- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,353
When I first came to Girlschase back in 2014 as a damaged guy who had been a social outcast in his high school and college days. All the years of being left out, not having a solid group of friends, not being invited to the nice parties in college, and not having a lot of luck in college took their toll on me. Ever since coming to Girlschase, I've been with 22 different women (and counting) ever since coming to Girlschase and had many wild nights of intense sex and amazing moments with some amazing women. A number of those women have come back for more and I am still making some strides in the game, getting better every year I feel. The fun thing is, I feel like I haven't even hit my peak yet and there are more amazing experiences to come.
After two years on Girlschase which have resulted in 20+ lays, here are some lessons I learned.
1 - Location and the city you're in is everything.
Most dating advice blogs will downplay it but I would say it is just as important as looks and personality. I have known guys that were relatively good looking and cool guys who didn't do too well with women while guys who were not as great managed to do better than them. Living in NYC has probably been the single biggest thing that has helped me do better with women. NYC has variety, many types of women, more single women than single men, and women are here to hookup instead of engaging in LTRs. Before NYC, I was in a college town where if you weren't a popular fraternity guy or an athlete, you were going to have a tough time. Luckily I went after some of the foreign exchange girls and some available upperclassmen at the school which stopped me from being completely lonely but still, I've realized that location is everything.
If I was stuck in some conservative city where people get married at 25 or a city where people have strict morals, I would have had no luck at all no matter what I did. I know guys who moved to NYC after being in more conservative areas, they all say that it single-handedly turned things around for them in regards to women. If you aren't a white guy, location is that much more important!
Not to discourage the folks on here stuck in small towns but you might want to be careful, a lot of the aggressive game might not work there. Whatever you do, pick a location that is a good fit for you and your goals.
2 - Looks matter, in terms of how you present yourself.
Most men will not look like Henry Cavill and most younger guys will not have the prettyboy look of Zayn Malik, it isn't that big of a setback. On the other hand, you have to be making the most of what nature has given you. I know short guys that date beautiful girls because these guys are buff, max out their style, and are charismatic guys to be around. I've known bald guys who have spent time in the gym, have a good style, and found a way to make it all work out for them. So even though you don't need to be classically handsome, you need to look very presentable. I wouldn't overdo it and go GQ all the time but I do recommend getting in the best shape of your life, that is a big one, especially for online dating apps like Tinder.
3 - Lifestyle is also huge.
Why do guys working at nightclubs get laid more than doctors? The answer is simple, because guys working at nightclubs have more opportunities with women. A lifestyle should ultimately give you an opportunity to chase women or at least not restrict you from it. I decided against going into Investment Banking after college because of the brutal schedule that involved 80+ hour workweeks. My friends who are in med school and working in demanding industries like Investment Banking have a rough time in regards to women, time just doesn't permit them the opportunity to chase women.
Ideally, you want the lifestyle that is somewhat respectable in terms of a career but not a major investment to where your life is consumed by it. If you want to be a doctor or investment banker, go ahead as those are very lucrative professions, but understand that for the time being you might not experience a lot of success with women. I am lucky to work a job where my weekends are free.
If you get this and the first 2 worked out (looks and location), you're in a position where opportunities are arising and you're not having to go above and beyond for women.
4 - Always be on the lookout, alert, and in the moment. Opportunities will present themselves and you should capitalize. Most of my wild nights did not come from heroic approaches.
While PUA and other beliefs tell you to go out, approach 100+ women, and keep getting stronger with the approaches; realize that there might be some women who are already into you. Perhaps it is the girl who has stepped on the elevator with you a few times in your apartment, the girl who goes to the same cafe as you a few times, the girl you keep running into at some places you go to, or the girl who has glanced in your direction a few times when you're out at a bar.
Most people are angry thinking about the past or worried thinking about the future, especially true for us guys in our 20s, but you have to be the one to think about the present moment and live in it. Assuming you have the first 3 lessons on this list worked out, opportunities will present themselves in regards to women.
A lot of my wild nights did not involve me going out, making a bold approach, trying to fight off her friends so she could come with me (I've never done that), or anything like that. My wild nights happened because I picked up on an IOI, the girl was into me, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, I made a light approach towards her, or through a decent conversation on Tinder where I already knew it was going down.
5 - Lead, especially without talking.
Sometimes, when I take a girl out on a date I immediately grab her hand after the date is over and continue the conversation we were having. Before she even realizes it, I am walking her back to my place. Now if there is an objection, then that sucks for me but there usually isn't one. I lead her back to my place and from there, with a guy like me, it is usually a done deal. I also recommend a nice walk before you take her back to your place or taking the stairs instead of the elevator, exercise can really get you going! Post workout sex is some of the best sex I have had but that is for another time!
6 - As soon as it is the two of you together, escalate without even a hint of shyness, be very aggressive, and dominate.
Usually when I get her alone, I like kiss her on the neck and have my arm around her. I grab the ass tightly and kiss her on the cheeks and neck. Then I try to strip her nude and if there isn't any LMR, I try to get her down to her bra and panties. A few times I've had situations where I would try to take her panties off but she slaps my hand away. What I do is I keep making out with her and a few minutes later, try again. I love to pick them up and carry them over to either the couch or the bed once, especially when I have them in their bra and panties. So many times she will smile and laugh as she is in her two piece and I am carrying her over to the bed. As soon as we are back to my place, my body is all over hers and it is that way until she leaves.
Now I don't want anyone here getting into serious trouble, if she has made it clear then back off and stop. A few weeks ago I fucked a girl so hard that she started crying during sex, I stopped fucking her then and there and instead just calmed her down.
7 - Because the truth is, the fun is in the foreplay and what you do before and sometimes while you fuck. So learn to work that tongue and mouth yourself.
Guys like to imagine the best part being where you fuck her real hard and give her an orgasm, well, that has not been the best part of sex for me. For me, the best part of sex has been when I strip her down from fully clothed into just her bra and panties, then get her topless, then we make out, and I almost always suck the titts and run my tongue over the nipples. If I like her enough, I am licking the armpits, kissing her abs, massaging her ass, kissing her inner thighs, and putting her in the mood to where she is begging for the dick. I've made some girls have an orgasm by just eating them out.
Grab those thighs, smack that ass a few times, ran that tongue in some places, and kiss her in a few places too.
8 - It isn't over until she is gone.
So you fucked her and then you cummed, it isn't over. Most of the times, after I fuck her I like to lay on top of her and kiss her a few times. Majority of the times I've had a girl over, fucked her that night, kissed her a few times after that after paying her some compliments, occasionally fuck in the middle of the night if she is down for it, fuck her the next morning if she is cool with it, and do minor things for her. A few times I've carried her over to the living room where her clothes were at or had moments where I am sitting on the side of the bed, she is standing over me, I put my arms around her, kiss her a few times on the abs, smack her booty a few times, look up at her to smile, and then walk her over the living room with my arm around her.
I have convinced girls who had to leave that morning to stay for an extra session by doing minor things like this and had girls call me over to fuck some more. Be intimate the whole time even when you are talking about something that isn't sex. I let her tell her story as I nod, kiss her, and give her compliments.
9 - A lot of us are doing this to make up for lost time.
We didn't get the hottest girls when we were in high school and in my case, didn't even have all that much luck in college. A lot of us were outcasts, loners, and not one of the cool kids in our teens and early 20s. We didn't take the prettiest girl to prom or get invited to the formal thrown by the hottest sorority at our school, which is why we came here in order to fix things and make it right. I know that for me personally, I chase women and try to raise the number of women I've had sex with just to make up for the fact that I left high school a virgin and struggled to get have that much success in college (though I did have some success).
A lot of us are stuck in a tricky situation to where we're getting laid in the real world but we're getting laid in a time of our lives where sex is basically normal and not as prized or edgy like it was in our younger years. To put in other words, maybe it's like we're getting to see an awesome movie when it's out on DVD and most people have already seen it instead of seeing it on the weekend when it first premiered. Who knows, maybe someone else can come up with a better analogy for it.
10 - Getting laid is only a part of the recovery process.
Getting laid alone won't fix us and set us free, I feel like there is more to it.
I admit, even though I've had quite a bit of sex, I feel like a broken man and I feel like I am not the only one. We couldn't get laid in our younger years due to issues like not being popular enough, being a social outcast, having issues making friends, and our circumstances at the time. We didn't get to experience how it is like being one of the cool kids and popular people.
Now that we can get laid, we get a taste of it but there has to be more to this lifestyle than just the sex. Getting laid will fix some issues but I feel like other ghosts from our socially unsuccessful past that haunt us still need to be taken care of so we can finally be at peace.
I know this issue haunts me the most and I want to really find a solution for it, not only for me but for many others in my situation. Maybe the solution is partying with Leonardo DiCaprio, having a ton of pics of us with our dates on social media as we grow a big following, finding a nice upscale snobby private club to be a part of as we laugh at everyone below us, and I mean who knows. Whatever it is, I will spend the rest of my 20s or even my life finding how guys in my situation can recover for good from our lonely and socially unsuccessful past.
After two years on Girlschase which have resulted in 20+ lays, here are some lessons I learned.
1 - Location and the city you're in is everything.
Most dating advice blogs will downplay it but I would say it is just as important as looks and personality. I have known guys that were relatively good looking and cool guys who didn't do too well with women while guys who were not as great managed to do better than them. Living in NYC has probably been the single biggest thing that has helped me do better with women. NYC has variety, many types of women, more single women than single men, and women are here to hookup instead of engaging in LTRs. Before NYC, I was in a college town where if you weren't a popular fraternity guy or an athlete, you were going to have a tough time. Luckily I went after some of the foreign exchange girls and some available upperclassmen at the school which stopped me from being completely lonely but still, I've realized that location is everything.
If I was stuck in some conservative city where people get married at 25 or a city where people have strict morals, I would have had no luck at all no matter what I did. I know guys who moved to NYC after being in more conservative areas, they all say that it single-handedly turned things around for them in regards to women. If you aren't a white guy, location is that much more important!
Not to discourage the folks on here stuck in small towns but you might want to be careful, a lot of the aggressive game might not work there. Whatever you do, pick a location that is a good fit for you and your goals.
2 - Looks matter, in terms of how you present yourself.
Most men will not look like Henry Cavill and most younger guys will not have the prettyboy look of Zayn Malik, it isn't that big of a setback. On the other hand, you have to be making the most of what nature has given you. I know short guys that date beautiful girls because these guys are buff, max out their style, and are charismatic guys to be around. I've known bald guys who have spent time in the gym, have a good style, and found a way to make it all work out for them. So even though you don't need to be classically handsome, you need to look very presentable. I wouldn't overdo it and go GQ all the time but I do recommend getting in the best shape of your life, that is a big one, especially for online dating apps like Tinder.
3 - Lifestyle is also huge.
Why do guys working at nightclubs get laid more than doctors? The answer is simple, because guys working at nightclubs have more opportunities with women. A lifestyle should ultimately give you an opportunity to chase women or at least not restrict you from it. I decided against going into Investment Banking after college because of the brutal schedule that involved 80+ hour workweeks. My friends who are in med school and working in demanding industries like Investment Banking have a rough time in regards to women, time just doesn't permit them the opportunity to chase women.
Ideally, you want the lifestyle that is somewhat respectable in terms of a career but not a major investment to where your life is consumed by it. If you want to be a doctor or investment banker, go ahead as those are very lucrative professions, but understand that for the time being you might not experience a lot of success with women. I am lucky to work a job where my weekends are free.
If you get this and the first 2 worked out (looks and location), you're in a position where opportunities are arising and you're not having to go above and beyond for women.
4 - Always be on the lookout, alert, and in the moment. Opportunities will present themselves and you should capitalize. Most of my wild nights did not come from heroic approaches.
While PUA and other beliefs tell you to go out, approach 100+ women, and keep getting stronger with the approaches; realize that there might be some women who are already into you. Perhaps it is the girl who has stepped on the elevator with you a few times in your apartment, the girl who goes to the same cafe as you a few times, the girl you keep running into at some places you go to, or the girl who has glanced in your direction a few times when you're out at a bar.
Most people are angry thinking about the past or worried thinking about the future, especially true for us guys in our 20s, but you have to be the one to think about the present moment and live in it. Assuming you have the first 3 lessons on this list worked out, opportunities will present themselves in regards to women.
A lot of my wild nights did not involve me going out, making a bold approach, trying to fight off her friends so she could come with me (I've never done that), or anything like that. My wild nights happened because I picked up on an IOI, the girl was into me, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, I made a light approach towards her, or through a decent conversation on Tinder where I already knew it was going down.
5 - Lead, especially without talking.
Sometimes, when I take a girl out on a date I immediately grab her hand after the date is over and continue the conversation we were having. Before she even realizes it, I am walking her back to my place. Now if there is an objection, then that sucks for me but there usually isn't one. I lead her back to my place and from there, with a guy like me, it is usually a done deal. I also recommend a nice walk before you take her back to your place or taking the stairs instead of the elevator, exercise can really get you going! Post workout sex is some of the best sex I have had but that is for another time!
6 - As soon as it is the two of you together, escalate without even a hint of shyness, be very aggressive, and dominate.
Usually when I get her alone, I like kiss her on the neck and have my arm around her. I grab the ass tightly and kiss her on the cheeks and neck. Then I try to strip her nude and if there isn't any LMR, I try to get her down to her bra and panties. A few times I've had situations where I would try to take her panties off but she slaps my hand away. What I do is I keep making out with her and a few minutes later, try again. I love to pick them up and carry them over to either the couch or the bed once, especially when I have them in their bra and panties. So many times she will smile and laugh as she is in her two piece and I am carrying her over to the bed. As soon as we are back to my place, my body is all over hers and it is that way until she leaves.
Now I don't want anyone here getting into serious trouble, if she has made it clear then back off and stop. A few weeks ago I fucked a girl so hard that she started crying during sex, I stopped fucking her then and there and instead just calmed her down.
7 - Because the truth is, the fun is in the foreplay and what you do before and sometimes while you fuck. So learn to work that tongue and mouth yourself.
Guys like to imagine the best part being where you fuck her real hard and give her an orgasm, well, that has not been the best part of sex for me. For me, the best part of sex has been when I strip her down from fully clothed into just her bra and panties, then get her topless, then we make out, and I almost always suck the titts and run my tongue over the nipples. If I like her enough, I am licking the armpits, kissing her abs, massaging her ass, kissing her inner thighs, and putting her in the mood to where she is begging for the dick. I've made some girls have an orgasm by just eating them out.
Grab those thighs, smack that ass a few times, ran that tongue in some places, and kiss her in a few places too.
8 - It isn't over until she is gone.
So you fucked her and then you cummed, it isn't over. Most of the times, after I fuck her I like to lay on top of her and kiss her a few times. Majority of the times I've had a girl over, fucked her that night, kissed her a few times after that after paying her some compliments, occasionally fuck in the middle of the night if she is down for it, fuck her the next morning if she is cool with it, and do minor things for her. A few times I've carried her over to the living room where her clothes were at or had moments where I am sitting on the side of the bed, she is standing over me, I put my arms around her, kiss her a few times on the abs, smack her booty a few times, look up at her to smile, and then walk her over the living room with my arm around her.
I have convinced girls who had to leave that morning to stay for an extra session by doing minor things like this and had girls call me over to fuck some more. Be intimate the whole time even when you are talking about something that isn't sex. I let her tell her story as I nod, kiss her, and give her compliments.
9 - A lot of us are doing this to make up for lost time.
We didn't get the hottest girls when we were in high school and in my case, didn't even have all that much luck in college. A lot of us were outcasts, loners, and not one of the cool kids in our teens and early 20s. We didn't take the prettiest girl to prom or get invited to the formal thrown by the hottest sorority at our school, which is why we came here in order to fix things and make it right. I know that for me personally, I chase women and try to raise the number of women I've had sex with just to make up for the fact that I left high school a virgin and struggled to get have that much success in college (though I did have some success).
A lot of us are stuck in a tricky situation to where we're getting laid in the real world but we're getting laid in a time of our lives where sex is basically normal and not as prized or edgy like it was in our younger years. To put in other words, maybe it's like we're getting to see an awesome movie when it's out on DVD and most people have already seen it instead of seeing it on the weekend when it first premiered. Who knows, maybe someone else can come up with a better analogy for it.
10 - Getting laid is only a part of the recovery process.
Getting laid alone won't fix us and set us free, I feel like there is more to it.
I admit, even though I've had quite a bit of sex, I feel like a broken man and I feel like I am not the only one. We couldn't get laid in our younger years due to issues like not being popular enough, being a social outcast, having issues making friends, and our circumstances at the time. We didn't get to experience how it is like being one of the cool kids and popular people.
Now that we can get laid, we get a taste of it but there has to be more to this lifestyle than just the sex. Getting laid will fix some issues but I feel like other ghosts from our socially unsuccessful past that haunt us still need to be taken care of so we can finally be at peace.
I know this issue haunts me the most and I want to really find a solution for it, not only for me but for many others in my situation. Maybe the solution is partying with Leonardo DiCaprio, having a ton of pics of us with our dates on social media as we grow a big following, finding a nice upscale snobby private club to be a part of as we laugh at everyone below us, and I mean who knows. Whatever it is, I will spend the rest of my 20s or even my life finding how guys in my situation can recover for good from our lonely and socially unsuccessful past.
. Great strides friend.
