Girl ran away from our date

Hey, so I struggle with calibration a lot. It’s quite difficult for me to gauge how much interest I should show vs. how I actually feel.

Due to this it has unfortunately happened more than once that a girl has left the date early because I have shown too much interest.

One time the girl literally ran away:/

I’m not a creepy guy. I’ve probably approached over 800 women by now, I have friends, etc. So I can’t be creepy.

But when I know the girl is interested, the pressure is high to make things happen. I feel like I get an intense look in my eyes and that scares girls away, especially since I’ve been quite aloof and outcome independent up to that point. But when it’s on I don’t want to miss.

On a date one can’t be outcome independent, can they. It’s a huge failure if you don’t at least kiss on the date, or if you miss any other escalation windows. So it NEEDS to happen.

But if I somehow become outcome independent on the date, I won’t care and nothing will happen.

I think that outcome dependency has been covered a lot, I just need to have an abundance of women.

So my question is, if a girl pulls away (but doesn’t run away) because you’re too intense/needy, how do you recover from that date?

Pull back. Give her some room to adjust her view of the situation.

TrailBlazer said:

I’m not a creepy guy.

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Bro. If girls are literally running away from you, then you are being a creepy guy. Maybe not intrinsically but you're getting feedback that you played the game wrong, and need to learn more. Its going to go bad at first but you need those data points to progress. You will learn from your failures. Youre already ahead of 90% of guys, because they wont put themselves out there to learn.

Its not huge failure if you dont kiss on a date. Like you said you need to work on calibration. I tend to not kiss unless its appropriate, meaning i know i can pull to sex or a quick kiss at the end IF the vibe is there.

Being too intense and too needy are totally different things and symptoms of completely different problems. The way to recover when your advance is rejected but she stays is to act like its no big deal and keep talking like normal. If she stays and her demeanor doesn't change then she is saying "not yet" not "no".

OldGuy said:

Pull back. Give her some room to adjust her view of the situation.

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Good idea, that’s what I try to do. But usually her view of the situation remains “this guy wants me too much and I don’t feel good around him”.

Which is true that I want the girl a lot, but that’s only because I get so close to scoring and don’t want to mess it up.

Levo said:

Bro. If girls are literally running away from you, then you are being a creepy guy. Maybe not intrinsically but you're getting feedback that you played the game wrong, and need to learn more. Its going to go bad at first but you need those data points to progress. You will learn from your failures. Youre already ahead of 90% of guys, because they wont put themselves out there to learn.

Its not huge failure if you dont kiss on a date. Like you said you need to work on calibration. I tend to not kiss unless its appropriate, meaning i know i can pull to sex or a quick kiss at the end IF the vibe is there.

Being too intense and too needy are totally different things and symptoms of completely different problems. The way to recover when your advance is rejected but she stays is to act like it’s no big deal and keep talking like normal. If she stays and her demeanor doesn't change then she is saying "not yet" not "no".

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Yeah true but how can I figure out what exactly I need to adjust? I don’t know how exactly my neediness is showing.

I know I’m stressed and tense but that will never go away. Unless I have like 3 other girls lined up, but that’s not realistic in the long term. I don’t think I can have that many girls liking me.

About the escalation, for me it is a big deal because I’ve been interested in seduction for way too long. I can’t miss chances, I’m supposed to know. Every girl can be kissed if you play it perfectly. I go for perfection.

And yes I know the way to recover when she stays after a rejected escalation, what I’m wondering is how to recover after she leaves because she feels too pressured to make a choice.

Maybe it’s about making it so smooth that she doesn’t have to choose at all. But that’s like extremely good level, I need like 10K more approaches to get there.

If she leaves, there is no way to recover.

OldGuy said:

If she leaves, there is no way to recover.

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I mean, surely there must be, no? There is a way to turn any situation around.

I’m wondering if the better way is to give her space and contact her after a few weeks, or to show emotional intelligence by texting her about being too pushy. Or telling her that the whole date was a bad idea, so that she feels like she’s losing me.

Me showing interest always leads to girls leaving the date, I can’t keep losing them like this.