This girl was visiting her friend who is part of this social group. We all went out last night. First at a chill bar than to a club.
As soon as we met, we had the typical British style banter and she was loving it and very playful.
She was doing social touches back, interrupting others to go back to speaking to me etc all night.
At the bar, I told her to come with me outside and she did so we spoke in private for a bit.
Then me, her and her friend started planning which club to go to and I pushed to go asap to try and reduce the group size which worked.
At the club, again she was very hands on and flirty so I asked her to go outside again. She didnt take her jacket though.
Outside is when the resistance/shit tests started.
Bit of chit chat...
Her: i know what you are going to do,
Me: what?
Her: kiss me
Me: Sorry I dont kiss outside clubs
Her: bullshit
Me: besides, I think you want me to kiss you
Her: i dont know what I want
Her: I'm conflicted. (She starts talking about life)..
Me: look me in the eyes (disrupting her monologue)
I pretend to kiss her but move down her neck and out with the slightest contact
Me: Lets go back inside, there is no pressure to do anything. We are just having fun.
Her: (doesnt want to move)
Her: its just I know we would have a great time and have good sex but Im not sure what I want in life.
Me: hey who said anything about sex. We are not having sex tonight. Im actually an innocent virgin.
Her: thats obviously not true. And if it was i wouldnt want to do anything with you because you would be shocked with my experience (Goes back to repeating same points about not being sure about what she wants)
Me (I try to get her back in the club again, the vibe has become too logical and she doesnt have her jacket)
Her: its just that I dont know if I want kids. There is a guy im kind of seeing back home and I dont know if I want to be more serious.
Me: (tried to reframe) Almost everyone doesnt know what they want. I dont know what I want long-term either but I do know that I'll keep trying new stuff while making sure that I have incredible experiences meeting new people, forming fun memories and not getting too worried on every possible outcome.
Her: yeah but its easy for you to say. Guys dont have biological clocks.
At this point I thought this is going absolutely nowhere. So I grabbed her hand and led her back to the club.
I went to dance with some of my other friends, and every once in a while she would pivot herself to dance with me. Later she had her jacket and bag so I tried one last "lets go for a walk" but she said no.
She did invite me to go to another social event that the grp is going for but I dont think I can make it.
I dont think I did that bad going thru her shit tests but let me know if you think I should have done something else.
My thoughts are that either the guy she is kind of seeing given her some kind of ultimatum (lets form a family or we break up) or she has been sleeping around for a while and is feeling unfulfilled.
As soon as we met, we had the typical British style banter and she was loving it and very playful.
She was doing social touches back, interrupting others to go back to speaking to me etc all night.
At the bar, I told her to come with me outside and she did so we spoke in private for a bit.
Then me, her and her friend started planning which club to go to and I pushed to go asap to try and reduce the group size which worked.
At the club, again she was very hands on and flirty so I asked her to go outside again. She didnt take her jacket though.
Outside is when the resistance/shit tests started.
Bit of chit chat...
Her: i know what you are going to do,
Me: what?
Her: kiss me
Me: Sorry I dont kiss outside clubs
Her: bullshit
Me: besides, I think you want me to kiss you
Her: i dont know what I want
Her: I'm conflicted. (She starts talking about life)..
Me: look me in the eyes (disrupting her monologue)
I pretend to kiss her but move down her neck and out with the slightest contact
Me: Lets go back inside, there is no pressure to do anything. We are just having fun.
Her: (doesnt want to move)
Her: its just I know we would have a great time and have good sex but Im not sure what I want in life.
Me: hey who said anything about sex. We are not having sex tonight. Im actually an innocent virgin.
Her: thats obviously not true. And if it was i wouldnt want to do anything with you because you would be shocked with my experience (Goes back to repeating same points about not being sure about what she wants)
Me (I try to get her back in the club again, the vibe has become too logical and she doesnt have her jacket)
Her: its just that I dont know if I want kids. There is a guy im kind of seeing back home and I dont know if I want to be more serious.
Me: (tried to reframe) Almost everyone doesnt know what they want. I dont know what I want long-term either but I do know that I'll keep trying new stuff while making sure that I have incredible experiences meeting new people, forming fun memories and not getting too worried on every possible outcome.
Her: yeah but its easy for you to say. Guys dont have biological clocks.
At this point I thought this is going absolutely nowhere. So I grabbed her hand and led her back to the club.
I went to dance with some of my other friends, and every once in a while she would pivot herself to dance with me. Later she had her jacket and bag so I tried one last "lets go for a walk" but she said no.
She did invite me to go to another social event that the grp is going for but I dont think I can make it.
I dont think I did that bad going thru her shit tests but let me know if you think I should have done something else.
My thoughts are that either the guy she is kind of seeing given her some kind of ultimatum (lets form a family or we break up) or she has been sleeping around for a while and is feeling unfulfilled.