What to do when Girls don't give you Attention after Opening

[vicknick]

Most of the time after opening with the girls, they will give me attention and talk for a while. But there are a few times after I said my opener, the girls will just continue with what they do, sometimes it could be playing with their phones, or their eyes could be wandering elsewhere instead of looking at you, or in the case of grocery, they could continue looking at the grocery shelf.

What I think is that if the girl don't give you attention, that means she thinks she is "higher" than you. That means I have to challenge them to lower their frame down. For now, if the girl don't give attention, I would ask them if I am interrupting what they are doing. If they say yes, I will then say "it's only 2 minute, just want to get to know you.". However, if the girl say no, then I will say "well, that's rude isn't it, I am talking to you but you are looking elsewhere/ doing something else", in a teasing manner.

Just curious how would you guys solve this situation.

 

[fog]

you need to look at a few things here to accomplish getting and holding her attention consistently:

1. Your preapproach

Are you gauging how a girl is feeling before you open her? She might be in a negative mood and thus less receptive to you. If you can recognize the girls who are more likely to be receptive, then you won't have your stated issue.

It's also important that you look at your own preapproach. Are you always preapproaching correctly? Small changes to your pre-approach can make all the difference between whether she pays attention to you or not. For example, take girls on benches who have their heads in their phones. This is a scenario in which you can easily get ignored. By getting her attention off her phone and onto you before delivering your pre-opener, the more likely she will be receptive to you.

Are you using a pre-opener? Just launching straight into your opener can be very startling. Using pre-openers like "I have something important to tell you", or "i noticed something interesting about you" really help!

2. Your opener

Are you using direct or indirect? I stopped using direct ages ago when I got a higher percentage of girls giving me more attention on my opener with indirect.

If you're going indirect and using a cold read, does she feel like this is accurate? Maybe you called her compassionate and she doesn't identify with that. So she doesn't give you attention because right off the bat you showed her you don't understand her. It would be better to use a more generic cold read like how she seems confident - everyone wants to be seen like that!

Could it be possible to incorporate reality pacing into your openers? Many students of the game have found success with this type of opener. Using speaker centred openers can help you here as well.

3. Your transition from the open to the hook

How are you transitioning from your opener to your hook? After captivating her with your opener, you have the chance to keep talking in order to immerse her fully. Providing her with a follow up perspective on your opener gives you the chance to walk this road. Some great examples of this lie in this article underneath the "Evoking Truths in your Conversations with Girls" section.

Are you asking the right questions? Sometimes you can ask her questions in this part of the seduction that are just too much compliance for her level of investment. If you ask her questions that are tailored to her level of investment, and are also easy to answer, you can stay in her good books early on. For example, I like to to ask the following questions to tourists: "how are you liking this city?", "where are you from" and "whats your favorite part about your country?"

 

[DownEarth]

you need to look at a few things here to accomplish getting and holding her attention consistently:

1. Your preapproach

Are you gauging how a girl is feeling before you open her? She might be in a negative mood and thus less receptive to you. If you can recognize the girls who are more likely to be receptive, then you won't have your stated issue.

It's also important that you look at your own preapproach. Are you always preapproaching correctly? Small changes to your pre-approach can make all the difference between whether she pays attention to you or not. For example, take girls on benches who have their heads in their phones. This is a scenario in which you can easily get ignored. By getting her attention off her phone and onto you before delivering your pre-opener, the more likely she will be receptive to you.

Are you using a pre-opener? Just launching straight into your opener can be very startling. Using pre-openers like "I have something important to tell you", or "i noticed something interesting about you" really help!

2. Your opener

Are you using direct or indirect? I stopped using direct ages ago when I got a higher percentage of girls giving me more attention on my opener with indirect.

If you're going indirect and using a cold read, does she feel like this is accurate? Maybe you called her compassionate and she doesn't identify with that. So she doesn't give you attention because right off the bat you showed her you don't understand her. It would be better to use a more generic cold read like how she seems confident - everyone wants to be seen like that!

Could it be possible to incorporate reality pacing into your openers? Many students of the game have found success with these types of openers. Using speaker centred openers can help you here as well.

3. Your transition from the open to the hook

How are you transitioning from your opener to your hook? After captivating her with your opener, you have the chance to keep talking in order to immerse her fully. Providing her with a follow up perspective on your opener gives you the chance to walk this road. Some great examples of this lie in this article underneath the "Evoking Truths in your Conversations with Girls" section.

Are you asking the right questions? Sometimes you can ask her questions in this part of the seduction that are just too much compliance for her level of investment. If you ask her questions that are tailored to her level of investment, and are also easy to answer, you can stay in her good books early on. For example, I like to to ask the following questions to tourists: "how are you liking this city?", "where are you from" and "whats your favorite part about your country?"

There's two ways I would respond to the original poster.

1.) Maybe she just isn't attracted to you.

or hopefully she is and

2.) Follow the advice of Fog to get what your heart desires.

In my view, it's one or the other.

 

[vicknick]

Thanks for the reply. I don't think there is anything wrong with my approach or opening, since most of the time girls will stop and give me attention. I am just wondering how to tackle the situation where the girls sometimes will not give you full attention while talking to you, eg. they continue playing with phones or looking elsewhere or looking at grocery

 

[apone]

I've had this happen when the conversation runs out of steam or I go into question mode to fill silence (start asking her random questions about herself, which is lazy af and gets very boring).

Have some interesting stories/observations ready and make sure you're not asking too many questions. If this is happening right after your opener though, it usually means she's just not interested. Next.