- Joined
- Feb 23, 2022
- Messages
- 848
Thought I'd share some of my approach. Since @DoWhatWorks has already laid out some solid info, my aim here is to make my info complimentary and lean into some more technical based aspects of night game, as well as scenario based strategizing.
A word on starting the night out
Before you even go out to game take some time to get yourself in order. Meditate, work out, read a book, clear your head, go on a walk, take a cold shower. Catch up with a friend. Whatever it takes to put your self in a calm relaxed mood. Eat healthy nutritious whole foods. Don't consume food that will only make you crash later on in the evening. Drink quality tea. If you have to run to the store to grab food, take the opportunity to warm up. Chat up whoever you can. Open an attractive women if you see one
Now its off to Game Night
Entering the venue
First things first, before you enter the door, get your feet on the ground and your head in the game. Now, any body who's somebody knows that the way you enter a space counts for a lot. Slow the fuck down amigo. You are in no rush. No rush at all. Come through that front door with poise and casual ease. You are just soaking up the ambiance. A man in his element. Enjoying himself. Needing nothing, wanting nothing. Just being. Evaluating his surroundings. Not in a sizing the place up kind of way. In a taking it all in kind of way. And that is indeed what you are doing. and you are definitely not scanning the room for girls (as far as any one can tell). If you come in looking hungry, you're toast. Also, you want to appear at peace, and exude a warm and seductive energy. Sometimes people with a slow mosey appear threatening (this is obviously not the vibe we are going for). Often times (all depending the lay of the land) I will take a pregnant pause after I enter the place. I plant my feet and just look around with casual curiosity. Then I start to move. Slow and easy to the first place that seems the most suitable for me to be. People will absolutely notice you when you move this way. You will stand out. Often times even turn heads. Especially if your fashion is on lock. If there are any women who are hungry, you will know who they are right out the gate.
A brief word on drinking
Everyone has they're own relationship to alcohol. For me personally I tend to lose my edge after a few drinks, so if I am drinking I really pace myself. I rarely have more than one alcoholic drink and then just order mocktails (I hate standing around with out a drink in my hand). There is party night and then there is Game Night. If it is Game Night I don't need to be getting super tipsy. Whatever your threshold is, a good rule of thumb is don't drink till you lose your edge. Drink lots of water.
Moving through out the space/Pre gaming
It is crucial to know the places in the venue where, at any given moment, you will
-Stick out like a soar thumb
-Blend in
-Stand out in a good way
-Stand out in an awkward way
-Where you can go to not bee seen
One of my favorite games to play is finding the perfect seat where a lot of traffic passes by but I can just be casually sitting back easy, not sticking out like a soar thumb or anything, just a man chilling in just the right place. Then, I see how many people I can open, in a natural manner, right from that spot (a good seat at the bar but turned outward in a calibrated way often does the trick). Doing so little work. People just coming into my sphere and getting hooked. Able to leave whenever they please. Social proof galore. This basically reads as "That guy does so little, yet people seem to just gravitate around him"
It is generally crucial to pace oneself when warming up the venue you want to be social but not overly eager. You are going to be here for quite sometime and there is no rush. Yes you want to open a solid amount of people. But you don't want to be the guy running around the bar immediately chatting up everyone. People will start to notice and be like "oh no, here comes that guy. Guess it's our turn now." Also, when you are moving around the venue too much your presence becomes too seen. You want your presence to be more felt than seen. You might pop into every ones awareness from time to time, but you are not all over the place. It also appears like you have no real place to be. All that being said, some nights you are just in a heavy social momentum when you enter the venue and you kind kind of just ride that wave without all the pre gaming procedures.
If you aren't quite syncing into longer interactions with people, it is perfectly okay to have downtime and just be your own company. Just moseying about or sitting and taking in the ambiance, maybe text a friend from time to time. I like to carry a note book in my pocket I can jot thoughts down in, or a sketch book I can draw in (Though doing this too much can come across as uncalibrated, so use sparingly. you are in a bar after all). Be sure to find the right perch cause you don't want to be the guy awkwardly in the corner with his back to everyone. If you can't find a good perch find a place to hide. Sit on the shitter if you have to. Leave and take a walk, or change venues. Don't jump the gun on leaving though cause sometimes all it takes is a few solid minutes out of view, then you can open or reopen another group and sink in deeper. If you find a good flow with some people ride it out. But also keep your head in the game. If there are no prospects in the group you are chatting with find an appropriate time to bounce and stay on course. This also keeps you seen as valuable. You are doing you're thing and even if the connection is cool you're not sticking around forever. And lastly, be sure to chat up dudes as well. In general I am opening more women than men. But you do not want it to look like you are just mass approaching women. You are just out being social and happen to run into so cool women. That's the vibe.
Openers that work like a charm
-are y'all in a band together? Wait, let me guess (evaluating each girl), bassist, drummer, guitarist aaand...hmmm you're the manager, I wouldn't want to owe you money (said to the girl in the leather jacket)
-You look like you run a business together. Let me guess (evaluating each girl), You're the ideas person, you get practical things done, and you're the people person.
-Okay ya'll are clearly in a gang together.
or a variation
Did you know that in the state of (insert the state you are currently in) a group of 4 or more people is legally considered a gang?
-y'all look like you are plotting something devious over here. for real though, you're all huddled together and whispering.
Or another variation of that
-okay, I know you're trying to hide it but its obvious you're plotting world domination over here
-umm, the fashion shoot is that way, this is a bar
These work great as you can get creative and also they all end up wanting to know why you made those assumptions and will start joining in on the fiction of it. Then you can transition into more real rapport building like "any way, for really though you all seem creative. How do you know each other?"
A lot of these lines offer good opportunity for push pull. For example on the band line you can mention how their band probably rocks, but also throw out lines like "Is it true that all drummers are a handful?"(said to the girl you labelled as the drummer. Or on the one where they are starting a business, to the girl who has been dubbed the manager "You're not too much of a tyrant, are?"
The formula to all these openers is simple. You sharing endearing observations, often centered around human connection. You are creating a framework for fun creative fictions that everyone can participate in. You are using the ground work the opener lays to spring board off of into a more "real" form of conversing. Once you figure out these mechanics and are able to see how they apply to each unique situation, the possible expressions of this are endless.
Share a unique observation about the connection they have
-I just want to appreciate how much fun you two are having together right now
-Whoa, you two obviously go shopping together, but clearly maintain your own individual sense of fashion
-(see girls giggling together) okay, a friend who makes you laugh that hard is definitely someone to keep around. How long have you know each other?
-You two clearly go way back
These openers are great because they immediately evoke feelings of warmth and connection. They women feel noticed for something authentic. Be sure to ramp up the energy a little once they are hooked though cause you could risk falling into a friend vibe. A good segue on the line about them going way back could be (if they indeed do go way back) "well then I am sure you've caused a lot of trouble together" or if they just met recently "Well I am sure you will be breaking the law together in no time. How'd you meet?"
A word about touch
In general avoid being too physical with any women in a overtly public way I'm talking about real sexual vibes. Not talking about lingering handshakes, close hugs with a sexually ambiguous tone, "friendly shoulder rubs, running a finger down her arm, touching her elbow, touching her knee. All this is great cause you can keep it touch subtle yet stimulating. It is a sort of unspoken secret between the two of you. Overt displays of touch signify to the public "we got a play boy in our midst" and say things don't work out with one women, well now it is trickier to open others. Also, overt displays can trigger a strong ASD response. Overt displays of touch can also give women a burst of validation, a major dopamine rush, and then have her go cold after the come down. There are definitely times to go full in with touch but be discerning and do due diligence to make sure you're shot is lined up, and also the you are using it with a bigger picture end game in mind. The closer you get to the close is a good time to start getting more psychical, but still keep her wanting.
A brief word on re-opening sets/girls
Sometimes re opening a set requires a bit of finesse, often times if the initial interaction went well it is easier than ever. This can be a good moment to go a little bolder. Start seeding more sexual vibes, upping the non verbal's and such.
A word on being clear on which woman you want in a set
This can be crucial with groups of women. Once you have determined who you like you want to make it clear to the group, in a subtle way, that she is the one you want. If you fail to do this you can become the guy who is just being social with no clear direction. Also the women are left to wonder who your connecting with "is it me or her, or her, or her?" and you can lose seductive steam with the set. Start moving the conversation more and more to her, and then is the circumstances are right for it just fade the two of you out of the group convo and build a little "us bubble" around the two of you. That being said, there are times when flirting with the whole group and being vague about where your interests lie can build a little healthy competition that doesn't hurt you at all. Just don't over do it.
A technique I use to build tension with a set
Something I will do when interacting with a set of women and there attention towards me is waning. Like when they start talking amongst themselves. I just bounce without a word. This can be great especially if we had a solid lengthy conversation built a lot of rapport, and things are going very well. It leaves them like "what, did he really just walk away?" Then, when the timing is right I reopen them like 5 -10 minutes later. Not to short, not too long. Now it is like I am just one of the group and I just got up to get another drink or take a piss or something. This can be a great opportunity to now sit down with them if I was standing before. If you come back to the set and some dude is fumbling with an approach you are golden. You are now the cool savvy dude how scared off the chump. If another cool dude savvy dude has opened the set and there is enough women to go around. You might have very well just gained a wingman.
Saving women from chumps
If you see women that clearly could use some help, and it makes sense for your own personal flow to go something about it, do something about. This gives you a serious leg up with those particular women. Her defeneses will be up from the lastbinteraction though, so stick the landing. Being chill, and charming should do the trick. If you need to just treat this moment like a pre hamming opener, walk away, and re open her later
Sharks
Sometimes another mack swoops in on your girl. This usually happens when you are making some sort of misstep. You aren't hooking her, you aren't escalating enough, aren't creating a bubble that only the two of exist in, you make too bold a move at the wrong time. Anything that opens her up for someone else to come in. This can be really dangerous because you have already primed her. She is all stimulated and open, and for whatever reason you are fumbling so now she is super receptive to a smooth operator who offers a better option. Don't sweat though. You have already built more rapport with here and still have the advantage. Ignore him. This deflates his approach. Focus on her. Ask her "do you know this guy?" she might be like "no" but still have a bit of charm in eyes towards him. Don't panic and just focus the energy on moving your interaction along with her. This will often take care of the situation and he will just go away. If he has some how managed to hook her attention a bit more you might have to address him. Keep the conversation light. Don't embolden him in his approach, but don't be so dismissive that you seem shook, and definitely do not be stand offish. Once you have addressed him for a moment this is the time to turn back to your girl and make moves like "Hey weren't we gonna grab another drink?" or "Hey lets go grab a seat over there and you can tell finish telling about your families ranch (or whatever you were talking about). If he does some how manage to get his hooks in a bit more (which, if he has you are definitely fucking up here), you are in a bit of a duel stage here and the more skilled player will win. First off, if you are able to switch gears and view this as a sort of fun game, you will have the edge here because you are not getting so serious about it. What you do here is start to loop him into the conversation a bit (after all he already managed to assert himself. You are essentially rolling with the punch. Now don't get into frame battles with him. Like, if he is the super entrepreneurial type and you are super creative don't start arguing that life should be free flowing when he says life should be very structured. Instead treat everything he says as quaint and somewhat uninteresting. Have the slight amusement you might with a child (although not in a condescending way. that indicates that you are flustered by his approach). Keep turning your energy back to your girl
so something like this
Him(in whatever context of the conversation that has been started): Well Rome wasn't built in a day
You: True true. (turn to her) Hey you've travelled a lot you ever been to Rome?
Essentially what you are doing is taking his contributions to the conversation, rolling with them, related them back to her and using the fact that you have more rapport with her to your advantage. Keep this up, and unless he really finds a way to tool you, he will get deflated. The moment you see the opportunity move your girl and politely wish him a good night.
Moving sets
Once you have a built enough rapport, seeded a bit of compliance, and have some solid momentum you can start getting women to invest more in the interaction by moving them around the venue. Head to the pool table, the dart board, to the bar for another drink, away from the bar to get a good seat, check out the art on the walls, away from the loud speakers, onto the dance floor, outside for fresh air or a smoke, and so on. Once you have done a solid move this is a good time to start building tension, get more intimate and suggest a venue change. Since she compiled with your lead here, reward her with a bit of touch, or a nice compliment. Don't go over board and make it clear that it is because she complied
-(move her to an intimate corner, there are a lot of plants here) Something about being surrounded by all these plants makes me feel sensual (run your finger up her spine then pull away, sit down, and change the subject as if it never happened)
-"I am glad we walked over hear, not only do we get to play darts, but I also got to watch how elegantly you move across a room"
Venue changes
Seed the idea early in the interaction. Way before it is even close to time to change venues.
-"I just got a new synthesizer. Looking forward to getting home later for a late night jam in the studio"
-Bring up the subject of food and hype up an awesome taco truck nearby. That way, when it is way later on and ever one is hungry. Well hey remember that truck I told you about
-"I was out dancing at such and such club the other night and they were throwing down some real bangers"
-If the women are tourists "There is this great park about 10 minutes walk form her that overlooks the city"
-"The other night I figured out how to get on the roof of the building next door. The view is off the chains"
-If she is a tourist and an architecture student "Have you seen such and such building while you are here? It is iconic to the city and the architecture is flawless (you can tailor these to her in a personal way)
If you seed the idea earlier in the interaction it is way easier to bring it up again when the time is right for a venue change. I like to throw a bunch of these seeds out there through out the interaction that way there are tons of options lined up and I can tailor them to the mood/people.
A word on having your house in order
if you intend on pulling women back to your place make sure it is clean, cozy, fun. Have some drinks you can prepare ranging form tea to cocktails. Have some snacks on hand. Have some sensual experiences (cool lights, comfy pillows, back massagers, incense, rose water mist spray). Have stimulating materials (art work, books, magazines, personal items with unique stories, a solid music playlist). Now you might not need any of these. Heck, she might be the type of girl to fuck you in a pig sty. Having these things in order though, will always give you the edge.
Closing
This is a moment where the woman/women are going to be heavily in a deciding phase as to how much they want to commit to the interaction. Sometimes the close is no thing at all you just waltz right out the door together. But often times there will be a hesitation, or interference. It is crucial you keep a cool head in this moment. Read between the lines of what is happening
If the ground work has already been laid, the bulk of this is about handling logistics.
Ground work being things like
-Having enough reconnaissance about who she is with, what her plans are, why she is out tonight, where she live, what she is doing tomorrow, how drunk she is (stay away from wasted girls or girls who are pretty damn sloppy. Just grab a number)
-warming up her friends
-building rapport
-building tension and chemistry
-building a collaborative environment
Managing the logistics must be collaborative. Gather info about what the concerns are and address them in a win win sort of way. You are in no way pushing her to hang out. You are simply helping to create the conditions necessary for a smooth and easy time together.
Also, sometimes during closing she will shit test you. Keep your head on the game, hold your frame, and steady your aim.
Closing Interference
can come from many places. Her jealous female friends, Jealous guy friends, friends who wanting companionship and don't want to be left hanging alone. Those are most of the major ones. This is a whole other post waiting to happen in and of itself but we will touch briefly on some basic principles.
Primarily address your girl when handling this. She is your team mate at this point (even though she might still be hesitant, she probably wants it as much as you and is waiting for your lead and to see how you handle the situation). If some one is interfering turn to your girl first and gather more info
-"seems like your friend is upset about something"
-"I am not sure why she just doesn't seem to like me"
-"Seems like your friend is worried you wont catch your flight"
-"are you sure your friend isn't crushing on you, seems like maybe he is jealous or something. I don't know. you know him better than me"
She will often then provide more info for you to work with
-"Yeah she just went through a rough break up, she feeling pretty down"
-"Uggg, she gets this way with guys. she's kind of over protective"
- "Yeah she has to get back to work right away the next day"
-"Don't worry I got this" (this is more common of a response than you might believe when a male friend is being jealous and honestly I wouldn't really want her to respond any other way)
You two can then come up with collaborative ways to problem solve. You should take the lead on this. I am only going to run through one of the scenarios here and you can come up with your own solutions for the other ones I presented.
in the scenario where her friend went through a break up. Turn to your girl and say something like "Well, sounds like she could use your support. How about we go check in with her" walk up to the friend "Hey (friends name) I really want to steal Amy away cause we have a cool connection, but obviously you didn't really come out tonight with that intention and you've had a day so we just wanted to check in with you" I would then promptly leave the two women to it and go mind my own business for a minute. The reason I would take the lead on approaching the friend rather just sending my girl to talk to her is because it creates a vibe of the two of us together, friend gets to see that you genuinely care about her, and she also gets to see that you two are getting along. I bounce after a quick initial intro sentence so I don't come across as pushy. The friend will often be like "no no, go with him." And you can always number close if for whatever reason it doesn't pan out. Also bear in mind that this whole scenario might have played out with the friend right there the whole time and you would tailor the process a bit accordingly.
Some key take take away on interference
-Take the lead
-your girl is your team mate
-gather more info from your girl
-determine the root of why the interference is happening
-collaborate on a solution
- as a team address the person who is interfering in a way that address their key concerns (yes even the bitchy cockblock friend)
And a last note. Sometimes while you are addressing interference she will go and do something not very teammate like and shit test you. I said it before and I will say it again. Keep your head in the game, hold your frame, and steady your aim.
The hard close
Sometimes you have to go for a hard close. This is a bit of a hail Mary and if you don't pull it off you might lose out on an opportunity for a future meet up, cause you pushed a little too hard. The hard close is good when you have handled all reasonable logistics and she for whatever is still not coming round. I still keep this collaborative but I also hint at the notion that this is really the best opportunity we have to keep the connection going and if we don't it might just never happen. I frame it a bit like this
"Well, we have some really cool chemistry and there is a lot of exciting energy in this moment and you know how it goes when you put that down. A lot of times it just doesn't come back. Life happens things get in the way, the chemistry starts to feel like it was just a mirage"
She might object with something like " Well if there is really something here we will be able to put it down and come back to"
To which I would respond "Maybe, but also sometimes things like this just need to be followed a bit more and that's what makes them easy to pick back up. Sometimes walking away while the energy is high is just a recipe for it to fizzle out and I personal am the type of person to follow something compelling" then I show some empathy and respect for her "Look, if you really feel like we can put this down and come back to it I can be open to putting some faith in that, but I have a really cool piece of art I want to share with you and a wonderful bottle of wine that no doubt we would enjoy sipping" This is when you take her hands and slowly lead her to start walking. You don't lead her abruptly. Keep eye contact as you are leading her and don't just turn your back to her and start walking. Once you two have some more momentum. Reward her with a walking side hug or something of the sort and just keep the energy flowing.
A word about threesomes
Sometime you are hitting it off with two friends. If the vibe is strong between the three of you, you don't really have to pick one or the other. Just run it like any other seduction. Threesomes are way easier to pull off than you might think. Especially with tourist girls who are open to adventure and novelty.
Okay gentlemen, no more ink in the pen for today. Have fun out there!
-Stray Dog
A word on starting the night out
Before you even go out to game take some time to get yourself in order. Meditate, work out, read a book, clear your head, go on a walk, take a cold shower. Catch up with a friend. Whatever it takes to put your self in a calm relaxed mood. Eat healthy nutritious whole foods. Don't consume food that will only make you crash later on in the evening. Drink quality tea. If you have to run to the store to grab food, take the opportunity to warm up. Chat up whoever you can. Open an attractive women if you see one
Now its off to Game Night
Entering the venue
First things first, before you enter the door, get your feet on the ground and your head in the game. Now, any body who's somebody knows that the way you enter a space counts for a lot. Slow the fuck down amigo. You are in no rush. No rush at all. Come through that front door with poise and casual ease. You are just soaking up the ambiance. A man in his element. Enjoying himself. Needing nothing, wanting nothing. Just being. Evaluating his surroundings. Not in a sizing the place up kind of way. In a taking it all in kind of way. And that is indeed what you are doing. and you are definitely not scanning the room for girls (as far as any one can tell). If you come in looking hungry, you're toast. Also, you want to appear at peace, and exude a warm and seductive energy. Sometimes people with a slow mosey appear threatening (this is obviously not the vibe we are going for). Often times (all depending the lay of the land) I will take a pregnant pause after I enter the place. I plant my feet and just look around with casual curiosity. Then I start to move. Slow and easy to the first place that seems the most suitable for me to be. People will absolutely notice you when you move this way. You will stand out. Often times even turn heads. Especially if your fashion is on lock. If there are any women who are hungry, you will know who they are right out the gate.
A brief word on drinking
Everyone has they're own relationship to alcohol. For me personally I tend to lose my edge after a few drinks, so if I am drinking I really pace myself. I rarely have more than one alcoholic drink and then just order mocktails (I hate standing around with out a drink in my hand). There is party night and then there is Game Night. If it is Game Night I don't need to be getting super tipsy. Whatever your threshold is, a good rule of thumb is don't drink till you lose your edge. Drink lots of water.
Moving through out the space/Pre gaming
It is crucial to know the places in the venue where, at any given moment, you will
-Stick out like a soar thumb
-Blend in
-Stand out in a good way
-Stand out in an awkward way
-Where you can go to not bee seen
One of my favorite games to play is finding the perfect seat where a lot of traffic passes by but I can just be casually sitting back easy, not sticking out like a soar thumb or anything, just a man chilling in just the right place. Then, I see how many people I can open, in a natural manner, right from that spot (a good seat at the bar but turned outward in a calibrated way often does the trick). Doing so little work. People just coming into my sphere and getting hooked. Able to leave whenever they please. Social proof galore. This basically reads as "That guy does so little, yet people seem to just gravitate around him"
It is generally crucial to pace oneself when warming up the venue you want to be social but not overly eager. You are going to be here for quite sometime and there is no rush. Yes you want to open a solid amount of people. But you don't want to be the guy running around the bar immediately chatting up everyone. People will start to notice and be like "oh no, here comes that guy. Guess it's our turn now." Also, when you are moving around the venue too much your presence becomes too seen. You want your presence to be more felt than seen. You might pop into every ones awareness from time to time, but you are not all over the place. It also appears like you have no real place to be. All that being said, some nights you are just in a heavy social momentum when you enter the venue and you kind kind of just ride that wave without all the pre gaming procedures.
If you aren't quite syncing into longer interactions with people, it is perfectly okay to have downtime and just be your own company. Just moseying about or sitting and taking in the ambiance, maybe text a friend from time to time. I like to carry a note book in my pocket I can jot thoughts down in, or a sketch book I can draw in (Though doing this too much can come across as uncalibrated, so use sparingly. you are in a bar after all). Be sure to find the right perch cause you don't want to be the guy awkwardly in the corner with his back to everyone. If you can't find a good perch find a place to hide. Sit on the shitter if you have to. Leave and take a walk, or change venues. Don't jump the gun on leaving though cause sometimes all it takes is a few solid minutes out of view, then you can open or reopen another group and sink in deeper. If you find a good flow with some people ride it out. But also keep your head in the game. If there are no prospects in the group you are chatting with find an appropriate time to bounce and stay on course. This also keeps you seen as valuable. You are doing you're thing and even if the connection is cool you're not sticking around forever. And lastly, be sure to chat up dudes as well. In general I am opening more women than men. But you do not want it to look like you are just mass approaching women. You are just out being social and happen to run into so cool women. That's the vibe.
Openers that work like a charm
-are y'all in a band together? Wait, let me guess (evaluating each girl), bassist, drummer, guitarist aaand...hmmm you're the manager, I wouldn't want to owe you money (said to the girl in the leather jacket)
-You look like you run a business together. Let me guess (evaluating each girl), You're the ideas person, you get practical things done, and you're the people person.
-Okay ya'll are clearly in a gang together.
or a variation
Did you know that in the state of (insert the state you are currently in) a group of 4 or more people is legally considered a gang?
-y'all look like you are plotting something devious over here. for real though, you're all huddled together and whispering.
Or another variation of that
-okay, I know you're trying to hide it but its obvious you're plotting world domination over here
-umm, the fashion shoot is that way, this is a bar
These work great as you can get creative and also they all end up wanting to know why you made those assumptions and will start joining in on the fiction of it. Then you can transition into more real rapport building like "any way, for really though you all seem creative. How do you know each other?"
A lot of these lines offer good opportunity for push pull. For example on the band line you can mention how their band probably rocks, but also throw out lines like "Is it true that all drummers are a handful?"(said to the girl you labelled as the drummer. Or on the one where they are starting a business, to the girl who has been dubbed the manager "You're not too much of a tyrant, are?"
The formula to all these openers is simple. You sharing endearing observations, often centered around human connection. You are creating a framework for fun creative fictions that everyone can participate in. You are using the ground work the opener lays to spring board off of into a more "real" form of conversing. Once you figure out these mechanics and are able to see how they apply to each unique situation, the possible expressions of this are endless.
Share a unique observation about the connection they have
-I just want to appreciate how much fun you two are having together right now
-Whoa, you two obviously go shopping together, but clearly maintain your own individual sense of fashion
-(see girls giggling together) okay, a friend who makes you laugh that hard is definitely someone to keep around. How long have you know each other?
-You two clearly go way back
These openers are great because they immediately evoke feelings of warmth and connection. They women feel noticed for something authentic. Be sure to ramp up the energy a little once they are hooked though cause you could risk falling into a friend vibe. A good segue on the line about them going way back could be (if they indeed do go way back) "well then I am sure you've caused a lot of trouble together" or if they just met recently "Well I am sure you will be breaking the law together in no time. How'd you meet?"
A word about touch
In general avoid being too physical with any women in a overtly public way I'm talking about real sexual vibes. Not talking about lingering handshakes, close hugs with a sexually ambiguous tone, "friendly shoulder rubs, running a finger down her arm, touching her elbow, touching her knee. All this is great cause you can keep it touch subtle yet stimulating. It is a sort of unspoken secret between the two of you. Overt displays of touch signify to the public "we got a play boy in our midst" and say things don't work out with one women, well now it is trickier to open others. Also, overt displays can trigger a strong ASD response. Overt displays of touch can also give women a burst of validation, a major dopamine rush, and then have her go cold after the come down. There are definitely times to go full in with touch but be discerning and do due diligence to make sure you're shot is lined up, and also the you are using it with a bigger picture end game in mind. The closer you get to the close is a good time to start getting more psychical, but still keep her wanting.
A brief word on re-opening sets/girls
Sometimes re opening a set requires a bit of finesse, often times if the initial interaction went well it is easier than ever. This can be a good moment to go a little bolder. Start seeding more sexual vibes, upping the non verbal's and such.
A word on being clear on which woman you want in a set
This can be crucial with groups of women. Once you have determined who you like you want to make it clear to the group, in a subtle way, that she is the one you want. If you fail to do this you can become the guy who is just being social with no clear direction. Also the women are left to wonder who your connecting with "is it me or her, or her, or her?" and you can lose seductive steam with the set. Start moving the conversation more and more to her, and then is the circumstances are right for it just fade the two of you out of the group convo and build a little "us bubble" around the two of you. That being said, there are times when flirting with the whole group and being vague about where your interests lie can build a little healthy competition that doesn't hurt you at all. Just don't over do it.
A technique I use to build tension with a set
Something I will do when interacting with a set of women and there attention towards me is waning. Like when they start talking amongst themselves. I just bounce without a word. This can be great especially if we had a solid lengthy conversation built a lot of rapport, and things are going very well. It leaves them like "what, did he really just walk away?" Then, when the timing is right I reopen them like 5 -10 minutes later. Not to short, not too long. Now it is like I am just one of the group and I just got up to get another drink or take a piss or something. This can be a great opportunity to now sit down with them if I was standing before. If you come back to the set and some dude is fumbling with an approach you are golden. You are now the cool savvy dude how scared off the chump. If another cool dude savvy dude has opened the set and there is enough women to go around. You might have very well just gained a wingman.
Saving women from chumps
If you see women that clearly could use some help, and it makes sense for your own personal flow to go something about it, do something about. This gives you a serious leg up with those particular women. Her defeneses will be up from the lastbinteraction though, so stick the landing. Being chill, and charming should do the trick. If you need to just treat this moment like a pre hamming opener, walk away, and re open her later
Sharks
Sometimes another mack swoops in on your girl. This usually happens when you are making some sort of misstep. You aren't hooking her, you aren't escalating enough, aren't creating a bubble that only the two of exist in, you make too bold a move at the wrong time. Anything that opens her up for someone else to come in. This can be really dangerous because you have already primed her. She is all stimulated and open, and for whatever reason you are fumbling so now she is super receptive to a smooth operator who offers a better option. Don't sweat though. You have already built more rapport with here and still have the advantage. Ignore him. This deflates his approach. Focus on her. Ask her "do you know this guy?" she might be like "no" but still have a bit of charm in eyes towards him. Don't panic and just focus the energy on moving your interaction along with her. This will often take care of the situation and he will just go away. If he has some how managed to hook her attention a bit more you might have to address him. Keep the conversation light. Don't embolden him in his approach, but don't be so dismissive that you seem shook, and definitely do not be stand offish. Once you have addressed him for a moment this is the time to turn back to your girl and make moves like "Hey weren't we gonna grab another drink?" or "Hey lets go grab a seat over there and you can tell finish telling about your families ranch (or whatever you were talking about). If he does some how manage to get his hooks in a bit more (which, if he has you are definitely fucking up here), you are in a bit of a duel stage here and the more skilled player will win. First off, if you are able to switch gears and view this as a sort of fun game, you will have the edge here because you are not getting so serious about it. What you do here is start to loop him into the conversation a bit (after all he already managed to assert himself. You are essentially rolling with the punch. Now don't get into frame battles with him. Like, if he is the super entrepreneurial type and you are super creative don't start arguing that life should be free flowing when he says life should be very structured. Instead treat everything he says as quaint and somewhat uninteresting. Have the slight amusement you might with a child (although not in a condescending way. that indicates that you are flustered by his approach). Keep turning your energy back to your girl
so something like this
Him(in whatever context of the conversation that has been started): Well Rome wasn't built in a day
You: True true. (turn to her) Hey you've travelled a lot you ever been to Rome?
Essentially what you are doing is taking his contributions to the conversation, rolling with them, related them back to her and using the fact that you have more rapport with her to your advantage. Keep this up, and unless he really finds a way to tool you, he will get deflated. The moment you see the opportunity move your girl and politely wish him a good night.
Moving sets
Once you have a built enough rapport, seeded a bit of compliance, and have some solid momentum you can start getting women to invest more in the interaction by moving them around the venue. Head to the pool table, the dart board, to the bar for another drink, away from the bar to get a good seat, check out the art on the walls, away from the loud speakers, onto the dance floor, outside for fresh air or a smoke, and so on. Once you have done a solid move this is a good time to start building tension, get more intimate and suggest a venue change. Since she compiled with your lead here, reward her with a bit of touch, or a nice compliment. Don't go over board and make it clear that it is because she complied
-(move her to an intimate corner, there are a lot of plants here) Something about being surrounded by all these plants makes me feel sensual (run your finger up her spine then pull away, sit down, and change the subject as if it never happened)
-"I am glad we walked over hear, not only do we get to play darts, but I also got to watch how elegantly you move across a room"
Venue changes
Seed the idea early in the interaction. Way before it is even close to time to change venues.
-"I just got a new synthesizer. Looking forward to getting home later for a late night jam in the studio"
-Bring up the subject of food and hype up an awesome taco truck nearby. That way, when it is way later on and ever one is hungry. Well hey remember that truck I told you about
-"I was out dancing at such and such club the other night and they were throwing down some real bangers"
-If the women are tourists "There is this great park about 10 minutes walk form her that overlooks the city"
-"The other night I figured out how to get on the roof of the building next door. The view is off the chains"
-If she is a tourist and an architecture student "Have you seen such and such building while you are here? It is iconic to the city and the architecture is flawless (you can tailor these to her in a personal way)
If you seed the idea earlier in the interaction it is way easier to bring it up again when the time is right for a venue change. I like to throw a bunch of these seeds out there through out the interaction that way there are tons of options lined up and I can tailor them to the mood/people.
A word on having your house in order
if you intend on pulling women back to your place make sure it is clean, cozy, fun. Have some drinks you can prepare ranging form tea to cocktails. Have some snacks on hand. Have some sensual experiences (cool lights, comfy pillows, back massagers, incense, rose water mist spray). Have stimulating materials (art work, books, magazines, personal items with unique stories, a solid music playlist). Now you might not need any of these. Heck, she might be the type of girl to fuck you in a pig sty. Having these things in order though, will always give you the edge.
Closing
This is a moment where the woman/women are going to be heavily in a deciding phase as to how much they want to commit to the interaction. Sometimes the close is no thing at all you just waltz right out the door together. But often times there will be a hesitation, or interference. It is crucial you keep a cool head in this moment. Read between the lines of what is happening
If the ground work has already been laid, the bulk of this is about handling logistics.
Ground work being things like
-Having enough reconnaissance about who she is with, what her plans are, why she is out tonight, where she live, what she is doing tomorrow, how drunk she is (stay away from wasted girls or girls who are pretty damn sloppy. Just grab a number)
-warming up her friends
-building rapport
-building tension and chemistry
-building a collaborative environment
Managing the logistics must be collaborative. Gather info about what the concerns are and address them in a win win sort of way. You are in no way pushing her to hang out. You are simply helping to create the conditions necessary for a smooth and easy time together.
Also, sometimes during closing she will shit test you. Keep your head on the game, hold your frame, and steady your aim.
Closing Interference
can come from many places. Her jealous female friends, Jealous guy friends, friends who wanting companionship and don't want to be left hanging alone. Those are most of the major ones. This is a whole other post waiting to happen in and of itself but we will touch briefly on some basic principles.
Primarily address your girl when handling this. She is your team mate at this point (even though she might still be hesitant, she probably wants it as much as you and is waiting for your lead and to see how you handle the situation). If some one is interfering turn to your girl first and gather more info
-"seems like your friend is upset about something"
-"I am not sure why she just doesn't seem to like me"
-"Seems like your friend is worried you wont catch your flight"
-"are you sure your friend isn't crushing on you, seems like maybe he is jealous or something. I don't know. you know him better than me"
She will often then provide more info for you to work with
-"Yeah she just went through a rough break up, she feeling pretty down"
-"Uggg, she gets this way with guys. she's kind of over protective"
- "Yeah she has to get back to work right away the next day"
-"Don't worry I got this" (this is more common of a response than you might believe when a male friend is being jealous and honestly I wouldn't really want her to respond any other way)
You two can then come up with collaborative ways to problem solve. You should take the lead on this. I am only going to run through one of the scenarios here and you can come up with your own solutions for the other ones I presented.
in the scenario where her friend went through a break up. Turn to your girl and say something like "Well, sounds like she could use your support. How about we go check in with her" walk up to the friend "Hey (friends name) I really want to steal Amy away cause we have a cool connection, but obviously you didn't really come out tonight with that intention and you've had a day so we just wanted to check in with you" I would then promptly leave the two women to it and go mind my own business for a minute. The reason I would take the lead on approaching the friend rather just sending my girl to talk to her is because it creates a vibe of the two of us together, friend gets to see that you genuinely care about her, and she also gets to see that you two are getting along. I bounce after a quick initial intro sentence so I don't come across as pushy. The friend will often be like "no no, go with him." And you can always number close if for whatever reason it doesn't pan out. Also bear in mind that this whole scenario might have played out with the friend right there the whole time and you would tailor the process a bit accordingly.
Some key take take away on interference
-Take the lead
-your girl is your team mate
-gather more info from your girl
-determine the root of why the interference is happening
-collaborate on a solution
- as a team address the person who is interfering in a way that address their key concerns (yes even the bitchy cockblock friend)
And a last note. Sometimes while you are addressing interference she will go and do something not very teammate like and shit test you. I said it before and I will say it again. Keep your head in the game, hold your frame, and steady your aim.
The hard close
Sometimes you have to go for a hard close. This is a bit of a hail Mary and if you don't pull it off you might lose out on an opportunity for a future meet up, cause you pushed a little too hard. The hard close is good when you have handled all reasonable logistics and she for whatever is still not coming round. I still keep this collaborative but I also hint at the notion that this is really the best opportunity we have to keep the connection going and if we don't it might just never happen. I frame it a bit like this
"Well, we have some really cool chemistry and there is a lot of exciting energy in this moment and you know how it goes when you put that down. A lot of times it just doesn't come back. Life happens things get in the way, the chemistry starts to feel like it was just a mirage"
She might object with something like " Well if there is really something here we will be able to put it down and come back to"
To which I would respond "Maybe, but also sometimes things like this just need to be followed a bit more and that's what makes them easy to pick back up. Sometimes walking away while the energy is high is just a recipe for it to fizzle out and I personal am the type of person to follow something compelling" then I show some empathy and respect for her "Look, if you really feel like we can put this down and come back to it I can be open to putting some faith in that, but I have a really cool piece of art I want to share with you and a wonderful bottle of wine that no doubt we would enjoy sipping" This is when you take her hands and slowly lead her to start walking. You don't lead her abruptly. Keep eye contact as you are leading her and don't just turn your back to her and start walking. Once you two have some more momentum. Reward her with a walking side hug or something of the sort and just keep the energy flowing.
A word about threesomes
Sometime you are hitting it off with two friends. If the vibe is strong between the three of you, you don't really have to pick one or the other. Just run it like any other seduction. Threesomes are way easier to pull off than you might think. Especially with tourist girls who are open to adventure and novelty.
Okay gentlemen, no more ink in the pen for today. Have fun out there!
-Stray Dog
Last edited by a moderator:
