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- Oct 9, 2012
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Every now and then I see guys who as total or relative beginners manage to get security called on themselves for mass approaching in certain types of venues. Sometimes this results in these guys being banned from these places. Often it results in a lot of shame for the guy and sometimes abandonment by him of cold approach altogether.
I have made many thousands of approaches on women, including in all these places where guys have run into trouble, and I have never had security talk to me and certainly not been banned. It's important to understand that different venues have different rules, different expectations among the people who are there, and you need to understand these and respect them.
To help out guys just starting out, let me list out some different kinds of venues and the basic rules on approaching there.
Definitions:
PLACES NEVER TO MASS APPROACH
You should NEVER mass approach women in these venues. Sniper/opportunistic game and social circle game only.
You can absolutely use sniper game in any of these venues, so long as it is occasional. For gyms and small shops, I would advise keeping your approaches to no more than 1 per visit every 2 to 3 visits. The exception is if you are the really social guy who talks to everyone. If you chat up everyone, guys and girls alike, and people really like you and respond well to you, then you can be Mr. Chatty and bend or break this rule. Otherwise, use moderation.
PLACES TO BE CAREFUL MASS APPROACHING
The following places can allow some degree of mass approaching, but you need to be careful not to overdo it.
Again, you can mass approach at these places, but it needs to be in moderation. No 20 approaches/hour on the college campus like one guy recently said he did (and then got interrupted by campus security while he was having a nice conversation with girl #20). Aim to look like just a chill, relaxed, sociable guy who has a REASON for being there besides "I'm just a horn-dog just hittin' on babes", don't go buckwild approaching a new girl every 3 minutes, and you will be okay.
PLACES YOU CAN SAFELY MASS APPROACH
These are the venues you can mass approach in with relative abandon:
PLACES YOU CAN DOWNRIGHT SPAM APPROACH
Got an itch to approach 25 girls/hour that you just HAVE to scratch?
Want to just spam openers on girls then move on to the next girl to open?
You're in luck; there are places where you can totally spam approach to your heart's content, with little fear of running into big scary men who tell you to leave.
And that's it.
Follow this list and you can avoid ending up in sticky/uncomfortable situations, and make your approaching with the peace of mind of knowing you aren't being the socially awkward guy at risk of getting the boot.
Instead, be the cool guy who calibrates the frequency of his approaching to the venue, and meet girls worry-free.
Chase
I have made many thousands of approaches on women, including in all these places where guys have run into trouble, and I have never had security talk to me and certainly not been banned. It's important to understand that different venues have different rules, different expectations among the people who are there, and you need to understand these and respect them.
To help out guys just starting out, let me list out some different kinds of venues and the basic rules on approaching there.
Definitions:
- Spam Approach: a guy just going up approaching every girl he sees, not even worrying about how it goes or how it looks. If you're doing 7+ approaches an hour, no matter how smooth you are, you are spam approaching.
- Mass Approach: a guy going out to do a lot of approaching. Think 6-10+ approaches in an outing. These may be spread out across 2, 3, 4 hours or more.
- Sniper Game: strategically approaching women one-off, opportunistically. i.e., you are out and about, not really planning to approach, when you see an extremely cute girl who looks like just your type. So you wait for an opening or create one, then go in. You're not doing a bunch of approaching; you are only approaching on occasion, when an opportunity presents itself. That could be an approach invitation, a girl who looks like just your type, or who catches your eye for some other reason, or a girl who is just oozing "wants to meet a guy" somehow even if no obvious approach invitations.
- Social Circle Game: socializing over time with the same people. Getting to know girls gradually over multiple in-person interactions. You should also be talking to guys, too, to not look like you are just an anti-social horn-dog, unless it is some kind of weird social circle where you are the only guy present (unlikely).
PLACES NEVER TO MASS APPROACH
You should NEVER mass approach women in these venues. Sniper/opportunistic game and social circle game only.
- Gyms. If you're chatting up more than one new girl every two gym visits, you are probably approaching too much. If you only ever chat up girls, and never guys, you are also going to start attracting the wrong kind of attention (i.e., from people who know what you are doing).
- Pools. Sniper game only. They're not going to take kindly to some guy who hovers around every girl in a bikini in the place trying to shoot his shot. Make it just an occasional convo with a cute girl in swimwear though and you'll do fine. Think 2-3 approaches over a 2-3 hour visit, and have some buddies with you so you look like a sociable guy and not a weirdo trawling the pool for tail, and you'll be okay.
- Small shops. Don't walk into Victoria's Secret and approach every girl looking at bras and panties. Don't walk into a tiny sporting goods store and chat up every chick looking at sports gear. Don't go to Starbucks and hit on every girl sipping on her macchiato. You will wear out your welcome very quick.
- Social circle. Everybody knows who you are and everyone is watching. Be social, talk to new people, girls AND guys. Don't be bouncing around hounding after girl after girl having two-minute conversations and ignoring the guys. It looks really weird, and you will end up dis-invited and/or socially outcast.
- Seated events. Movie theaters, sports stadiums, comedy shows, classes, demonstrations, etc. If people are sitting, you should not be going around up and down the aisles squeezing through the rows trying to approach random women. Only do this if you really want to get booted out by security for some reason.
You can absolutely use sniper game in any of these venues, so long as it is occasional. For gyms and small shops, I would advise keeping your approaches to no more than 1 per visit every 2 to 3 visits. The exception is if you are the really social guy who talks to everyone. If you chat up everyone, guys and girls alike, and people really like you and respond well to you, then you can be Mr. Chatty and bend or break this rule. Otherwise, use moderation.
PLACES TO BE CAREFUL MASS APPROACHING
The following places can allow some degree of mass approaching, but you need to be careful not to overdo it.
- Malls. You might think the mall is big and spacious and no one is paying attention, but they are. Malls have mall cops who roam the halls, and they have security guards in a backroom watching cameras that cover the whole place. If you're only approaching a handful of girls every now and again, they are not going to care. If you're spam approaching, you stand a good chance of a security encounter / ban from the mall. Keep it to 3-4 approaches per hour, a couple of hours per session max, ideally no more than once every 1-1.5 weeks, and you should be fine.
- College campuses. The epicenter of hyper-feminist "heterosexual male attention is harassment!" weirdness. If you start spam approaching here, some feminist is going to get uncomfortable and report you. Your approaches should be chill, natural, and not overly frequent. Again, like the mall, 3-4 approaches per hour, spread apart across the campus, a couple hours of approaching per week max, is about the most I would recommend. Also, if you really like college chicks, check the cafés, shopping streets, and bars just off of campus. High volume of college chicks, more relaxed atmosphere, the hyper-feminist chicks don't view it as their backyard they have to police, no campus security some triggered chick can sick on you, and it's more normal that you're there if you're not a college student, too.
- Small bars. You can do some degree of mass approaching in a bar, but you probably should not be doing more than 3-7 approaches per hour maximum, depending on the size of the bar and how visible your approaches are to the rest of the staff and patrons there. I would recommend no more than two nights per week at any given small bar you want to mass approach at, and preferably only once a week. Also, if you plan to be there often, get there early, get to know the staff when it isn't busy, be likable and friendly, and tip well.
- Small shopping streets. Little small shopping streets and alleys can be GREAT places to meet lone wolves out for a little shopping trip. They're slower paced, quiet, and you will have the girl's full attention. Just keep in mind the shopkeepers will be paying attention if you are there a lot and make it your usual haunt. You can also run into awkward situations if the same girls shop there regularly and you are also there regularly... always hitting on lots of girls. Good rule of thumb is 2-3 approaches per small shopping street per visit, once every two weeks or so. Find a bunch of small shopping streets and you'll be set. If you find yourself on the same street all the time, then take some time to patronize the businesses and befriend the shopkeepers, that way you are at worst "that eccentric but pleasant guy who likes to chat up the girls."
Again, you can mass approach at these places, but it needs to be in moderation. No 20 approaches/hour on the college campus like one guy recently said he did (and then got interrupted by campus security while he was having a nice conversation with girl #20). Aim to look like just a chill, relaxed, sociable guy who has a REASON for being there besides "I'm just a horn-dog just hittin' on babes", don't go buckwild approaching a new girl every 3 minutes, and you will be okay.
PLACES YOU CAN SAFELY MASS APPROACH
These are the venues you can mass approach in with relative abandon:
- Large bars and nightclubs. It's big, it's crowded, no one's really paying much attention to you, unless you are there ALL the time and REALLY stand out.
- Parks. There's no campus security or nanny policing of parks (generally). So go ahead, knock yourself out. Want to go approach 7 or 8 girls in an hour? You can. Just try to approach them spread out enough that they aren't all seeing you approach the others, and you're golden.
- House parties. It's a house party. Everyone's talking to everybody else. You can approach whoever you want. Just remember to treat it like at least semi-social circle, and talk to guys too, that way the hosts don't think you're weird and ask you to leave. So long as you're talking to guys AND girls, you can do a lot of approaching.
- Vacation resorts. Everyone's anonymous and no one knows each other. So long as you're not so egregious that you catch the eyes of the resort security, you can go around chatting various girls up without worry. Doubly so if you're also a guest.
PLACES YOU CAN DOWNRIGHT SPAM APPROACH
Got an itch to approach 25 girls/hour that you just HAVE to scratch?
Want to just spam openers on girls then move on to the next girl to open?
You're in luck; there are places where you can totally spam approach to your heart's content, with little fear of running into big scary men who tell you to leave.
- Beaches & boardwalks. Assuming a large enough and popular enough beach/boardwalk, you can walk up and down the beach/boardwalk approaching as you go and meet LOTS of girls. No one's going to care you're doing that unless you run afoul of some sort of anal-retentive lifeguard or something (highly unlikely. If so, just come back another day).
- Major shopping streets. It's very crowded, it's full of hotties, and no one's paying attention to what you are doing at all. You can approach a dozens of girls an hour looking for a hit if you want here, and no one is likely to realize you are doing it unless you're there every day... perhaps not even then.
- Large dance clubs. This place is so big, so loud, so dark, and so chaotic that no one has any idea what anyone else is doing. Just don't freak some girl out by feeling her up when she isn't ready for that and you'll be fine. Depending on who you ask, spam approaching may even be mandatory in a place like this, just to identify a girl who is feeling you (it's pretty hard to get her attention any other way).
- Fairs / festivals. It's big, crowded, and anonymous, with a high turnover rate, and the low-wage employees there don't care who is talking to whom. Easy place to make loads of approaches.
And that's it.
Follow this list and you can avoid ending up in sticky/uncomfortable situations, and make your approaching with the peace of mind of knowing you aren't being the socially awkward guy at risk of getting the boot.
Instead, be the cool guy who calibrates the frequency of his approaching to the venue, and meet girls worry-free.
Chase
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But, autism rates are way up since when I learned game so I see how this has to be said.
