I am Zucchini. As of this post, I am in my mid-twenties trying to learn to meet and date women I like. This journal is part of my personal learning strategy. I hope to use this as a place to reflect on my experiences and simplify my learning to deepen my understanding (using a similar strategy to the Feynman technique).
About Me
I'm a daytime, intellectual kind of guy. I come from an engineering background because I was good at logic in school, but I've always enjoyed creative pursuits too--writing, music, dance, visual art...all beautiful to me.
I don't much enjoy parties, nightclubs, drinking, or drugs. Too loud, too chaotic. In psychological terms, I am a "highly sensitive person" (HSP). It just means I'm a little more sensitive to details and easier to overwhelm than average. According to the research it's a genetic trait, so I just accept it and live my life appropriately.
Several years ago I found GC and started trying to meet girls. I spam approached, but my fundamentals weren't there and I got blown out over and over again. I felt it was because I wasn't good enough. Today, my fundamentals are the best they've ever been. I've worked hard. But the lingering whisper that I'm not good enough is still there. I want to overcome my fears and become a stronger man.
My Goals
As of today, I don't plan to be a master seducer. My goals in dating really boil down to two things:
For my goals and disposition, daygame seemed most attractive. I'm not interested in nightlife or party girls, and social circle is somewhat unreliable for the quality of girl I am looking for.
Overall I'm interested in getting "good enough" at dating for now and then moving on to my next life goal. There are lots of things to do in life, and I want to die with no regrets.
My Plan
I have already been tackling this dating thing for a few weeks now. I am fortunate to already be working with one of the coaches at GC over the phone, but my coach won't always be with me. I also have plenty of learning and experimenting to do on my own.
Generically speaking, my current plan is something like this:
About Me
I'm a daytime, intellectual kind of guy. I come from an engineering background because I was good at logic in school, but I've always enjoyed creative pursuits too--writing, music, dance, visual art...all beautiful to me.
I don't much enjoy parties, nightclubs, drinking, or drugs. Too loud, too chaotic. In psychological terms, I am a "highly sensitive person" (HSP). It just means I'm a little more sensitive to details and easier to overwhelm than average. According to the research it's a genetic trait, so I just accept it and live my life appropriately.
Several years ago I found GC and started trying to meet girls. I spam approached, but my fundamentals weren't there and I got blown out over and over again. I felt it was because I wasn't good enough. Today, my fundamentals are the best they've ever been. I've worked hard. But the lingering whisper that I'm not good enough is still there. I want to overcome my fears and become a stronger man.
My Goals
As of today, I don't plan to be a master seducer. My goals in dating really boil down to two things:
- Develop the skill to meet, attract, date, and enter a relationship with women who meet my standards (smart, naturally beautiful, open-minded, hardworking, creative, sweet, loyal, and humorous).
- Enter a relationship with the confidence that I will be ok no matter what happens. If a relationship with one girl doesn't work out, I have the skill to meet another.
For my goals and disposition, daygame seemed most attractive. I'm not interested in nightlife or party girls, and social circle is somewhat unreliable for the quality of girl I am looking for.
Overall I'm interested in getting "good enough" at dating for now and then moving on to my next life goal. There are lots of things to do in life, and I want to die with no regrets.
My Plan
I have already been tackling this dating thing for a few weeks now. I am fortunate to already be working with one of the coaches at GC over the phone, but my coach won't always be with me. I also have plenty of learning and experimenting to do on my own.
Generically speaking, my current plan is something like this:
- Work with my coach. Follow his lead on what I should be focusing on and what I don't need to worry about.
- Observe and reflect on my actions after outings with this journal. Set a 15-minute time limit per post so I stay focused.
- Do some research on GC when encountering sticking points. Stay focused. Read 1-2 articles max. Watch a video or two. Apply.
- Work on my mental. Learn to be present in the moment. Accept that I am not perfect, but I don't need to be. Challenge my fears and insecurities one step at a time. Be nice to myself--dating is complex, and exposing myself to rejection is hard. Try meditation, therapy techniques, and reflecting on real life experiences.
- Have fun. I want to take this seriously, but at the same time, dating attractive women is fun. It should feel fun.