"Who Cares What Other People Think?" Why this is a bad phrase (IMO)

[Atlas]

"Who cares what other people think?" You often hear this phrase thrown around, especially in the dating community. You might hear something akin to "Who cares what other people think, if you think she's pretty go after her!" While this may seem like sound advice at first, let me explain to you while I don't believe this is the case. I'll start by saying I don't really think people know what they are talking about when they say that. I think you should care about what others think, at least to some degree. It stops you from doing potentially stupid things, or acting out impulses. Many times people are negatively judged for indulging on their impulses, and it makes sense, it represents a lack of control over yourself. I think what they really mean is that you should not listen to overly negative individuals, because if you were to take this at face value, then that also means you cannot listen to their talks of praise nor their talks of damnation. So let's flip the coin and have someone say "Wow Atlas, your girlfriend is so hot!" If I were to truly exemplify "not caring" then it would mean nothing to me. Often times people are trying to better you, or even if they are insulting you then they are doing it on things that make sense (some times). For example, I have never gotten such honest feedback about what needs improved upon myself then when I've been in a verbal disagreement. "You're fat!" one might say. If I was fat, yet somehow didn't know it, shouldn't I listen to the individual and try to get skinnier if I cared about self improvement? Because I certainly would want to. An extreme, real example of how negatively impactful this phrase could be if taken to heart would be plus sized models. Now I'm not ragging on plus sized models, some sure are pretty. But they'd look a lot better if they were healthier and skinnier. Many of them say things like "People should like me for me, whether I'm fat or skinny!" While there is certainly some degree of truth in that, purposefully neglecting bettering yourself (although this is subjective) for the sake of not wanting to listen to others is ignorant.

There are most definitely times you should listen to this advice however. An example would be if you have a girlfriend that you immensely care for. If you think she is beautiful and the most amazing girl in the world, but no one else really likes her, then you should neglect harmful criticism. I bolded that because I thought it is really what the phrase about not caring about what others think truly exemplifies. I hope I made my point across, I feel a little like those math teachers in high school or college who really know what they are talking about it but just can't quite seem to convey their point to their point some times haha. As always if anyone wants further clarification or has any constructive points they'd like to get across I'm more than happy to listen

Keep it Real,
Atlas

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Atlas dude! A see ya point an understand ya angle with this but usually this line is thrown at people to get over approach anxiety to change their mindset about society.

A forget who made the thread but he said how his parents an friends think cold approach is strange an only weird people do it an seem to think the universe will just handle relationships for ya which is bull shit. A remember another thread where the poster questioned making female friends because they'll think he just wants to fuck them. Contradictory to the whole point that they don't actually know what ya after.

Society has a negative view of the seduction community, listening to what society is telling ya ya won't approach out of fear for what society thinks. But if ya think fuck it who cares what they think ya free yaself to go an take what ya want.

Granted in certain contexts an aspects what people think is important. Feedback an constructive criticism is there to improve you but this is a notion of realising ya opinion is the most important because only you want what's best for you. This shouldn't mean ignore guidance or advice but to not worry about other people's negativity or societies limited views if it doesn't fit ya purpose. This is very difficult to say to motivate someone who needs to take action, NOW.

There's a time to forget about what people think an a time where it matters. This is on ya judgement of the situation.

A good example of this is lots of people comment on how great they think my hair is. There's always the odd person that says a need a haircut. I like having my hair long so who cares what they think? A little devil's advocate dude!

 

[Atlas]

Hey Flux, thanks for stopping by. Definitely an interesting take on it and I agree with your sentiments. Thanks for the input