- Joined
- Sep 21, 2016
- Messages
- 1,558
Hey guys, I just had a pretty bad reaction from a girl that I was super interested in. This has also happened with a high quality girl from last year.
What it comes down to, is that I tend to get wrapped up in the romantic aspect of liking a girl immediately and considering her special, and then become outcome dependent. I start thinking that the universe made us run into each other and begin to think that this one will just be different, and it's okay if I "bend the rules" of seduction a little bit. It brings me cognitive dissonance with when I simultaneously contemplate life's potential determinism with it's potential randomness.
Most recently I did something akin to confessing my strong interest (that I had really hoped I'd run into this girl again) and not persisting properly. It ended very bad and my reputation will almost certainly suffer - which I care about for several reasons.
I think this is somewhat of an instinctual response, because the outcome has the illusion of being so damn good, something kicks in to make me say, "I HAVE to make this go right", which regresses back to chasey/needy/poorly gamed behaviors.
Other than continually getting more experience and trying to learn from my mistakes, I'm unsure how else to work on this.
Hue
What it comes down to, is that I tend to get wrapped up in the romantic aspect of liking a girl immediately and considering her special, and then become outcome dependent. I start thinking that the universe made us run into each other and begin to think that this one will just be different, and it's okay if I "bend the rules" of seduction a little bit. It brings me cognitive dissonance with when I simultaneously contemplate life's potential determinism with it's potential randomness.
Most recently I did something akin to confessing my strong interest (that I had really hoped I'd run into this girl again) and not persisting properly. It ended very bad and my reputation will almost certainly suffer - which I care about for several reasons.
I think this is somewhat of an instinctual response, because the outcome has the illusion of being so damn good, something kicks in to make me say, "I HAVE to make this go right", which regresses back to chasey/needy/poorly gamed behaviors.
Other than continually getting more experience and trying to learn from my mistakes, I'm unsure how else to work on this.
Hue
