in case if she was way older then expected)

I think shes still a bit flakey cuz she hasn’t honed in her schedule for our date and she said i was insisting with the idea when i mentioned ‘’we’ll leave it over for some coffee’
You will always have conflicting information that is why you need to field test... I prefer continue with conversational thread or some unique humor, or some unique nickname or role play:

- "I had a great time pretending to be dancing with you while grabbing your ass, skills"
- "hey who is that good looking guy you are talking to"
- " hey salad girl, how is it going"
- I still can't believe what that dude did at the club unreal
 

fog

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‘’hey HB, i notice sometime intresting about you’’ Fogs usual response

i dont think ive ever used that line at all. timing and semantics are important here. ive definitely used variations. For example:

"hey HB, i just noticed you"

Used to experiment with this as a first message on facebook and tinder. I would often use it as a throwaway statement just to measure interest before the real opener came. It would often confuse girls. How can you just notice someone online?

...and I tried it out during daygame for a bit. didnt like it either. never used it when texting a girl after getting a number.

"There's something about you"

In north american culture, this is being direct while being vague...by not including any sort of descriptor at all (wild, interesting, random, etc), you keep it sufficiently ambiguous to trigger curiosity. This goes near the start or can be included during qualy...

what i have been using:

"i just realized something"

Use this any time you wanna transition into a new topic in a calibrated way. Similar to "that reminds me." can be used when texting a girl after getting her number.

fog: hi selena nice to meet you, i just realized something - fog
selena: what is it?
fog: what the dude did at the club? unreal (skills)

I also experiment with "i just realized something about you" thru text sometimes but it can be legitimately tricky to follow up with unless you truly have some sort of info about her thats really gonna blow her mind.

re: open loop

no need to drop an open loop then say "ill tell you later." drop the open loop and leave her on read for a bit to build tension [good way to open up an opportunity to call her as well]. after leaving her on read then close the open loop. good way to drive her nuts in a low effort way.

if she experiences very little reaction to an open loop and is not hounding you to close it, you dont have enough value yet.
 
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