17 year old girl virgin

[Dylweed]

I'm 22 and there's a cute 17 yr old girl who i work with and after work one day she told me that she likes me. I already knew she was attracted to me and i would have asked her out if she was 18, and i told her that. She said she doesn't mind the age thing so I just decided to go on a date with her anyways, even with the huge age difference.

We met up for food, split the cost of the meal, it went well, talked for an hour and a half and invited her back to my place to watch netflix. She agreed.
After the movie started, while still talking I tried to manhandle kiss her and she wouldn't let me, i tried it again 20 minutes later and again she wouldn't let me.

We hung out again though 2 days later and when i tried to kiss her that time she kissed me back. We were making out, i was feeling her body with my hand. Eventually she told me she was a virgin. I pretty much stopped escalating right away. She said she wants to really know a guy and be in love before finally doing it. I got kind of scared of this and didn't try to escalating again at all that night. Then 2 days later when she texted me about hanging out again i told her i think that we should just be friends. I was afraid of commitment and hurting her in the future so i ended things.

This was 3 weeks ago and after she left work today she texted me asking what i'm up to tomorrow and if i wanna do something. I said yeah and suggested we chill at my place. She agreed.

Anybody got any advice on what i should do in this weird situation im in? I would still want to sleep with this girl but I really don't know what she wants now after what happened. If she just wants to chill as friends thats cool, im still down for that(technically i was the one to friend zone her). But sleeping with her would be fun and i think she would enjoy it too. She's about to graduate high school so why not lose her virginity. So i was thinking of trying to kiss her again when we're hanging out and see how that goes and maybe try to escalate to sex again. Or should i just not try to make a move and really just hang out as friends? Anybody got any advice?




CLIFFNOTES if you don't want to read all that:
I'm 22 and went on 2 dates with a 17 year old. On the 2nd date, found out she was a virgin. Stopped trying to escalate to sex and texted her that i wanted to be just friends. Now 3 weeks later she just texted me asking if i wanna do something tomorrow. I agreed and said we'd chill at my house and she agreed. I'm confused as to what to do now. I would still want to sleep with her but don't know how she feels. Anybody got any advice?

 

[PinotNoir]

Yeah, that can be a really tough situation if you don't want to hurt a girl.

The first option is to of course drop it and just be friends.

The second option I see is to frame yourself as a lover as much as possible. Really get her thinking, "He could never be my boyfriend." You want to get the notion of commitment completely out of her head (at least with you). Tell her stories about friends hooking up and how they had a really enjoyable, pleasurable time and didn't get into a relationship after (even tell your own stories). As much as possible, you want her to view you as a guy that just doesn't want commitment with any girl. Or, if she'll be graduating HS soon and going to college, comment on how LDR just never works, etc. Talk about how sex is a natural, pleasurable thing that all humans need; it's a natural desire like hunger/thirst that needs to be satisfied. She still may get hurt after sex, so you have to make sure to handle her emotions after sex as well. Cuddle, continue to talk with her as friends, etc.

A third option is to go more direct. This will cause the least amount of pain, but it's also more of a gamble with really low odds. This is under the assumption that she said that she's a virgin because she wants her first time to be with you -- an experienced guy (which can definitely be the case!). You basically invite her over one-on-one. You tell her how attractive she is and that you just can't resist but don't want to hurt her. You ask if she wants her first sexual experience to be with you but that there is no definitive chance of a committed relationship forming afterwards.

Good luck.