Need help addressing a persistent night game limiting belief (getting recognized)

Beam

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Beginner level question so putting it here. Have identified a sticking point that I need help getting over because it's preventing me from approaching with the necessary volume to see any success in nightgame.

Chase mentions that during daygame, it's good to mix up your times and places so that people don't start to recognize that you're out to pick up girls, and that this works because people are stuck in their routines, usually.

I don't see anywhere of how this applies to nightgame - especially since in nightgame you only have a certain window of time to really go there every week (around 9:30PM - 3:00AM) and, a limited number of venues which are large (multilevel) and have enough girls of your type (I can think of under 5). If you go in there on a Friday or Saturday, high energy, wearing your best jacket (which you wear all the time because of how much good feedback you've got from it) and you approach like a machine, even if it is to build up social proof so people know you, what happens when you start getting recognized. Won't people start recognizing you every week - including girls you've already approached? Since others generally stick to their routines and frequent the same places. So if things went badly one night, and you had bad energy, they remember you as that guy, reject you again and then now you're screwed? I have recognized the same girls at some venues now, it makes me want to fly under the radar but this doesn't work with getting the hottest girls...

I know it's an irrational belief since of course guys have success even living in small towns, but I still need help reconciling it in my mind and was wondering what others thoughts were...
 

Skills

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Beginner level question so putting it here. Have identified a sticking point that I need help getting over because it's preventing me from approaching with the necessary volume to see any success in nightgame.

Chase mentions that during daygame, it's good to mix up your times and places so that people don't start to recognize that you're out to pick up girls, and that this works because people are stuck in their routines, usually.

I don't see anywhere of how this applies to nightgame - especially since in nightgame you only have a certain window of time to really go there every week (around 9:30PM - 3:00AM) and, a limited number of venues which are large (multilevel) and have enough girls of your type (I can think of under 5). If you go in there on a Friday or Saturday, high energy, wearing your best jacket (which you wear all the time because of how much good feedback you've got from it) and you approach like a machine, even if it is to build up social proof so people know you, what happens when you start getting recognized. Won't people start recognizing you every week - including girls you've already approached? Since others generally stick to their routines and frequent the same places. So if things went badly one night, and you had bad energy, they remember you as that guy, reject you again and then now you're screwed? I have recognized the same girls at some venues now, it makes me want to fly under the radar but this doesn't work with getting the hottest girls...

I know it's an irrational belief since of course guys have success even living in small towns, but I still need help reconciling it in my mind and was wondering what others thoughts were...
it is not a limiting belief, i have discuss this in some of my posts in the past even since 10 years ago in mpua forum... You get extra pressure and some type of extra anxiety specially when you start seeing the girls you have bang in the past in the same venue, now a days thankfully it does happen less often(women are not going out as much frequent as back in the days for some reason), that is why i recommend multiple venues, and or different parts of venues and opening under the radar and forcing ais and other techniques...
 

Will_V

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Beginner level question so putting it here. Have identified a sticking point that I need help getting over because it's preventing me from approaching with the necessary volume to see any success in nightgame.

Chase mentions that during daygame, it's good to mix up your times and places so that people don't start to recognize that you're out to pick up girls, and that this works because people are stuck in their routines, usually.

I don't see anywhere of how this applies to nightgame - especially since in nightgame you only have a certain window of time to really go there every week (around 9:30PM - 3:00AM) and, a limited number of venues which are large (multilevel) and have enough girls of your type (I can think of under 5). If you go in there on a Friday or Saturday, high energy, wearing your best jacket (which you wear all the time because of how much good feedback you've got from it) and you approach like a machine, even if it is to build up social proof so people know you, what happens when you start getting recognized. Won't people start recognizing you every week - including girls you've already approached? Since others generally stick to their routines and frequent the same places. So if things went badly one night, and you had bad energy, they remember you as that guy, reject you again and then now you're screwed? I have recognized the same girls at some venues now, it makes me want to fly under the radar but this doesn't work with getting the hottest girls...

I know it's an irrational belief since of course guys have success even living in small towns, but I still need help reconciling it in my mind and was wondering what others thoughts were...

Has it even happened once?

There's nothing wrong with girls knowing you're trying to get laid at night in clubs. I mean, it's what everyone is there for. I'd embrace it, make it look like I own the place. If a girl questions you just make fun of it, say you're building up a harem.

It's much more difficult in daygame, where the frame is that you're just going about your day. Night game? Anything goes.
 

DarkKnight

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I too just own what I am doing. It is usually other men who try to apply pressure but I deflect them. They know full well it is none of their business.
 

Warped Mindless

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Turn the problem into your advantage.

Make friends with the staff, the regulars, and especially the hot girls who are regulars but whom you have no sexual or romantic chemistry with. Use them all for massive amounts of social proof. When you meet a new girl at one of these places she should think “damn, everyone seems to know this guy… he must be pretty awesome.”
 

DarkKnight

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@Warped Mindless problem is, something I encounter is that male staff can get very antsy around me. Due to me having better fundamentals and they too having interest in the girls. The other day in a coffeeshop one of the male employees tried to pressure me on "buying more" despite that I am not stingy by any means. He simply noticed the female staff take a liking on me. Or shop employees standing very near for no reason when one of the female staff likes you.

I do however find it interesting how befriending hot females takes off their pressure. Then they want to befriend me because they do not want to lose the favor of the girls.
 

Warped Mindless

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@Warped Mindless problem is, something I encounter is that male staff can get very antsy around me. Due to me having better fundamentals and they too having interest in the girls. The other day in a coffeeshop one of the male employees tried to pressure me on "buying more" despite that I am not stingy by any means. He simply noticed the female staff take a liking on me. Or shop employees standing very near for no reason when one of the female staff likes you.

I do however find it interesting how befriending hot females takes off their pressure. Then they want to befriend me because they do not want to lose the favor of the girls.

Be nice to the guy in front of the girl. He then can’t really be a dick to you for no reason in front of her or he just looks dumb. Also, it’s easy enough to get guys like this on your team. When talking to the girl, give the guy a little bit of validation when he can hear. Talk him up to her slightly. He will now like you because he thinks you two are on the same team yet your not doing it so much that the girls opinion of him actually changes.

Ive used that tactic with petty egotistical doormen and bar staff plenty of times before.
 

DarkKnight

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Indeed, works on the short term but in the long term (this is my experience) these guys start getting tired or the competition.

I mean we are talking long time venues right?

Perhaps I am too much of a cynic, just have seen too much butthurt people around me. Usually beta orbitors.
 

Starboy

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Beginner level question so putting it here. Have identified a sticking point that I need help getting over because it's preventing me from approaching with the necessary volume to see any success in nightgame.

Chase mentions that during daygame, it's good to mix up your times and places so that people don't start to recognize that you're out to pick up girls, and that this works because people are stuck in their routines, usually.

I don't see anywhere of how this applies to nightgame - especially since in nightgame you only have a certain window of time to really go there every week (around 9:30PM - 3:00AM) and, a limited number of venues which are large (multilevel) and have enough girls of your type (I can think of under 5). If you go in there on a Friday or Saturday, high energy, wearing your best jacket (which you wear all the time because of how much good feedback you've got from it) and you approach like a machine, even if it is to build up social proof so people know you, what happens when you start getting recognized. Won't people start recognizing you every week - including girls you've already approached? Since others generally stick to their routines and frequent the same places. So if things went badly one night, and you had bad energy, they remember you as that guy, reject you again and then now you're screwed? I have recognized the same girls at some venues now, it makes me want to fly under the radar but this doesn't work with getting the hottest girls...

I know it's an irrational belief since of course guys have success even living in small towns, but I still need help reconciling it in my mind and was wondering what others thoughts were...
I'm suprised someone from here has this concern with going out to bars out of all places lol. I have this worry with doing daygame in my neighborhood. I've already recognized a few girls I approached on the street in the gym. Only one of them I approached awkwardly,but it's not like she really gives a shit. I still have this fear that I might reapproach the same girl in a given neighborhood and she'll tell her friends about it or be some weird girl who is freaked out by it. I'm naturally a more anxious/timid/paranoid guy cuz of how I was raised though.

Nightgame it's ok to frequent going to places because there's the social contract. Nobody really knows you're doing pickup or could shame you cuz it's fairgame to talk to women in there. A public place in the day like a mall or a cafe is another story because it's more unexpected.
 

ElderPrice

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Agreed with all the replies.

There's no shame that you're trying to get laid, and if anyone happens to ask you about it, they're more likely to respect you for being honest and confident about it. Why would you not be confident about it? The majority of guys are losers who are either sitting at home or standing on the sides of the venue not talking to anyone. You have a pair of balls and are actively trying to meet a great girl to fuck. Good for you.

As with any situation where there will be regulars, your best bet will be to befriend them. For the regular women, treat them as friends or social circle - don't treat them like cold approach.

I don't see why it can't get to a point where you show up each week, all the regulars smile and say hi to you, you hit on the new girls that you see that week, and everyone is happy.
 

Beam

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Cheers everyone for the replies. I have more to comment but it's 12:30AM and I need to go to bed for now...

it is not a limiting belief, i have discuss this in some of my posts in the past even since 10 years ago in mpua forum... You get extra pressure and some type of extra anxiety specially when you start seeing the girls you have bang in the past in the same venue, now a days thankfully it does happen less often(women are not going out as much frequent as back in the days for some reason), that is why i recommend multiple venues, and or different parts of venues and opening under the radar and forcing ais and other techniques...

@Skills Interesting. How do you prevent your momentum tanking in between venues, especially when the venues you are bouncing to have long lines to get in later in the night (I’m talking 45 minutes at times)? Also I find I tend to get in my head if I switch venues since in the new venue everyone has already had a bit to drink/high energy/in groups and I don’t know anyone since I haven’t talked to anyone there in the leadup to peak time. I guess this problem would be solved by having previously befriended the staff and that venue on another night as WM suggested. Also find if I try to fly under the radar at night I just become invisible – it’s like I have to be a big showman to get any attention from the hotties. Will look more into forcing Ais and the other techniques…

Turn the problem into your advantage.

Make friends with the staff, the regulars, and especially the hot girls who are regulars but whom you have no sexual or romantic chemistry with. Use them all for massive amounts of social proof. When you meet a new girl at one of these places she should think “damn, everyone seems to know this guy… he must be pretty awesome.”

@Warped Mindless Hmm, for befriending the staff, I’m guessing it’s probably worth going there slightly before peak time (8:30ish) when they’re just starting, when it’s quite and they don’t have many other people to talk to so that you can actually chit chat.

That being said I’ve sometimes had problems befriending the staff when I have tried, particularly the bouncers – a lot of times they don’t seem that interested in talking to me. Then again I have winged it and haven’t really put much thought into it.. Wonder if there are specific resources out there with strategies to help with this the same as there are for gaming chicks. Slightly different ballgame but a lot of overlap I’d imagine. That example you gave to DarkKnight about talking him up in front of the girls, strategies like that.
 

DarkKnight

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The other day this guy was being really annoying making loud comments like "ah when there are girls around ofcourse you have to be there as well. I confronted him on his behavior, he started defusing with saying he means well and respects my courage (this is him also trying to set himself up getting a green pass for his behavior). I replied with okay thanks for the props, but it is becoming uncomfortable (in a firm way). Basically acknowledging his respect but still putting social pressure on him. Sometimes guys like this try to befriend you in order to control you.

I am cutthroat with this. Dont like others interrupting me.
 

Fuck This

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So if you are going to be a regular certain places, you need to make them places you look like you are a part of, and belong there. That means creating relationships with other regulars WHO AREN'T TARGETS.... You will thusly be perceived by women there to be of a level of status, as a regular , rather than a social butterfly "out to be seen".

If you want to get to know the staff, go before peak hours and days. My perspective is neighborhood bars and taprooms and wine bars, rather than "discoteques" where conversation is more easily facilitated. But on busy nights they are hopping and hard to hear.
 

Skills

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Cheers everyone for the replies. I have more to comment but it's 12:30AM and I need to go to bed for now...



@Skills Interesting. How do you prevent your momentum tanking in between venues, especially when the venues you are bouncing to have long lines to get in later in the night (I’m talking 45 minutes at times)? Also I find I tend to get in my head if I switch venues since in the new venue everyone has already had a bit to drink/high energy/in groups and I don’t know anyone since I haven’t talked to anyone there in the leadup to peak time. I guess this problem would be solved by having previously befriended the staff and that venue on another night as WM suggested. Also find if I try to fly under the radar at night I just become invisible – it’s like I have to be a big showman to get any attention from the hotties. Will look more into forcing Ais and the other techniques…


^ oh i see, i get in free and vip! you can go really early (cheaper and or free and get stamped) then leave with the stamp and/or band, or go to a really big club with mulitple rooms or areas, so you can go to different areas........ Yeah the waiting will kind of kill momentum, the bouncing will not, will actually make you look like new shinny object, and "why is this dude so confident" cause they don't know you warm up in other clubs...... I recommend 3 venues, and or big club due to this...


Beam night game at this season (winter cuffing season) is kind of brutal, don't be too hard on yourself, after Halloween night game goes pretty much too shit! till about post valentines... (I am working on a big practical comprehensive ai and forcing ai post, cause people are all over the place with this, missunderstaning, and think they need it, you really don't it is just a tool)...
 

Starboy

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Beam night game at this season (winter cuffing season) is kind of brutal, don't be too hard on yourself, after Halloween night game goes pretty much too shit! till about post valentines...
@Skills damn. You're in south florida so the weather isn't that cold there so does it still make a difference? It's already cold as shit in ny. Are less girls out or are the ones there just not as open to meeting a guy? I already experienced that getting girls to meet up from daygame # closes is going to be hard.
 

West_Indian_Archie

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So if things went badly one night, and you had bad energy, they remember you as that guy, reject you again and then now you're screwed?

This doesn't happen as often as you'd think.

The way to handle it is with a smile, a laugh, and an apology.

"Man, I was on one that night....my dog died/ex left me/I finally watched the end of Game of Thrones.." blah blah blah.

The real problem is with Staff. You want to be on their good side, get to know them, as part of your long term night game strategy.

But some female waitstaff or some male bartenders, some male bouncers - just won't like you. Some of them will even give a hard time to whales and bottle poppers that spend thousands in a night. The club is the one place where the customer isn't always right.

Outside of some off the wall stuff, like getting them fired or arrested, - that's just something you're going to have to deal with by avoiding them.

At best, you can get girls to lock you in, instead of it looking like you're "pestering girls". But some dudes are just gonna have a hate boner for you.

WIA
 

Skills

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@Skills damn. You're in south florida so the weather isn't that cold there so does it still make a difference? It's already cold as shit in ny. Are less girls out or are the ones there just not as open to meeting a guy? I already experienced that getting girls to meet up from daygame # closes is going to be hard.
Yes it makes somewhat of a difference, I would think day game better cause more women out in stores,( but I don't know @Phoenix can let us know) but online and Night game get more difficult, not impossible just harder, cuffing season....
 

Skjöldr

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@Skills @Starboy can confirm, daygame is harder. November/december more family oriented. it was the same last year, same this year. things sort of go into hibernation. and things like cuffing season. also it is very cold outside and when you are freezing you just wanna get from A to B as fast as possible. it isn't impossible, but you just have more things outside of your control against you and less things with you. one positive thing is that the girls who are out are probably more likely to want to be out.
 
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