- Joined
- May 20, 2021
- Messages
- 88
I've been seeing this girl for around 3 months. She was from a cold approach group set my wing opened. I'm 33 shes 23.
I didn't put a label on anything and ive been fucking lots of other girls this whole time off dating apps. None of them compare to her in terms of attractiveness and how we vibe together.
My goal is to have fun and learn how to deal with drama better in relationships to prepare me for my future partner (s). I've had relationships in the past, my previous one was way too long (4 years) and the biggest lesson i learned was to learn to let go when things are not fun anymore and its effecting other areas of my life.
She verbalizes how she doesnt want me to see other girls. I have not had a discussion with her fully yet where I lay down what i am looking for. The frame i set was basically "dont ask, dont tell" and in my head, if the relationship progresses and we become monogamous i would just fuck other girls and lie about it very carefully so she never finds out.
The issue is that she has a drinking problem and ALOT of past trauma. And it gets BAD. Its not a daily or weekly problem that effects me, but theres been a couple instances where it has.
Example: I invite girl to meet some friends at a bar. She gets jealous when she sees a girl standing next to me. She bumps into her hard while walking by and almost starts a fight. Then she goes and dances with 2 guys which she says its cool cause they were gay and a couple. She then got very distraught and was stumbling out of the bar saying she was gonna go home and started talking about all her issues with her family and friends. When she was sober i told her that what she did was disrepectful to my firends and me and she said she wouldnt do it again.
Another example: I invited her to my friends kids birthday party. She got really drunk again but hid it well until we left. I think she was blacked out at this point. She started going on again about how she cant trust me, etc. Starting a scene in the sidewalk.
Recently, she called me around 9pm on Monday (I was on a date so i didnt pick up). She drunk texted me that she cant trust me etc blah blah blah. When i called her back after i closed my date, she told me she went to a bar after work alone and got really drunk before she called me and she was overthinking a lot of things. I told her i dont wanna deal with that bs anymore and i blocked her from everything impulsively.
She showed up to my apartment unannounced yesterday to try and apologize. I had a date to go to so I was in a rush and couldnt really sit and talk everything through. I basically said it was done tho. But we are meeting again today to talk about it.
I know there are things in my control and things out of my control. Is there anything I can do better here? I do really like her and besides this drunkenness and past trauma that causes her to get drunk and act like this, its been pretty fun.
Can a man be unreactive and strong during times like this to help the girl behave properly? Or is this out of my control and i should just cut it off?
I didn't put a label on anything and ive been fucking lots of other girls this whole time off dating apps. None of them compare to her in terms of attractiveness and how we vibe together.
My goal is to have fun and learn how to deal with drama better in relationships to prepare me for my future partner (s). I've had relationships in the past, my previous one was way too long (4 years) and the biggest lesson i learned was to learn to let go when things are not fun anymore and its effecting other areas of my life.
She verbalizes how she doesnt want me to see other girls. I have not had a discussion with her fully yet where I lay down what i am looking for. The frame i set was basically "dont ask, dont tell" and in my head, if the relationship progresses and we become monogamous i would just fuck other girls and lie about it very carefully so she never finds out.
The issue is that she has a drinking problem and ALOT of past trauma. And it gets BAD. Its not a daily or weekly problem that effects me, but theres been a couple instances where it has.
Example: I invite girl to meet some friends at a bar. She gets jealous when she sees a girl standing next to me. She bumps into her hard while walking by and almost starts a fight. Then she goes and dances with 2 guys which she says its cool cause they were gay and a couple. She then got very distraught and was stumbling out of the bar saying she was gonna go home and started talking about all her issues with her family and friends. When she was sober i told her that what she did was disrepectful to my firends and me and she said she wouldnt do it again.
Another example: I invited her to my friends kids birthday party. She got really drunk again but hid it well until we left. I think she was blacked out at this point. She started going on again about how she cant trust me, etc. Starting a scene in the sidewalk.
Recently, she called me around 9pm on Monday (I was on a date so i didnt pick up). She drunk texted me that she cant trust me etc blah blah blah. When i called her back after i closed my date, she told me she went to a bar after work alone and got really drunk before she called me and she was overthinking a lot of things. I told her i dont wanna deal with that bs anymore and i blocked her from everything impulsively.
She showed up to my apartment unannounced yesterday to try and apologize. I had a date to go to so I was in a rush and couldnt really sit and talk everything through. I basically said it was done tho. But we are meeting again today to talk about it.
I know there are things in my control and things out of my control. Is there anything I can do better here? I do really like her and besides this drunkenness and past trauma that causes her to get drunk and act like this, its been pretty fun.
Can a man be unreactive and strong during times like this to help the girl behave properly? Or is this out of my control and i should just cut it off?