"Your Boyfriend" Screening Trick

Hue

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Let's say you're in a set with a girl.

You decided not to use the very direct opener of, "are you single?".

This is passed that - you've been a few minutes into conversation and she seems interested, but you can't tell if she has a partner, or if that partner is in the proximity.

You have no reason to think one way or the other, but before you continue to invest, you think you ought to screen for her availability.


"So, you just sitting here waiting on your boyfriend or..?"


This assumes she's taken. If the vibe is good between you two then she won't want you thinking this.

Nearly every time I've used this I get back, "I don't have a boyfriend".

Which clears you to pinch into conversation, "oh, well good for us... we're both single (= ".


Now she knows you're interested, you know she's single, and depending on how she responded, you'll know how interested she is.


If it was a neutral, "I don't have one", you've probably got some more work to do in attracting her to you.

If she has a big smile and excitedly answers the question, you know she's probably liking what she's seeing.

A nervous smile and a more hushed delivery is also a good sign, but you may have some attainability factors to work on with her.

Or, a sexy, "don't have one", with an amused look on her face indicates experience. It's an "I see what you did there" kinda vibe.


She also might not be interested, and shut down at the question. "I don't have one" with a serious tone is either a rejection or a really good shit test. Either way I would simply continue talking to her, perhaps in a more platonic direction.

Other times she'll have one, but will be flattered to some degree and continue to enjoy the convo with you. I've had boyfriends show up seconds after I ask this.

If she has that big smile and excitedly answers that yes, she does, chances are you could probably cuck him if that suites your interests (though that could also just be her loving the attention and potential for two guys fighting over her).


This works best for social circle and/or any time you're trying to be slightly more subtle or under the radar in your screening, to match my experience.

I've also used it on girls who I know have had boyfriends and it's ambiguous now to whether they're together or not, for example.

For a known boyfriend / ex-boyfriend, it's totally reasonable to just ask "hey so how is [ex]?".

Or if she's just been talking with another guy that night, simply "assume" they are together. "So how long you and Jeff been dating?", is one of the most subtle ways to do it, since she might just think you're joking. I love using this with a lower value guy in the social circle, because they almost always giggle with an "oh my gosh Jeff and I are NOT dating".


You can use any variation of it, like "so, where is your boyfriend", or a more arousal spiking one, "is your boyfriend going to get pissed I'm talking with you?".



Imagine if a hot girl asked you where your girlfriend was after just meeting you.

Most times, the opposite party usually knows exactly what the other is doing. It's a compliment, end of the day.

Same shit, different genitalia.


Hue
 

DarkKnight

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You know what, I think I will try this out. Maybe vary on it a little, because tons of times I have girls flirting with me while they have boyfriends and I learn it later on. But Hue, is this not asking for resistance? Isn't it better to not mention any boyfriend because you place your self in the boyfriend zone this way?
 

Hue

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That's a great point man!

Like most tactics, techniques, and "methods", it all depends on context.

Alotta times, it's completely irrelevant if the girl has a boyfriend and you're right, this might do nothing but trigger ASD if she does have one.


That said, this is most valuable as a gauging tool.


You're doing this to slide in your interest in a clear but subtle way, while simultaneously gauging her reaction, and screening for what you're about to encounter in the set.

You'll know more on how much she likes her potential boyfriend / if she's down to cheat when you ask this.

Not that you need to do this, it's just an option among many in gauging interest (along with touch, innuendo, body language, etc.). This fits my style pretty well, and I've used it enough times to know it works for me. (=


It's versatile, so it depends on how subtle you're trying to communicate.

Amongst social circle, where being under the radar is very important, it leans more towards screening (it's a pretty bad look to overtly go for girls with known boyfriends).

In cold approach it definitely leans more towards slyly showing interest (more of a "your boyfriend won't be a problem, right?" without saying that).

In both cases, so long as you're still communicating loverish qualities and focusing on the purpose of the technique, the boyfriend box is still avoidable. Just because you are discovering if she has one doesn't mean you're putting your ballot in the hat for becoming one.
 

DarkKnight

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Okay I will try to use this, because more than once when I was on the street and I see a girl waiting, apparently they are waiting for boyfriends or prospective boyfriends. This makes me screen faster at the very least. Also their reactions is a good gauging system. Let's do it :)
 

Michal

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I think this is my first trick I learned before I knew about this site.
Anyways, as mentioned by Hue, there are variations to it. I use it pretty much during the conversation.

Examples
Her: "I usually get home past 10" (meaning from work - 2h trip)
Me: "That is crazy, where do you find time for hobbies or your boyfriend?"
Her: "He drives me to the city sometimes, it takes about an hour"

---
Her: *in class, being bored, drawing flowers in her notebook"
Me: "you can do that 'does he like me' / 'doesn't he like me' thing with the flowers :)"
Her: "uhh.. I know already."
Me: "well, it was Valentines this Sunday so I am sure your boyfriend had something prepared"
Her: "We are not together anymore..."

---
Her: "It's weird how all the pictures in my feed are my friends with babies"
Me: "How does it make you feel?"
Her: *shrugs her shoulders as if to say "I don't know"*
Me: "Don't worry, get a date, get a boyfriend, make him a husband and then you can show your friends your future baby :)"
Her: *silent*
here I assumed she did not have anyone, that she felt like she was missing out, she just turned 25, I still have no clue how to interpret this.

---
Her: "I just moved in to a new place :)"
Me: "With a roommate, your boyfriend or your cat?"
Her: "Just me and my dog :) Do I give you the 'cat person vibe'? :)"

---
Her: "I move to X part of town next week"
Me: "Cool, lots of green there. If you have a lot of stuff, just hire moving guys, your boyfriend will appreciate it too :)"

---
*talking about how she got to my city*
Me: "so are you travelling by yourself or with your boyfriend or family?"
Her: "No, just my friend. She is a singer too" (they were in a choir together)

---
*talking about where she would travel*
Me: "So is this (Malorca) a place where you want to go with your boyfriend for a romantic trip or just with friends to relax?


Most of the times, I don't want to draw too much attention to this. I kinda think that not hiding it within the topic of the conversation would be telegraphic romantic (specifically LTR) kind of interest to a girl
 

Fuck This

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This past Sunday I was riding along with a hot flirty blonde who was really outgoing. I asked her where "Home" was. She replied "We have a place up east of G-ville".

So I inquired "who is the rest of "We"?"

She elaborated "My husband James, back there in the white shirt and hat."

Funny thing was she didn't mention anything about the two kids. But she did bring her mother over to introduce her.
 

JacobPalmer

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Interesting topic, and one I've used before. But I think something is missing, in that when you ask if she has a boyfriend, you're displaying that:

1. You wouldn't be interested if she did have one
2. You care if she has one
3. This one may be subjective but I also think it displays you as another boyfriend candidate when you ask this, and not a lover candidate.

The only way that I've tried which seems to work in a number of ways is: "So is there some secret boyfriend I shouldn't be concerned about, or are you actually single?"

This showcases that you don't care if she has a boyfriend, that she's hiding she has a boyfriend because she likes you. So she now has to qualify. It's also pretty funny and usually gets a laugh.

But also, depends on how far you as a seducer want to go with girls who aren't single. :) Then again......almost everyone is always fucking someone. Might as well be you.
 

Hue

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Michal & JP,

Yea I mean you don't always want to use this. It works in some context better than others.

Outta sight, outta mind. You would want to keep her mental track and emotional state transfixed on you as a lover, and keep any ASD or boyfriend territory (which can lead to her temporarily friendzoning you) out of the equation.

That said it can be a flirty option to plant into conversation. There's plenty of others, and this is one that can fit into social circle contexts better than cold approach.


JP, I like your variation, and will give it a shot!


Personally, I'm not interested in getting involved with girls who have boyfriends very often. If they have strong emotions with another guy it tends to end up guilt tripping them and making things messier for the girl's mental state, in my current experience.

Now, if she's annoyed / dissatisfied with her man, then I'm happy to take her as a lover. It would be wonderful to be a breath of fresh air to her when she needs it.


Hue
 

Overdoze

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Another good one is to eg. slide your finger sensually along her arm and playfully say "so will your boyfriend be jealous if i do this"? "

This way you escalate playfully and arouse her while testing for bf

i also like "so what does your BF say to you flirting w handsome guys in bars like this"? Promts an instant response too due to the assumed she has one angle (creates dissonance in her). at the same time it articulates a "we're flirting frame" in a subtle way.
 

Hue

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Personally, I'm not interested in getting involved with girls who have boyfriends very often. If they have strong emotions with another guy it tends to end up guilt tripping them and making things messier for the girl's mental state, in my current experience.
Just told a girl who pulled the boyfriend card on me tonight (I didn't use any variation of the original post with her) and she loved it. I had a vibe that she is just "dating" a guy and doesn't really fuck with him that much, so I went for as concise as explanation as possible of, "girls aren't always that into their boyfriends", and she seemed really down with what I was saying. She thought it was hot.

That said I didn't pull hard enough to get her away from friends. Just thought I'd throw this in here and that it was relevant.


Hue
 

Fuck This

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I had the other day an episode where the Woman was actually SIGNALLING AVAILABILITY to me.

We were talking about tasks that had to be done, and she was doing them, and she said quite pointedly "ugh.....I just need a husband!"

This is a 30 year old, childless "independent" and good looking girl. She'd dated acquaintances of mine. But I think she had really high standards.
 

JacobPalmer

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Thing to keep in mind - girls are (almost) always looking to trade up. It's the law of the land. So honestly it doesn't matter if she has a boyfriend, UNLESS he is better than you. :) For those that are unhappy, a neat little thing I've done before when you can tell she's unhappy is give her your #, and tell her to call you when if she's ever single. Not going to pan out every time but sometimes it will, usually within a few weeks after you meet her as she'll be unhappy with her current situation.
 
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